Greetings and welcome to Awakening With Brahma Kumaris.
Sister Shivani is with us. Welcome, Sister.
Om Shanti.
Om Shanti Sister. We were reading Murli.
The title of the Murli we were reading was
To be free from Par-Mat, Par-Chintan and Par-Darshan.
And become a Par-Upakari.
Baba says that we have got Shrimat now.
Which means we are getting Gyan everyday.
So we should not listen to news from here and there and mix Srimat with Parmat.
If somebody comes and shares information with you
First of all we need to pay attention whether it is useful to us.
We cannot do anything about it
Then we should not listen to that.
When we don't even know a person
What will we do listening to it? How is it useful?
And even if we listen to them once, then the person sharing information
He will keep pouring information as if we are trash cans.
If family or close friends
Whom we need to listen to, because their sharing things pertaining to them
When they share with us then we should have the strength within us
That while listening we should first put a full stop inside our mind.
And second - the person about whom their sharing
Our opinions about that person should not change.
There should not be bitterness.
When we do that, then the person sharing it
We will be able to put a full stop in his mind also.
So we will be benefiting him.
This becomes par-upkar.
But a majority do not take care
Listening to information gradually and regularly
Their perspectives and opinions change.
Baba says that the opinions of a majority of the people changes.
The opinion changes even while sharing information.
When somebody is sharing information, his own perspective gets added to it.
So whatever he shares, his perspective changes at that time also.
Someone says - I saw two people talking.
This is a situation.
where someone says - I saw two people talking.
Listening to him the other person says
They were not even standing cordially.
So that was a Second addition. The third person says - they are always like that.
One after the other.
It means when information passes on through many people
It becomes like Chinese whispers.
Nobody will speak a lie
Everyone is saying the truth
But the truth is through the sanskaar of his perspective.
When one piece of information passes through four people
It means there are four filters in between.
It means the lens of four Sanskars are in between
One lens magnified the information.
Another lens made it appear in a particular way.
So the information changes.
By the time it reaches us, that news may not even be true.
Even if it is true Baba says that it is not of any use to us.
Even if it is from our family or friends
We need to pay attention to what they are sharing with us also.
Because the perspective of their Sanskars keeps getting added.
Their perspective changes the information quite a lot.
Often information changes by the time it reaches us.
This is Par-mat which has passed through four people
As the opinions of 4 people got added into it.
You mentioned that the daughter might come to the parents house and complain.
Suppose the daughter says - my husband was saying like this.
She shared it with her mother.
Then the mother shared it with her husband.
And the husband shared it with his son.
It is family and people are concerned and care for each other.
But when information passes from one soul to another
It does not transfer as it is.
So when we are listening to some information
We need to first pay attention
How many peoples sanskars this information has passed through.
Even if we want to do something about the situation we need to first gather original information.
Even if I am getting my biography written
Then the person writing my biography will interpret in such a way that the meaning
Change is a little and the reader will interpret in a more different way
Another reader will interpret it even more differently.
And if somebody translates it into a different language.
That will also change but nobody is lying.
Even if I am getting my life history written
If you got it written in English and if it is translated to Hindi by somebody else
Then the translator's perspective will also get added to it.
So how much care we need to take
The information coming to us
What is the truth and what has it become by the time it reaches us.
If we do not take the right information
Then the decision we take or the advice we give
And the perspective we create of the information about whom we are hearing
How many Karmas will get created in the process?
Then we share it with other people and put it into their Minds also.
The information goes into a cycle.
The best thing is when somebody is sharing with us about a third party
I should not put a label about that person
I should not form any impression about him
Because as soon as I form an impression, I will send similar vibrations to him.
I will send them to the person sharing information also. Next when I share it with someone
I will share it with the same point of view
For example if a daughter complains to the parent that her husband scolded her.
I will add a label that her husband is bad. Although she would not have used that word for him.
When I share it with my wife she will add some more labels
That he is 'Very' bad, not just bad.
So isn't this making Karma?
You decide. Isn't this making Karma?
Yes a Karmic account is getting created.
We are also poison so many people's minds.
