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we tend to base our self-esteem on what
other people think and that's not really
self-esteem self-esteem is supposed to
be how we feel about ourselves and I was
just saying how dangerous it is
to allow other people to determine how
you're going to feel about you and it's
kind of like looking into a broken
mirror you're gonna look in a broken
mirror and then change your face to try
to look good in this defiled busted
broken mirror and it just other people's
opinions is a really shitty way to
determine how we feel about ourselves
many things can contribute to our not
approving our dreams so I'm not feeling
good enough a lot of things can
contribute to that many of us never live
up to our potential or don't approve
ourselves because we've never had
anybody to believe in us looking at some
of the things that keep us from
approving ourselves that we've all done
some things and we don't feel good about
things that if we had to do those things
over again we would not do those things
or we would do things differently so
part of what we must do in order to
begin to move into your greatness you
got to remove a major energy block and
that is dealing with the issue of
forgiveness people that have hurt you
someone who's done you wrong make a list
and things that you have done that you
you feel bad about that you regret make
a list there may be a time when you
weren't a good father a good mother a
good brother or sister or you you were a
bad shallow you didn't do a good job or
you lied or you were just honest so you
stole no one knows this but you of
something you feel good about so you
know it's a real dog in me to do that
something you just really regret so we
make a list of all those things all of
us have some of that might say there's
some good in the war
and some bad in the best of us so none
of us escaped now here's something I
want you to do I want you to become
involved in an active process to get
some clutter out of your life so if
there's any area in your life that you
need to clean up there's some people
whose cluttering up your life they serve
no purpose whatsoever they're just
holding and occupying the space that
somebody useful positive nurturing and
contributing could be holding that space
you don't even have time to look to see
what else is out there because you all
have all of these people surrounding you
that's not in enabling you to grow so
look at what is it I need to get out of
my life just start cleaning this stuff
out see whatever you have in your
environment is a reflection of your
consciousness so you got all that chaos
and that represents some disorganized
cluttered section of your mind so let's
get all this out of there all right work
to get that out clean that up
anybody that you feel very strongly
about have some negative feelings about
let's look at some good reasons to
forgive them number one you must try and
see what has happened or see things from
that other person's point of view let's
look at it from their point of view
that's that's one area that's number one
then number two holding a grudge hurts
you doesn't hurt them so just for good
health and peace of mind let it go any
feeling of resentment or anger or hatred
is called to me the load of bitterness
within every thought that we entertain
produces a chemical in our brain that
impacts the body's immune system and
besides this person you are hating it
probably I'm not even aware of it don't
even know you're really hating them
you've turned up the steam loan from
dislike to hate intensely and here you
are killing yourself making yourself
vulnerable to various types of illnesses
putting yourself in bad health and I say
that person is not worth your
sacrificing your health or one winner
peace of mind one minute of anger robs
you of 60 seconds of happiness so decide
it doesn't matter let it go and
experience the dignity and the
magnanimous sense of character of being
big enough to move on and get on with
your life letting it go so you can grow
see what all of us have greatness within
us but when you don't come to grips with
your greatness and you don't work to
develop it if you're not seeking it out
if you're not finding where it is if
you're not trying to locate it if you're
not experimenting with your life to try
and find out what's fits for you I'm
saying that you're positioning yourself
to be a miserable person an unfulfilled
person how else do we do it
procrastination we just put things off
over and over and over again why because
we haven't accepted it
we don't feel deserving we don't feel
that we're good enough so we sabotage
ourselves by not ever taking care of
business we get real busy doing a lot of
things what we don't have anytime we
start doing so many things we just give
our time away until we don't have any
time for ourselves or any time to do the
things that we want to do and every time
you put it off and move it back well
I'll do it one day all year I'm gonna
get to it I'm saying to you that one day
you look around and there goes the year
there goes two years there goes three
years so there's something you want to
do do it now do it right now don't put
it off start right now where you are
there will never be a perfect ideal time
whatever you have going for you right
now that's enough work on that idea work
on it work on it work on it watch out
with the relationships you have what
kind of person are you becoming because
of the relationships that you have right
now do those people contribute to you
