good picking up Oh gotcha okay get rid of the compliment
those pants sell those are nice pants
those are nice pants hey Laura who's a nice pants Oh another pair pants
oh those are nice tooooooo
those are nice pants not like a cool guy
from their plane the goal is to get off their plate at the end we're gonna weigh
it whoever's plate is the lightest lose alright guys queues in grab a plate it's
lunchtime hi how are you you seem very nice ok I would I wouldn't need those oh
ok I'll leave you alone
the jig is up are you supposed to be a ninja
he's just chasing now you're just harassing people this is rough it's a
matter Q this is a rough one drunk I'm out
are you quitting he's quitting let's go felis oh my god delicious no no I just
where did you find this one it's my favorite
you're saying the amount of dirty books that are getting thrown your way this
man going on out here this completely buddy get out of there
man get out get out move your ass today we're at LIC Dental Associates going
deep in people's mouths while deep in people's mouths we've got to do and say
what the other guys tell us if you refuse to do or say anything
while deep in people's mouths you lose I don't think it's clear that we're
dentists hi Chuck Christopher Christopher nice to see so Jojo have
them take off your jacket you take off your jacket and then put it
on the floor what's the problem here today no problem don't strain a point
okay great so just morning so now we just got that one yeah
Joe before every last thing you do get verbal consent okay is it okay if I put
this bill on you is it okay if I adjust this verbal consent is it okay for the
chair have you ever had any problems dwarfing okay the file had any problems
with bluffing no lot from now so know what you're off
from Texas what part Houston is that where they just kill the president's
willy-nilly is that is that where they just kill the president's in Houston is
our where happened Oh awesome
Dallas WB genre Oh John John Wilkes Sean walks with a booth shot Kennedy Lincoln
in Houston sweating like crazy in here you're right it's the jacket it's a
clean mouth jacket no blarf John Wilkes Booth shot JFK in Dallas all right so
let me see if the doctors gonna be about ready these are the extra dogs gonna
grab him see if he's ready oh you're Walt's in this yeah I get that
take your woof what's your wallet in my jacket
yeah let me check my notes that's right this is your jacket I checked my notes
I'm gonna show this short to any dentist don't know what you show the shorter me
just don't know what it means probably got to pull about seven teeth
we're back in the mall playing some sudden-death debate we're going
head-to-head tournament style getting strangers to settle our crazy debates
but the topic of the debate will be given to us by the other guys
we must get someone to agree with that stance no matter how ridiculous
I don't know buddy I don't know what you're talking about I just talked me to
agree with excuse me do you want helping selfless a new trial on a bet we're just
trying to decide you're just trying to decide who's the worst son who's the
worst son Sal you think it's you I know that I am the worst son thank you
you think you're the worst son in the world I actually think that I'm a worse
son than him okay give me out I this is that shallick
you pride themselves on being great son this is hard to do to admit you're a bad
son especially when you love your mother so much so okay I have 37 voicemails on
my phone from my mother I don't answer any of it okay because I just don't want
to be ball my mother got remarried and the night of the wedding I hit on a
husband here's the thing I'm gonna hit do an impression of my mother okay
my mother needs to go to the doctor once a week and I will not bring her to the
doctor no see the thing is my mother is parked on the walkway right now with a
car broken down I'm here shopping that's all your Sneaker come on check this out
what's he up to what's he gonna do hey ma what are you
doing I hate you bitch you see what I'm saying you don't do that I can't even
eat you can win I gotta go back to fall I was just a joke I got caught up in the
middle of something tonight I used bad judgment mom that's not how you taught
me to be and I'm really sorry I love you so you can tell my mom I'm a good son
God thanks MA all right I love you bitch so I went yeah
