hello welcome this episode very special episode about hypnotist Bernie's
exposition joining us tonight is John and Jan and so but before we move on
today I just want to give a little bit of a trigger warning mr. fait John here
is a offer and he recently wrote a book about his letters and correspondence
with a serial killer so frota show we'll be talking about obviously on the topic
on uh on his his his correspondence with a serial killer
and there will be a discussion on what the serial killer did and you know being
the nature of the subject it's going to be you know not the kind of conversation
you would like to enjoy while in the dinner time let's put it that way and
and you know so just a fair trick awarding it may not be pleasant for some
viewer and I guess like we were discretion is advised
so yeah you know but this show is on on YouTube and maybe complicitous sometime
afterwards or you know there's a channel 8 I guess after 98 fine fine
channel produced by CCTV you may want to flip to those channels if you know
reciting the action of a serial killer what bothers you we will well you know s
is part of but we're not gonna hold back or not what we're gonna talk about so
well once again get this question is advice so joining us tonight here is
John John is the offer of and Jen is the sister of John and they will she'll be
here to support and help talk about yes yeah so this is the nature of the
relationships here and we don't just have like a beautiful lady here just to
you know she's just not a model she's she's not
ikd she's actually here for a purpose all right so John let's start this off
well tell us a little bit about let's just start off by the people who have no
idea who the subject matter is who is offer shop gross lesser-known but what's
this timeframe
he wanted to kill hangout prostitutes
but he wasn't it was was he convicted of convicted of killing one he was there
they found him the evidence against them on to but to get a lesser sentence wait
where was his earlier operation okay yes yeah okay and he has a neck well nothing
we want to clarify its vacation self deprecation all the way we were just
picking the record straight or not who
think about and so like today's show is not a documentary we're not going to go
into let his history but if you want I'm sure you know you can click pause on
this video well if you're watching it on YouTube you can click pause on live TV
but you can't you can let go and like there's plenty of material mr. Shawcross
and john here it's actually half live long relationship so so we just want to
be clear until the nature of the relationship betrayed you and mr. Shawn
process you him had read written back and forth have you ever met him in
person contention okay I ran out of money because and so yes okay basically
he wanted me to meet him and I just missed out on one opportunity okay and
he assumed he was temperament okay yeah exactly
but he wanted me to meet him I just missed out on dad it's a little bit but
this is fair to say that you have five here written letters back and forth
written letters and I'm working on it
yeah and the book and the book you've written is based on the letters you okay
hardly he's a background figure okay I'm known as a saw man I mean I'm the one
would Jeffrey downwards like thoughts you know he was in the background but it
was always a saying for him to be good or be good at okay you know and some
people see that as his trying to encourage me to go and do
what he did or thoughts that I had myself that makes Toby a case I mean
again whose Texas Chainsaw Massacre gonna start killing Toulouse in his 50s
I don't want to say what I am now but so there are still hope
so let's assess honest this is a roll back the narrative a little bit so how
did you and mr. Schock grows well the whole reason why I got involved in eBay
was because of Jeffrey Dahmer because they were selling Jeffrey Dahmer's
apparently his floor mat in front of the doormat
well now it's more than more strict now with eBay they take auctions down they
were selling Jeffrey Dahmer's doormat that's why I got into eBay that started
selling murderabilia with it and as I was selling some of the stuff I got
other of his friends okay alright the sharp Russia's friends I was saying he
foamed up my addressing to me okay yeah
I was such a lost soul but time it didn't really matter
oh I'll tell you because he knew certain bikers and whatnot Hells Angels yes not
good thing who I sold other stuff too Oh cuz you sold things in the area that's
yeah right right yeah so they found exactly so note to self always use an
anonymous mailbox
you guys don't understand I never believed in pseudonyms I want to be me I
got you to know boy yeah problem let's go come on and also good think that mr.
