So I have never blogged properly ever before so this is a new new thing for me
so if it's not too good then please bare with me, I will improve with practice.
I just wanted to vlog today and be a bit honest and truthful about... like, my
thoughts and feelings and... cause I've only been doing this for just over a
week now so I guess I wanted to talk about... yeah, my thoughts and stuff.
Nothing too serious. I just want to be real because then I think like other people
can connect with the way I'm feeling, because I'm sure there's a lot of other
people who feel the exact same way I am feeling right now which is that last
week I had my schedule all planned out and I was on track with it completely...
yeah everything worked it was good and then... yeah, on Monday and Tuesday I was a
lot more, like, off track. My mind wasn't as focused as it was last week and some
things weren't working well. But yeah for this week I've been a bit off, also because on
Monday I gymmed in the morning and went really hard, came home, had lunch -- which was
just, like, chicken salad, then had a shower and washed my hair, and came out of the
shower and I was like "ok! Ready to get to work now!" and then my brain just didn't
work. All I needed was carbs, like my brain was just like "gimme carbs!". And then
I started getting into work but the work wasn't really going to plan either.
I kind of like gave it a rest that night and then planned to get back into it full force
on Tuesday. But, like... my head just wasn't... I couldn't concentrate as well as I did
last week and things kept going wrong, and so this morning
I wanted to vlog, talk about this, and then... like, talk about getting back on track
before it gets too bad. So, this morning woke up, going to force
myself to go to the gym and do that because going to the gym helps me stay
on track with my schedule. I've written down a to-do list of what I need to do
today, so I'll gym, come home, wash my hair, and then get into that to-do list.
Soo... yeah, I gave you a bit of background information now so I'm going to go get
changed, go to the gym... which I don't feel like
doing but I'm going to do it because it'll make me feel better.
And it'll probably help my head as well, my focus. Soo, I'll see you then, Bye!
I always like making my bed because it always makes me feel more organized and
put together in the morning, to get ready to go... and do some... things! Okay now I am
off to the gym and to look a bit better than this -- my freshly woken up face.
Just being real with you guys, this is the real me!
And this is my lunch, which I put sweet potato in because I was so hungry yesterday
for carbs, so I'm eating them today.
And Hugo's got his little plastic cup!
Aaawwww look at your face! You guys wondering what
what my camera is? Mmm! Aww now you just want my lunch.
Now my lunch looks huge because
it's got lettuce all underneath it, so... I've got lettuce, tomato, avocado,
mushrooms, chicken, and sweet potato. And I haven't got any dressings on it yet
because I forgot about it, but I might put on some olive oil and I've
also got some balsamic vinegar.
And my hair is all washed so yay! Clean!
So I'm having another coffee and ooft, how good does that look?!
Omnomnomnom! Maybe not in that super bright lighting, but... you want some coffee?!
I can't zoom because of one-handed, but AWW you so cute!! Heeheeeee.
Okay I gotta go upstairs.
Haaayyy! HUGO! When did you do that?!
You must have done that in the last like ten minutes!
Whhyyy? Why, Hugo, Why?!
Whyyy?! Whhyyy! Why?
so this is a very flattering angle, but I need to get ready because I gotta go
shopping and buy some things that I've been putting off for ages.
Look at this! Look at this little... Do you see that?
Oh my god! Okay I have no eyebrows so I need to do those, badly.
Check this out...
He's just staring at the shower!
What's in there?! Huh?!
So yeah Matt and I actually realised
just an hour ago that it was our two year anniversary, uhh... I think two days ago.
Pretty sure it's the 26th of June. And then it's his--- STOP THAT! What are you doing, Hugo?!
Why are you scratching at the bath mat?!
I am just beautiful today. Just BEAUTIFUL!
look at that, ah! Spot on!
I have needed to go shopping and buy sooo many things in
the past several months and I just haven't done it because every time, like
I'd be working my full-time job, and then I'd come home and be like
"nope I can't go out shopping because I need to do work"
and then it just... you repeat that every week
for the next several months, and you never go shopping.
