("Sack Trek" theme music)
- [Joe] The internet, the third from last frontier.
These are the episodes of the YouTube show, Game Sack.
It's moderately entertaining mission,
to seek out old games, and old game consoles.
To boldly review games, that may or may not
have been reviewed before.
("Sack Trek" theme swells)
- Wow, that really takes a long time.
- Way too long.
- And you can feel every second of it.
- And it's not a good feeling either.
- No, no. - It freaking hurts.
- Anyway, computer, begin program,
Game Sack 1.629 alpha 2692.67
- [Computer] Affirmative.
- Stupid computer, I said . point seven, not point eight.
Much better, much better.
Anyway, hello and welcome to Game Sack,
and yes we are talking about Star Trek video games.
- Well, there's a lot of 'em and I know
you are a big Star Trek fan.
- Yes.
- Whereas me, I'll watch it, but I don't follow it
I don't know all the characters, but you know,
I'm willing to play these games.
- Okay, well then, let's just shut the hell up
and get into it.
Okay, I want to start off
with some Star Trek Deep Space Nine love.
Let's try Deep Space Nine Crossroads of Time
for the Super Nintendo.
This is a side scrolling game that
takes place both on and off of the space station.
It feels like they actually put a tiny bit
of effort into this one.
Well, I mean the actual game design
could certainly be better.
But otherwise, it's not too bad.
You mainly play as Commander Sisko.
That's right, Commander Sisko.
This game takes place during the show's earlier seasons.
In the beginning of the game, Sisko
takes it upon himself to do everyone else's job
and solve certain station mysteries and Shenanigans.
I eventually encounter what appear
to be Bajorans up to no good.
So, just like on the show, you punch them
in the face until they die!
Sisko don't mess around.
I mean, look at this, he hauls ass through the station.
There ain't no time for walking.
And he does all of this to the tune
of some very un-space-like beats.
(funky non-space station music)
You do eventually go down to the planet
and explore other places as well.
You have various weapons and items
that you can switch between once you collect them.
The control kind of sucks, though.
Trying to take out these flying things with the phaser
is a chore because you have to press up to aim up,
but Sisko keeps wanting to face the wall when I aim up.
Stupid Sisko!
Even the menu system is kind of clunky
when you have to use it.
Sometimes you switch to another character
so you can have them go and do their own thing.
I guess Sisko just can't do everything.
Most of the time you're just running around
talking to people which will advance the game.
Back and forth you go, and sometimes you
can't even find who you need to talk to
until you talk to someone else.
Pretty exciting, I say.
Still, once you get used to it,
it's not too terribly awful.
I am pretty disappointed that there's
no baseball on Sisko's desk though.
I guess the Super Nintendo just
isn't powerful enough to put a baseball there.
This game's also on the Genesis
and the graphics are brighter, but also a bit more grainy.
The music is a touch more rockin',
and I think I prefer here even though
neither game will remind you of the show.
(funky non-space music, Genesis style)
It's just too bad that this is the only console game
ever based on Deep Space Nine.
Nowadays, a lot of people consider it
their favorite or second favorite Star Trek series.
But back when it was on the air, not so much.
So, I guess this is kind of understandable
why there's not more video game love for this show.
(rockin' music like they listen to on Cardassia Prime)
(low-quality sound effects)
- [Dave] Here's Star Trek 25th anniversary for the Game Boy.
I could have used this title in our episode
"Games I Can't Decide What They Want to Be"
since it has multiple play styles.
You start out on a grid that has many barriers
blocking your destination.
You move the Enterprise in one direction,
and when it hits its first barrier,
the game changes to a side scrolling shooter.
Things start out very easy and gradually
get tougher as you make your way.
There's a map on the bottom of the screen
so you know how much of this fairly boring shooter
you have to endure.
Every now and again a small warp gear will appear
letting you bypass a part of the level.
There should be more of these
because I want to bypass it all.
Once you get to the end, you get to move the Enterprise
again on the grid and do another shooter level.
Even though these only take a few minutes
to get through, it feels like its a lot longer.
At least the backgrounds and enemies change, though.
