Hey everyone.
So today, the day this video is going live, I'm going to be on my way to San Francisco
in preparation for my facial feminization surgery, or FFS for short.
I debated if I should make this video for a long time.
My desire to share my personal life online has dwindled a lot in recent months, and I
almost just wanted to disappear for a couple weeks, come back with a noticeably different
face, and just not address it.
Lots of things about my personal life are easy to just not mention.
I don't talk about a lot of things online.
But FFS is a bit harder to hide, since my face is in every single one of my videos.
I'm also going to be in San Francisco for two weeks with my girlfriend, and I wanted
to be able to vlog and Snapchat that experience.
So, okay, let me rewind because to understand this decision, I need to give you some backstory
about my time on YouTube.
When I first started making videos, my goal wasn't to be the anti-feminist punching
bag that I am today.
I didn't really make social justice videos even.
I made videos about books and wanted to talk about my life.
I saw that there were communities of smaller YouTubers and I wanted to be a part of that.
Eventually, just because I'm a really opinionated person, I started making videos about my opinions.
Thanks to Everyday Feminism promoting them, those garnered a lot more views than I ever
thought possible.
Of course, with more positive attention came the start of negative attention as well, but
it was tolerable.
The occasional comment attacking my appearance, vaguely-worded death threats in my DMs, one
or two boring response videos.
It wasn't so bad.
I knew that putting myself online would open me up to that sort of thing.
So of course it got under my skin, but it wasn't constant.
It was manageable.
So I still felt like my channel was small enough, and I was unimportant enough, that
I could continue to share my personal life with the world.
I had a mostly positive community supporting me, and I wanted to continue doing the thing
I had always planned to do with my channel -- talk about my life.
But, I want to be clear about something.
I never wanted to talk about being trans on my channel.
In fact, I started my channel before I had even come out to my family or most of my friends.
I was still figuring out my own identity at the time and wasn't completely sure that
I was trans.
So my vision for my channel was never to be a transgender YouTuber documenting my transition.
It was just a place to talk about stuff and find community.
I'm not sure if you're aware, but there are a lot of amazing trans YouTubers out there
who do talk about their transition and document that on their various channels.
I've watched probably every single transition timeline video on YouTube, every 6-month hormone
update, every FFS recovery vlog -- I think those kinds of videos are invaluable.
I needed those videos to figure out who I was, and I know that other trans people rely
on those videos for the same reason.
So huge shout to all the trans YouTubers out there who are brave enough to document their
transition online like that.
But, my goal was never to be one of those channels.
I think they're important and I appreciate them, but that's not what I wanted my channel to be.
And that doesn't make me better than them in anyway, it just means I had a different
vision for my channel.
One thing that I think is extremely important in normalizing queer people is having prominent
queer people in the media just living their lives.
It's great when trans people are out fighting for trans rights and educating people about
trans issues -- but we're not all activists, and we shouldn't have to be.
The media often focuses on the stories of queer people only when those stories are centered
around their queerness.
So you'll probably only see queer people in a movie if they're dealing with coming
out or transitioning or something.
But I want to see more queer people just fucking doing shit that's completely unrelated to being queer.
A coming out story may be important but it is not the only important story that queer
people have to tell.
Queer people are doing amazing important things in the world that have nothing to do with being queer.
Being trans, for me, is not the most important part of my identity, and many other queer
people feel the same way.
But when the world is focused on our queerness, we're rarely allowed to be anything else.
So I think it's important to just have queer people in the media doing their thing.
I want young queer kids to have people to look up to.
I want there to be queer news reporters, queer chefs, queer YouTubers, queer CEOs, queer
politicians -- you know?
Like, when they're not coming out or transitioning, queer people have jobs and family and friends
and opinions and they contribute things to the world that have nothing to do with their
queerness.
And it's important for people to see that queer people are diverse and don't only
exist as coming out stories or transition stories.
So part of my goal with my YouTube channel now that I have come out is just to exist
as a visible trans person on the internet.
I want people to see that trans people are more than just their transition story.