Shawcross has a serial killer not an escape artist okay but that just keep
let's keep this story like simple for now so so you were selling his what was
he selling on ebay that caught his attention
what kind of art painting he used to do drawing like you should do these
four-leaf clovers that you put together is this before he could incarcerate
roses
how did his art work or out of prison wall if I mean and and and he found out
that you were a dealer of his art and then how how did you - so he got in
touch with you yes yeah what was the story behind that they
did wrote did he write you he wrote to me okay I could have cut it
off at that point not just stupid obviously okay but he was one of the few
people I figured I could actually see eye to eye with so it was another
what was his first another it's the first money the first bracelet first
winner was that yeah John yeah I see that you're selling some of my out work
he wanted to know how I got it to begin with yeah I know I was that's what I was
ask yeah it was Frank look I used to so long videos of autopsies and stuff like
that okay you know and like very rare videos of death seeing things you know
death videos like you were seeing faces of death you know and some people would
make interesting trees for instance one trade was I got a body bag just checked
in kind yeah okay tip puffy yeah one of the things was a body bag from so he
worked in a more for some of the videos that was selling okay yeah right yeah so
one of the things was this person somehow got ahold of some chakras are
and he traded it to me okay one of these body bags which I use that shower
curtain with me do you know how via his groupies Oh bless certain what they call
groupies look I never was okay just friends and so so after the first letter
that well how did you reply to tell us the story that's a major part of the
book across letters basically it took me a little while figure out how was I
gonna respond to this man you know free family are already ailing you did me
except my sister Jennifer for the most part so look at how do i how do I talk
about this ultimately I saw this as an opportunity to meet with a person you
know a person who could see eye-to-eye with me with me
relate on some level and it's very very dark it's very evil perhaps there's
nobody else I could talk to about this table about decapitating people he had
he ever approached me at a time when I was at my worst
okay and so he became my friend slash surrogate father it just that's fate I
mean it's destiny I don't know what else to say if you watched our Natural Born
Killers the movie you know you just look into it and it's interesting how you use
the word surrogates a while ago we were having a small talk and you also use
that word so how how does do you how do you relate to him you relate to a
message a father and and what will make you choose that working relationship to
describe using those what disease it's interesting because people may say I
have daddy issues I have mother issues but I never had a
real father figure I really have been desperately looking for that the closest
I've come to Manuel Jerry and he betrayed me so desperately scrambling
for some something somebody and here King Arthur sharp Ross yes you a serial
killer he's a compass he came to you as a father like how do you see myself are
difficult because he say something to me with respect
okay okay dreaming which is something was never offered to us i right so he
summer he respected yeah he never talked down to me never treated me like garbage
never condescending just treating like a human being I never experienced that
before and so people make are like dr. Phillip self called him and ate hole
before you look you don't know the nature of the relationship okay this guy
was my best friend for years I don't care what anybody else says you know oh
what you want but he's my best friend okay and and what what does it do or
what does he say - for you to feel that comfortable obviously like you know the
people who doesn't know him would certainly see it will be like will be
they look at amazing discomfort just look it's a mindset of deviance just
grasping for something that you know good perceive as deviance okay you know
you don't know which direction to turn it's not something he said in his letter
that makes you automatically feel comfortable comfortable forward in a
very close relationship we saw eye-to-eye with them on how you know I
would say collect human beings so far as look humans betrayed they stab each
other in the back okay he got that he got Jeffrey Dahmer you got the reason
why you would collect people and fear being alone yeah absolutely loneliness
and the betrayal you constantly dealing with betrayal in this so-called society
and he is one of the few people yeah it's a fear being alone being betrayed
normal fears but going to the extreme rectifying that it's an extreme measure
clearly you know there's no doubt about that
and you know I I don't know what questions you may have in mind that so
solo came on when I'm answering weird yeah and then and then and then after
the first few letters what what kind of let's keep in a material where what kind
of things to you initially wanted to know from the
Mississauga's like like hi it's like I know what you're saying right is a very
valid question no I don't wanna know anything from him I just wanted a friend
who understood what I understood which is why decapitate another human being to
do that but how do you do it and sleep well sociopath but they don't know me
and this thing and look I brought some very evil devious and deviant people so
I shocked Ross was my best friend what I was thinking
insofar as decapitating people in the state of thing like I lost sympathy for
Humanity okay if you want to know the truth I mean if you want to get dark and
do you see the same in mr. Cruz I think I'm a lot darker than Shawcross except
except you know apparently we have to take a three minute break and we'll be
right back after these messages alright welcome back to this episode of
our hypnotist Bernice exposition we're continuing our discussion with John Fay
yeah the author of the book Shawcross letter and his sister who is helping us
out with this discussion yeah so earlier before we went on the break we talked
about how you see a lot of yourself in mr. Sharples maybe I feel like just a
narrator expand on maybe you can tell us 10 this
