Liam was five when I started dating his mom it had been a fairly tough bonding
process he understood that his dad had gone away but couldn't wrap his mind
around the idea of a drunk driving accident just yet
I was just someone who showed up who he didn't want or asked for and didn't
leave and although he was a fairly sweet exuberant kid with me he was quiet and
anxious and when I tried to interact with him he would always shyly bury his
head into his mom's chest I thought maybe something for just me and him
might help turn things around so when I suggested a Lakers game
his mom was ecstatic Liam had posters of Rondo and LeBron covering his walls like
most kids in LA so this seemed like the perfect idea
the plan was simple his mom pretended that Liam had a doctor's appointment
after school but instead would surprise him and meet me at the North Hollywood
subway station ready to go with floor seat tickets a new purple Lakers hat and
a smile when Liam saw me his face dropped a little but after his mom
explained about the game and I showed him his new hat and promised him pizza
and hotdogs his mood picked up right away I can always tell when he was
really happy because his green eyes would go big and bright his mom turned
to go and for the first time he reached up and grabbed my end a security guy
stood outside the entrance to the subway station finishing a cigarette he gave us
a little nod as we approached the escalator which descended down deep
below the busy city streets Liam looked up and saw the pigeons
flying above us who made their homes in the vast concrete tunnel which delivered
us into the underground I looked down at him and pushed his new purple hat too
big for his head down over his green eyes teasing him he laughed as we got
off the long escalator the air became stale warm with body heat and the
slightest hint of garbage a wet cough echoed from somewhere in the station I
bought our fare and headed to the platform
the faces and subway stations all fit the same profile after a while the young
student the elderly woman a couple of wannabe hip hop kids listening to music
solely through an iPhone speaker the young lovers and the young mom trying to
corral a couple children stay close to me
Liam looked up he knew - already next train will be here in just a couple
minutes a homeless man brushed past us with a
phlegm coated hack he was maybe about fifty with rough sunburnt skin and
pastel pink scars on his forehead new skin covering up the wound he smelled
like a mixture of vodka and piss behind him he dragged three garbage bags full
of cans clothes junk who knows what the homeless man took a seat for himself
against the stairwell I did my best to ignore him like a good Angelino I looked
down at Liam Liam was frightened of him I could tell and if I'm being honest I
was probably a little frightened of him as well you excited for LeBron
I asked trying to get his attention what's down there Liam was pointing to
the train tunnel dark and empty that's where the trains come from when our
train comes that's where we'll go all the way downtown out of the corner of my
eye I saw the homeless man scratching his forehead digging in with his dirty
nails trying to get at the new skin underneath
Liam turned pointing to the opposite tunnel what about that way I leaned out
the subway ledge looking that way I'm not sure North Hollywood is the last
stop so I think that way goes to the train yard where they fix anything
that's broken I glanced back over my shoulder the homeless man was looking at
me no he wasn't looking at me he was looking at Liam he stared at Liam his
eyes were watery and dark he scratched his forehead scratched over the fresh
pink scars harder and harder do people live down here Liam asked Oh
No I laughed trying my best to ignore the
homeless men no one lives down here only pigeons I like them I like the pigeons
let's walk further down the platform I tugged at his hand pulling him along
with me my friend Aaron at school says people live down here and they still
kids and bring him here he said they do things to them we stopped walking after
I found a comfortable place away from the homeless man between what must have
been an art school dropout and a fat tourist no people don't take kids and
bring them down here sometimes people don't have places to stay at night like
you and I do sometimes people get down on their luck and need a place to rest
for a few hours so they come down here sometimes people have it really rough
like him like who I looked the homeless man was standing down the platform from
us standing straight ahead and looking at Liam with a little grin across his
sunburnt cheeks it's okay I said our trains gonna be here soon but first
let's see if you and me can sneak up on a pigeon okay
we walked further down the platform away from the groups of people congregating
near the ledges it was stupid of me definitely paranoid I looked back behind
us to see if the homeless man was still there no he wasn't
Christ I thought ahead of us a trio of pigeons pecked at some old french fries
someone spilled on the platform Liam looked up at me and I winked at him
giving him the signal to let go of my hand and try and tiptoe up next to the
birds careful I said actually sounded like my own dad for a moment Liam crept
closer to the pigeons don't be an idiot I thought don't turn around and look
he's not behind you like an idiot I turned and looked the
homeless man stood there 20 feet away his eyes locked on Liam his forehead had
started to spot with blood from the scratching Liam I reached down for him
not taking my eyes off the homeless men what's wrong Liam asked trains coming
come on I pulled him towards the ledge the light from the opposite end of the
tunnel started to get brighter just get on the train don't look back at him get
on the train get on the train get on the train I looked back again he was gone
nothing there except other faces standing gathering for the coming train
I looked down at Liam do you think we should get you a Jersey Liam was gone I
could feel panic well up in my bones the klaxon of the arriving train rang as it
pushed warm air against my face Liam will Liam where'd you go I started to
jog down the platform trying to see everything all at once oh god no please
don't let this be happening Leo the train slowed to a stop and opened its
doors the people waited next to the opening doors as the other passengers
disembarked where did you go Liam please please not now
I heard the cooing of pigeons behind me and squatting down hand out towards the
birds was Liam and his purple Laker Set thank fucking god I sighed people had
started to get on the train I reached down and grabbed his hand quickly
pulling him inside the last train car before the doors closed I let out a deep
breath Jesus we're gonna take a fucking uber home Liam climbed up into an empty
seat while I grabbed the overhead rail I think I'm going to eat at least three
hot dogs coming here Liam looked up at me with his eyes his brown eyes this
wasn't Liam my chest went tight as the train started to pull away from the
platform from the last window of the last train
car I saw Liam bye Liam in the arms of the homeless men
he looked so scared as the homeless man covered his mouth so he couldn't scream
with the other hand the homeless man waved at me
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