I want young closeted trans kids to see me and realize that those weird feelings they
have about gender are okay.
I want them to know that coming out won't mean that their entire life has to revolve
around being trans.
I want cisgender people to see me and realize that maybe the stereotype of trans people
they have in their head is inaccurate.
I want to talk about politics and social justice and TV shows, and I want to make silly videos
with my girlfriend.
I want to show everyone that trans people can find happy, healthy relationships.
I just want to exist.
I want to be a person on the internet who also happens to be trans.
Of course, sometimes I'm going to talk about trans issues anyway -- because those things
affect me on a daily basis.
I'm not going to be ashamed of being trans and I'm not going to try to hide it.
I deal with a lot of shit just for being trans, and I know a lot of trans people have it wayyyy
worse than me -- so I'm gonna talk about it sometimes.
And as my YouTube channel grew, I started to realize how massively uneducated most people
are about trans issues.
Like, I don't think most people actively and intentionally hate trans people -- I think
most people are just uninformed.
So the solution to that, I think, is to educate them.
So I made more and more videos about trans issues, explaining things calmly and citing
all my sources, hoping to get people to just think about this stuff.
At the same time, the harassment I was receiving was getting worse and worse.
It became constant -- tweets, messages, emails all day every day insulting my appearance
and my intelligence and misgendering me and telling me to kill myself -- it was too much.
So I started sharing less about my personal life online.
I talked about trans people as a distant concept instead of talking about my own personal experiences.
I thought that if I didn't give people the ammo to talk about my personal life, they wouldn't.
I could not have been more wrong.
The reaction from people was largely to pry even further into my personal life.
In fact, people started making assumptions about my private life that were just entirely untrue.
So I shut off even further.
I refused to talk about my transition online at all, whereas I used to casually mention it.
And people just kept speculating.
Entire communities sprung up around hating me and discussing how I'm not really a "True Trans".
It was and still is very obsessive and creepy to me, honestly
But I got to this point where I was determined to not talk about my personal life or my transition at all.
These people who vehemently hate me and make videos misgendering me and insulting me and
making assumptions about my personal life -- they feel entitled to information about my personal life.
But I don't owe them that.
I don't owe anyone that.
What happens in my personal life is nobody's business but my own.
What medications I take, what surgeries I have, what steps I take to transition -- all
of that is my business and nobody else is entitled to that -- especially not strangers
on the internet.
I have every right to keep all of that information to myself.
And so when it came to FFS, even after I scheduled the date, I still didn't want to talk about my transition.
I could just let people continue to speculate.
I didn't have any obligation to address it.
But eventually I decided that I wanted to.
Like I said earlier, I just didn't want to disappear for two weeks and act like nothing happened.
Omitting things from my online life is easy.
I do a lot of things in my day-to-day life that I don't tweet about or make videos about.
But a big surgery like this where I have to go stay in San Francisco for two weeks felt
too major to leave out.
I want to be able to talk about my life online, and I'm not going to let some assholes on
the internet take that from me.
But I'm also not going to document the entire process or give you details about it or answer
questions about it.
For me, this is a very personal thing, and I don't want to share it with the world.
I'm asking all of you to please respect that.
The reason I really hate talking about this, though, is because several large YouTubers
have been peddling the myth that I'm not really trans for well over a year now.
They say I'm not a True Trans because they claim I'm not taking any steps to transition
-- like not taking hormones and not having surgeries.
But the thing is, those things are not requirements to being trans.
Trans people do not have to prove their "transness" by being prescribed hormones or by having surgery.
And I refuse to play into those rules.
FFS does not make someone trans.
Hormones do not make someone trans.
If you're cis and have surgery or take hormones, you're still cis!
A trans person is trans because they experience their gender as something different than what
they were assigned at birth.
Trans people who don't have access to hormones or surgery are still 100% trans.
Trans people who can't or don't want to take hormones are still trans.
Trans people who can't afford or don't want surgery are still trans.
Being trans is not defined by hormones or surgery.
Surgeries and hormones do not change your gender identity.
