[theme music] STUMP KITCHEN, STUMP KITCHEN
GLUTEN-FREE, VEGAN EATS AND STUMPTASTIC TREATS!
Hello and welcome to Stump Kitchen. It's like super rainy out today and super blustery.
Look! You can see the water just rippling over the street. So I thought it was the perfect
day to do an unboxing from my very favourite YouTube channel from the UK, Crude Vegans.
Holy s#%t they are funny! Plus their accents are just the f#%kin' sweetest! They do taste
tests, review different vegan foods, they give great advice, and they swear a f#%k ton.
I'll put their channel link below so make sure you go and check them out. So we decided
to send each other s#%t. Wow! Okay let's do this! They put this on all the boxes. It says
"enjoy mother stumper!" [laughs] Motherstumper! F#%k this is exciting! Oh yeah. Holy s#%t!
Ohhh! Gluten-free super seeded oat cakes. These look amazing! [crunch] Huh interesting.
Nutty and flaxxy and - You can like, put hummus on this s#%t! That's f#%kin' rad!
What's next? Oat drink - chocolate. Oat-ly! It says "Shake me". Here goes nothin'! Holy
f#%k! That's like drinking milk chocolate! How the f#%k is this vegan? You wanna send
me some more of this? [laughs]
Okay what do we have next? Jeli Sweets Tropical Wonder.
Oh god. Sometimes you need scissors for packaging that's not stump friendly.
Mmm! Ooh! Wow!
That texture was not what I expected! These are f#%kin' good! Just wash that down with
some Oat-ly!
This looks like a sweet box of something. "It's not just the chocolate that loves you
back, I love you too." [laughs] Mmm! Ooh! That's f#%kin' fancy.
We got some Moo-free organic chocolate. Me and packages have never been, you know, that tight.
Look it got a little melted on the trip. Yeah! I like that! Mmm!
The original HP Sauce. See now, we've got HP Sauce here, but it's probably different
than yours. I assume this is better cause it's the f#%kin' original!
What do you put this on? Fake meat? Barbecued vegetables? Do you put it on a stump? Oh! F#%k! Ooh! Oh!
Wow! Vinegary and tangy - that's nice though -would you put that on fries?
Oh!
Sour Bear Yo-yos? What the f#%k? [belches]
[laughs] This is fun! Look my stump has a scarf for the blustery day! Cheers mate!
Deliciously Ella Energy Ball. Looks like a little mound of poop!
Oh f#%k yeah! More of this and more of this - together!
Marmite? What the f#%k? It's like Vegemite maybe? I've had Vegemite before so... Oh my god!
Mmm! That's really f#%kin' good! Do you have to refrigerate this s#%t?
A Brain Licker? It's a sour candy drink. Okay! Just gonna wash down that Marmite. [gargles]
What the f#%k? It says it's a drink but it looks like roll-on deodorant. I wanna just like -- Do
I suck on it? Do I roll it on my brain? I don't know how it works! Oh you lick it! You
f#%kin' lick it! Mmm! Mmm! This is like f#%kin' Christmas in May!
What are you? Bottoms up! Holy s#%t! Yeah that's good! It's like sweet and sour and
something that would come off of a unicorn!
[popping bubble wrap]
Rainbow drops! It looks like popcorn but I don't know what it is. [indecipherable]
What the f#%k is this? It kinda tastes like Corn Pops cereal and Lucky Charms cereal.
Vegetarian marshmallows! Oh yeah! I love these so much! Yum!
Okay we're gettin' serious now! Raw Incan BBQ Kale Chips. Here we go. [crunch] Hmm yeah!
[laughs] Yeah! This is what kale chips tastes like.
Naked Bakewell Tart. I like things that are naked! Mmm! That's f#%kin' nice!
Oh I love these! Dip -dip-dip-dip-dip-dip! Lick the stick! Dip it in! Oh it kinda pops in my mouth!
What are you? Toffee honeycomb! Ooh that smells like f#%kin' bees' bums!
[crunch] Ohh!! I wanna put that in my coffee!
What are you? They're little pings-- pigs-- pigs-- pigs. I'm a pig stump, pig pig pig
stump. Oink oink! I almost feel bad eating them! Oh f#%k that's good!
Dib-Dab! It's another dabber-licker licker-dab lick - licking-- it's a lick and dab!
Holy s#%t! Yeah I f#%kin' like that. Although it tastes a bit like laundry detergent as well.
Straight up! Coconut chips! Oh yeah! Just straight up coconut chips!
Mmm dark chocolate with clementine! Oh f#%k that smells good!
Yeah!
Lemon and Green Tea Om bar. Raw cocoa. Cakow. Cacao. Cakow? Cakow. Oh that's nice! You can
taste the -- it's more bitter.
Orange Coconut and Chia! 1. Remove the lid and boil the kettle.
Wait five minutes, then tuck in. Tuck in! You're getting about 250 calories of slow-release energy to fuel you
for your morning. Go get 'em, tiger! [tiger roar] [bell dings]
Hummus chips! Chili and lemon flavour. [crunch] Yes this is so good! Look at my new hat.
Parma Violets. Alright. Holy s#$t that flavour! It's like eating a f#%king flower!
What is this? Oh! It's not hard, it's soft! F#%k I like this! It's also like a big cigar.
Fish & Chips Rock -- is this going to taste like fish and chips? I guess we'll see! No it just tastes like sugar.
Cherry drops. I hate anything that's cherry flavoured. I love
cherries the fruit, but cherry flavour is like the worst. So I'm trying these because
I f#%king love you both! Okay Jess and Lyd this is for you!
No I can't do it!
Yass!
Soft mints. Oh these are like Mentos! Mmm mmm mmm mmm! Salted dark chocolate. Oh f#%k
that is good! Dairy-free Fudgey Bites -- with no udder ingredients. [laughs] Like no milk.
Oh! That's f#%kin' rad! [belches] You folks have good candy! Maple bacon chips! Oh sorry,
they're not chips, they're crisps!
Look at this pretty thing! Doisy and Dam -- is it chocolate? Handmade in the UK! Vegan! Gluten
free! No. What the f#%k's "g"? Look how f#%kin' pretty that is! Ginger, chili flakes, and
hemp seed. Oh yeah. Ooh that's spicy!
I got f#%kin' chocolate on my pants.
Time to try this! Mmm! But I think it needs some Oat-ly in it!
Oh yeah! Mmm!
Crude Vegans - thank you so much! That was the f#%king best! Like I said, make sure you
check out the Crude Vegans YouTube channel. Make sure you subscribe to Stump Kitchen down
below, give it a like or a comment! And support Stump Kitchen on Patreon if you want to as
well.
Thanks so much for watching. We'll see you next time on Stump Kitchen. Bye!
[theme music] STUMP KITCHEN, STUMP KITCHEN
GLUTEN-FREE, VEGAN EATS AND STUMPTASTIC TREATS!
Oh my stomach! Ugh! There's so many flavours inside me! Whoo!
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