Linking the science of the body to spirituality,
The saints have proclaimed that,
Those with a predominance of pitt get angry more often.
Those with pitt always carry a frown.
Seeing some faces, don't we say, 'Are you suffering from pitt?'
Because their irritation level is always a little high.
At the time of anger
Everyone knows what one should do
But the aspirant deliberates on what he should do before the anger arises.
At the time of anger, the state becomes very sensitive.
But, how to build an embankment before the anger rises?
It's not rising right now.
But once the embankment is built,
It may lie useless for nine years.
Nine times, that embankment may serve no purpose,
But the tenth time, when the floodwaters come in,
The embankment is a lifesaver.
So before it floods, build the embankment.
And the nine times that it served no purpose,
That too wasn't purposeless.
Because you could silence your doubts immediately,
'I have built the embankment, I am not worried if it floods.'
But if you hadn't, then each time you would worry.
So instead of thinking about what should be done at the time of anger
Don't seek counsel from me, you ask yourself.
'What should I do before anger?'
Anger has not been completely destroyed yet,
'But, what should I do when it arises?' You write your script right now.
The next time, when I get this thought, first, I will do this.'
Whatever comes to your mind, do that. Through trial and error.
Your intense inclination, that 'I will just not get angry even when anger arises.'
I will not get angry. That alone will save you, not your method.
You use breath control, you chant mantras,
You stay away from the cause, you stuff an orange in your mouth,
Count from 1 to 100,
Whatever you want to do.
At that time, resolve that you will express anger only after drinking coffee.
Even if you decide this much, it's ok.
Because whether you make the coffee yourself or go to Starbucks,
There you meet someone
And the whole thing gets diverted.
You can take up such enjoyable practices too!
Before you want to be angry, drink two cups of coffee.
And that too, it must be good coffee!
Just this much of a diversion and you can be free from anger.
It is that simple!
If you turn towards the Supreme, there is no question at all.
Then it will not erupt again at all.
But just a little... learn to postpone.
Our problem is that to perform good deeds, we look for auspicious times.
And the bad ones, we do them immediately.
It should be the exact opposite. Exact!
Why look for auspicious times
When does this devil get good feelings?
So why look for an auspicious time? Do it today itself!
Why do you need to look for an auspicious time for good deeds?
But I want to be angry.
Open the panchang (Hindu Calendar)
Those tithis (dates) where the swastika is drawn, which is an auspicious day.
Only on that auspicious day, you may get angry.
Say it's not auspicious for the next three days
How much you will benefit!
And if you postpone good deeds
In the meantime, if your feelings change,
Then how much will you lose!
Why then are you looking for good times?
For good deeds, don't look for auspicious times.
And bad deeds, which you need to postpone as much as possible,
You do them immediately!
You'll keep searching the calendar… For you'll need so many combinations…
By postponing, it will vanish.
When Gurdjieff's father was on his deathbed
What advice did he give?
'Whenever you have to react to any event,
Do it after 24 hours. Follow just this discipline.'
He gave neither knowledge, nor devotion, or meditation... no such instruction.
Because all these are to become non-reactive.
For that, do anything you need to for 24 hours.
But after 24 hours.
Say your anger arose today at 4.05,
At 4.05, the anger arose
When would you put it into action?
Ideally you shouldn't get angry at all.
Tomorrow afternoon at 4.05,
If you want to scold her, tell her or do whatever you want to
Or she may want to, whatever…
4.05 At least not for 24 hours
In the mean time, do whatever you want to.
But for 24 hours…
Just this instruction 'for 24 hours…'
He says, has made me so peaceful and non-reactive in my life.
Because when you get 24 hours to check
How you want to react
What you want to react
You stop reacting only
Right or wrong?
The best was Dale Carnegie.
I read his book long ago.
In that book, he has written this very nicely.
He had to give a talk on Lincoln,
On the radio. Carnegie had become very famous.
So he was called to the radio station to speak on Lincoln
So he gave a talk.
Immediately as a reaction to it, a lady wrote a letter saying,
'All that you have said is absolutely senseless.
Your information is wrong.
Whatever you said is not correct, etc.
People like you should not even go to the radio station.'
She wrote a strong letter.
Reading this letter, he was enraged.
And he replied.
But somehow it was too late at night.
He could not finish the letter and post it.
He thought, 'I'll write the final paragraph in the morning,
Sign it and send it'
Next day, after writing the last paragraph, as he was signing it,
He felt he should at least go through it once.
On reading it, he felt
'This is very reactive. Most of it is my anger,
And I haven't even written the actual information that I needed to write.
She blabbered, and now I have done the same.'
So he made a lot of changes.
With so many changes, he now felt that he should make a fresh copy.