External things like that do not affect your internal sense of your gender, which is what being trans is.
So I don't want this to come across as me trying to prove that I'm a Good Trans now.
I will be just as trans after FFS as I was before FFS, and I refuse to throw other trans
people under the bus just because they don't take hormones or haven't had surgery or don't "pass."
Because I think that's a really gross way of gatekeeping who's allowed in the trans community.
Who is the judge of who is "really trans"?
Because that's a pretty big responsibility.
We'd have to set up a whole bureaucratic system for trans people to apply for True Trans status,
and we'd have to collectively agree on the criteria for someone being classified as a
Real Trans Person.
But the reality is that no matter what criteria you come up with, it'd be bullshit.
If a person feels that they're trans, they're trans.
Just like how if a person feels that they're cisgender or straight or gay or bisexual,
we should just believe them.
We don't need to constantly test everyone's identity and make them prove who they are.
All that does is force trans people to stay in the closet because they're afraid of not
being taken seriously if they come out.
You don't become trans when the doctor signs a prescription for hormone replacement therapy.
You don't become trans when a doctor removes some bone from your face or surgically alters your genitals.
You don't become trans when a judge allows you to change your name.
And you don't become trans the first time someone perceives you as a gender other than
the one you were assigned at birth.
The paradox these people don't seem to be able to see is that they're saying you have
to fully know you're trans before seeking hormones and surgery, but you're not actually
trans until you've gotten those things.
So they're saying being trans is a choice.
That people choose to do these things and "become" trans.
But being trans is not a choice any more than being cis is a choice.
Gender identity is largely innate.
It's psychological and mental and biological.
It's not something that you can change with therapy or by trying to shove it away and
not think about it.
Sometimes it can be fluid and changing, but even then it's not because someone made a
conscious choice to change it.
So when someone says they're trans and you say you don't believe them, you're claiming
that you know what's going on inside their mind better than they do -- and that's ridiculous.
Is it possible that they're lying?
Sure, I guess.
But people could really be lying about anything -- that doesn't mean we should constantly
interrogate everyone over their identity.
Cisgender people could be lying about their gender, but nobody is intensely questioning
them and demanding that they prove they're not actually secretly trans.
If someone says they like cats, you shouldn't insist that they're lying until they provide
photographic evidence of them petting their cat.
If someone says they don't like pickles, you don't demand they eat a pickle in front of
you so that you can judge their reaction.
You just have to accept that you'll never be able to prove some things about people.
Yes, that person could be faking liking cats.
Yes, they could be faking a dislike of pickles.
Yes, they could be faking being trans.
But they're probably not, and by assuming that they're faking, you're telling all the
closeted trans people out there that they shouldn't come out because no one will believe them anyway.
If my options were between 1) making trans people feel comfortable and safe while maybe
sometimes having the rare case of someone pretending to be trans, or 2) creating a culture
of mistrust towards trans people while misgendering tons of trans people and maybe occasionally
calling out the rare cis person pretending to be trans, I'd absolutely choose the former.
And all of that being said, I don't think that cis people pretending to be trans is
nearly as big of a problem as these people make it out to be.
Cis people aren't afforded any additional benefits by pretending to be trans, so the
incentive for them to do that is very low.
I mean, the word that these people use to describe folks who they think are faking being
trans is "transtrender."
I've been called a transtrender thousands of times, and not just by random commenters
but by large YouTubers.
"Transtrender" makes it sound like being trans is some cool trend, but it's not.
It's just someone's gender.
If it seems like more and more people are coming out as trans nowadays, that's only
because there's more visibility for trans people than there used to be.
There's a ton of great information available for free online today that wasn't available
to closeted trans people just 20 years ago.
People who would've previously suppressed their gender are feeling empowered to come
out -- and that's great!
But it doesn't mean more people are becoming trans or that being trans is cool.
It just means that more people are able to come out because they have access to information
about being trans and they feel safe enough in their environment to do so.
I hate the word transtrender a lot.
It's super transphobic to tell trans people that they're not really trans.