Once you reach your destination, you beam down
to the planet's service with Spock and Bones
to play an overhead adventure.
You have to scour the planet in search
of part of the disrupter.
Your partners will radio and give you hints
on plant life and enemies that roam around.
Ultimately, you'll use the tricorder
to zero in on where the parts are hidden.
You have your phaser for a weapon
and you can stun or kill enemies.
There's life and more laser ammo laying
around the planet to pick up if you need it.
And you'll need both for sure.
These parts aren't as boring as the shooter levels,
but they're definitely not loads of fun either.
Overall, I'd say I enjoyed the game
about as much as the show.
(music that sounds like it's bored to even exist)
(inaccurate phaser firing sounds)
- [Joe] This is Star Trek Voyager
Elite Force released by Activision for the PC.
Set your phasers to frag because this one
is an arena tournament first person shooter
which uses the Quake III Arena engine.
Basically, the first person to get 25 frags wins
whether you're playing with others
or just playing with your self which I do a lot.
I guess being stuck in the Delta Quadrant,
the Voyager crew has absolutely nothing better to do
than run around a ship and kill each other.
Actually, it takes place on the holodeck
so sadly nobody really dies.
You have various weapons, sub weapons and defensive items
and secondary weapons that are all
just sitting around waiting for anyone to pick up.
It plays well enough, and I guess
this was before the WASD control scheme was popularized.
I'm playing with the mouse and the arrow keys here,
and it works fine and I'm sure I
can adjust it to be even better if I wanted to.
Visually, it moves quickly with a good frame rate,
albeit with a lot of screen tearing.
In fact, I didn't see a V-sync option anywhere.
Also, everything seems to be really dark.
Turning up the brightness all the way doesn't help much.
I actually brightened up the footage
a bit in editing so you could see it better.
Next, I simply could not get any music to run,
and I have no idea why.
Seems like a lot of work to get this game to run properly.
Other than that, it's a run of the mill frag fest.
This game was also released on the PlayStation 2
the next year.
This one has a single player campaign mission
that didn't seem to be in the PC version at all.
At least not that I could find.
It also has some voice overs from the actual cast.
- [Janeway] Tuvok, Voyager's Chief of Security,
assembled an elite force of security personnel
named the Hazard Team.
- [Joe] Aside from that, it's pretty much the same
except that I feel the visuals are better here
because you can actually see them.
Sadly, the game only runs in 480i
and the frame rates can get pretty low sometimes.
There is more ambient sound in this version though.
And finally, you can't even play
as everyone's favorite character on Voyager, Icheb.
As you recall, Icheb was a teen rescued
from the Borg by the Voyager crew.
He ended up being a great assets
and helped out Voyager in many situations
with his smarty-smarts.
This would be the perfect game to have him
and even little Naomi Wildman in.
I mean, there's a bunch of nobodies
in here that we've never heard of, but no Icheb?
I wonder how Icheb actor Manu Intiraymi feels about this?
- It's first person shooter action that won't quit,
but be prepared, you can't play as Icheb.
He's right!
There's no Icheb.
God dammit!
Take that, Activision!
No Icheb.
No Icheb on Timelines.
No Icheb on Star Trek Online.
No Icheb on Elite Force.
There's just no more Icheb.
Just Manu.
Just crusty old, beer bellied Manu.
Hey, what's this?
Game Sack.
Yeah, Joe and Dave might take me on.
That'd be cool.
Joe and Dave suck, Game Sack sucks!
Like I want to end up there.
- Hey guys, we got a cool interview with Manu Intiraymi
who played Icheb on Voyager for two seasons.
So, tell me Manu, do you like video games?
- I do like video games.
I think my favorite video game is Dragons Lair.
- [Joe] Dragons Lair, really?
- [Manu] When Dragons Lair came out when I was a kid
I pumped so many quarters into that machine.
- So, I've got to ask you, how do you really feel
about not being included in the Voyager games
that we showed?
- I'm not...
I'm lying, I would like to be included.
In Star Trek Online, they have my character.
And in Star Trek Timelines they have my character,
but I think they might have even
hired somebody else to do my voice.
And in Star Trek Online, I just bounce around.
