As a kid, romantically, I wanted to become a painter -
to stand in the forest with an easel, and depict nature - very naive.
Also quite childish, since art didn't actually play a role in my childhood.
All the things that art is today; all its media - neither my parents nor I had any idea about that.
So "artist" always meant "painter"; with an easel and a palette - very romantic - and they depict the world.
That's what I wanted to be; that's what I wanted to sell and make a living from - that was my plan.
Then I understood that drawing is my focus and not painting; I tried graphics and later, when studying,
I understood that printmaking is my thing.
As a child I was fascinated by Moby Dick and tattooed people.
These were outlaws, criminals, thugs, drug addicts etc.
Sadly, with a very negative connotation. And then during my studies, while drawing my diploma pieces,
I understood: "I'm tattooing paper!"
Already back then I had the idea and wish that one day I'd do it:
to learn and see how it might work for me.
Years after having finished my diploma, when I moved from Vienna to Berlin, I finally started it.
Life is in constant motion - it has to, in order to be life.
But this also means that life includes constant decay.
Not just "death", and everything's over -
but "change": one thing stops, the next thing starts. That's how it always is.
But if you want to hold on to something, if something should last longer: "Why's the day already gone?"
"Why do we already have to go to bed again?"
Well - that's the rule here.
That's a tension.. I can't develop work that criticizes society or is political..
I can only deal with those naked poles: life, and death. And in between,
there's this gap. This space.
And that it happens in skin, actually makes it complete -
because this way it only exists for a certain time. People really live with it.
I like that: once they die, it's gone.
It's a different sort of permanence and presence. It's also a sort of waste - to live differently.
Artists want to create monumental sculptures or works of art
which outlast us - and that's totally fine: everything declines, but art stays;
but tattoos are time-dependent because there is an end. All of this,
including working live "into skin", is part of this "extreme" package.
During my years of studying (fine art) when I sat on a copper plate and used a needle
to draw into the etching ground - I always thought of the needle of a tattoo machine.
I was all rebellion and extremes - and both are still there.
I grew up in very complex ways, which resulted in a lot of energy, which
actually comes from a deep wound. For me there's nothing more extreme than to engrave
under pain, forever, in skin. That's an intense medium.
You change the body: transformation. Of people.
And this extreme responsibility -
"If the etching or print didn't work out, well then let's etch again and use the next plate" -
no. What I was looking for was: here and now, we have exactly one chance
that has to work out - and bye. And if this doesn't work, then you can't
renew the plate - that's the crazy thing. This.. this challenge was what I was looking for, I think.
Combined with a fascination and a FUCK YOU ALL.
I have to say it like that. That's my.. that's why it was always obvious that I
had to engage with outsiders - The people I got to know here - they were freaks.
Fully tattooed, fully pierced freaks. And I always liked that.
It doesn't follow any convention. It was a sub-culture, which expanded into a bubble, and now
everyone's getting tattoed. I was always rather introverted:
As artist you smoke & drink yourself to death, in your studio, and that's it -
noone ever knows you. That was still this romantic idea that I had. I was a chain smoker.
I left all this shit behind - this annihilating crap-shit. You don't need to swig and smoke like a chimney
to be a "cool artist" - that's idiocy.
After an appointment I always levitate like this.
Like someone who just played a concert - I first have to get down again.
How do I do this? Then family kicks in - that was very challenging and created lots of tension.
How do I find a balance between my job and the normal life: "Go grocery-shopping, there's no more toilet paper " - oh my.
But it all has to be. It's all part of the deal. But you first have to learn to accept this.
For me, aesthetics are the first important access code - not necessarily to an art work, but to an object, image etc.
How does it look like? Is it random and nothing, then I'll vomit and leave.
Does it have an aesthetics and does it speak to me and attract me - at first, aesthetic is a kind of philosophy of visuality.
Etchings, symmetries - why? It's obvious: because of aesthetics, of effects.
I researched symmetries intensely , and still do.
As a child, I worshipped the Volkswagen Beetle - specifically the "Brezelkäfer"
with its split rear window. Split rear window.
Two animal heads. It's all aesthetics, design, form. Porsche, Volkswagen -
symmetries in cars, both headlights equal, etc. This influenced and attracted me a lot, plus
asymmetry in nature - there's no perfect symmetry there, only in artificual situations -
and that became my topic. I think it'a also about completeness, perfection - which in turn
has a lot to do with aesthetics. I really wanted to tie this medium up to my past
and continue the aesthetic that I already had developed - but on skin.