Okay.
Gonna put some of this on my bloody acne at the moment.
the a-- ahem! Correcteur Naturellement
Ray-dee-ooze.
See, ah! Baa-yoooo-tiful!
What are you doing now? You're just so naughty! He's so naughty!
You looking at yourself in the mirror? Look at that little face!
You're so cute! Look at that little face! Can you see yourself on the screen?
You're just so cute! Look at you! Aww look at that face!
But you're being so naughty!
Anyway
BYE! I'm gonna go shopping-- HEY!
Stoooppp that!
So, I've been to the shops and I bought things that I needed to buy. A couple things
that I've needed to buy for a while so that's good, I've kicked those off. And um
I guess I just wanted to talk a bit more about what I was talking about this
morning with like just feeling off, and my head not being "in the game"
haha "get your head in the game"
But yeah with feeling like I'm getting off track and need to pull
myself back on track... Yeah, I guess I think one of the reasons
that I've felt off this week is because I've been trying to focus more on my
drawing and painting, because a big focus for me currently is re-finding myself artistically. "Re-finding."
Um... because I've felt like I've... kind of lost that partly for a while and that's just
simply through not practicing. Because by not practicing it feels like, um... creating is
something that I always feel I need to force myself into and like it's not
something that comes naturally and I know that that's just simply from not
being consistent with my drawing and practicing consistently, and I know that
I will get into... like it'll feel less forced once I am drawing consistently.
And I feel like I've been that way for many years and it's because like
I'm always drawing on and off and there's always something that seems to
get in the way, and a lot of that is just a lot of self-doubt, which I'm sure every
artist struggles with. And so I guess at the moment it's-- I'm kind of struggling
with forcing myself to draw because there is that doubt that... what am I going
to draw? Like it's not going to work out very well, that kind of thing, and so I guess
I'm really needing to focus on... just forcing myself to draw and getting
familiar with drawing again and drawing regularly so that like part of my
lifestyle... I'm used to just drawing being a very important part of my life.
Yeah and I guess drawing consistently is something that I
need to do to feel like things come "more naturally", because like obviously
nothing's ever going to come easily, but like I discussed in my other video where
it was the first time drawing in a while after a break and how to get back into
drawing... Like, you kind of need to be drawing regularly to get into that
creative and innovative mindset, like where you kind of have those "Aha!" moments.
But, I guess in an artistic way it's usually more where you're drawing things
and you're probably not too familiar with drawing them, but you can
just seem to figure things out and get things to work whereas when you're not
drawing consistently you have the opposite problem where things aren't
working out you can't figure out what they are and you can't figure out how to
fix them so you just get really frustrated. And yeah I guess that's all I
really wanted to talk about for how I was feeling exactly just because I've
had these feelings like recurringly for a very long time
and I know that there's-- excuse me-- plenty of other artists out there who feel the
exact same way or have felt this way at some point, and I just feel like it's
good to be honest and truthful because it can be grounding when you are having
these feelings and then you find out other people feel the same way, like it's
not that I'm a bad artist or that I had-- like there's some specific problem that
only I have - it's something that everyone goes through, and like just something
that you need to work through and not really focus on too much. Yeah, it's not
really that important cause it's always something that you can work
through and you probably will need to work through at some point in your whole life,
whether it's artistically, or just for any kind of thing in life.
So... yeah, I guess I am now going to continue working.
I've got my spreadsheet up there, if you can see it... and my thumb face coming out!
Hey guys!
Anyway... uum yeah, I'm going to get back to work now. I've got my to-do
list that I wrote down, of all the things that I need to do, so I'm feeling a bit
more in control and on schedule, so that's good, and I guess I'll just get
back into it now, and I'll talk to you guys later!
Buh-bye!
Thought I was going to go, but I didn't, ha-ha!
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