we're inventors conducting a focus group on our brand new product but we have no
idea what it is since the invention was created by the other guys and the animal
asked them how likely they are to buy the product on a show of hands whoever
gets the fewest hands raised loses this is gonna be ugly I'll get it so has
a raised a good okay good yeah thank you for coming in appreciate it I am an
aspiring inventor so I'm here just to showcase some of my prototype slash
products I will show you my first property we drew Joe under the bus right
off the top there's no possible way you can explain this product okay so here we
go I'm excited to show you the product
these here I'm excited about this product
so these DS here I call these are brick flops they're flip-flops with bricks
attached on the bottom behind this is you know about all the rage is the
exercise shoe when you workout with these it focuses on the Achilles tendon
which is the weakest part of the leg so it looks really crummy and those look
like you flip-flops and that's like a really crappy idea I wish you would
speak your mind a little more working out all the rage and the brick flop
really plugs into the market then you put a lot in show no I'm showing them to
you are if you'd like me to of course I'd be more than happy to show
you he's all over that well I mean these aren't my size it's just a prototype did
you spend this about 20 minutes no this is a product I wanted to show you guys I
was excited about this is
that's yo this here is uh glasses with side view mirrors attached the mirrors
are not to use therefore people behind so they can see behind them
these actually are great accessory with the brick flop if you put it all
together I have to be honest and I really cannot imagine anyone where
English is it the color out of all these faces if you had to bake one what do you
think which one you could make a half-baked cannoli
look like an extra on Oz oh wait
hi how are you guys Sal you're scared cat with the order and you said you
wanted a pound of sugar with it okay cat
I'm sorry you startled me okay what can I get my good numbers but
bad words how many tasties you chomping my good numbers bad words how many taste
is you chomping shall coalface have great cats pillow wolf face have gray
caterpillar be pet pet me pet christine you look thrilled to be here at work
Christine yeah you have to go downstairs for something
Christine do your impression of Marie suddenly cleaning the counter you I I
just pinched the sweetest loaf of shortbread you want
I'm mrs. although I just pinched the sweetest loaf of short you want you want
to try yeah no problem do we have that pinched out shortbread
to the caramel huh I find you two weeks ago remember you
stole to find that he's the Cake Boss I'm just the cake bitch you know I
didn't have a pinch at a loaf of shortbread ever see Hamilton you ever
see Hamilton yeah sure did you ever see Hamilton no I don't think that suits
gonna age well I think of 10 years you'll look back and be like why did I
wear this I wanted a little possess you look like a white Steve Harvey
show me possessed hi guys are you guys your arms must move identical to each
other no matter what you do what is your
good date in case you're interested we also do a lot of like exotic you know if
you want to try our all there it travels wasn't where we actually just did a
wedding where we did some exotic animals yeah we brought in a herd of zebra
sometimes where you are turning
where you throw it wet lock-and-key we do a full service from soup to nuts
really guy said that everything she says say I don't follow is helping the venue
cupcakes you know Limbo's yeah we do that and
you're the mother of the bride I am ha Joe you just realized you've had sex
with her again Diane have we had sex
fiancees couple great great Marv you just realize you've had sex
with her when you guys have a date Saturday October 2015
that's excellent what was your name again where you from what rich he's not
gonna pull this off right we actually met he's not gonna do it he's not gonna
do it we actually believe it or not
we met at the mall yeah met at the low-ball years ago today we're dumb
waiters no that's an old-fashioned pulley system
today we're old-fashioned pulley systems are today we are waiters at the Carnegie
Deli well certain customers we must do and say what we're told if you refuse
you lose so weight losses yes Joey yep you ready
