AVM Games AVM - Escape Greeny Forest
For more infomation >> Dance Moms: Abby in the Face of Adversity (Season 5) | Lifetime - Duration: 4:53. 
For more infomation >> 【🐶一秒令你的狗狗說人話！？】我的寵物會說話！😱😱(CC中文字幕) - Duration: 4:49. 
For more infomation >> Mehmet Moran - Mahallem | prod. by Denizkan Boz (Official Video) - Duration: 3:17. 
For more infomation >> 💀 Postacie z bajek zeszły na złą drogę! - Duration: 2:34. 
For more infomation >> 100 MOST CREATIVE GARDENING DESIGN IDEAS | Garden Ideas - Duration: 10:16. 
For more infomation >> Hanta - Dhay3in | ضايعين (Clip Officiel) - Duration: 4:06. 
For more infomation >> Occhiali e apparecchi per via ossea, quante novità - E UHA 2018 - Duration: 0:49. 
For more infomation >> FRIZ MIAŁ WYPADEK *auto zniszczone* - Duration: 1:06. 
How many times has it occurred to you, to like a woman
to want to make the first move or you already know her
and want to express your intentions,
and to paralyze, not to know what to say, suddenly your mind
becomes a bomb which is ready to burst
and in the end you do nothing.
I'm Christos, from Men of Style and today we'll talk
about: Why do I paralyze when I like her?
Let's go!
In most cases, when we like a woman
and we paralyze when we are in front of her and we want to make
the first move and move the situation ahead,
every insecurity we have usually makes its appearance and sabotages us
in ways that we can't control.
We try to control the impression we make to the woman.
We try to control it, we try to manage it
and in every moment, in every step, we try to do everything perfectly
so we're getting pressured.
Obviously, of course, this happens because we give tremendous value
and keep the word in the result that we want to create,
while on the other side we don't know if the result is certain.
This happens, of course because not only is the result uncertain,
but because it creates stress, pressure, and at the same time, the insecurities
we have, make us believe that our skills are not enough,
to be able to cope with what we want most.
That is, to express our intentions to the woman we like that much.
Usually when we like a woman and paralyze when expressing
our intentions and make the first move, there are two scenarios
that we may be in.
The first scenario is being in a situation where you don't know her
and the other one is knowing her and wanting to express
your intentions.
In the first scenario, speaking from a personal experience, when I saw
a woman I liked and wanted to approach,
my mind was thinking of three possible cases.
The first, I did not know what to say. I wanted to say everything perfectly,
avoid something stupid that would destroy the whole situation.
You do not always have to know what to say. What it takes is
feel comfortable and so, you can show
her feelings that will begin some kind of attraction.
The second thing I was thinking of was: That I watched every second
and every minute if she would look at me, show me something...
a sign of interest to be sure.
Basically I did not feel well with the situation, so I wanted to make sure
that she really liked me so, I could avoid making the first move
and get rejected immediately.
Of course, that pressured me and added
even more stress. Why?
Because if she started looking at me once more or once more
or for a third time... I would say
to myself: "Oh my God!"
"She has already looked at me two times. Okay! I have to go! That's it! "
And the third scenario, of course, which is related to the other two
is when I had to act.
Now she's talking to her girlfriend. Now she ordered her drink.
Now she's looking at the ceiling. Now she's staring at the stars.
Now she's checking on her phone. When is the right time to go?
I'm afraid she will be blunt
and speak to me rudely and then I won't know what to do.
And in the second case, of course, when you already know the woman
and you are paralyzed when expressing your intentions because you like her
very much. Personally, what happened to me
was that you know something? I was waiting
a sack full of signs of interest, so I would be sure it was the right time
to make the next step or at least wait long enough
to make her make that move and then work on it.
That's it!
So, when you like a woman or a result is of great value
for you and you feel paralyzed, it's happening because
at the moment you feel stressed and pressured.
But what we do not know is that when we are stressed
and in stressful situations, our brain not only produces cortisol,
which is one of the hormones that is directly associated with stress.
It produces another hormone, which its initials are DHEA.
And it is a hormone which is a neurosteroid.
And it does exactly what its nature says.
Helps the brain and helps us become stronger.
What does this mean? So, when you feel paralyzed
and you are in front of a woman you like
at that moment your brain, obviously, produces some hormones
for the specific circumstance, which affects
your emotions.
But what there hormones do are not just to provoke
stress or pressure.
What they still do is strengthen the activity of your brain
for learning.
Imagine some moments in the past in which you felt very stressed
or a thought that caused too much anxiety, that you could not get out
of your mind.
You wanted to fix it, you wanted an explanation.
This is precisely because of the stress and pressure.
These hormones may not make you feel so comfortable,
but at the same time they have the ability to encourage you, to look
the experience itself differently and learn from it, but also
evolve.