Ultimately, it really was about establishing an aesthetics that works in tattoos -
not just "to tattoo" (previous designs) but to see whether it actually works.
And this of course involves images, symbols, signs and forms, and they have to be appealing -
to me. And that's how you can judge whether it's good and to be pursued, or bad and to be discarded.
I tried to work in light and dark, in "mother and father of all colors" - to express myself.
For me, this works best. I can enjoy color tattoos,
and think that they're awesome, but it's not my preferred medium or way of expression.
The various personalities and humans that you tattoo, they all emit energy -
it's always an exchange of energies. It's a very close situation, you're always
very close the the person, the client - since you engrave directly into a living body.
There's no shelter, no intimacy - you can't withdraw to produce the work to then show it -
but instead you have to produce while being watched by the client.
Thankfully you get experienced. The first tattoos were a nightmare.
I had such a headache afterwards - I thought if this stress doesn't stop,
I can't continue with this. You have to work towards something, and then you have to
establish your own relationship to your medium.
I think that's the same that a painter, photographer or performance artist has to learn:
to establish a relationship with what they're doing - which is only relevant to you and your medium;
other people won't ever know about this. But only through this relationship, which is
based on humbleness, carefulness and the idea of wanting to learn
from mistakes, and not to open one's trap too much - it's only through this that you can grow, get better
and learn to find trust. At first, the artistic, the creative aspect is very distant.
It's not about this: you make a star, you repair an old tattoo -
it's only about technique, the motive doesn't matter at all. The challenge is to transcend this
and to build up trust in yourself, and to develop a feeling for the medium
and get rid of this fear of failure: "Something went wrong".
"I won't make it". "Did I saddle myself with too much?"
You need to get a feeling for time; how long will I need for a hand-sized tattoo at this or that position?
Originally it took three times as long as today - so there are many things that cause stress and insecurities.
That's all because of you wanting to learn the medium. The next thing is your artistic demand, which at first needs to shut up -
because you just have to use all sorts of crappy motives to understand how to use the machine.
I had lots of ups and downs, inner struggles - on the one hand: I can't forever repeat making half heads!
but also: what else should I tattoo?
And then there are those who approach this more playfully and say
"That's nice", "That's quite cool", and who experiment - this leads to awesome works.
But I don't want what's "nice", checking out my options - I'd rather stay focused, with my magnifying glass -
because I know that ultimately, the topic won't change. Life would have to change drastically for me to only paint sunsets.
I had these phases where I thought that I needed something new - that the clients wanted to see new things.
But then you start focusing your stupid "likes" etc. I understand that - we're all humans,
so of course we have fears. Last year I though that I can't schedule another year - I'll go crazy.
Then taxes, and all of a sudden it's money, appointment, money, appointment -
where's your artistic development - it's gone.
But: I'm not through with it. I simply know that it's not done.
It's too much.. well.. "fun" would be an overstatement, but it's too important to simply stop.
I want to walk tiny, slow steps, stay within my subject matter and let changes come slowly.
This happens slowly and organically with me.
There are many things that I care about: my family, making tattoos, but also my empty space.
I don't define myself through the medium - like an artist having to be in the studio. Of course, you need to stick to something -
but it shouldn't define you. I don't feel guilty if I'm not in the studio every day -
I'm not a painter. These are quite weird ideas that evolved, but which have
to be challenged, after university: "Who am I actually?" and "What's best for my art?"
And ultimately, I don't know whether I need to leave something behind, something monumental
that survives a thousand years - maybe I'd rather stay very limited and selfish:
I want to nagivate life creatively - and that's it.
If you have some sort of impulse, the people close to you should support you: "Do it".
That's what should be conveyed to kids and young adults: "You'll make it! Trust yourself, and I'll believe in you."
Don't ask them "Oh God, how will that turn out! What will you do in New York City, in this metropolis?!"
Come on: everyone who's there, is New York City.
So don't be afraid: This is life - you'll always meet new people, and it continues.
You mustn't just see yourself - you have to realize that you're in a constant dialog with the world.
I didn't come to Berlin knowing that I'd become a tattoo artist, open my own studio, travel the world -
I never expected this. I didn't even have Instagram, Facebook etc.
