Where and how do we draw the line between loving unconditionally and
becoming a doormat so we need to understand this what's being right now
passed around as laughs he's generally
mutual benefit scheme you give me this I'll give you that if you don't give me
that I don't give you this this is not said but it's done it's done isn't it
it's not said so human beings have physical psychological emotional
economic social and various other kinds of needs to fulfill these things when
you say I love you instead of making these things ugly
needs that we have to agree transactions that we have to do you give me this you
give me that to bring some aesthetic and beauty to this transaction we coat it
with a certain amount of sweetness of emotion which we call as love effect
where the transactions happen more smoothly because once we are human
somehow doing basic transactions in a basic way makes us feel ugly if you take
food with both your hands and eat it it's ugly
isn't it we want to eat in a certain way similarly to fulfill our physical needs
emotional needs economic needs we have Arrangements where we can
conduct this in a more aesthetic manner I'm not saying it's right or wrong this
is the factor of life so this level of love I call this this is enough for to
fulfill the domestic needs of once you know for two people to live together the
fulfill their needs to produce children to raise them domestic level of love
affair people can have but if people want to have a love affair which will
bring them to an ultimate union then not many people are competent to do
that not people not many people are ready to have that kind of a love affair
Verity make two lives into one to becomes actually one in experience that
will need something more most people are competent of using love to fulfill the
domestic needs but to go beyond that they are not ready and when I say
they're not ready either and I'm not talking about this person of that person
so when one is ready and another is not ready or one is making an effort and
another doesn't have the effort then it feels like somebody is becoming a
doormat that is what it is that it feels like they're being exploited but above
all one who is longing to become used now as a way of ultimate union should
not be bothered about being doormat this and that in India we have a culture
where by choice people name themselves as slaves
you know ROM discretion does this does that does what is it they're openly
saying I'm a slave I'm a doormat I want to be a doormat they're not saying am i
afraid I'll be used as a doormat they saying I want to be a doormat so this is
a kind of love that they are wanting to use to use for ultimate union this is
not for domestic purposes so if you're looking for altima Union then love is a
different affair if you're looking for conducting of domestic affairs
then you must manage dignity who gets what if anybody is using more than what
they should then if you don't give me that I don't give you this okay
otherwise if you're looking for alternate Union you should not think of
all these things that's a different effect
that's not for not much social thing if you fall in love itself you become
vulnerable to somebody without becoming vulnerable there is no love of half you
have to fall when you fall somebody may raise you or somebody may walk over you
but the thing is that the experience of your life is beautiful because you fell
not because they raised you not because they walked over you because you
could actually have the sense of abandoning you to fall that was the
beauty of your love affair not what they gave you what they did to you this know
the beauty was you said alone and you think you really love this person so
much you willing to die that was the most beautiful moment not the moment
they gave you a big gift not the moment they gave you a diamond ring not the
moment they said this and that about you know you just sat here and you willing
to die that was the moment not just a doormat you're willing to be the dust on
their feet okay I am NOT saying you should be like that I am saying we're
loud transformed itself into your devotion if you fall in love itself you
become very vulnerable but there are still some shreds of sanity in love
affairs that you can recover but if you become a devotee there is no sanity left
and you cannot recover so before you trade such a land you must see whether
you offer it or not what are your goals first of all if your goal is to make a
life a cautioned a very measured love affair is good but your your your thing
is you want to dissolve into the process of life you don't want to have a good
life you're not planning to have a good life you just want to become an
explosion of life you don't care what you get and what you don't get then you
become a devotee devotion means it's your intention to dissolve into your
object of devotion so a devotee is not expecting whether I'll become a doormat
or a crown on somebody's head whatever I become as long as they can touch your
feet or head or whatever it's fine with me
so that's a different state of existence I don't think somebody who's looking for
domestic level of love affair should even ask that question
you
you
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