yeah guys really go yo I love days like today how are you not dead thank you
guys thanks for coming put the cake down get out there you idiot are you guys all
together or oh no oh you're by yourself Joe make sure she knows she's alone
you're alone yeah got stood up or did you get stood up
traveling by yourself good for you do you want me to take that extra chair
away so it's not a costermonger I can move that chair if you'd like so you're
not a constant reminder that you by yourself that's okay then and then you
have the pickles are you gonna eat all those pickles because again you're by
yourself come on hammer at home Joe I do you want
separate checks oh I'm sorry euro buy yourself some of
this video today we're in the mall playing food court ruling we'll each be
given the test that we'll have to do to one of these people the catch is we
don't know which one and we'll have to keep doing it until we find the person
the other guys have secretly chosen if you can't find the person of the other
guys picked you lose control all right so we're picking this guy right here
dealt with the two chicks it's not the chicks no we did a guy's alright cuz we
gonna do my friends you gotta shoot an obvious evil look in their face oh this
look
right that's it all right Marv you ready going in here
he goes I think it's this guy I think it's this woman in pink right here the
mother here goes nothing keep it moving you better hurry up buddy they leave the
food court you lose Scandinavian woman the shagging broccoli is good ma'am not
are no wrong fella not her I got it it's the two blondes sitting at the table
behind me here the two blogs sitting where right there huh not the one guy
we've been sitting with them there's a table with a couple folks with luggage
I'm right by them yeah I'm right there
good look wrong person I did the two blondes that he was with I didn't oh
damn for the first time ever all four of us will be competing at the same time
we'll be sitting in a waiting room among strangers secretly trying to make each
other less if you laugh you're eliminated and the last man standing
will win
yeah do you guys do all right what do you do if anybody wants my card today we
are teaming off at America's sub shop blimpy while helping customers get their
sandwich on what the two would say what the other guys tell us
if you refuse anything you lose fellas it's go time
Joe stabbed Murray in his throat buddy you don't want to lose fuck you refuse
refuse that I can't lose welcome the blimpy how are you how's it going since
a mother-daughter combo we go easy on you guys just bump into each other a lot
I'm gonna get the Blimpie's best half inch yeah
what's on the French Dip French dish dip that's a swish swish swish with the
roast beef that's on the show juice this isn't real life this isn't real life
your sandwich hey Harry sir everything you orders be like he's doing it this
guys doing it he's doing it six-inch Club what kind of toppings we
like sir guys ramp it up ramp it up sweet peppers
what else we'd like sir you come
so making this sandwich maybe the savings of sandwiches being made but
just a little just a little
anything else yes Amy what is it I want to toast it how do we toast it so
you boys went with the visors Q's looks like if he takes his visor off you might
be bald and everything would come off insane let me get a regular-sized Club
regular size club as you're making this guy's sandwich just punch it he putted
BAM well kind of right we oh we Club
tapas onions shall just punch it right now see
one of the toppings on it yeah black olives destroy those black olives cute
no I'll just drop a elbow on it
one whole cookie Monsignor Farrell high school on Staten Island where we all met
for the ultimate punishment Murray up to a lie detector from the entire student
the faculty staff priests nuns all set and there you go lie detector test oh he
wrote the question welcome to you Polly
all right so the polygraph exam is gonna begin is your name James Murray yes
that's the only one that's gonna get right do you wax your back
all right so the polygraph exam is gonna begin do you wax your back
yes
that's the truth did you ever lie to a priest during a confession
yes I yes yes
you're a bad person but that answer is true do you secretly enjoy boy bands No
that's a lie
did you have a crush on one of your high school Spanish teachers mrs.