'I don't have time now, I will do it at night.'
At night, when he started writing a fresh copy,
He felt 'From what she said some of it appears correct.
The other three are incorrect
But this one thing she has mentioned is right.
What you said about Lincoln in this sentence,
It is your opinion and you stated it as a fact!
This is correct. It didn't occur to me yesterday.
Because whatever was my opinion, I was considering it a reality,
And passing it on.
I'm glad I didn't post this letter.'
So once again he made changes.
He made so many changes that
He thought he would post it the next morning.
The fourth time, when he wrote the letter, he wrote,
'Lady! What you have said is 100% true.
And I must take care of these matters.
And a person like me whom people accept blindly thinking,
'This is Carnegie's lecture and has been broadcast from a radio station'
So he (Carnegie) should be far more careful.
He should clear his perspectives also.
If he gives facts, then he must also mention the source of those facts.'
In the fourth letter that he posted, he wrote 'thank you.'
And stated, "In six months I am visiting your town, to deliver a lecture.
And it is my earnest desire that you meet me."
Oh! The one you harboured hatred for,
Now, you are in the state of friendship towards that same person!
So what happened here?
He postponed!
And when he postponed, he could introspect.
And he became non-reactive in the whole thing.
Angry nature
Anger, if not controlled, becomes danger!
With just a 'd' in the front, what happens to anger?
It becomes danger!
How to keep anger under control?
The answer to this lies in the word anger itself:
A-N-G-E-R
A be Assertive
N be Non-violent
G be Goal-oriented
E be Ethical
R be Responsible
ANGER
A? Be assertive,
Let's say you are having a conversation,
which is turning towards argumentation.
There is a conversation going on between two people,
But from there, there is a slight…
Immediately remember
No, I have to be assertive!
I have to learn to listen to the other person's viewpoint.
However much you may be delayed.
'If I don't want to cause harm to my soul,
Then I have to be assertive.
I don't want to spoil my relationship.
Let me understand the other person's viewpoint.'
If you stay assertive and positive,
You may even be more convinced by his side of the story.
So A – Assertive
N – Non-violent
If you have already made a judgment that I want to put him down,
Then you are already violent.
That I have to defeat him, I have to prove him wrong.
Don't do it like this. Be non-violent.
We will talk it over and I will take sides with the one who is right.
Separate yourself from it.
Now, he is talking, and he is talking,
And I am the judge And whosoever appears right to me,
I will take that person's side. From being a lawyer, become a judge.
If you are a lawyer,
You will always be tempted to stick to your side.
But… be non-violent.
Don't be in a violent state right from the beginning.
Don't be argumentative, but listen.
Assertive, then... Non-violent then... Goal-oriented!
Finally, I am answering this one, or talking to this person,
But what is my goal?
Is it to help that person?
Then why am I arguing so much?
Or is my goal to put him down?
Be goal-oriented. Just don't be emotional.
He may have said, 'You are like this... you are very selfish.'
If he said something like this,
You become emotional, sentimental,
And you start reacting.
But what was your goal?
You went to him to maintain the friendship.
He just called you selfish,
And you immediately became emotional.
Don't be emotional! Be goal-oriented, result-oriented.
It is G here, so goal-oriented.
You want to convince him, right?
Then you have to be non-violent.
Be assertive.
Listen to him too.
Show him where he is wrong in his side of the story.
Then put forth your side of the story.
Then ask, 'Do you see anything wrong in this?'
In this manner, bring out a positive response from him.
What is your goal?
Is it to dictate?
Then just tell him, command him!
But you don't want to dictate him.
Your goal is to accomplish the task with friendliness.
So goal-oriented.
Then, E – be Ethical
While conversing, the moment you realise
That because I have said something, I am holding on to it,
Then you are being non-ethical.
The moment you have caught your mistake,
Just say 'Sorry, I completely forgot this point.'
Immediately, you must ask for forgiveness,
And know how to bend down too.
R - be Responsible
Be ready for exploration!
It is said that Leonardo Da Vinci has written that,
'I've made my best sculptures
when I was in the state of anger.'
Because the moment you get an angry thought,
You get excited. Do you realise?
Normally, you may be not able to do anything,
But in anger, you can pick up a chair and throw it.
Otherwise, your waist may not bend even a bit.
But in anger, you can carry so much weight,
Because at that time, you are excited,
And the moment I realise that I have become excited,
I take up my best work.
Now that so much energy has manifested,
Let me complete that work.
So when I see the energy being manifested,
When I see it created,
I immediately utilise it for something constructive,
And not for destruction.
In this way... whatever good sculptures I have made
They were created when I was in a state of anger,
And to divert from it,
I had taken the support,
They are from those times.'
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