I walk around on J7 and I do nothing.
You can bump Icheb, but you can't play him.
I would like to be in a Star Trek game.
I would like to do work in video games in general.
Most of my cast does.
And so if anybody out there wants a freckle-faced actor
in their video game, I'd love to do it.
- So, what are you doing these days?
- Mostly sitting at home and crying.
- Aww.
- Actually, a lot of things.
Right now, my film 5th Passenger, it's a SciFi thriller
that I produced with my friends
Scott Baker and Morgan Lariah.
Stars Doug Jones from The Shape of Water,
and it's awesome.
It's kind of like Aliens meets Star Trek.
Great story, and it's available On Demand,
Blu-ray, DVD, everywhere that you like movies.
I also have a project called The Circuit
which is a science fiction anthology film
that I have in development.
And it's got actors from Game of Thrones
and Star Trek and Star Wars.
It's a mega project that we're getting started.
We're still looking for funding.
We raised a bunch of money on Kickstarter,
but we're also offering people to invest,
and you can find out all about it at thecircuitfilm.com.
Or contact me directly after you
go to the website at ManuIntiraymi@TheCircuitFilm.com.
- Awesome.
Well, back to the games.
Star Trek EliteForceII was only
released on Mac and PC in 2003.
This is the Mac version here.
Despite the opening narration provided by Patrick Stewart
as Picard and showing the Enterprise E,
this one still takes place primarily
in the Voyager universe from what I've seen so far.
It has a single player campaign that is very similar to,
but not exactly like the PS2 version
of the first EliteForce game.
You start out on a Borg ship trying to do various stuff,
including finding your teammates.
Since this game is newer, it's a bit more fleshed out
than it was on the PS2, and it
looks sharper and better all around.
Though screen tearing is definitely still here.
This time you'll be using your tricorder
a lot to modulate the locks on doors and whatnot.
And you'll also be spending a lot of time
crawling through cramped spaces
to find things to shoot which will unlock force fields.
And, of course, there's still the arena mode
where you're trying to get the most frags.
You can choose from a variety of different stages
including a giant Federation bridge
which is weird, but whatever.
Overall, as a single player game,
it definitely improves upon the first.
Still no Icheb, though.
(characters shouting... and dying)
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- Well, that Icheb guy seems pretty nice.
- Icheb is cool.
- Yeah, I'd like to be his friend I think.
- You should.
And the world needs more Icheb.
- Yeah, I think so, I mean,
he seems a little lonely, like
he's been left out a little bit.
I'd like to be his friend.
- You should be his friend.
- Okay.
Star Trek 25th Anniversary for the NES
is a different game from the Game Boy title.
In this installment, the crew of the Enterprise
is accidentally sent to an unknown area in space.
The dilithium crystals have been fused together
so they have to get more on neighboring planets
so they can make it back home.
You'll spend the majority of the game solving puzzles
on planet surfaces so you can find those crystals.
I like the picture of Kirk and Spock
riding the elevator down to the beam room,
or whatever it's called.
Kirk is always holding a spatula,
wanting to make a quick stop in the kitchen
and cook some eggs or something.
The first planet is funny as you're millions of light years
from Earth, and you find aliens
that look like primitive Earthlings and can speak English.
They also have cats!
Anyways, like I said, you do a lot
of puzzle solving, and not much killing.
You can use your phaser, but mainly just
to stun alien creatures or to open up doorways.
It won't take long for you to find those Dilithium crystals
and move on to the next planet and back home.
Not a bad game, but not a very interesting one, either.
(8-bit Star Trek-ish music kinda sorta)
- [Joe] There was even a game show game called,
not surprisingly, Star Trek The Game Show,
and it was released only on PC in 1997.
This one is basically a trivia fest.
So, if you like trivia, then there
might be a chance you'll like this one.
It's hosted by John de Lancie in character
as Q and his Q assistant.
And, of course, just like you'd expect,
he derides you at any and every chance he gets.
- [Q] Let's hear it for blind luck.
- [Joe] Gee, thanks, I feel great now.
Despite absolutely loving Star Trek,
I kind of suck at trivia, so I didn't
do as well at this one as I had hoped to.