Oh see
by the way your ex-girlfriend Tara's here say hello answering truthfully have
you ever cheated on terrif
no I have not
that's a lie so sorry have you ever tried your
girlfriends underwear on
yes but there's a good explanation for that's the truth this is what we can
tell Murray this is the big one no one knows about the story except us
have you ever been somewhat intimate with a stuffed animal
no that's a lie dirty dog
last question does that suck to be a loser yes
hello sir would you like a free sample this is a new salsa in bruschetta we're
thinking of carrying the store we're doing some market research on them so my
questions are this first on the scale of one to ten how much of that taste was
tested we're on we're on your tongue is the fun the next question is them you
want to look at the finger the finger let's specify we think we're talking
about yet my finger your finger so across the board you're not looking any
fingers fingers okay great that's great
next question I'd love to film you eat that again when can we do this I'm
recording different colors will they're gonna figure with this in between
in the restaurant behind us it's a room full of Cougars looking for love at a
speed-dating event and we're gonna go in there right now and date the hell out of
them first dates are weird enough as it is
we're gonna make it 10 times worse for each other right because we're gonna be
wearing an earpiece and we have to do and say whatever the guys tell us to
and if you refuse you lose excuse me gentlemen Papa's got to go catch a
cougar start grilling her right out of the gate
let's go rapid-fire how much you make no how much do you weigh okay do you give
lap dances oh my god I'm Joe Joey nice to know you're going down tell her
you're in the adult toy business
I'm a training program manager for an adult toy line okay you know dildos
what do you do for work I negotiate the relationships between Joe Rock board
Ruben border they take it doesn't sound it at all where's going hi murse start
out with a question that just never ends I want to know the the craziest the
happiest time you but give me like one
time when you went on to like a like a cruise cave going like there's something
you did on your own it was unplanned I'll get to the point
have you ever like gone to the I have you ever been on vacation you're not
really kind of participating Martelli regime the yellow package to be my least
favorite body part would probably be my penis
hi Mitch anemia Lori hi I'm Sal all right Sal hit on our immediately buddy
okay you want to go in the bathroom make out now wow I just felt like you had a
desire that I fulfilled which I do I was born and raised in Staten Island
he is politically correct as you can but I am very liberal I want to adopt an
Indian baby I love Indians all right tell us where you got the world's
tiniest pecker I have a condition and some girls don't like I haven't called
micropenis because of that you looking for someone
who'd be a good fit because of that like like you know I found because of that I
say you cow but you looking for a nice loss what do you what do you do for a
living
all right he goes q q just start looking at a rack
justine call yourself out on all riley need to look at your boobs
I was looking for your nametag I mean I'm sorry I'm like do it again do it now
but they look good they look great call me look at your boobs again start going
way overboard flattering this girl you are imitating gorgeous G Oh double r g r
uz s gorgeous as well she wants kids give a kiss do you want kids if you want
some right now
that's awful that's like I'm like a pirate
speed daters Sal's a speed loser I am condition called micropenis the best
part of this whole thing is he told the hot girl he's got a mini fishing vehicle
we tweak it we all get it we're in the park trying to get people's attention by
saying after we say the guys gonna feed us in a bashing secret that we have to
tell the strange once we share that secret we gotta get then to tell us one
of their own if you can't get someone to tell you a secret get loose here we go
here we go it's like Crouching Tiger Hidden fat guy
tell you something just a little secret here's a secret you're weird that's no
secret I can taste but when I was a kid and I
was a kid dad used to beat me my dad used to beat me at tic-tac-toe I
tic-tac-toe with the belt with his belt
when I squeeze it everything falls into place when I squeeze it everything falls
into place good do you do you want to share a
secret with me okay
I cheated on my wife at the Puerto Rican Day Parade I cheated on my wife I don't
order Rican Day Parade
don't tell her secret I just want to share a secret with me just during the
field ball I'm got new colleagues at work I think I like them
and I don't
I gotta tell you secrets waffles waffles I like them I like them yeah I have that
sugar water that's the secret on top of the secret
to wait could you tell me a secret
I'm black you're black today we have to go up to strangers and say a really
