welcome back behavior scientists in this video executive vice president Matt
Linder goes over tips on how to use social attention appropriately to
reinforce appropriate behavior and what not to do when you're giving social
attention
a great example of how something in the environment shows the child that
attention is available as soon as the father or mother is out of line of sight
the kid goes searching for that signal that says attention is available again
you give it to me I cry when it before it happens now I
got an interesting story about attention so we we have some family it's really
like my wife's second mom and she has four sons and an extremely high need for
attention and she'll tell you that she'll be like hi my name's Jay and I
need attention and one of his sons is their first son that got married weird
the wedding and within weddings there are certain rules or these guidelines of
what to do and what not to do everybody kind of agree with that yeah yeah
absolutely nobody really like talks about the rules
like don't do this because you just think everybody knows this especially
the mother of the groom so there's 200 people at the wedding
pretty similar to this actually and we are was sitting down the music starts
and she starts walking down the aisle with her husband and everybody turns
around and you see Jay in a not white thankfully not why but bright red dress
like really really red one of those you know attention taking colors that you
know that we're not supposed to do in the wedding so and to top it off their
sequence ever she looks like a red disco ball walking
down the aisle
and and I look around and I am laughing I'm just trying to keep it in I'm
getting that elbow for my wife and and everybody else's face looks exactly the
same and and she gets down there and she's got three other sons it's not like
she's not gonna have another chance to be the mother of the groom and you know
we get away from there and go back to the tables and everything like that and
and what's everybody talking about the dress
and when I come people are going up to her and they're like oh hi Jay and how
you doing they're like Oh Jane that dress and
she's like thank you and I'm like I don't think that's a thank you situation
but maybe and like it was like two weeks after the wedding and I and we were out
to you with her and I said Jane I gotta ask you like what the hell were you
thinking and she just goes oh I'm gonna lots of attention that day and I was
like a shameless at least so but that's a really good indicator of how somebody
can engage in problem behavior with a small amount of effort to gain access to
a ton of attention yeah that all planned out so that's something that when we see
our kids engaging a problem behavior and it doesn't look very difficult and yet
they continue to do it it's because it's incredibly reinforcing attention you
take a whole bunch of different forms to I mean it's something that people forget
is that attention is not just being in like oh hey David good job that's one
piece or form or type of attention and when you incorporate a lot of other
components like eye contact proximity physical attention reprimands our
attention okay just because you're telling something not to
doesn't mean that it's not attention telling a student that you're ignoring
them is attention well I'm ignoring you right now so you
can just keep on not okay you have to think about somebody who might be
deprived of their need for attention and taking what though what they can get at
that time there's a lot of times that anybody ever encounter kids who like
want negative attention yeah happens sometimes often it's the most frequent
type of attention that they have access to and they will engage in that behavior
that gets them the most frequent type of attention it's not that they don't like
the positive attention it's not like they don't like other forms of attention
but they'll take what they can get if I am if I've gone three days without food
I might consider eating tuna fish salad and celery the two most disgusting
things on the planet mind you it's an objective statement I think everybody
can agree but I would consider eating them because I need to fill my need for
food and that's what these kids are like they might go home and get absolutely no
attention from anybody so where their parents are working and they have a
nanny or anything like that so we have to remember that we're trying to provide
a new learning history for them and a new set of rules and the sooner we can
program that for that the better
Heather said something in there that's really important that reminded me of
something within our previous function of attention and that is feeling sorry
and prompting students to say I'm sorry you have to be careful with that
especially anybody with a disability that impedes their social awareness
because that's an important skill to have and we want people to be able to
say I'm sorry and show remorse but unfortunately what gets built on
throughout this behavior is engage in problem behavior and then you are
prompted by somebody which is intention to say I'm sorry for which you receive
more attention I'm all about apologies you just have to separate them from the
event a little bit 10-15 minutes something like that that's a good
separation before you prompt somebody to say I'm sorry
otherwise right after oh I'm getting attention I'm getting prompted somebody
else has given me attention by saying it's okay don't worry about it right no
stuff happens so that's a really important component and then the biggest
one is the name okay sorry from yelling the name have you said Matt in here I'm
probably gonna look to whoever says Matt it's funny people were in line earlier
than like yelling for other people like hey we're sit over here and all this
sort of stuff and there's a hand in here I heard your name being called you're
famous now and but there's no better way to provide somebody attention then to
save their name I can't tell you how many times I've been sitting in
classrooms watching you know whatever person in the class room who's trying to
get an analyst behavior and not enough for any phone of their own it's all
about training and oversight and consistency but there was a student
we'll call him Steve and Steve used to get out of his desk and walk around the
classroom and I'll tell you what Steve did it for attention because I did the
functional behavior and I watch the the staffroom are going
you get something she goes Steve Steve Steve Steve Steve like 12 times
no no Direction no anything just Steve and Steve gone this is great I get to
get out of my desk take a little walk and somebody just cheers for me the
entire time this so when you're talking when you're thinking about using a
student's name and you have if you have to redirect them you have to provide
some level of attention take their name out of it okay it will limit how
valuable and how and the magnitude of that attention if you're gonna use their
name use it when you provide praise Steve great job didn't you work finish
this thing you see that's amazing let's get on to do ten jumping jacks or run
around or whatever it is or go for a walk in the hallway just me and you
we'll have some quality what I want whatever it is you know use their name
when you provide phrase it's one of the easiest little switches that you can do
that's going to have a potentially immediate impact in what you're doing
just by switching when you use the name one other story about escape it doesn't
necessarily have to be from something like work or school or anything like
that it could simply be from something unpleasant it's a little bit of
background about me I had a girlfriend in college for a little while and then
we broke up we did not we were not compatible we'll just say that much how
about that true she's a super nice lady now
about a year removed something I was just telling Raph this yesterday about
how you're removed from our breakup you get this feeling in here anybody ever
get that feeling where you're like I just I just can't be here right now I
can't be doing this I don't know that feeling is it's powerful I could get me
out of here so sometimes when we're working with kids and they don't want to
do schoolwork instead of jamming it down their throat and saying well you have to
anyway think about it that worksheet is that kids ex-girlfriend and he has that
feeling so let's try to make it a little bit less pain painful for him so he
might just you know do some of them


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