These people often say that these "transtrenders" just need to get help and a therapist could
help them realize that they're not really trans.
But, uh, that's conversion therapy.
That's telling a trans person that they're not really trans, and a therapist can "fix" them.
It's a similar thing to when straight people advocate for putting gay or bisexual people
through conversion therapy.
You might not believe that a certain person is trans, but people who advocate for gay
conversion therapy also don't believe that the person is gay.
In fact, I think there are a lot of other similarities between how people react to trans
people and how they react to gay people.
Like, for a long time, there was a search for a "gay gene".
People wanted to prove that being gay wasn't a choice because everyone was saying it was
a choice, and they wanted to prove them wrong.
But nobody has ever found a "gay gene".
Does that mean being gay is a choice?
Of course not.
But it means that the way that our bodies experience sexual and romantic attraction
are complex and probably can't be reduced down to one gene.
If someone says they're gay, we should just believe them!
And it's the same thing for trans people.
Is there a genetic or biological basis to being trans?
Of course.
That's why across different cultures, across different time periods, there have always
been people who deviated from the gender they were assigned at birth.
Trans people are saying that they experience gender in a particular way, just like how
gay people say that they experience sexual or romantic attraction in a certain way.
But I don't think we're ever going to find a "trans gene" because humans are
too complex for the entirety of gender to be distilled down into one gene or one part
of the brain.
In fact, I've actually done a whole video about the research on brain differences between
trans people and cis people if you're curious about that.
But basically you're never going to be able to test someone's brain and know with 100%
certainty what gender they are because we still don't understand so much about the brain.
Another similarity between being trans and being gay that I've seen is connecting it
to being a mental illness.
The DSM is the Diagnostic Statistic Manual used by the American Psychiatric Association
for categorizing mental illnesses and disorders.
Homosexuality was listed in the first and second editions of this book, but was removed
in 1973 and didn't appear in the third edition.
So, just because something is or was in the DSM, doesn't necessarily mean it should
continue to be there in the future.
When something new and different is presented to people, they're often afraid of it and
want to demonize it.
In the case of homosexuality, they did that by treating it as a mental illness.
Eventually, after plenty of research, they decided that that was misguided and that homosexuality
was just another way that some people are.
Similarly, Gender Identity Disorder was introduced in the DSM-3 to diagnose trans people with a mental illness.
It stuck around in the fourth edition but was removed in the fifth edition, and Gender
Dysphoria was added.
That change was very intentional.
It was meant to depathologize being trans while still allowing trans people to get the
clinical treatment they need if they experience strong feelings of incongruence with the gender
they were assigned at birth.
But officially, in the DSM-5, being trans is not a mental disorder.
Gender dysphoria and being trans are different things.
Being trans is identifying with a gender that is not the one you were assigned on birth.
Gender dysphoria is specifically the feeling of distress caused by your gender not matching
the one you were assigned at birth.
There are two main types: body dysphoria and social dysphoria.
Body dysphoria is what most people have heard of.
It's feeling distress over the gendered aspects of your body like your genitals or
secondary sex characteristics.
Social dysphoria is less well known but is still definitely a form of a gender dysphoria.
This is when you feel distress when people refer to you as the gender you were assigned
at birth, and you feel euphoric when people refer to you as your correct gender.
This can take the form of stuff like pronouns, words like sir or ma'am,
or the use of gender-segregated bathrooms.
While most trans people experience some feelings of gender dysphoria, the intensity at which
they feel different kinds of dysphoria can vary widely.
Like some people might have mild gender dysphoria that doesn't interfere much with their day-to-day
life but is still definitely present, while others might have such severe gender dysphoria
that it spirals into depression or self-harm if not treated.
So for some people, gender dysphoria is a mental illness.
It can be something that affects your day-to-day life to the point that you need medical intervention
in the form of hormones or surgery.
But for others it's just another way of existing; it's just a different way that
their mind works.
I don't think it's right to just categorize everything you don't understand or haven't
experienced as a mental illness or disorder.
Some people just experience the world differently than you, and that's okay!
