- Hi, friends.
I'm here with...
- Jackson Bird.
- So, if you're new here, something that's really important
to me is the personal stories that we tell ourselves
about who we are.
I think it's a really important way
that we shape our reality.
I like to call them personal mythologies
and I like to ask other people when I meet them
or when I'm getting to know them or when I'm filming
a video with them what their personal mythologies are.
So, Jackson,
what is a word or a characteristic
or an idea that you think defines you?
- What I'm gonna go with is that I am an avid reader.
I was always reading more books or more excited
about reading than other kids in my class,
but I don't think I really realized it
until I was in fourth grade
and we were looking for a new house.
We were visiting houses
and being shown around by brokers or whatever.
I didn't really understand the process, I was nine.
But we were looking at this house and they had
maybe a cool nook or something and my mom was just like,
"Oh, Jackson, you'll love that
"because he's such a reader.
"He's just reading all the time,"
she's saying to the real estate agent.
And I listened to that, I'm like, I'm a reader?
I love reading?
I like reading more than other people
to the extent she's bragging to the real estate agent?
And then I thought about it and I was like, yeah, okay.
Yeah, I guess I do.
Oh, I'm a reader, alright.
And I just really took it on.
I was like, yeah, I love books.
This is a part of me now because my mom said it was.
- First question, did you end up
living in the house with the nook?
- No, we did not, but the house we ended up in
actually did have these really cool two windows
that had the little bench-thing.
- Oh, I love those.
- I know. (laughing)
Starting in middle school,
reading became a bit harder for me.
I think it was an attention thing.
I just could not pay attention to books.
So, from sixth grade through college,
I very rarely ever completed a single reading assignment.
I still thought of myself as a big reader
and I would read a lot outside of class.
I don't know if it would've continued to be true.
If I hadn't had that positive reinforcement, I might've
at some point been like, meh, reading, English class,
writing, it's not really me,
but it became a part of my identity, which meant that
it was something I wanted to do well
and I wanted to succeed at and it was my thing.
- My whole thing is I'm a writer and I tried to run from it
for so long.
I don't know what to do with my life and I
to paraphrase Hamilton, write my way out of it.
But has that have ever been something that you look to
when you're trying to figure out what to do?
- Maybe, I have a very similar narrative to you in that
the reading is really wrapped up in the writing and so
my mom saying that when we were looking at that house
is the tent pole moment in my memory, but there's a lot
that followed it of winning awards for writing
and teachers saying this is the only subject
that you're really good at and being allowed
in the advanced classes for English, but then being like,
I don't know if you should do that for math and science.
Oh, someone's starting a literary magazine?
I guess I'll be involved because I'm the literature person.
But the weird thing that happened was after I graduated
college and got involved in the professional world,
it wasn't a part of what I did.
I realized my co-workers have no idea that I enjoyed writing
and that it was a thing I had a history of success at.
And this was partially because I was always like,
I don't wanna volunteer for copy editing
or I don't wanna write the copy on the websites,
someone else do that, so they just thought I hated writing.
And that was a really weird identity thing for me.
I abandoned a lot of parts of what I had had
as identity markers growing up when I was a young adult.
It's been a weird process of bringing writing back
into my life and there are times
where I feel like I'm rusty.
So, a couple of years ago,
I got on some anti-anxiety medication
and was able to finish a book for the first time
in years. - Wow.
- Yeah, I know, right.
It's like having proper diagnoses is actually effective
to people's lives, who knew?
I started being able to read books and now I read
close to 50 books a year and my friends and I
formed a book club and I make BookTube videos sometimes,
so it has become a part of my life again
after having that period of still feeling like a reader,
but not being a very good one.
I am really into wanting to read all these books
that I wanna read.
When I'm going about my day and what my priorities are,
sometimes my priority is I wanna finish this book
so I can get to the next one and that in no way
pays the bills, right. - Yeah.
And so, I really wish I could get paid for reading
because that's what I really like to do.
