(scratching, digital music)
Whoo, this is the fourth?
Yeah, fourth speaking video that I'm filming today,
and the deaf accent is coming out even more
'cause my throat hurts.
So, but actually, we're gonna talk about something
deaf-related, because right before I sat down
to film my videos, I actually got an email
that inspired this fourth speaking video.
And I got an email that said something along the lines of,
I'm sorry that you are deaf, and I feel very bad for you.
So we're gonna unpack why
stuff like that is just not really good to say,
especially, it's not good to send it
to somebody's business email, first. (laughs)
That's one thing, it's not good to send it
to somebody's business email, who uses a business email for
business, but also, just, I'm sorry that you are deaf
and I feel so bad for you, is just not good to say.
So I would like to make a disclaimer
that everybody feels differently,
this does not speak for every deaf person,
every disabled person.
This is my thoughts, my feelings, and the thoughts
and feelings of other people who have the same feelings.
So there are many of us deaf people
that are completely okay with being deaf,
and, of course, there are people who really hate being deaf.
Sometimes these are the people that were born deaf,
grew up deaf, and they may have either been, one,
mainstreamed, or two, grown up culturally deaf.
But I think, I think, I don't know,
that there's a less chance of hating being deaf
if you grew up in deaf culture,
because you grew up with a whole big family,
and all of that, so yeah.
But I think it mainly comes from, those who don't like
the hearing loss, or don't like being deaf,
come from the mainstream side of things,
where they don't have access to ASL,
or the sign language of their country,
and they never grew up in any sort of deaf culture,
they may be the only deaf person that they knew,
et cetera, et cetera.
I have experienced that in the past.
Before I was 20 years old, and finally finding out
that there was something out there,
more people that were like me,
I hated it, I hated it, I did.
But that was only because I was in a very country-like town,
with people that just didn't know what to do
with deaf people, wouldn't give 'em any jobs,
because they thought, oh, you can't do anything,
you are a liability, so no.
Schooling was out of the question, more than high school,
past high school schooling, higher education.
That can make a person feel inadequate, and that
has the chance of making people
hate being deaf or disabled.
But again, then you have people who may have grown up,
like me, mainstream, but at the end of the day,
maybe they still don't find deaf culture,
or ASL, or whatever.
Maybe they are very happy with the way they are,
maybe they have a hearing aid,
maybe they have cochlear implants, whatever,
and they're just fine, okay, cool.
And then you have, grown up mainstream, found deaf culture,
starts learning ASL, or sign language,
they're very, very happy, they feel better.
And then you have the fourth, or the third,
I've lost count now, fourth.
They either grew up with deaf parents,
or maybe they grew up in a hearing family,
but the hearing family did more research
and they weren't like, oh my God,
they're gonna fail in life, so we're,
but instead, they did their research,
and they put them in a deaf school,
put 'em in, say, they moved to
a place where there's a deaf community,
like Seattle or Washington, D.C.,
or somewhere in River-- is it Riverside?
No, Northridge, just in Los Angeles,
let's just say Los Angeles.
So places where there are strong deaf communities.
So they grew up, they flourish even more,
or whatever, and they're happy.
It's just, it's not a polite thing
to say.
Overall, it's just like, especially when,
if you're coming to someone who has expressed
time and time again that they're fine.
They may mention, in the past, that they were like,
oh no, but if they mention now that they're fine,
that they have no problems with it,
yes, sometimes it may be difficult, it may be hard,
there may be moments when we're just like,
wow, this sucks, but it's not because,
it's not necessarily, it could be, sometimes,
but it's not always necessarily because
the ears don't work properly.
It's because of the lack of accessibility in society.
So it's not because of the ears,
it's not because of the legs or the arms or whatever,
now we're kind of getting all general here
about disability and whatnot.
A lot of the time, it comes from the behavior
of people that are not the same as us.