There are questions about all the different
Star Trek series, up to Voyager, anyway.
There are four sections to this game,
divided into quadrants.
The first one is simply multiple choice answers
to a bunch of different questions.
In the beta quadrant you actually
have to type in the answer.
I hope you get the spelling correct,
because if you don't, you're out of luck.
And as a guy who sucks at remembering names
and stuff like that, I did pretty badly here.
In the gamma quadrant, it's back
to more multiple choice answers for each question.
But if you get an answer wrong, the points
you would have gotten had you answered it
correctly are subtracted from your score.
Yeah, that's super fun, no pressure at all!
And the final quadrant depends on
which series you get stuck with.
I got stuck with Deep Space Nine,
which I've only seen in its entirety once.
So, I probably did pretty badly,
but the game doesn't really let you know.
Overall there's a bunch of different questions
and you won't get the same ones
for a while when you replay it.
But if you can find another Star Trek nerd
to play against, I think this would be pretty fun.
And I'm jealous of you having friends
who are also Star Trek dorks.
Why can't I be so lucky?
- [Q] If somebody doesn't do something soon
I'm going to be assimilated into the BORED collective.
- [Host] Clue number five, when Kirk found him,
he and his people were just globes of energy.
- [Character] Oh, oh, Sargon!
- [Q] Of all the game shows in all the galaxies,
you had to come into mine.
- [Dave] Let's take a look at Star Trek The Next Generation,
The Advanced Holodeck Tutorial on on the Game Gear.
It was also released on the Game Boy and NES.
Holodeck tutorial, huh?
Sounds pretty exciting.
An entire game that's nothing but a tutorial!
Being a holodeck tutorial, you're not in danger
of really hurting anyone, so go for it
and take risks as you command the crew of the Enterprise.
Captain Picard has a bunch of missions
for you to conquer one at a time.
He'll brief you on the situation
and then it's up to you to decide what to do next.
First you tell that pasty looking humanoid Data
to set a course, and what speed you need to get there.
There's lots of different types of missions,
and they all seem pretty shallow.
For example, in one mission you have to
shoot down an enemy ship that's chasing a freighter.
Being a simulator, you'll also need to tell
that weird looking Worf dude to put up the shields
and arm the ship for battle.
Without that, you're useless.
Another mission will have you beaming up people
that are stuck on a planet.
This mission is a little more deep since you
have to put the Enterprise into the planet's orbit.
And to do that you have to fly through rings.
It seems a little strange, but whatever.
Once in orbit, you play the Beam Up game.
You have to isolate the people
that are moving around on a board.
For some reason, they have to be
picked up in a certain order.
Find the one that maxes out the lock bar,
and then have that dude, O'Brien beam them up.
There's all sorts of missions for you to conquer.
For a sim game, it's kind of fun, but you know,
the excitement isn't off the scales or anything.
Each of these versions have
very slight differences in presentation.
For example, on the Game Boy and NES titles,
when you're warping to your destination,
it looks like you're flying through a star fields.
On the Game Gear, it has a graphic of the Enterprise
warping away from the camera
and then warping back towards the camera.
Other than that, these games
all control and play exactly alike.
I will say that I did enjoy this one more
than I thought I would.
And I guess if you're a Star Trek fan,
you could like it even more than me.
(Star Trek music on the Game Gear)
- [Joe] This is Star Trek Tactical Assault for the Sony PSP.
It's also available for the Nintendo DS.
First of all, look at the ship.
Who modeled this?
It's supposed to be a Constitution class
like the Enterprise, but it looks so wrong.
Stupid Bethesda.
Next, you control some randos,
not the actual Star Trek crew that we all know and love.
I mean, how boring is that?
Piloting your ship can be very frustrating.
Even getting it to turn around feels like it takes a year.
And you can only fire one phaser blast
about every 5 or 10 seconds.
And it takes about 10 hits to even
disable a section of the enemy shields.
Sure, you can upgrade ships later on,
but the one you start out with is so boring
that you don't wanna keep playing until you can do that.
Where's the fun?
Answer, it's nowhere.