right let's pretend the summer of 2001 July okay you have a gut full of
painkillers right and you know there's a particular streetwalker we would call
prostitute world angles particular streets and you have a bag in your
pocket hoping to meet this woman because you want to trigger head back home with
you now let's pretend that actually happened okay and then now some
douchebag comes along and tries to rob you with gunpoint literally with a gun
and you happen to have some meats on you actually message you will plan up this
son of a bitch I'm stalking a prostitute hypothetically this bastard comes along
with a pistol empty your pockets screw you pal I'm not that shit I'm sorry oh
whatever and so I covered his eyes I blinded him
hypothetically I hear that tires squealing oh yeah yeah
so that messed up my whole plan to meet up prostitute and so basically that
screwed me up for the rest of my time I mean that screw up the rhythm you know
and I kind of became almost same after that it's like you would you senses it
away something but that was like I feel like fate really like fate there was
something telling you that that wasn't the director that wasn't the right
choice should be going on right and at the same time I screw up this Punk
course not mess good which is good so it worked out so everything worked out and
okay doesn't rains tea by the way so okay that's progressive the book right
so as you as you continue to correspond between you and mr. chakras how do you
see yourself change as a person look change it just reassurance look it did
not change it just assured me that what I was doing was right in a strange way
it made you feel good to be able to relate to somebody right yeah little
like control like whatever thoughts you had or whatever urges it's nice to be
able to relate to somebody in a sense and talk to somebody you know feel like
you're a spiritual side have metamorphosize into a different person
yeah I have definitely developed as a human being yeah okay you know I feel I
needed to go through these experiences to develop myself I think that's part of
nature the only thing is people would consider me evil in somebody's lurches
who would answer that were they doing what they I'm a
caricature for any of my reviews I guess like the YouTube comments I'm saying
those who like in the New York Daily News that's right who call me I wanna be
serial killer I don't want to be a serial talk to me yeah I don't be a
whole different kind of book I don't want to be that I really want to get
away from is there any one thing or a series of thing that research our coasts
that have changed the way you see yourself it's only the main thing look
it was such a dark relationship but the thing is to be good or be good at it and
I continue to say okay and you could perceive that that's the advice used to
get be good at be good at it yeah I guess it's kind of good advice for
anything I think I've seen now it until basically like it had to do with your
childhood but it also like led up to your correspondence with this guy that
helped to kind of alleviate like kind of acted all this as a coping mechanism in
a way there is a related exhibits what it has to do with like his child
exorcise the boogeyman as they say to purge the boogeyman and I have leads
into this correspond exactly with the serial killer yeah does touch based a
lot on his childhood
look horrendous childhood okay we dealt with perverse and degenerates okay and
we came out on top
dr. Phil show many people do that that's not bragging it just is what it is I was
trying to avoid that right oh yeah oh yes so how did you of the city of Boston
okay yeah and I got tired of being caught up in that this this situation
where you're considered a nobody or no one and no one may ever talent to
be something better okay was the perfect night actually
perfectly I said look Satan we're gonna do this now or never at once I'll give
you anything you want like he no he's from none of these people were
contacting me until the night I made this deal I said look I'll give it up to
you just giving his contract let me have this contract the next morning this came
through my email the contract that was with Brian white wire blue publish our
impression is that coincidence there are other things that were I swear I made
another deal we're suddenly like monthly getting 5050 to getting 8020 exact same
with dr. Phil did it was the producer where the producers in touch with video
co-author that's what I'm saying Brian Whitney is that how like how did
we get all right do you know I'm saying well yeah yeah I knew one
okay I sold my soul that's what I did well there you have a publishing
industry nothing by their hoes by saying that we're never gonna go for the
publishing they interviewed me for like a week so they have to decide and they
have to pitch this idea to dr. Phil before you can even look good you have
to send video isn't going to do interviews so like it's a process
there's no magical contact so so he contacted the publisher yeah yes okay so
his people know your people yeah
so come something more fun so what was it like to be a doctor fuchsia it was
fun it was a fun experience honestly like I honestly thought it was
at first I was wicked stressed I was super stressed and then I was super
stressed about it but really and one once it came down to it I was glad
because I was first at first hesitant about going on the show okay because I
was intimidated by dr. Phil I didn't know what to expect I was nervous about
it I've seen how he is but he was actually very good very very don't see
Pocoyo that deserved it he was really good exactly that's what I think yeah
he's right he was really like great and he was so professional and he was like
not unreasonable at all right you know he was really good to deal with and like
I honestly it was so nervous but everybody liked all the people who had
worked on the show all the producers were like so great to work with I think
can I turn it to John are they asking the right questions how was the
interview okay okay go go back go back to you of my question because you think
that doctors who asked you or portrayed you and in the way that I thank dr. Phil
was extremely nice where I think you know but I was restricted I think is
very good he couldn't say what he would have liked to have said and I could see
that when I looked at his eyes let's not put dr. Phil's reputation on here but
