5 Effective Ways to Deal with Passive-Aggressive People.
Passive-aggressive people are deceitful in such a way that you hardly notice if you are
being praised or envied, they use sarcasm to win others.
Ever had an encounter with them?
Passive aggressive people with anger in disguise, express displeasure over certain things and
with the aim of getting away with it.
"You're being told what's happening isn't happening, and there's something
very withholding about the interaction.
You know something is going on, and he's denying it," explains Scott Wetzler Ph.D.,
author of Living with the Passive-Aggressive Man, and the vice chairman of the Department
of Psychiatry and Behavioral Sciences at Montefiore Medical Center.
Passive aggressive behavior is being used to express anger in different, yet deceitful
way.
Generally, they are not happy with you, but tend to challenge you with sugar-coated bitterness
in a way that will totally make you lost in the process of understanding their motive,
while they try to avoid direct conflict.
When confronted for the anger, they deny responsibility but already achieved their aim which is to
leave you in confusion.
Loriann Oberlin, MS, coauthor of Overcoming Passive-Aggression also added that, "A passive-aggressive
person is basically angry, but he or she is expressing anger in indirect ways".
In her remark, Monica A Frank Ph.D., explains some of the ways passive-aggressive people
do criticize:
"Oh, I hear you've managed to pull off another miracle."
The problem with these kinds of comments is that if you try to confront them about the
insult, you will be accused of not understanding, "I didn't mean it that way" or of misinterpreting,
"You must have a problem to think that I was just trying to compliment you.
Sorry I didn't word it right to suit you."
So, How do you deal with Passive-Aggressive People?
The following tips will help you interact with passive-aggressive people and never to
let them tarnish your image.
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#1 - Identify Passive-Aggressive pattern early.
It's easy to overlook or dismiss signs of passive-aggression in a relatively new relationship,
such as a dating prospect or social contact.
After all, most of us like to give people the benefit of the doubt, and prefer not to
have our guard up right away.
However, it could be dangerous if it keeps going on for a long time in your relationship.
So, it is better to identify a clear pattern of passive-aggressive behavior early.
That way, we can determine what type of relationship we want to have with this person.
Well, if you desire to keep a relationship at all, and make proactive choices with your
relational health and well-being as priorities.
#2 - Examine their Motive.
The very first approach in dealing with passive-aggressive people is to take time in examining their
motive, study the phenomenon and their repeated utterances.
You have to do this early enough in order not to fall for them permanently.
Do they do this to make you feel bad only or to gain themselves some points?
Wetzler projected that: "Once you recognize it's a sign of hostility, it emboldens you
to deal with it."
#3 - Seize their reward.
The only thing that makes passive-aggressive people wanting to do more, is your regular
response.
And that is where their reward lies.
Instead of giving them chance; cut short their expectations, by simply controlling your emotions
while staying calm and keeping your replies simple.
"The less reactive you are, the less fuel they have for their passive-aggression,"
says Oberlin.
#4 - Confront and be Assertive.
With calmness and while having your emotions checked,
approach the Passive agressive person and let the person know you totally dislike their
action and state the consequences the person stand to get if the scenario repeat itself.
Though, it will be hard to get passive-aggressive person to feel sorry for an action,
but, you can achieve this while taking the fellow in consideration too.
Don't be harsh!
Let the passive-aggressive person know the exact word or action that made you so angry,
and never flash back to previous ones which would only make total mess of your move.
#5 - Refuse to be manipulated.
It is a common terms of someone with passive aggresive behaviour.
You are greeted with an absolute silence and expected to be a mind reader and understand
their feelings, or what has gone wrong if there is at all.
Well, their intention maybe to manipulate you, they don't really want you to figure
the problem out and fix it.
They only want you to feel guilty about upsetting them without you actually knowing the reason.
You should note that it is important that you don't bite, try to be more realistic and
reflect to yourself.
If you feel that you did something wrong, then apologise and try to fix it if possible.
Otherwise, just so you know that, you can't fix a problem that you don't now exists.
By all means, refuse to feel guilty and be manipulated.
Instead, you should say that you are open to discussions and address any issues.
Well, those are some effective tips to deal with Passive-Aggressive People.
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