All right here we go. The truth will set you free.
Well first it'll get you in a lot of trouble probably and then, then it,
it will actually set you free. Yep. I think that's how it actually works.
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The truth will set you free. Well first it'll get you in a lot of
trouble and then it'll set you free. And possibly end a few relationships, but hey
you got to figure out of his worth right. So, as I alluded to before, my wife and I
were going through a pretty rough patch. A lot of stuff going wrong, health,
emotional, financial two-degree. Just, just a whole lot of bad stuff accumulated
over a number of years and I was becoming the worst of the worst.
It's just the worst person I could be and I was desperately looking for any
way to slow down, but what to me was a freight train. Well let me rephrase this.
I was basically a freight train out of control
and I just couldn't figure out any good way of stopping who I was becoming. So I
was just reaching out for any answer I could find. Any silver bullet or anything
to just slow down the momentum because I just couldn't seem to get it under wrap.
And I watched a TED talk and if I can find it again, I'll link it in the
description down below or the comments, about, you know, going to people and
basically getting anything that you're you feel guilty about or haven't told them
that's you know, basically something you're hiding from them.
And there was nothing really, that I was hiding from my wife, or not being
truthful about that was related to the situation but I did find two things that
when I thought about em and my wife not knowing about it. It did, it just didn't make
me feel good and so I told her those two things. And you know it's one of the
things that started getting me back on a better path. It wasn't, I wouldn't say it
was one of the biggest things but it was definitely a contributing factor. So with
the whole true thing, with my wife's little unique because she knows a lot of
stuff about me that normally someone wouldn't know without you telling them.
And that's because she was my sister's friend really before she had anything to
do with me and my sister basically told her all sorts of stuff about me, that
that normally you know just someone you were dating or met wouldn't know unless
you told them. So yeah. She has basically like a lot of insider information
already. So there wasn't a lot to divulge but there were two things. And actually I
felt guilty about them and then after I told her it did relieve, not a
significant part of the issues we were having, but it relieved some of the guilt
from me for just never telling her these things. And I've used this with
other people, stuff I felt guilty about not saying to them, or keeping back, and
it's at various effects, right. It has relieved some of the stress and
guilt from me. It hasn't completely destroyed any relationships I've had but
be honest it has strained some of them.
But there was already a strain there by keeping the stuff hidden. So I don't know
on this one for me I think being truthful
for me, trying to think how to word this. Well I hate when I get like this because
it turns the editing job into a pain in the ass. Oh my god it's like shoving a
hot coal up there. Just sucks. I wouldn't recommend a hot coal up your
ass. You know cauterizing the poop shot and it's not a smart thing to do.
Anyway. So yeah, mileage may vary with this right but the thing is if you've
got something that you're holding back from somebody and every time it pops
into your mind, you feel guilty about it. There's a good chance you should just
throw that out there and get it off the table because it's straining your
relationship in the background. It really is because there's always this hidden
stress. There's always this hidden stress back there, on the back of your
mind. So anyway. Yeah I mean being truthful is something, I think a lot of
people are missing out on nowadays. A lot of the stuff is very facade based, very
putting up fronts, and a lot of fake it till you make, it kind of BS. Especially,
with the internet people trying to be something they're not
and it's very easy to misrepresent yourself. So being truthful I
personally feel that it goes a really long way but just in dealing with
anybody. And I'm not saying being truthful to be hurtful. You know. I'm
talking more about stuff that you feel guilty about saying and there is a way
to be truthful with somebody and there's a way to be a bull in a china shop. And
with me even some of the people I was honest, completely honest with stuff
about my personality probably made it. Well there's no probably to it - it made it
worse than it was because I was just blunt and it really should have been
presented a lot, just a lot better. I mean there's
ways to word stuff. You know "that's an ugly-ass dress" versus "that dress is not
very flattering on you" or something. So see, even, even then I'm not very good at
this shit. So yeah. I should have thought about it more and presented it
in a better manner. Just a lot better manner and it would have made it
probably - it still would have sucked talking to em about it but at the same
time, we wouldn't have to get through the "wow you just, that was really a dick
thing to say" versus "wow that was really a painful thing for you to say." You know.
I don't know if that differentiate there it makes sense to everybody but you know
what I mean, hopefully. Who knows but honesty and being truthful with people
it really is a good way to go about life. It's a really good way to clean out
stuff and there's a chance it will destroy some relationships. There's a
chance that it'll strain them for a while but the ones that last through
that strain and are able to - to mend when the truth is all out there, they'll be
stronger and the guilt that you're carrying around; and the shame that you
have for whatever it is; it'll be gone. You know, when you're carrying
around lies and you're carrying around deceit, it's death by a thousand cuts.
And while just throwing it out there on the table, may be one big punch to the
face, it takes a week or two to get over a punch to the face but death
by a thousand cuts you never heal from because you're
always getting another little cut, ans another little cut, and another little cut.
You just - it just never heals. So something to consider.
For me, it's worked really well everywhere that I've applied. It although
it was painful and - and what I'm talking about being truthful I'm not saying you
have to make your life an open book to everybody at all because, believe me my
life I'm pretty open up open about a lot of things but there are certain things
I'm just not going to tell other people. And that's not being deceitful, it's just
you know, it's not really something I want to discuss with them.
More on this truthfulness is being truthful to yourself, is being truthful
with something that pertains directly to somebody, right like, let's say you have a
really bad habit and you're hiding it from your spouse. You know it's that
little deceit there where you can just tell them "hey look you know I do this."
Right and there's big ones too, you know. There's big deceits you can do to that
just - yeah - just get it out there. You know you can
play the game and hopefully it'll never blow up in your face and all that, but it
is causing a strain. And if it's not, well you may want to go see a psychologist
about that. Because usually that starts getting into sociopaths and stuff of that nature.
Which hopefully nobody is. Who knows. Anyway. So yeah, be truthful with others.
Be honest. Don't be like me and be so blunt about it, where the truth gets lost
in the in the presentation. Oh yeah, yeah, I'm- I'm a work in progress people but uh
that's just short and sweet one man. Being honest with others. Don't put on a
facade. You're gonna - Number one you're gonna get a lot more people on your side.
You're gonna get a lot more - you're gonna get a lot better, stronger, healthier
relationships by having them based on honesty and yeah you may lose some
because of it but that's okay because you're gonna strengthen the ones that
are more pure of heart and that uh have a better more solid foundation to build
upon and that's just a wonderful thing. It's a win-win in the long term and
is really crappy in the short term but there you go. Love all you guys. Take it easy.
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