Being trans doesn't necessarily make you mentally ill.
Like I hear people conflate gender dysphoria and being trans all the time, but the two
have different definitions and are very different things.
Like, even if you transition and alleviate all your feelings of gender dysphoria, you'll
still be trans.
Being transgender is just a part of you -- it's a description of your gender.
But gender dysphoria is something in your mind that can get better or worse depending
on how it's handled.
If you want to learn more about this, I've actually done a whole video on why being trans
is not a mental illness.
Okay, so I went on a little tangent there, but the point of all of this is just to say
that we need to believe people.
I don't like the idea of living in a society where we all need to submit proof of our sexual
orientation and gender and likes and dislikes and everything else.
At some point you should just trust people to tell you their own personal experience
of the world.
My gender is not an accusation -- this isn't like a cisgender until proven transgender
court of law.
Nobody goes to jail if you believe that I'm trans or use the right pronouns for me.
It just shows a lack of respect for trans people when you don't believe them.
And I'm personally frustrated that so many people have refused to believe me for so long.
People have been making videos calling me a transtrender for like over a year at this
point.
And to my knowledge, none of them have ever genuinely apologized or showed any kind of
remorse.
But I predict that after this video, some of the people who once called me a transtrender
will change their minds, and some won't.
And that's because there's something else I want to tell you all, in addition to the
FFS thing.
So, a lot of people on the internet have made some pretty bold assertions about my private
life.
Several large YouTubers have been insistent that I'm not taking hormones.
Someone even said I "actively talk about" how I'm not taking hormones.
And those lies have spread pretty widely.
I get tweets and comments all the time that say, "How can you be trans if you're not
taking hormones?" or "How can you be trans if you don't have gender dysphoria?"
And every single time I've ever asked someone to give me a source for those claims, they
have failed to give me any kind of source.
I've asked people to give me specific timestamps of specific videos where I've said these
things, and no one has ever been able to do it.
I've noticed that even among people who like my videos and support me, a lot of them
will often assert that I'm not on hormone replacement therapy.
I guess it's true that if you repeat a lie often enough, people will believe it.
I mean there's a lot of research to show that if you tell someone a myth repeatedly,
they'll continue to believe it even when confronted with overwhelming evidence that
it was in fact a myth.
Which is partially why I think a lot of people simply won't believe me.
But the fact is, I am on hormone replacement therapy prescribed to me by my doctor.
I've been on it for about 10 or 11 months now.
And this entire time, I've been very careful not to talk about hormones online.
I told you how I stopped talking about my personal life, and this was a large part of
it.
I hated that people felt entitled to medical information about me.
The hormones that I'm prescribed are not any of your fucking business.
The only people who need to be concerned about my hormone usage are me and my doctor.
I've told my family and close friends about it, but I never talked about it on the internet.
And that also means I never said I wasn't taking hormones.
All these claims by other YouTubers that I haven't been on hormones were just completely
fabricated lies not based in anything I've ever said.
In fact, a couple months ago I got really worried about this.
I knew that I hadn't talked about hormones since I had started them, but I thought maybe
I had said something before that.
So I searched through my Twitter for any mentions of hormones or HRT, and I only found two tweets
where I talked about hormones in relation to myself.
One was from over a year ago, and I said I was planning on starting hormones as soon
as I moved back to the US.
The second one was also from over a year ago, and it was me saying that I was planning to
start HRT soon.
That's it.
Those are the only times I've ever tweeted about hormones or HRT in relation to myself.
And I was literally saying that I was planning to take hormones.
Anybody who took half a second to search through my Twitter could've found this information.
But I was confused, because these YouTubers were saying it with such confidence, as if
they knew it to be 100% true.
I thought for sure they had to have some kind of evidence.
So I went back and watched a bunch of my old videos.
Maybe I said something in one of those that could have been construed as not wanting to
take hormones.
Nope.
All I found was a video from a year ago on Milo Stewart's channel where I said I had
gender dysphoria and would probably be starting hormones soon.
Milo has since privated this video, but here's the clip I'm talking about.