But hey, it's on the PSP, so that's kind of cool, I guess.
(intense PSP music)
- [Dave] Here's Star Trek The Next Generation
for Super Nintendo and Genesis.
Weirdly, the Genesis version is called Echoes from the Past
while the Super Nintendo's version is called Future's Past.
The former was published by Sega,
and the latter by Spectrum HoloByte,
but they're both basically the same game.
And guess what?
In these simulation games you take control
of the Enterprise and do all sorts
of good deeds around the universe.
As you'd expect the game has much more depth
and deeper game play than the 8-bit generation games.
As you sit on the control deck of the ship,
you get briefed on what's going on.
From here you can set a course in the Conn.
There's lots of places listed here,
so be sure to pay attention to what the captain has to say,
or you'll have to go back and talk to him again.
Once you set a course, just select your warp speed and go.
As the ship is warping to its destination,
you can check out the ship's library
for information on just about anything it seems.
Then you can go to engineering
and divvy up the ship's resources.
Once you reach your destination, pick your party
of up to four and beam down to the surface.
After you run around solving puzzles and killing enemies,
you'll eventually complete your mission
and then it's on to the next.
At random times you'll be intercepted
by enemy ships that want to pick a fight.
From here you go into an overhead battle
where you can shoot photons and lasers
until you can take your enemy down or visa versa.
If you die, then it's game over, which really sucks.
As far as differences between the versions go,
there's quite a few.
The missions that you're sent on are the same,
but just look at the difference in graphics.
The Genesis version has more storyline,
and you'll read a lot more conversations,
whereas the SNES is straight to the point.
The Super Nintendo version is a lot easier
to figure out on what you need to do.
The Genesis version makes you feel
like you have to figure out more on your own.
The music is also vastly different.
The Super Nintendo version is composed nicer
and sounds much better even though it's pretty jazzy
and not completely fitting to the game's atmosphere.
(upbeat jazzy music)
The Genesis music is just eww.
(creepy music by composer not familiar with the sound chip)
Both versions are fine, but I think I
prefer the SNES version for the music
and easiness of getting around.
(digitized Star Trek sounds)
(jammin' SNES music)
- Alright Dave, are these games making you
want to watch the show even more?
- Well, you know with all the beaming up and beaming down
and all the stuff that happens in Star Trek, not really.
How about you?
- I already want to watch the show.
If anything, I think some of these games
are an insult to Star Trek.
- Yeah, they very well could be.
- Let's just get on to the rest of them.
Next up is Star Trek Legacy on the Xbox 360.
It's also on the PC.
This one let's you play ships from all eras.
In fact, that's all it lets you do.
You control the ships themselves
and generally just fight enemies.
Sometimes you can scan stuff,
and sometimes you can beam away teams to and fro.
But mostly it's just ship to ship phaser battles.
Sounds exciting, right?
Well, it should be, but sadly it's too slow
to generate much excitement.
All five captains that existed at the time
lent their voices to this game.
- [Kirk] This is Enterprise.
- [Joe] The campaign mode starts you out
controlling Enterprise.
No, not the USS Enterprise, the Enterprise
of Captain Archer, based on the 2001 TV series.
Scott Bakula does a lot of good voice overs in character,
though you never see him or anyone else for that matter.
Just the ship itself.
- [Archer] I'm under orders to bring you
safely back to Vulcan.
Can you give me a good reason why
we should head to this outpost?
- [Joe] Still, it's really cool
to be able to control a lot of different ships.
- [Picard] Open haling frequency.
- [Joe] Yes, the original Enterprise
from the show was actually meant to have
these blue lights on the warp nacelles like you see here,
but it was too expensive back then.
Sure looks really good this way, though.
I like it.
And of course, my favorite Enterprise of all time,
the refit model is here, even though
they give you the 1701-A.
It's an absolutely gorgeous ship,
and it's well represented here.
I just wish that the game play matched
the fantastic ship visuals.
- [Sisko] Initiate scan.
- [Joe] Actually, there is one exception
I have to take with the ship graphics.
Look at Voyager when it goes to warp.
The nacelles don't go up into position
like their supposed to.