bizarre word - the challenge is to get them to repeat the word back to it
hopefully the words paperback you you gotta get somebody to repeat the word
hambone EMBO hambone you can't do it right now
right there sup dog how much hey do you see you see a book here called um
hambone what's it about it's about bones and in
the ham you know college they called me hambo AM boner so when I heard that this
book was coming out I was like I gotta read it right hambone yeah deal what
sorry what no I'm just like yeah oh I didn't say no
Joe try and get this guy to save Wazzu
uh-huh this is so annoying now I've got like all these bookmarks you know and
now they put the bookmarks in here like included in the book I mean I've got so
many I've got a whole collection I am like up the wazoo and my house like all
up in my wazoo I guess bookmarks and now they just
throw it in it's time for some kind of complaint I mean I was it was filled
with bookmarks it's not ideal situation for you know my uh for the wazoo exactly
right today we're at focus point Global's competing head-to-head as TV
executives pitching our latest ideas the goal is to convince a roomful of
strangers that your ideas are better than the other guys the catch is that we
have no idea what we're pitching because our show ideas have been written by our
opponents at the end we'll ask the group to vote for which one of us had the
better ideas whoever gets the fewest votes loses guys
it's a show about for instance high school right
here we go I have a distinct advantage here because I have worked as a
development executive for a team authority for a decade a few of these
ideas are his real own stupid idea hi guys thank you guys for coming we're
going to pitch you ideas for TV shows and movies I will start this one is
little cheaters watch the tears spill as seven year olds who have just committed
to their first boyfriends and girlfriends see hidden camera footage
that reveals their first significant other being unfaithful 7 though fidelity
knows no age first one I'd like to pitch is not show shrimp Elizabeth Erne of
this docu soap a different family is given excess of leftover shrimp what
will they do with all the extra shrimp
we'll keep going
Jamaican Batman aka bot mom it's the classic story of Batman reggae fine
Jamaican me crazy for my dead parents
you know that you're making Batman if you love that you're gonna love this one
by the way that color pig looks great on you I'll try to curry favor by Coppola
in this behind Rama 15 Nobel Prize winners suddenly dropped dead from heat
exhaustion at the Miss America pageant when the Nobel Prize winners later show
up at the Nathan's hot dog competition no one knows what to think except for
Stephen Hawking who can walk again but won't reveal how noble gases okay next
Samantha brown does it again everyone's favorite travel host Samantha brown is
back doing it again
she was in that show that ran for like eight seasons Samantha brown does it
there's a sequel of Samantha brown does it again eight seasons she travels the
world explores different cultures places she does a show over again again she
does it again when you he's going to all the same places she already wasn't all
the other episodes again
doesn't make any sense I don't care if it's a document or beyond you anybody by
the way here we go doc make my abs hairy women all over the world are flocking to
make their abs hairy webinar and this elective cosmetic procedure that's taken
the world by storm and this document traces its origins from 2005 to
modern-day a mustache yeah poor wonderful Groucho okay which one of our
ideas do you think are more marketable more likely to be used you would say
James okay you would also say James
thank you sir you don't want to look like a million bucks
tonight we're competing head-to-head at a singles mixer posted by the dating app
bumble one of us will be trying to get a girl's number while the other guy plays
his wingman catches the wingman will be doing everything he can to sabotage the
other guy's chances if you get a phone number you win if you don't get a number
the wingman wings we're back in the game boys don't tell my wife
Marche trying to get a number yeah the queues got a sabotage anything
you dish out I could explain away you got that huh guarantee okay what's this
excuse me excuse me my friends been staring at you for 20 minutes he won't
stop it's weird and I apologize I was shoe shy
I'm Erin he's my wingman tonight so yeah like just last night alone would you
take off three different girls last night I'm an uber driver I took it
oh nice you're saying that the girls here are too old I feel like that the
grocery are too old
it's all you were 32 I mean that's the game well played
is to like it too busy forget what you were told school I can be clear say
bidding are you two on a date or you gonna start talking other people started
while own the bar yeah no more Jameson for me are they own a
bar you go there a lot I think it's a gua or you've been gone three times I