For me personally, I feel dysphoric about some parts of me, and sometimes I feel comfortable about certain
things. Mostly I'm not that uncomfortable. Like I kinda like my body -- it's a cool body, does body things.
Um, and I don't think that should invalidate my experience -- like I still feel the same way. Um, even if
I have varying levels of dysphoria. And at first, I didn't think I was going to transition in any, like, physical way.
As time went on, I kinda -- I wanted that more. So I think I'm going to be starting hormones. Um, I don't know
about surgeries or anything like that yet. Um, it's all kinda up in the air for me.
I was shocked by this.
Like really really shocked.
I mean, I shouldn't have been.
I knew what I had been planning, I knew how I had felt.
But these YouTubers who've spent the last year of their lives spreading this lie about
me did such a good job that they had convinced me that at some point I said I wasn't going
to take hormones.
They gaslit me.
They made me believe that my own experiences and my own memories were inaccurate.
But I have proof from YouTube and Twitter that I'm right, and they're wrong.
They've been maliciously and intentionally spreading lies about me.
That video with Milo was one of the main ones that they attacked and mocked.
They knew I said in the video that I had gender dysphoria and would be taking hormones.
And yet, they still spread these lies about me.
So here's the truth: I came out in my last year of college.
After college, I really wanted to teach English abroad for a year.
But I also kinda wanted to start hormones, and I couldn't do that living in a foreign country.
So I told myself that I would probably be fine without hormones, and I left for France.
While I was living abroad, I slowly began to want hormones more and more.
Eventually, I made the decision that I would start hormones soon after getting back to the US.
And that's exactly what I did.
I don't regret living in France for a year at all.
I loved that experience, and I'm okay with the fact that I had to postpone going on hormones
for a year to do it.
It also gave me a lot of time to think about if going on hormones was really what I wanted.
There are a lot of side effects, and some of the changes are permanent, so you really
have to be 100% sure before you get started -- and before I went to France, I just wasn't 100% sure.
Today, I've coming up on my one-year-on-hormones anniversary.
I'm also coming up on my one-year-of-laser-hair-removal anniversary.
Honestly, all these people who have been screaming on YouTube about how I haven't transitioned
-- they honestly must not have been looking too closely at my videos.
I really haven't been hiding it.
Estrogen has cleared my skin up.
I have way less acne than I used to have when testosterone was in control.
My facial features have even softened up a bit.
I know that most of the time, I don't pass as female to strangers, but quite a few times
in public in the last few months, I've had people call me "Ma'am" or "Miss"
without me ever prompting them.
I'm actually planning to make a whole video about how passing isn't linear or binary
in the way that we normally think about it.
I even have boobs now!
They're small boobs, but they're definitely boobs made by the presence of estrogen in
my body -- and you can definitely see them in some of my videos.
Plus, like 10 sessions of laser hair removal has made the dark patch above my lip and on
my chin completely disappear.
I think these changes are pretty obvious, but I guess when you repeat a lie over and
over again, it's hard to see the truth -- even when it's literally right in front of you.
And people have even been claiming that I don't experience gender dysphoria.
Like I said earlier, not all trans people experience gender dysphoria.
For some, their sense of their gender being different from the one they were assigned
at birth doesn't give them enough distress to qualify as gender dysphoria.
I am not one of those people -- I just don't often talk about my dysphoria.
I definitely feel social dysphoria to a much higher degree than body dysphoria, but I still
definitely feel body dysphoria.
That's why I'm having FFS -- to alleviate some of the dysphoria that I have due to the
masculine aspects of my face.
And I think I've talked before about how I didn't realize I was trans until college.
Some people have jumped on that and misconstrued it to say that I wasn't trans until I got
to college, then I was brainwashed by the hippie liberal agenda and suddenly became trans.
That's a funny conspiracy theory, but it has no basis in reality.
I didn't become trans in college.
I didn't notice a cool trend and decide to hop on.
In fact, I didn't really have any other trans friends in college.
That was just the time in my life when I realized that I was trans.
I wish I had realized it sooner, but I didn't.