More important, the person about whom we are hearing or sharing - what vibrations are we radiating to him?
What is their opinion and how much the information gets changed
These opinions of other people will spoil the environment.
Environment here could be our house, our workplace, or the world.
When information keeps passing like this it spoils our environment.
So one reason for wasting time is to take people's opinions
Second reason is par-chintan.
Which means thinking about other people.
When we listen to information from one person, it is not possible that we don't share it with 8 or 10 other people.
Will listen to one person and share that information with others.
Even if somebody lives in the different country, we write to them - something new has happened here, will share it with you when you come here next time.
This is of the times when we would write letters.
Now there is no question of letters, we immediately share information.
So this becomes par-chintan.
Suppose you share it with 4 people.
So you spoilt the perspective those 4 people had about that person.
When you shared about a person with four people
Then the perspective of those 4 people about him got spoilt
Earlier only you are thinking about that person and now after you shared it with 4 people
Now five of you will think about him.
Once we start thinking about somebody its speed will be fast and the duration will be long.
It's very fast.
If 1 tree in a forest catches fire
Then very quickly the remaining please also catch fire because it spreads fast.
Thinking about others does not end in one or two seconds.
Baba says that when we are sharing Gyan with somebody
Then to evoke interest in him we share it in the form of a story.
First this happened, then what happened and after that what happened...
Interest increases isn't it?
Likewise when we think about somebody, that will be a lot of interest.
When we are sharing with somebody they will also be interested to know what happened next.
They will say - next this might have happened. So the story will go on for a very long time.
The listener will share what happened with him also if he had a similar experience.
That person is like that, he did the same thing when I met him.
I have heard the same things about him from others also.
That is why Baba says that the speed of thinking about others
It is very fast and goes on for a very long time.
So the second aspect is par-chintan.
Someone who is busy in Par-Chintan will not engage in Swa-Chintan
I'm just thinking that somebody who is always thinking of other people - how weak the soul must be.
Because what is the quality of our thoughts when we think of other people?
We think about his weaknesses and mistakes.
We are thinking about his karmas which we feel are wrong.
Whatever we keep thinking, we start becoming like that.
So we don't think about ourselves but we think about others.
Someone engaged in thinking about others will blame other people even when it is his mistake.
Responsibility of my own state of being - my mind
There is no power, and there are no thoughts about myself.
If I think about myself and check myself
If I have realisation about myself I will take responsibility.
Of what I am thinking and how I am feeling.
But if I am thinking about others the whole day
Then I didn't check myself
Then for everything that gets created in my mind, I blame other people.
Person who thinks of others will blame other people for his mistakes.
Such people will be number one in making up stories.
They get into a habit of making stories
You just sit with such people and they will start sharing so many stories with you.
Baba says they learn the art of making up stories.
They share very long stories.
Even if it is their own mistake they establish it to be somebody else's mistakes in such a way
The listener will believe and keep quiet.
Sounds like a true thing.
So there is no responsibility for our mistakes but blame others
In such a way that the listener will believe us.
This is not called Swa-Chintan or thinking about the self
Just listening to Gyan, repeating them or sharing it with other people does not mean we are doing Swa-Chintan
We say we are doing Swa-Chintan and studying Gyan
But Baba says this is not Swa-Chintan.
That will listen to Gyan or share it with others
Swa-Chintan means even our subtle weaknesses
And smallest of mistakes - we need to think and analyse them and finish them.
And bringing about a change - this is Swa-Chintan.
Beautiful.
So now we have to underline this.
If somebody makes up a story that he is not wrong
That it is somebody else's mistake
If he cannot speak the truth or take responsibility
Then he is lying to himself also.
They are not lying but they are believing.
If I scold my staff I will say I did the right thing
He did something so wrong.
Similarly that person will keep on making up stories and keep lying.
And the listener might endorse his views.
They will say - many people are like that, they don't understand any other language.
When you are thinking about him
And sharing it with others
What happens to Swa-Chintan?
Swa-Chintan means a subtle checking of the self
He did this, but what was my reaction?
Baba has said that we should not form Impressions based on the information we receive.