In short, this is the process through which the stress itself
teaches you how to manage it when it appears
again in the future.
In the past, the reason why I was paralyzed when I wanted to flirt
with a woman I liked a lot, were mostly some mental patterns
which I had and above all were based on some insecurities.
Some of them were some sort of stereotypes.
That is, there were some rules or some laws I had in my mind and
I couldn't recognize at the moment.
The only thing I did was react at these thoughts,
in these mental patterns.
Some of them were, for example, I had to do everything perfectly.
Any mistake would mean that I didn't like the woman
and that the rejection was ahead.
Come on, you do not have to do everything perfect!
What you need is express yourself, have fun, above all, and express
your real needs.
Another way of thinking, another mental pattern I had,
was that I thought the woman evaluated my every move
and that I was walking in a minefield.
Yes OK! To some extent this is correct
because women perceive more body language movements
than we do.
However, what I want you to understand is that: yes ok
the woman evaluates you and until a point that is reasonable,
because she wants to know if you like her and how much you do.
But you will need to have the way of thinking, that you evaluate
her too. That you are trying to understand
how much you like her and finally if you want to see her again.
Some other mental patterns I had was that I did not know how to behave
from the beginning and show interest.
That is, express my intentions from the beginning or be a bit indifferent
to seem difficult to get?
Explain your intentions from the beginning, you do not have to play
games! That's who you are!
Another cognitive pattern was that I was thinking what others would say
while I speak to her.
They might be thinking I'm flirting. They might notice a mistake
and be mocked.
Another mental pattern was that I wanted to know or wanted
to know how to manage a possible rejection.
Will I try to change her mind?
Or will I run away scared?
As you understand, all these mental patterns, made me stress
too much so, I would feel pressured to express what
I really and speak like a man
Basically simply and authenticly!
And especially to be able to talk to a basic level with the woman I like
that much.
So, when it comes to stress, pressure, challenges that paralyze you
at the moment you are talking with a woman you like
there is a chance to have some defense mechanisms that don't
allow you to express your real self,
and what you really want.
One kind of these defense mechanisms can be for example...
the impostor syndrome, that is, the syndrome in which we show
someone else because we believe that this different image
which we will show, will make a better impression or to the woman
we like so or a person who is of great value to us,
and accept us.
Another one is the stereotype threat: "Oh,okay! All women are the same!"
"They'll all deny me because, in the past, they have all rejected me. "
Or self-handicapping.
I say these terms in English because the translation would be akward.
This defense mechanism has to do with not being worth
a shot, because rejection is granted.
All these defense mechanisms not only do they prevent us
from expressing our real needs and finally flirt
so we really enjoy, but at the same time they paralyze us
and put us in some mental storms that we ourselves want
to escape from a situation which is basically redeeming.
Which will actually evolve us, help us reveal errors,
and insecurities or as I always say and allow me also to use this expression
If you do not get into hard situations, the shit you have inside won't go out
because we all have some shit inside, so, you can see what's really
happening on the inside
and at the same time through this process you will evolve and become even better
It is extremely important, at the moment you feel stressed and pressured,
do not give up.
Just do the best you can with the supplies you already have,
with the skills you already have.
If at that moment you feel paralyzed, because you have a beautiful woman
you like it and abandon,
you'll be back in the same position, you will not have a corresponding
experience, because you have not been pushed from the previous ones.
It takes a little pressure. I'm not telling you to start
juggling, do magic or hypnotize her like you are some kind of
mentalist that will get inside her mind and read her thoughts.
You do not need to show anything you are not!
One small step at a time.
A small step at a time when you feel pressed when you feel stressed
Why; Because that's how skills are created
and you become better.
If every time you feel pressured, you give up, there is no chance
you estimate what your skills are.
What I want to convey to you is that there will be situations
in all our lives that may not be
serious, or difficult, but we see them as Mt. Everest.
And at the moment we say: "Oh my God! A whole mountain
is in fron of me. I'm giving up... It's over! "
Come on, look at it! Everyone has his own
goals he wants to achieve.
Many times, however, you will be needed to evaluate
whether the effort will help you become better and how much
the resignation will charge you.
Everything has a profit and everything has a cost, in life.
Nothing comes free. What I want to convey to you is that
at that moment you feel paralyzed because you want to flirt
and express your intentions to a woman
you can shift your thoughts and instead of saying:
"You know what? A rejection will dissolve me. I will continue to live alone
for... for many months. " I understand! I've been there!
But don't forget about the other side that tells you:
"You know what? You are a step closer to an incredible
journey, an incredible experience. "
And as a beloved quote says:
"The best trips are usually the ones that answer the questions
we never believed we would ask."
I'm Christos, from Men of Style and today we talked about:
Why do I paralyze when I like her?
Be well!
Đăng ký:
Đăng Nhận xét (Atom)
Không có nhận xét nào:
Đăng nhận xét