It comes with the fact that there are no ramps,
there is no accessibility on the sidewalk,
no ASL interpreters, or captions,
and the plastic straw ban, and stuff like that.
And, of course, it's easier to say this type of thing
behind a keyboard, behind a computer screen.
I imagine that people probably
wouldn't go up to someone in person and say, I'm so sorry.
Actually, that is a lie, I've experienced it.
I do think that people would be less likely to do that,
but that does not mean that it has not happened.
I have experience, when I was out with my biological mother
and my biological mother is also deaf,
that's basically how, this is why I am,
and we were out at a kiosk, we were at the jewelry repair,
and she's also deaf, and he knew this,
because we were frequent, or she was a frequent customer,
and he looks at me, and he goes, oh, are you deaf too?
And I go, yeah.
And he goes, oh, I'm sorry.
And I'm like.
And it's not the first time it's happened.
If somebody, I'm trying to talk to somebody, and their
mouths are covered and whatnot, and I'm like, I'm deaf,
I'm gonna need you to not do that.
Then they're like, oh, I'm so sorry.
Of course, it could be because they didn't realize,
and it's like a reactionary, oh, I'm sorry,
'cause I've done that too.
I'm doing something awkward or not what I should be doing,
really, because it's not helping the other person.
Sometimes I'll be moving my hand out of the way
for whatever reason, I'm like, oh, sorry.
When you recognize it from the tone of the voice
or the facial expression.
You kind of can tell the difference.
Deaf people are good at this.
And disabled people, who can hear better, are good at this.
So we noticed when one is looking,
when one shows off the pity face,
or says it with a pity tone,
and the, I feel so bad for you, I'll pray for you
and your deafness, and whatever,
it's just rude.
First of all,
it gives off the feeling that you think that it's
a bad thing, and that there's something wrong with us,
when really, we could say, yeah,
our ears don't work too well,
which isn't necessarily the most positive thing,
but it's just, it's one thing when we say that
about ourselves, and crack jokes about ourselves,
and it's different when a random stranger
comes into your inbox, or in your personal space,
and says that kind of thing.
It's just, they're very different.
And even if you went up to a person who really didn't like
being disabled, or deaf, or whatever, and said that,
I still wouldn't recommend it, actually,
because it doesn't help. (laughs)
It doesn't help the situation at all.
But, especially, don't go up to someone at all.
It's like, you wouldn't go up to somebody,
or you shouldn't go up to somebody
and say something about their looks,
about what they're wearing, about what they're doing,
about what they sound like, or whatever.
It's just, it's rude.
If you have that kind of thought, please,
just keep it to yourself and don't project it out,
and say it to other people.
It's fine, I'm deaf.
I'm pretty much completely deaf in this ear,
basically, almost.
And I've got some hearing left,
it's getting worse by the day, but
it's not gonna bother me.
It doesn't, I go on about my daily life,
the same way I always have.
The only times I have problems with it
is when the behavior of abled society
is, basically,
making it like it's supposed to be a bad thing.
So not listening to me, or not accommodating me
when I'm asking them to write down on paper,
or type on my phone, or if I'm asking for interpreters
or captioners at events, or when there's no captions
on a video, that's when it becomes a problem,
but it's not because of me,
it's just because of the lack of accessibility in the world,
when there should be, because,
laws, most of them, most of it.
Some of 'em, some little itty-bitty things don't have laws,
so they can get away with it, unfortunately.
So that's all I have to say on the matter,
I'm sure there's a whole lot of videos like this,
probably some of my other disabled friends,
the other disabled YouTubers that you know,
will probably have similar videos.
If you have any experiences like this,
you're more than welcome to leave your stories
down in the comments below.
But after you do that, and before you go,
if you haven't considered being a pledge on Patreon,
I give you exclusive content like music playlists
on Spotify, and some writing that you won't see on Medium,
and pen pal letters, if you wanna go high enough.
And I will see you later, bye.
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