So, part of the hesitation in saying I don't know if this
is what I am was because I was like, I don't know.
Am I a good enough reader to say that I'm a reader,
but then also because it's not a job.
- Why do you think that it has to be a job
to be who you are?
(laughing)
- I grew up in a capitalist society and the only kind
of identity I know is one that makes you money.
- If reading's not a job for you--
- How do I make it a job?
That's what we're gonna figure out?
(laughing)
- I just wanna be the Instagram that everybody has
where it's like a girl in a cozy sweater and a mug of tea
holding a book on a pristine...
Sunlight streaming through the window.
- The sunlight and the white walls
in all the Instagram people's houses, how do they do that?
- I'm just like, I don't know what else you have to do
all day, but that sounds great.
(laughing)
I would hire somebody to take photos of me
while I read books with a mug of tea.
I don't know if I could get the messy bun that perfect,
(laughing) but I would try.
That would be worth it.
That's a career path. (laughing)
- I'm also definitely a book collector.
I always imagine someday if I get to be a homeowner,
I wanna have-- - The Beauty and the Beast library
with the sliding...
- Yeah, not quite that much.
It will be more about the size of this room
just with lots of bookshelves in it.
I've always had this image of me as an old man sitting
in my room that is my library in a little chair
with my tobacco pipe and a good book
and maybe a glass of whiskey on the table.
That's always been my image of me.
That's me as a reader in the future.
- What do you think is the best or the most important
or most valuable thing that being a reader
has brought to your life?
- Oh, wow. - Just one.
This is a little bit like the power of reading,
but it's so true.
Reading brings so much value.
Definitely, in terms of representation or getting to escape
into worlds, of getting to learn
about other people's experiences.
- When I was in high school and college,
I didn't really read YA, I scoffed at it.
I was like, I'm a serious reader, which I know now is BS.
- Yeah, but I did the same thing.
I was like, I'm gonna read through the canon.
- Yeah, I'm reading all of the classics, which are all--
- White men. Yeah.
I got really back into YA because that's the best place
that I find right now
for finding queer characters in books.
I'm not finding it in adult fiction that much
because I'm like oh man, if this book was around
when I was 16, things would've made so much more sense.
- So true and that's why I love YA, too.
I try to push myself to read more diversely.
It's a lot easier to do that in YA than in adult fiction.
- And then I watch BookTube and I'm like,
oh, I'm not a reader, they're readers.
Does that comparison ever happen to you?
- People who I guess have read all the books
that I feel like I should've read.
They're readers or the ones
who consume so many books in a year.
I guess I consume a lot of books in a year,
but a lot of them are middle grade books or graphic novels
or I read a lot of YA, which I won't apologize for
in any way because I love that industry.
I love the community.
Yeah, I look at people like that.
I'm like, they're serious readers.
I think one thing that I really learned
is to not be discouraged if you have trouble reading
in school because I did and some of us still enjoyed it.
Find what you can read.
Find what is enjoyable and enriching to your life
and don't be ashamed if it's YA books or middle grade
or graphic novels or comics or whatever
or reading online, whether it's fan fiction or news
or whatever.
Reading is reading and it's gonna lead you
to different things whether that's other types of reading
or just greater ideas and thoughts in your head.
- Thanks so much for sharing your story.
- Thank you for having me on.
- Where can people find you?
- I am jackisnotabird on YouTube, Instagram, Twitter
wherever you wanna follow me on.
- In the comments, tell me a story about how reading
has played a role or hasn't played a role in your life.
- Oh, I am excited to read those.
- Yeah, me too, also book recommendations.
- Yes, I don't need them, but I need them.
(laughing)
- If you like this video, consider subscribing.
You can find me everywhere on the internet at itsradishtime.
You can find Jack at jackisnotabird.
We also did a video on Jack's channel where I asked him
some questions about what it's like to be trans.
So, go check that out and I'll see you soon.
Bye. - Bye.
Oh yeah, because you have the cool animation.
(laughing)
(light music)
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