Not exactly game breaking, but trust me,
Star Trek nerds like myself are gonna
notice stupid things like that.
Also, there isn't a good sense
of scale to the universe here.
The planets and moons all seem tiny,
not much bigger than your ship.
The game's not awful.
I guess I was just hoping for a bit more
with all the series that were represented in this one.
I mean, it's cool that you can have
the original Enterprise fight the Enterprise D and stuff.
So, it does earn some cool points.
But I just wish that in the campaign mode I could see
the view screens and stuff when the ships
are talking to each other so the voice overs
could have a bit more personality.
Oh well.
It really could be a lot worse.
- [Captain] Galaxy, we're taking a beating.
- [Crew] Eagle to fleet, we can't hold out much longer.
All hands abandon ship.
(explosions)
- [Crew] Our ship can't take any more hits Captain.
- [Dave] This is Star Trek Encounters from Bethesda,
released exclusively for the PlayStation 2 in 2006.
This one is similar to Star Trek Legacy
that Joe talked about where you just control the ships.
In fact, this one uses the same music from that game.
Well, I should say that Legacy uses
the same music as this one.
At the beginning you start out as the NX-01 Enterprise
from the 2001 TV series, but all others
are represented as well.
Specifically, it takes place at the beginning
of the show's third season featuring the Xindi threat.
At least that's what Joe tells me.
I mean, I don't really watch Star Trek, so yeah.
You fly your ship around through rings
while you're blowing up radioactive asteroids,
which is cool, except for the radioactive part.
The control isn't too bad here,
except for judging your height.
Your height in relation to other objects
is determined by the little blue bar attached to them.
It's really weird, and I don't feel having to worry
about height in an overhead view adds to the game.
The Xindi attack a lot, and in this part I need to disable,
but not destroy their cruiser by taking out its engines.
If you blow it up, you destroy the ship
and fail the mission.
I don't know where its engines are!
I presume it's at the back where the thrust
is coming out of.
You know, I guess I'll destroy that area.
Nope!
There goes the entire ship!
No matter what I target, the entire ship always blows up.
Maybe I should set my phasers to stun.
There's also the skirmish mode where you can choose
to have a fight with a lot
of different ships from Star Trek.
This could be better, but you know, it's not horrible.
(explosions)
- [Joe] This is Star Trek from the Xbox 360
from Namco Bandai.
It's also available for the PC and PlayStation 3.
This one is kind of, oh... these guys.
This isn't Star Trek.
Oh well, this game holds a lot of promise though
even if it feels woefully rushed.
This one is based on and takes place
after the 2009 Star Trek movie,
and it was released to coincide
with Star Trek Into Darkness, one
of the crappiest movies I've ever seen in my life.
And yes, of course I own a copy.
Some people call this JJ Trek or NuTrek,
or the Kelvin Timeline.
You run around as Kirk or Spock doing mostly actiony things.
Like I said, it has a lot of promise.
It's mostly pretty good actually,
just rough around some of the edges.
Here I keep getting blasted by the sun even though
I'm ducking behind cover to avoid specifically that.
I literally cannot crouch any further
and yet I still take damage again and again until I die.
But otherwise the game looks nice,
and it's also voiced by the complete JJ NuTrek
Kelvin Timeline new cast which is really cool.
- [Chekov] It is highly unusual sir, but I
believe it's some kind of rip in the fabric of space.
- [Joe] I want a game like this,
but with the original, Next Generation, Deep Space Nine,
and Voyager characters, and include Icheb!
The weirdest part is that William Shatner
made a commercial for this game and recreated
the old 60's fights he had with a Gorn.
And I've got to say that's way cooler than the game.
(Spock yelling)
- [Kirk] Spock, you continue to surprise me.
- [Spock] Let us open the door together.
- [Dave] Star Trek Conquest was released
for the PlayStation 2 in 2007 and on the Wii in 2008.
Again, it's from Bethesda who really
got their money's worth on the Star Trek license.
And here we go again, it's basically
what you'd expect from them.
You control only the ships themselves in a combat arena.
However, this one has an interesting campaign mode.
You can select from a bunch of different races,
instead of just the Federation.