know the nuts of Mayor Joe is trying to undercut Sal's credibility the governor
the governor the governor and his family his friends of my family so it's just
food Jeff and Rob because I wrote to the governor yesterday yeah tell about your
depression nice one Joey I
be depressed so can you get your number
really hi everyone how are you alright
everybody welcome to the American airpower Museum I mean Q did to dress
like a pilot better than you did here we have the complete history of American
military flight 93 first flight 1919 first transatlantic flight 1958 the
Boeing 747 built that's the plane most people know 2010 Nicki Minaj claims to
be as fly as a g6 it is a plane used today that is the latest and greatest
and now it is in pop culture as Nicki Minaj 2012 claim unfounded it turned out
as it turns out it took us two years to figure out that she is not as flies to
g6 loudest about two years okay so for once you have tasted flight you will
walk the earth oh I knew we shouldn't use your personal computer for this do
you need to apply the ointment later so airports they got Miami International
Airport there's a pretty ladies there and I actually met pitbull on a recent
flight if you know pitbull mr. worldwide
here we got a Shanghai Pudong Airport it's a funny name
funny name I love that also dope snacks
Amsterdam Airport yeah you go there you having yourself a good time you fly
before you even get on the plane okay
discoveries 1914 automatic gyro stabilizer was discovered by Lawrence
Sperry yes in 1947 the sound barrier was broken by
the one and only Chuck Yeager okay and of course in 1986 dangerzone discovered
lieutenant make them proud Shaw parachutes in 86 lieutenant Nick goose
Bradshaw perishes maverick thanks charlie that wasn't that that was toward
the end of the movie first flight December 17 1903 we mention that
designer the Wright brothers we've heard of those gentlemen of course I always
thought that if the Wright brothers were transgender they'd be called the wrong
sisters that's just a little topical humor my name is Sal Vulcano I'll be
playing the chuckle hut for Saturday 10:00 p.m. in Secaucus that was one of
my jokes or for him the mystery of the Red Baron what
technology what do a fake blonde and an airplane have in common they both have
you they both have a black box now what do I mean by that you guys can find out
what that means 10:00 p.m. in Secaucus is Saturday show Oh Chuck Yeager fax
removal remember Chuck Yeager Yeager would frequently order coffee then when
asked if he took her with milk or sugar respond no thanks
I'm a black guy Yeager with that said he was just kidding and request skim so
that was not quite sure what he meant I don't know with that because that's not
her oh you mean black coffee oh I got an iced tea guy oh that makes a lot more
sense he's not what you're gonna get from me at the chuckle hut no he's got
it he's got a tight 50 10 p.m. Saturday Secaucus
so in conclusion
my show of hands a show of hands how many of you feel like you've learned
something informative that you could take with you here today one two three
four it's a tie well done this is a wishing
well it's for wishin and we're about to tell people what we've been wishing for
unfortunately our crazy wishes have been given to us by the other guys if you
can't tell people what you wish for you lose I wish you would stop that mark how
many chances would take for you to spear one of these fish these are mall fish
they're not normal ocean fish I can spear one of these let me tell you what
I wished for us okay I wish I could have lunch with my grandfather just one more
time I wish that I could have lunch with my grandfather just one more time to
tell them how much I hate them to tell him how much I hate them make it good I
wish with you you know what I wish for that the gerbil would just come out
already
I wish for world peace yeah that's all I wish for just that so if you had one
wish what would it be three new best friends nice
you know I wish for I wished that my girlfriend doesn't find out about Dalton
I I wish that my girlfriend doesn't find out about Dalton the pictures that have
to explain how about you but would you wish for good Dalton's gonna have a
great job later all right man finish your walk take care there you go nice
you know what I wish for I wished that the police don't find the
hammer I wish that the police don't find the hammer because then I'm done I'm
looking down the barrel of eight to ten is that an alarm
alright guys here you go Joe whatever you do salad takes the blame
for and Sal whatever you do Joe takes the blame this is beautiful
you got land
I took that out so you can hear me they're putting these on sale mouth
why'd you get one half this whole section thank you yeah you had the
headphone in I know if you gave me you got a but enjoy shopping man yo you
covered that so quickly that was impressive you were right in there
what's he got up his sleeve
what nailed it sweet fun little game I play with the
total tissue
