ANNOUNCER: THE FOLLOWING PROGRAM IS PAID FOR BY
THE FRIENDS AND PARTNERS OF JOYCE MEYER MINISTRIES.
[MUSIC]
JOYCE: WELL, WE OFTEN SAY THAT ANGER IS ONLY ONE LETTER
AWAY FROM DANGER.
IF WE DON'T CONTROL OUR ANGER, IT CAN DESTROY OUR RELATIONSHIPS
AND EVEN OUR LIVES.
YOU KNOW, STUDIES SHOW THAT ONE IN FIVE AMERICANS DEALS WITH
ANGER MANAGEMENT ISSUES.
PEOPLE MAY BE ANGRY AT OTHER PEOPLE, AT THEMSELVES,
OR EVEN AT GOD.
TODAY, I HAVE SEVERAL PEOPLE WITH ME WHO HAVE STRUGGLED WITH
ANGER IN THE PAST BUT HAVE SINCE LEARNED HOW TO DEAL WITH IT
IN A HEALTHY WAY.
WELL, TONY, FIRST, IS THE PASTOR OF OUR INNER CITY CHURCH CALLED
THE ST. LOUIS DREAM CENTER, AND WE REALLY APPRECIATE HIM; AND OF
COURSE, GINGER'S ON THE PROGRAM WITH US TODAY; AND DAVID GEORGE,
ONE OF OUR PRODUCERS HERE AT THE TV STUDIO.
AND SO, TONY, LET'S START WITH YOU.
YOU'RE JUST SUCH A NICE GUY.
ARE YOU SURE YOU WERE EVER ANGRY?
TONY: OH MY GOSH.
YEAH, I WAS VERY ANGRY.
I GREW UP IN A HOUSEHOLD WITH A MOTHER WHO SUFFERED WITH
BIPOLAR DISORDER.
AND SO, OUR HOUSE WAS PRETTY CRAZY AT TIMES, AND THE FEELING
OF HELPLESSNESS CAUSED ME A LOT OF TIMES TO LASH OUT IN
DIFFERENT WAYS.
AND SO, THAT WAS MY BIG STRUGGLE GROWING UP.
JOYCE: WHAT ABOUT YOUR DAD?
DID HE-- TONY: YOU KNOW, MY DAD WAS
THERE.
I MEAN, I GREW UP WITH BOTH PARENTS IN THE HOUSEHOLD, BUT MY
DAD WAS IN SURVIVAL MODE.
BECAUSE MY MOM'S WAYS OF DOING THINGS WERE SO ERRATIC, HE
PRETTY MUCH SPENT A LOT OF TIME AWAY.
AND SO, I WAS LEFT WITH MY BROTHERS AT HOME, TRYING TO DEAL
WITH THIS MOTHER WHO STRUGGLED WITH THE BIPOLAR DISORDER.
AND I GOTTA TELL YOU, IT WAS NUTS JUST BEING AT HOME.
NOTHING WAS NORMAL.
JOYCE: YEAH, YOU NEVER KNEW WHAT TO EXPECT.
TONY: NEVER KNEW WHAT TO EXPECT, YEAH.
JOYCE: OKAY, NOW, I THINK WHEN I READ YOUR TESTIMONY, YOU
SAID SOMETHING ABOUT THAT SHE WOULD EMBARRASS YOU A LOT.
TONY: HA, YEAH.
BECAUSE OF THE ILLNESS THAT SHE SUFFERED WITH, THERE WERE TIMES
WITH THE NEIGHBORS, TIMES AT SCHOOL.
THERE WAS ONE TIME IN THE THIRD GRADE
WHERE I HAD GOTTEN IN TROUBLE, AND NORMALLY PARENTS
WILL JUST DEAL WITH YOU WHEN YOU GET HOME.
SHE DECIDED, "NO, I'M GONNA COME TO YOUR SCHOOL."
AND SHE CAME INTO MY CLASSROOM AND SPANKED ME IN MY CLASSROOM.
AND SO, IT WAS JUST DEMORALIZING AND JUST REALLY ADDED TO SOME OF
THE FEELINGS THAT I HAD.
BUT THOSE WERE A PART OF THOSE--YOU KNOW, THAT BEHAVIOR
WHEN SHE WASN'T TAKING HER MEDICATION.
JOYCE: WELL, I'M GLAD TO KNOW THAT YOU'VE FOUND SOME ANSWERS
THROUGH THE WORD OF GOD, AND WE'RE GONNA GET BACK TO THAT
IN A MINUTE.
GINGER, YOU DON'T ALWAYS SEE EVERYBODY'S ANGER, DO YOU?
GINGER: DEFINITELY NOT, AND I THINK THAT'S A VERY
IMPORTANT POINT.
BECAUSE WHEN YOU SAID ONE IN FIVE AMERICANS ARE PEOPLE
DEALING WITH ANGER MANAGEMENT, THE REST OF THEM STILL DEAL WITH
ANGER.
EVEN IF WE'RE NOT DEALING WITH THINGS THAT ARE OUTWARD AND
PEOPLE ARE REALLY SEEING THAT YOU'RE A VERY ANGRY PERSON,
THERE ARE THINGS IN ALL OF OUR LIVES THAT WE DEAL WITH ANGER.
BUT FOR ME SPECIFICALLY, I'VE GONE THROUGH DIFFERENT TIMES IN
MY LIFE WHERE, YOU TALK ABOUT FEELING HELPLESS OR OUT OF
CONTROL, WHERE SOMETHING HAS BEEN VERY SERIOUS IN MY LIFE OR
EVEN WITH WHAT WE DO WITH TRAVELING AND HELPING OTHER
PEOPLE, IT'S A HUGE BLESSING, BUT WE SEE A LOT OF VERY
DIFFICULT CIRCUMSTANCES, PEOPLE SUFFERING, INJUSTICE.