Yeah, you heard me right.
The Federation is its own race!
It plays out kind of like a turn based strategy RPG
where you move your pieces around trying
to conquer various areas of the map.
If you encounter an enemy at your location,
you have two ways to fight them, sim or arcade.
If you choose arcade, then you fly around
battling each other with basically the same controls
that Star Trek Encounters had.
If you choose Sim then the computer
does it for you right there on that screen.
Between turns you combine ships, fortify your defense,
upgrade your weapons and all that good stuff.
It's pretty tough though, as the game pounces you
right away from the beginning.
At least on the medium difficulty it does.
And, of course, there's the regular skirmish mode
you'd expect from Bethesda.
Still, it's an interesting take on Star Trek games.
- [Crew] Our shields are down.
This is for Earth!
Hull integrity is at 50 percent.
- [Joe] Finally, here's Star Trek Bridge Crew
on the PlayStation 4.
It's also on the PC and you'll want
to play it in VR if you can.
This is one of those Star Trek games
where it tries to be a super realistic simulation.
It needs you to issue commands, press all the buttons,
delegate repairs and all of that nonsense.
Honestly, it's kind of been a while
since I've played this one and I
can't remember exactly how to play it.
It's not something that you can
just pull down from the shelf at random and have a go.
And it won't let you play at all
if you don't have an internet connection,
not even in single player mode.
That's extremely dumb.
I do not understand the reasoning for this.
Stupid Ubisoft!
But still, if you can get three friends
who kind of know what they're doing,
but not really, this game is a blast.
You form the galaxy's most incompetent Star Fleet Crew.
It's like you found the keys to a star ship
and suddenly you're taking it out
for a joyride when all hell breaks loose.
There is this one time where Billy from The Game Chasers,
and I think, 8-bit Eric and I
were all playing with this one guy,
and he couldn't hear our mics, but we could hear his.
He was grunting and cussing and getting
really pissed at our incompetence.
I mean, we sucked, and this guy wanted to do good.
And we could not stop laughing at how angry he was getting.
I think it's probably one of the best times
I've ever had playing something online.
Anyway, the main portion of the game
takes place in the JJ NuTrek Kelvin Timeline.
But what's cool is that you can
actually select the original TV show Enterprise.
You can also look around outside of your ship to truly
get a sense of how fricking gigantic these things are.
The scale is absolutely amazing.
I really wish they had more ships.
But I spend most of my time trying to hit
on the female crew members who completely ignore me.
- I will update the chart of our operational area.
- [Joe] Whoa!
Oh my god, what the hell happened to Spock?
Seriously.
Hey, Spock, what happened to you man, you poor bastard?!
I also like pressing all of these random, unlabeled buttons.
I guess in the future people just
know what unlabeled buttons do.
Oh, and Kirk has changed a little, too.
Hmm.
Overall, this is a fun game to play with friends
with lots of different missions to go on.
But you'll never leave the bridge.
- Alright guys, there you have it.
Star Trek in video game form, and thank god this is over.
- Oh, come on, I know you like Star Trek.
- How do you know I like Star Trek?
- I have video evidence, dude.
You standing like right next to the shelf
of like five VHS Star Trek 1 through 5,
and you're like proudly standing by them.
Roll the clip.
- [Dave] Oh okay, yeah, I don't know
where he has the keys or anything.
- [Joe] Dave White's awesome setup.
- [Dave] To tell you the truth,
I don't know where they went.
But, you know, I know they will be home this evening.
- [Joe] The end.
- I'm pretty sure I borrowed those from you Joe.
- No, sir, I never owned Star Trek 5 on VHS,
and you owned 1 through 5.
He even owned Star Trek 5!!
You are a closeted Star Trek fan, my friend.
- I don't, I don't think I am, bud.
- Oh, I think he is.
- Anyways, as far as these games go,
I thought they were just gonna be mindless,
boring old sims, but they turned out
to be a lot more fun than I actually thought they would.
So, whatever.
I might have to play some more of them, who knows.
How about you?
- Well, I thought some of them were good,
some of them were bad, you know there
were a lot of hit and miss stuff in there.