surprise I got you Joe your turn just wait right here one
second Sal you're dead this is notice from this gentleman over there
hi I asked him to pass that
thank you very much
nicely done fellas two thumbs up
all right introduction to real estate an open-end mortgage by show of hands is
anyone unfamiliar with this term okay what one person's unfamiliar if you
don't know what this is please leave I just gotta wait guys you never make in
the real estate world all right before making a sale ask yourself is it worth
it am i worth it i put my thing down flip
it up and reverse it missy elliott said it best first and
friend Cassander and free and firm that he just bought piece of ass like that
garage you're gonna need to read yeah the whole pavements gotta be redone I
just noticed a crack yes promise this is already in contract somebody somebody
bought that sucker born every minute
most people trust male real-estate agents more because female real-estate
agents cannot be trusted one week a month their sales are in the red it's
not what you're thinking period in fact
90% of you will fail thanks for your money suckers a show of hands how many
people feel like they learn something new here today thank you guys appreciate
it I'm dr. Quinn but you can call me Brian very nice to meet you please have
a seat when did you say the exam was last year you had one last year yeah
okay so I got two eyeballs here well you got two eyeballs sir I do you get
headaches you get to get to get headaches no I don't hate it cuz I get
headaches I get headaches when I wake up drunk in a gutter
sometimes when you wake up drunk in a gutter you wake up with headaches yes on
the floor we hit an eye chart for you could you hang it on the wall
where we got to is fat right does it keeps going though keep going it doesn't
just end there let yes exactly like a fat Rosie
O'Donnell truthful get you to rate for your eye exam today Shawna thank you so
much I'm doctor volcano I'll be doing my best
ok so just sit down all right on your left there just roll over in the chair
and give yourself a pep talk that's all good okay one sec you have
worked for this your whole life you graduated at the top of your class
forget about that cadavers I that you blew up forget about that eyeball in the
Institute people have always liked me leave your baggage at the door leave
your baggage check the door and we're gonna do this one two eyeballs one big
eyeballs let's do it let's do it on a scale from one to ten how much do I
resemble a Super Mario brother right now look out turtle to the turtle look out
hi guys how are you hi welcome he was selling it right now hey welcome welcome
everybody we are carpenters we work here at the
hardware store q I like things like this I like things like people get their
hands dirty people get their hands dirty you don't get it
grab a birdhouse grab a birdhouse for instance okay this is a birdhouse smash
it against the wall
we're not here to fill birdhouse okay we're not making a love nest for
Tweety Bird here alright but first guys but first safety first
safety comes first put on the whole safety gear on the table though so we're
gonna put on okay so yeah put your goggles on what is on your head
I don't know comes with the thing that goes on that goes on your feet now we're
just about ready okay now guys show him how to use duct tape yeah go onto the
wall and put a piece of tape on the wall look at Murray hey looks like you got
caught the paper shredder we're gonna show you first is how to tape something
okay so Q do you want to safety first
any questions on that we'll leave these on kill rip it off right huh they're
disposable so you don't have to take good care of over you know here we go
let's show you some of the other tools here okay Q there's a Halligan tool down
there alright this is used by the FDNY it's used by men I used to be a fire
I used to be a fireman I used to be a man I used to be a man there you go
that's all I had to say about I just wanted to show you a tool that real men
use and that I no longer use that's all the time we have today
that's all the time we have today before we take this vote I'm just gonna break
this class that mario soccer class if you can raise your hands if you think
you learned something useful in that's what we do I'm just gonna shatter this
class guys good luck out there
damnit I don't have a jacket you don't have a dyno and my oh your nipples are
gonna be popping around already you see this already there's a cream
cheese taupe whew almost went down are you guys okay I'm okay yes sir you
alright
no it doesn't seem like you're okay Ahri's got an answer for everyone thank
you thank you very much thank you and thank you for being such a good scenario
you're right all right what do you got there Burnett bananas - bananas
I think the bananas on sale by throne sale
no those were last week I'm sure last week they have the circular over there
the size and I sell them send post-its on this man looks like my old cubicle
all right well hey thanks without oh my god six - five eleven posted to be