then they help you grow and develop
yourself what kind of person are you
becoming people who have not accept
greatness for themselves these people
don't study ladies and gentlemen these
people don't study they don't have time
for personal growth and development then
have time to work on their mind
no didn't have time for that too busy
for that to determine the height of your
self approval it's important that you
evaluate yourself because you know you
quite well but it's almost impossible to
do it totally by yourself you must get
some caring feedback find somebody close
enough to you that has observed you of
it around you that you value their
opinion and ask them how do they see you
how do they rate you in terms of your
self esteem and then compare what you
have with what they say see there are
things many times that people can see in
us that we can't see because it's a
blind spot when someone pays you a
compliment can you handle it well can
you handle compliments low that's a good
barometer about your self-esteem can you
handle criticism well can you give
criticism what are your expectations
what do you expect to get from life what
do you expect to get from your business
what do you expect to get from your
relationships what is your ideal day
what is it that you expect from this
experience this trip this journey that
you're involved in people that that have
a strong sense of self approval they
have high expectations for themselves
and from life and from others see a lot
of people don't expect much from life so
they don't shoot for much they're not
preparing for much a lot of people are
just showing up in life a lot of people
just get up in the morning and they go
through the day they go to the job just
to pull a cheque down watching the clock
coming in
[Music]
so you want to be a different kind of
person as you followed your life you
want to get something out of this if
you're gonna do it it's worth your time
your energy you've got some expectations
from this so examine your expectations
versus your wishes some people wish they
could do better but some people expect
to do better
were you on that and love yourself make
caring for you the highest priority in
your life take care of you look out for
what truly satisfies you we're not
taught to love ourselves we're not
taught to look out for ourselves we're
not taught to take care of ourselves to
become sensitive to our wants to our
needs are our desires so make a
conscious effort make you number one
priority your peace of mind your health
is more important than your family in
any and everybody because if you don't
have peace of mind if you don't have
your health you can't serve anybody
don't neglect yourself a lot of us and
particularly ladies have been groomed to
be sacrificial lambs putting their
dreams on the back burner in deference
to their children's dreams or their
husband's dreams or their family's
dreams and forget about themselves they
become resentful and angry and bitter so
start taking care of yourself looking
out for you develop a health plan your
health is all you got so start taking
care of you eating nutritious meals
willing to exercise your body taking
care of this body loving yourself so do
some good stuff for yourself on purpose
take some time out for you you can't
develop and manifest your greatness you
can't be a high achiever if you don't
feel good you don't take care of
yourself it takes the edge off your life
it helps you to manage things rather
than allowing them to manage you
gives you more personal power to deal
with stuff take care of you now here's
something else I suggest for you become
aware of what your needs are and develop
compassion towards yourself despite your
human defects develop compassion for
yourself despite your human defects you
will never be perfect
hello you will never be perfect you're
human you've made a lot of mistakes
you've done a lot of dumb stupid things
guess what you're not through yet gotta
learn to be gentle with yourself make it
alright what you don't know mistakes
that you make it's okay
handle it learn from the experience
decide that you are going to whatever
you become involved in to be upfront to
be true to yourself are you getting what
you need out of it and be upfront with
people and tell them what you need from
them don't assume that they know don't
say I thought you knew No tell people
upfront
here's what I need from this in order
for this to work for me be upfront with
your stuff tell them up front so they
are not surprised later on so your
feelings aren't hurt later on see if
they tell you upfront they can't do it
now you know you can keep on stepping
but tell people upfront here's what I
want
in order for me to play this game with
you and we're going to dance
this is what I got to get out of it see
if you don't take care of your needs
guess what you will always have that
nagging song in the back of your mind
say well when do I get mine see we're
taught to be quiet
and not speak up for ourselves
not to be selfish if you don't take care
of you what do you think's going to take
care of you who's gonna look out for you
better than you will oh no one's gonna
do that you got a business no one's
gonna take care of your business better
than you nobody nobody anything you want
to do in life you've got to take
ownership of it so hey I'm gonna make
this after be willing to venture out and
do something that you have fantasize
about doing and you know you probably
won't be good at it but do it anyhow
[Music]
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