Suppose as you said - the staff made a mistake and I scolded him.
So we start thinking about him that he is like this and we share it with others.
While doing all this when did we do Swa-Chintan? What were we supposed to do?
Here Swa-Chintan means I analyse that I could have conveyed the same thing to my staff with love.
I could have done it differently. It is like I scene in a movie
An actor can enact that scene in many ways.
Swa-Chintan means how was my reaction?
And what does Par-Chintan do?
Par-Chintan means what did he do?
Par-Chintan means we're thinking about the other person.
What he did wrong, what he did the other day and so on.
So if first think about other people and then we share it with four more people.
So we stained the mind of those 4 people also.
If I had done Swa-Chintan in the beginning itself
I would never engage in Par-Chintan
I would have improved myself and apologized to my staff.
If we had not engaged in thinking of other people then there would not be a question of sharing it with others.
Whatever we prepare here is what we feed other people.
Whatever goes on here is what we share with other people.
Then the soul will become so clean if we don't think of other people.
The soul becomes lighter.
Powerful also.
Baba says Swa-Chintan
Will power increases because soul power increases.
Then the person can do whatever he decides to do.
Baba says Swa-Chintan doesn't mean that we just listen to Gyan, read it or share with others.
Swa-Chintan means we identify our weaknesses
And analyse our slightest mistakes also
So we finish them and change ourselves.
This is Swa-Chintan.
Which means no matter what the other person did to us
What should I be thinking about?
About how I should respond.
If we want to share it with somebody else also
Because we say it feels nice to share it with somebody
Then we need to discuss with them only one thing - about how I should respond to the scene.
After listening to all this
I share with my wife that I made a mistake by scolding the staff
I will tell her to console that staff member lovingly
So there are many changes happening.
We feel light and nice.
The vibration you are sending him has changed.
When we are thinking of somebody then those thoughts are not going on Just here
The vibrations of your Par-Chintan are reaching that soul also.
What vibrations will you get in turn from him?
I had never thought of it.
Years ago I had scolded somebody.
He just went to his room and returned only the next day.
For how long would he have thought of you that day?
He might have cursed me so much that day.
So the soul got depleted first time while scolding him
Second time when you are thinking about it afterwards.
Third time when the vibrations returned from that side.
Fourth time when you shared it with other people.
Fifth time when they also create similar thoughts.
Because of one small incident so many people's soul power is depleting
But if we had stopped it at the first stage
Even if we had created anger at him
Then if we stopped it at the first stage to check why I reacted that way
Did I have another way?
Then we are thinking about ourselves - Swa-Chintan is happening.
This means you are not blaming the person who made a mistake.
So the vibration which will reach him from you will change.
And so he will not take one whole day to return.
He will be healed quickly. We don't always need to say sorry.
If we just internally change the vibration radiating from us
The other person will quickly change and come back.
Can you give an example?
You said when you scolded your staff he went to his room and stayed there for an entire day.
He returned the next day.
Which means he was very heavy for an entire day.
Why was he feeling heavy?
First time when you scolded him he felt heavy.
Even after he returned to his room what vibrations was he getting from you?
But suppose even after scolding him, if you had changed the quality of vibrations radiating to him from you
If you had sent the sorry from here - from within
Instead we keep thinking about his mistake and justifying our actions.
We will blame him for all the drama of going into the room and locking himself there.
So a lot of wrong vibrations keep going to him.
So how will he come back immediately when he becomes more ill with all those negative vibrations reaching him.
So we have the power.
With Par-Chintan we escalate the problem and increase our pain.
With Swa-Chintan we Heal ourselves and we do not poison anybody else's mind also.
We save ourselves from so many Karmas.
It's a simple checking.
Baba says that listening and sharing Gyan
All of you are good at it. But it is only a churning of Gyan.
But Swa-Chintan essentially means checking the self.
Anyone who inculcates Gyan
Will be a natural Yogi.
Anyone who inculcates Gyan will be a natural Yogi.
Anyone who applies Gyan in practical life
It's not just about listening and sharing it.