like let's just pretend you're you were there and then and then and what about
you English I'm saying good things about know look it's not not his fault things
that weren't said he was actually very kind to me
so first let me ask you again do you think that so this show is coming at the
end of August and we can all watch tyah right and and you think a that he
portrayed you in the right way did I ask you the right questions yeah yeah
perfectly okay and to supplement that is there if if
there's something that though you start something that dr. feel you wish top of
the world ask you well are you a human being I mean the thing is I'm perceived
as a sociopath across America even at the end of it he did do you feel that
publishing this book have negatively impacted your I don't think so so what
else would you wish doctor to have asked where do you think this is going well I
have many what where do you think this book at this correspondence between you
and mr. sharp where do you think this look it's it's Luke it's a free market
you've been right yes but but remember I was asking you what how much percentage
like you would send him when you sold his items
yeah on ebay you would say them just a money water just as if he was sending
any prisoner money so like a horse at a joke what he got but yeah yeah I'm
concerned a very dark and evil character I like mostly spend my life good you say
that's so far dripping it's cool yeah you could have book deal but sitting in
Rome no gaming the only woman I love is the next prostitute
well I mean you know do you see yourself doing in I love the Hollywood Life I
mean I know a lot of people say bad things about it but I love it I was
there my sister what what kind what kind of right in with you voice you know
tonight I would be someone who'd love like a Friday the 13th take but it's a
low level is considered a low level but I just I love that just anything related
to fry up 13th or right what do you think yeah one of my table Randy I mean
you are obviously a power you are so you know what I mean so that's the type of
stuff that you write this is like horror science fiction horror sight
those films help you help you help me
and do you feel you have what do you think is the most special that you have
to offer that other writer doesn't have realism realism my own personal
first-hand experience Jen that's been I am another beyond Jeffrey Dahmer to be a
writer because the writing is actually a very healthy outlet it's a good coping
skill a very healthy outlet for creativity and for coping and just to
express your emotions in a milky way and that's something I learned in psychology
the FBI is dying for somebody like me
you know it's miserable to live with but you actually we come from an evil father
very evil so I'm a writer I can understand like you know what I mean
when you think and answer summary you know flesh it up further for you so to
speak I mean basically look this gets so evil
I don't know what else to tell you you feel you have a hard time dealing with
this evilness yeah every single day sitting in dark room a very dark room
this makes a very dark music will say and consider too many teachers take
something for me you don't think anyone in that word if you want to know I
passed it in a sense I world but insofar as being in this world don't you feel
that you know me and gentlemen agree on don't you feel that fates is conspiring
to help you move brighter it's available and all the evidence are suggesting that
the positive things are happening but do you feel that you know do you feel that
you can connect to something I'm with you on I get you we
all have an oxide and we all it's not just a dark side yes look we all have a
shadow we can't extract ourselves from our
shadow but I think Humanity is screwed and I really liked it they make better
home decor than they do as friends or fools you know a few why if you want the
truth people wanting to hear in there yeah what I'm just saying sometimes you
just tend to gravitate to those people is that a different interview but well
there are good people but know this let's say if they capture me yeah eight
years now and you know you'll remember this interview I say if you add more to
it that's fine look I like Bernie and I like you obviously I love you and just
say look a best friend of 20 years right put a steak knife through my hand right
and allegedly a stepping back a couple years later how that case was dismissed
do I feel bad about allegedly stabbing him no I felt the best they were this is
before or after the and well you know right in a long time okay look Shawcross
is incidental but what I'm saying is but moving forward where do you think you
can channel best journals this energy that you have like you want to channel
the energy I don't know
but there are a lot of talented writers who like that being said look if you
want insight into a Jeffrey Dahmer so we have about like two more minutes if
there's anything that you want to say to other people who could read your book
insight into those people who kill and collect other people I'm the one to read
you know this is the stuff I've been doing for years you know you read that
however you want I've been in a lot of streets for years so I would say like if
you end to true crime like criminal psychology or serial killers and wanna
know like in depth about okay I started to cut you off but I also think that
it's there's a lot to be taught on how do you make that deal with the devil you
know that is interesting look the deal is there for you if you want to take it
you take it unfortunately you still art of the deal
I'm not saying whose picture was on like I say I offered my soul or the next day
the contractors there do you feel that is a big part of like this abyss it was
thinking about that night again do you go from going from nowhere
well you know I don't want to to step on what you were thinking but when you ask
how else maybe your talent your talent exactly overnight like literally fit
yeah but when you the tipping point yeah work you know if
you move far far enough you know you know literally okay ten seconds
literally overnight literally overnight yep I'm not talking about metaphorically
no all right so on that note this is hemant is bernie join us next week on
CCTV channel 9 Cambridge thank you for coming down
thank you for coming John alright just yes Smith next week
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