I don't know, what do you guys think about Star Trek games?
Let us know.
In the mean time, thank you for watching Game Sack.
Computer, end program.
Wouldn't that be so lame if like Game Sack as a series,
the last episode was a holodeck episode
and it ended on that?
- Yeah, that would be lame, man.
- Like the last line in the show
was "Computer end program".
That would be so lame.
- Anticlimactic.
- Time to beam out.
It hurts so bad!
("Sack Trek" theme music plays... again)
Alright Icheb, you ready to play
Star Trek The Arcade Game from Sega?
- My name is Manu Intiraymi.
I played the character Icheb in Voyager 20 years ago.
I'm Manu.
- Let's go, Icheb.
- Alright.
What is the object of this game?
- Well first you've gotta dock with the star base
- [Manu] What's the triangle?
- You've gotta blast the Klingon Warbirds.
- Oh, they're hitting me man.
My shields are down to 17 percent.
Reroute power to the warp core.
13 percent, what the?
Why do I suck so bad?
Ah, why do I suck so bad at this?
I should be good at this.
- Well you're probably not doing anything to the game
since it's a one player game.
- I'm not even playing?
That's you sucking?
Get out of here, let me play.
I got this.
- [Computer] Welcome aboard, Captain.
(cool upbeat music that makes you enjoy being alive)
- [Director] Okay, go for it.
- Oh what the?
God!
Dammit!
Okay, what am I, the Enterprise?
- [Joe] Yeah.
- Star Trek games suck.
- Hey guys we've got a cool interview with Manu, Manu,
what the hells your name, Manu?
- Manu Intiraymi.
- What kind of stupid name is that?
- Star Trek games suck!
- Alright, we've got a cool interview with Man-Manu, pff.
- This game sucks!
Star Trek games suck.
C'mon!
Fire pho-photon torpedoes!
Goddammit they suck!
Manu Intiraymi.
- Intiraymi.
- Intiraymi.
Game Sack, oh god.
- We got a cool interview with Manu Anti,
why do I keep saying anti?
- I don't know, I think you're anti-Manu.
- I guess so.
Everyone we've got a cool interview
with Manu Intiraymi here, who played Icheb
on Voyager for two seasons.
- Put in some Icheb next time.
Take that Activision.
Put Icheb in next time.
Put in some Icheb next time.
Oh, take that Activision!
- Do you like video games?
- I think I just screwed up the continuity
because in the other shots my arms aren't like this.
- No one cares.
- Game Sack?
Oh, that's even worse!
- Okay, tell me Manu, do you like video games?
- Huh?
- Oh, Game Sack?
Oh!
Gross.
I HATE YOUR FACE!!!
Game Sack?
Uh, they suck even worse.
Is that the second question you're asking me?
- Yeah, that was the second.
- Okay.
- So.
- But I was in Voyager.
Oh cool, Game Sack.
- Hey guys, we got.
- Manu Intiraymi here today.
Icheb from Star Trek Voyager,
and he's our special guest.
No Icheb in the arcade game.
No Icheb in the 1983 game.
I mean, he wasn't alive then.
They should have just called the show Seven of Nine.
- Dude, she was hot.
- Yeah, she's hot.
- Dude, was she like hot in real life?
- Mmhmm.
So, um, what do you think about video games?
Joe and Dave, yeah they might take me on.
That's pathetic.
Screw those guys.
Do you have the sack to be in a game called Game Sack?
So, Manu, what do you feel about video games,
do you like 'em?
- You're Manu, I'm Joe.
- Game Sack.
Yeah, Joe and Dave might take me on.
That'd be cool.
No, that'd be lame.
Those guys suck.
My life sucks.
- And first question I've got to ask you, Manu.
- No, yeah, I'm happy to be here.
- Do you like video games?
- No, I think video games, actually I hate them.
I don't play them.
- Jesus Christ.
- What?
Take that, game nerds!
- This is a show about video games, dumbass!
- I'm sorry, I can't be.
- Screw you.
- I guess I can't be on the show then
if I don't like Donkey Kong or whatever.
Get out of my way, I'll get this.
Engage player one.
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