Hello boys and girls.
In case you haven't figured it out by now, I'm a bad influence.
In this video I'm going to be showing you how to get sick fast so you can miss school.
I'm going to walk you through a morning routine that if you execute properly, your
parents will be begging you to stay home… begging you.
Come on, you don't need school.
School's for fools!
"Queries of the Interweb."
How's it going guys, Joel here and I amusing answer questions that are searched for every
single day on the Interweb.
Smash that subscribe button, hit that notification bell so that you don't miss anything.
I mean you're already skipping school so it's not like you have anything better to
do anyways.
For the love of God, clear your browsing history okay.
I don't need your mom finding this video on your computer or on your phone and then
messaging me with an angry email saying that I'm a bad influence on your son, or daughter.
Unless of course your mother is single, in which case she can send me as many angry emails
as she wants.
I could be your new daddy if you're not careful.
Now that my face is in your life, let's talk about how you can get sick fast to miss
school.
So when you wake up in the morning, the first thing you need to remember is slow motion
okay, you want to take things in slow motion.
What this means is everything you do, you're going to do extra slowly.
This immediately is going to help you build credibility towards the fact that you are
sick, which we both know you're not.
You're going to get out of bed, really slowly, put on your clothes really slowly.
Everything needs to be a chore for you okay.
Walk up the stairs really slowly.
Everything you do, do it slowly.
Make them think that you are tired and weak and doing it slowly will convince them.
So remember, first thing, slow motion.
The second think you need to remember for this routine, is you hate food okay.
Food is your enemy.
This works best on a day when your mom is making you your favorite breakfast.
The fact that you're not eating your favorite meal, is going to be a big red flag to your
mother.
You're going to sit at the table and you're just going to pick at your food okay.
If your favorite thing is waffles, you're going to pick the crap out of those waffles.
These changes in behavior are what signal to your parents that you actually might be
sick.
If you just come out and say, "I'm sick," nobody's going to believe that crap.
So you're moving slow, and you're not eating your food.
BOOM.
Mamma knows somethings up.
Now when mommy asks you, "sweety, what's wrong?
Why aren't you eating your waffles?"
How you respond is very important.
Now if you can do something to your voice to make it sound raspy, that would be even
fantastiker, more fantastic.
I actually made an entire video on how to lose your voice.
The link is in the description for that.
But when you respond, you're going to say, "I'm fine, everything's okay."
And then you're going to keep picking at your food slowly.
It's very important that you convince her that you want to go to school.
If you can get her to come up with the idea for you to stay home, that is what you want.
This next rule you need to remember is you need to be tripping.
Not in the, "I'm cool," sort of way, but in the… you're actually tripping.
If you're moving slow, if you're picking at your food, it's very important that your
parents see you stumble a couple of times okay.
Don't overdo this.
Don't do it like ten times 'cause that will obvious, but when you're walking, kind
of make yourself trip a little bit, or faint a little bit, or lose your balance.
When your parents see that, they're going to freak out and it's very important that
after you trip be like, "Oh, I'm okay, I'm fine, I'm…
I'm good.
Can I…
Can I go to school now?."
Oh no young man, you are staying home.
When you hear those sweet words, Don't celebrate like an idiot.
Play it cool.
Be like, "Oh are you sure I…
I really should go.
You know it's…
It's very important that I get there.
Young man, I don't want to hear it.
You are staying home and you are staying in bed.
Now obviously I you do this every single day they're going to catch on but if you just
do it once in a while, like maybe once every six months or so, you could probably get away
with it.
If any of you actually successfully pull this off, for the love of God share it in the comments.
I want to read all about, and so do the other people watching this video.
What are those three rules again?
Slow Motion, food is your enemy, and always be trippin'.
Social Media links are above my head if you want to stock me.
If you want to see some more self destructive advice, you can go ahead an look at these
videos over here, and if you want to see somebody who's seriously failing at life, you can
look in the mirror, yeah.
For more infomation >> Baby Coloring book and drawing for Kids Youtube videos for kids #50 - Duration: 10:13. 
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