Anyone who inculcates Gyan will be a natural Yogi.
His life will be a yogic life it will not be Bhogi life. Bhogi means 'Bhogna' which means suffering.
Bhogi means suffering.
So if there is no suffering then you are experiencing a life of yogi.
You shared that first you scolded him and then you thought of him for a very long time.
Which means for that entire duration we were suffering.
We were suffering even our Par-Chintan
But if we had moved on to Swa-Chintan
If we had inculcated Gyan, then we would move to Yogi life which means light.
We feel light and good.
And peaceful which means Yogi life.
Baba says he will be a natural Yogi.
If we want to increase soul power
Then then Gyan you share or the values you talk about
First you check for all those within yourself.
Because if Seva earns one mark, then inculcating Gyan will fetch us10 marks.
Seva means - when we share Gyan with others
When we forward good message to somebody
Then how much will our soul power increase? By one mark.
It means 1%.
But if we inculcate imbibe that point of Gyan
Then 10 %.
Even if you are unable to share Gyan, then just by imbibing Gyan
You will influence others
By your vibrations you can influence others
And serve them also.
So Seva does not mean just sharing Gyan.
Seva happens when we implement Gyan in our life
Then with our vibrations, we will automatically serve other people.
If in the process of serving somebody your own state depletes
And if it disturbs you, then will that seva truly be a service?
What will be a visible fruit of that seva?
Seva done out of truth, love and other people's blessings
Then the visible fruit of that seva will be happiness.
But if we add our feelings in that seva then we call it flu
Feeling here means feelings of hurt
Baba says then after that it will result in a flu of feelings.
Someone with the flu does not even have food but will only sleep.
So even here if somebody creates feelings of hurt he will just become upset and sit quietly.
One is flu for the body and the other one is a flu of feelings for the soul.
Baba says in whatever aspect that you are an instrument of Seva
Taking care of family is Seva
Even the work we do at workplace or business or business is Seva
While doing that seva if our state of mind gets disturbed
Then how will we serve other people?
A true Seva done with a lot of love and blessings
Its immediate visible fruit or result is happiness.
Taking care of everyone and taking up all responsibilities
But doing it with love, with sincerity and blessings
When we radiate good vibrations to people we automatically get blessings from them.
Its practical proof will be happiness.
But if we don't do it and become heavy within, then we get a flu of feelings.
We become angry or upset.
But if you apply Gyan in practical life
If you serve truly and not out of selfishness
Which means whatever we are doing
Doing it selflessly and not selfishly
A true Seva Dhari is one who does a lot but never expects anything in return.
We are taking care of the family
But we don't have expectations in return
Selfish service means
Where our state of mind
Is dependent on their behaviour so we want something from them.
Is it selfish to expect appreciation?
Very much, because when we don't get appreciation what happens?
When we don't get we leave the expectation.
We will not leave the expectation of getting appreciation.
If I am single handedly doing a lot of work for my family
Maybe because others don't like to work or because I like it.
I like it so I should be happy while doing it.
We always need to pause and ask ourselves why am I doing it.
If somebody doesn't appreciate doesn't a thought come that nobody is recognising our efforts.
Why are you doing it?
Maybe because nobody else is ready to work.
Even if nobody else is working why are we doing it?
Because we want that everything is fine.
Whose Desire is this? Ours.
So for our own happiness we are doing all this.
So if I want that everything is fine and that is my own desire
And when I do something which I Desire personally, then why should I expect appreciation from anyone?
And if you expect appreciation but do not get it from others
Then while serving them what is happening to our state of mind?
Then the person is unhappy while doing everything
Then it does not become care or Seva because we are not radiating good vibrations
We are getting disturbed and Baba calls it as - we are getting feelings
And suppose instead of appreciation we get criticism?
It happens so often.
Then how disturbed will we get?
This is a very delicate checking
We are doing Seva which is true Seva and not out of selfishness.
No expectation of getting anything in return.
When it is true Seva and we earn blessings
Then the practical proof is that the soul is happy.
Thank you so much, Sister.
Om Shanti.
Om Shanti.
Thank you.
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