honest that guy kinda had to come Eastern on the I let me come on thirteen
posted 760 do you mind if I grab that I'm actually gonna grab the Starbucks or
team Rose is what is the most the most delicious oh sorry sir
nope sir can I ask you a question what do you think or the bite I look like
good like good you're going to eat one dozen cannolis you're not gonna you
gonna get sick I'm not making you do it even for the joke okay I'm your friend
Joe holy five cannolis they gotta be at least a hundred fifty
calories each what do you do this is your in coffee and pastries you just go
go go go let's go you you also had a macaroon so we're at everyone's favorite
store Costco and the challenge today is we will be playing cashiers we're
wearing an earpiece and we have to say whatever the other guys tell us assess
we'll be saying things that normally get people fired and be refuse you lose
we're gonna be the worst cashiers
here we go hello welcome to Costco jean-luc
are you French oh I hate the French I I gotta be honest I hate the French
your total is 272 44 you make it rain make it rain bitch Oh
rip it up great let's just rip it in half what is this I'm sorry that's not
valid that's this is rip there's no valid what's the what's the occasion
with all this cake something good kick the bucket next woman behind you when
you turn around yell milf alert
hey so hard to do are you guys mad shake his hand and congratulate him on
securing such a piece of ass never tell you look like Justin Bieber Hey 1975
Kohl's they want their chest hair back
1975 cold
that's it they just call okay there is a megasale on tampons in Aisle
five q tell her I see you got us juice for tomorrow morning
cool Oh mango juice that's very thoughtful you have that mango juice is
that for us tomorrow one because there's nothing I love in the morning more than
a cold less a mango juice oh oh hello can you just ease up on the attitude
okay Diane I'm gonna ask you to just ease up on the attitude a little bit my
mother I wish you knew how to how to make lamb rack it was all TV dinners my
cigarette burns cigarette burns you're gonna hit the next customer with a hey
mustache sorry mustache um don't call you okay I couldn't even do it mustache
I had I was I wasn't peaking yours you gonna hurt well don't call me clown yeah
call you clown don't call me clown like this all right mustache don't call me
clown won't say nice again each one of these are just one Joe Sheldon actually
if it mere do I feel something between us I'm married so just so you know I
don't want it to get awkward touch them with your nose put your nose on him do
it
Richard what we did what we were told but salad
there is a mega sale do tonight is talk about the different parts of the
investigative process just says everybody here seen evidence bags has
everyone here seen evidence bags proper police evidence bags we actually brought
some for you guys to take a look at we actually brought some so you can take a
little Sal grab that brown box okay here we go so Sal just got back from vacation
who'd made the mistake of leaving his luggage on set so here we have a box of
evidence that was catalogs from a local precinct yeah we went through your
luggage that you left back here and heat sealed everything this is a fitted 7f
380 Yankee cap well broken in okay let's keep going what else you got in that
evidence box buddy what else you got there yeah of course yeah so this is a
belt it's a brown leather belt I got it hmm wait huh the perp got it
this is his glasses and this is his head headphone which he doesn't want people
to touch because it goes in his ears they're all vacuum sealed oh there oh
these are great how these are all they're legitimately
vacuum is here you can't open it right so I'll try to open it and you can't you
can't open where we're grown man okay Murr it's time for you to test the
audience I'm going to give you guys a little test look down there this little
canister of potato chips so there's we have potato chips over here so I'm gonna
give you guys a little fingerprint test we're going to give a little fingerprint
test holy you were supposed to give it to the guy in yellow but you over did
you dope guys grab that tray for a blood splatter examination the last thing we
like to talk about is how you measure blood yes now another part of forensics
is physics use that yard to do the trajectory of the bullet right let's say
the bullet entered my chest it's coming from here now where does the blood go
let me show you fill your mouth with water
bend down yeah so if I'm like freeze I now just spit take all of us out
all right mark fill your other water bend down and I'll
just spit take all of us out so I'm like freeze bang now sell a
headshots totally different so if he shot me here in the head and I was
saying this one what's on a single shot a machine gun could do anything like by
show man yes learn something value today it's just one hey guys you're all wet
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