Noone knew me, I was nobody, I simply was here. If you'd told me that it will evolve like this,
that I'd travel the world and work internationally - I'd have said: "Well ok - nice dream."
It's a fearlessness paired with a naive "fuck that" attitude - because what should I be afraid of?
What's this (safety in an) employment situation - even your employer is just a minor situation.
This safety that we all long for - it doesn't exist. Noone wants permanent stress, and it's not healthy either -
and self-employment means stress, but my personality simply developed like that.
This whole mix is what brought me here - but I 'm very aware, constantly aligning and adjusting.
I constantly maneuver my own doubts; up and down, oh God - and I see all this dirt;
another year of Instagram, another year of even more tattoos -
what kind of medium, what kind of community is this - horrible.
But I can say the same about fine art, about performing arts, about .. brewing beer:
Everyone's fucked. Everyone.
Once you understand that, then I thank God that I'm able to live independently, that I can generate enough income
to live here - without needing any support, without having to work for someone else...
That's the challenge: as young adult, when you still depend on so many things: on your studies,
on your parents that help with the rent. This makes it difficult to develop yourself.
But ultimately, I studied art - and of course people kept asking: "What do you want to live off, later on?"
Leave me alone with this idiotic question, else I can't study art! Art academy told us to become proper artists, personalities -
to exhibit in galleries like "Meyer Kainer", and establish your brand.
That was the one option they told us about - but that's not true.
Neither is that only 2% are successful, and everyone else has to wait tables - that's bullshit.
It's way more complex and diverse than we believe, that's why in my case,
I tattoo under the guise of fine arts - and thank God I don't need a gallery, no clinking glasses, nothing.
That's a very comfortable situation - it's a present.
But ultimately it's about creativity. What matters is that you live with it,
and are not in cramps and fears and needs, thinking you need to produce so you can sell -
that's all a fucking nightmare. I never envisioned what it meant to be self-employed;
wasn't I always working on my own? Even during my studies - it was me that had to do it.
So why be afraid of it all? Plus we're in Germany or Austria -
nothing bad will happen to you. Even if you're unemployed for a year; we always forget that:
this is a nest of feathers.
There are no fears - you simply have to dare, and really, that 's essential: you need the courage to do something.
That's where Berlin helped me a lot, because it was a neutral space. I could start again,
didn't know anyone, could reboot. In Vienna on the other hand
I had a 9 year history, knew everything, knew the art scene - it would have been quite difficult
to take that seed.. because I already had something.. which had to go.
I'm deeply grateful - if I die tomorrow, everything's OK.
That I can say - it's not that I'm at peace, and definitely not with the world.
The longer you're part of it, the more it hurts because it's even emptier than you already knew years ago.
That hurts.
It's uncontrollable.. It's a huge compactor -
we're here for a short time, and then we're gone. That's what's crazy.
What do we do with this time - that's the tension.
What completes you? What gives you inner peace?
Success? A Porsche Panamera?
When? When are you satisfied and know "life's good"?
What do you need for that? It's a complex question
because it can be a different thing every day.
So it's not about finding a job, it's about..
about finding your own way. About living.
We all grow older, and one day it's over.
For more infomation >> NHẠC SỐNG THÔN QUÊ 2018 - TRỮ TÌNH ĐẶC BIỆT THÔN QUÊ - BOLERO NHẠC VÀNG HAY NHẤT HIỆN NAY ! - Duration: 1:03:07. 
For more infomation >> Game Bầu Cua Tôm Cá Bịp Trên Điện Thoại Mới Nhất 2018 + 2019 - Duration: 6:11. 
For more infomation >> Support de mugs DIY en bois - Duration: 5:20. 
For more infomation >> УГАДАЙ ТОП 5 САМЫХ КРУТЫХ МОНСТРОВ - Duration: 6:44. 
For more infomation >> Ёжик открыл нож боуи!! Это вообще законно? Warface - Duration: 3:12. 
For more infomation >> Играем без проблем с коннектом | PUBG | без мата | 1440p60 - Duration: 3:51:08. 
For more infomation >> Writing Routines Tag [CC] - Duration: 8:19. 
For more infomation >> Миф про деньги № 1 Деньги — зло Убеждения про Деньги Привлечение Денег - Duration: 1:48. 
For more infomation >> 새로 나오는 기아 소울 디자인 - Duration: 2:03. 
Không có nhận xét nào:
Đăng nhận xét