Sometimes people are gonna come out in college, and you can't just chalk all that up to
feminist brainwashing.
Discovering your identity as a trans person, admitting that to yourself, and then admitting
it to others -- that's hard. That takes time.
And if you go through that process during college, like I did, that's perfectly okay.
But like I said, even after all of this, I think there will still be people who will
say I'm a transtrender, who will say that I'm not really trans.
There's no way to please those people.
I mean, first they said I wasn't trans because I didn't change my name.
Then I changed my name, and surprise, they still didn't think I was trans.
But none of this is for them.
I changed my name because I wanted to.
Because I like the sound of Riley.
Almost a year later, I'm so happy with my name change.
I feel a million times better hearing my new name.
The name change was for me, and it was a great decision.
I'm taking hormones because I want to.
Because they make me feel good.
And I'm telling all of you about this now because I want to, not because I have to.
This is my body.
This is my life.
And my gender, my medical prescriptions, my personal transition -- this is all my business,
and not anybody else's.
I'm gonna get this all out in this video, and then I'm not going to talk about it again.
I mean, I might mention certain things every once in awhile, but I certainly don't plan
on making more videos about my transition.
Trans people don't have to be loud and vocal about their transition.
My transition is not my life, and my transition is a very personal private thing for me.
So mind your own business.
You're not entitled to any private information about me.
And if you're one of the people who has been misgendering me for the last year, and
now you feel kind of bad because I've actually been on hormones this whole time, I hope this
could be some kind of lesson that you shouldn't call anybody a transtrender.
You don't know what they're going through, and you don't need to know.
Leave people alone.
Call people by the pronouns they want to be called by.
Someone else's medical prescription should not dictate what pronouns you use for them.
Just treat people with respect.
I don't think that's asking a whole lot.
Apologize to the people who you've misgendered, and don't try to be a gatekeeper for who's
allowed to be trans.
If you suddenly have respect for me because I'm taking hormones, but you're gonna
turn around and misgender other trans people because they're not taking hormones, then
you can fuck right off.
I don't want your respect if it comes at the expense of other trans people.
Treat all trans people -- hormones or not, passing or not -- with respect.
You know, I bet a lot of people are even gonna say that their harassment and misgendering
of me was justified because they didn't know I was on hormones.
And that's beyond fucked up.
You shouldn't bully people into disclosing private medical information -- because that's
exactly what that is.
And I bet some people are gonna claim that I'm making this all up, but I'm not about
to show you my prescription bottles to try to prove something.
If you don't wanna believe me, don't believe me. That's fine.
I don't need strangers on the internet to believe me.
Even if I did show off a prescription bottle on camera, people would say it's fake or something.
There's really no way for me to win with people who are convinced that I'm not trans.
But I'm not trying to win with them.
The point of this video was just to talk to the people who support me, the people who
I've kept in the dark about this for a long time because I don't like the spotlight
that I've been put under.
I'm sorry that I haven't been speaking openly about my transition, but I hope that
you can understand why.
I wanna show other trans people that they don't have to publicize their transition to be valid.
If you want to keep it private, keep it private.
Nobody is entitled to that information.
So yeah, I guess that's everything.
I'm gonna be pre-recording some videos, so the next few videos on this channel will
be with my pre-FFS face, but in few weeks, you'll all get to see my post-FFS face,
which at first will be very bruised and swollen.
If you want to follow along before, during, and after my FFS, you can follow me on any
of my social medias, but you're probably better off following Fiona because she's
mainly going to be the one vlogging and snapchatting and tweeting about my surgery.
I'll put all of our social media links in the description.
This was a hard video for me to make, and I've been planning it for a long time.
If you somehow managed to watch this whole thing: thank you.
Come say hi in the comments, because I'm probably gonna have a lot of free time to
check comments while I'm recovering.
And remember, please respect trans people who don't pass, trans people who aren't
taking hormones, and trans people who haven't had surgery.
All trans people are deserving of your respect.
Not just the ones who look cis.
I love you all so much, and I hope you have a wonderful day.
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