AND WHAT I DID WAS START TO FEEL WRONG AND YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT
IT IS.
YOU START TO FEEL LIKE THINGS AREN'T RIGHT, AND YOU'RE NOT
ANGRY AT ANYONE, YOU'RE JUST ANGRY.
AND I HAD A LOT OF THAT ANGER THAT EVENTUALLY--AND IT'S REALLY
SHAMEFUL TO SAY, YOU KNOW.
IT'S KINDA HARD FOR ME TO TALK ABOUT, BUT IT CAME BACK AROUND
TO I WAS JUST ANGRY AT GOD BECAUSE THERE WAS NO ONE ELSE
I COULD POINT TO.
BUT I HAD A LOVE AND A RESPECT FOR GOD, SO IT WAS HARD TO
ADMIT, "I'M REALLY MAD AT YOU FOR NOT FIXING THIS PROBLEM."
JOYCE: RIGHT, YEAH.
GINGER: BUT WHEN YOU HAVE THAT KIND OF ANGER DEEP DOWN IN
YOUR SOUL AND YOU DON'T KNOW WHERE TO GO WITH IT, IT'S REALLY
PAINFUL.
AND THAT'S WHERE YOU DO FIND YOURSELF SNAPPING AT YOUR KIDS
AND YOU DON'T KNOW WHY, OR YOU KNOW, FEELING DISCONTENT AND YOU
DON'T KNOW WHY, THOSE KIND OF THINGS.
JOYCE: I DO THINK THERE'S A LOT OF PEOPLE, AND PROBABLY EVEN
A LOT OF PEOPLE WATCHING TODAY, THAT THEY'RE NOT HAPPY
AND THEY'RE BLAMING IT ON THIS, THAT, SOMETHING ELSE.
IT'S MY FAMILY'S FAULT, IT'S WHERE I WORK, IT'S MY CHURCH,
WHATEVER IT IS.
YOU KNOW, WE ARE EXPERTS AT EVADING AND AVOIDING, BECAUSE
LIKE YOU SAID, IT'S HARD TO ADMIT, WHATEVER, I'M JEALOUS, OR
I'M ANGRY AT GOD, OR YOU KNOW, I'M MAD AT SOMEBODY ABOUT
SOMETHING, BUT REALLY I DO THINGS EVEN WORSE THAN WHAT
THEY--IT'S REALLY--FACING THE TRUTH IS THE ONLY THING
THAT SETS US FREE.
BUT IT IS ONE OF THE MOST CHALLENGING THINGS TO DO,
AND SO I TOTALLY UNDERSTAND HOW YOU FEEL.
GINGER: HERE'S THE BIG THING THAT HE SHOWED ME WAS HE
UNDERSTANDS SUFFERING SO MUCH.
I MEAN, HE SUFFERED MORE THAN ANY OF US ON MY BEHALF, SO WHAT
RIGHT DO I HAVE TO BE ANGRY.
AND YET, HE WAS A GENTLEMAN THROUGH MY ANGER.
HE WAS BIG ENOUGH TO HANDLE IT.
HE LISTENED TO ME WHEN I FINALLY DID BREAK DOWN, AND CONFESS IT,
AND TALK TO HIM ABOUT IT, AND JUST SPILLED IT OUT IN FRONT
OF HIM.
AND HE WALKED ME THROUGH IT IN LOVE AND NOT IN ANGER.
JOYCE: ONE QUICK THING I WANTED TO BRING OUT BEFORE WE
TALK TO DAVID IS I KNOW FROM TALKING TO YOU PERSONALLY THAT
ONE OF THE TIMES WHEN YOU HAD A REAL PROBLEM WAS WHEN
A GOOD FRIEND OF YOURS COMMITTED SUICIDE.
AND I JUST KINDA FEEL IN MY HEART THAT THERE'S PROBABLY
OTHER PEOPLE WATCHING EVEN RIGHT NOW THAT THAT'S KIND OF THEIR
SITUATION.
JUST REAL QUICKLY, HOW DID THAT AFFECT YOU?
GINGER: IT WAS--AS YOU SAID, IT WAS JUST SUCH A SHOCK.
AND MY GO-TO EMOTION--I THINK WHEN WE'RE HURT, WHEN WE'RE
SHOCKED, SOMETIMES, YOU KNOW, WE ALL HAVE GO-TO EMOTIONS THAT WE
MAY BE SAD, WE MAY BE DEPRESSED.
I'M ASHAMED TO SAY MY GO-TO EMOTION IS ANGER SOMETIMES IN
A SITUATION LIKE THAT.
I WAS ANGRY THAT GOD DIDN'T STOP THIS FROM HAPPENING BECAUSE I
KNEW THAT HE COULD AND HE DIDN'T DO IT.
WELL, AGAIN, WHO AM I TO FEEL THAT WAY, BUT I'M JUST BEING
REAL, I FELT THAT WAY, AND I TOLD GOD THAT I DID.
AND I WAS ANGRY FOR A LONG TIME, AND I WAS ANGRY AT HIM FOR
TAKING HIS LIFE, FOR GOD FOR ALLOWING IT TO HAPPEN, FOR ME
FOR NOT KNOWING, FOR ALL OF THESE DIFFERENT THINGS THAT
WOULD KEEP COMING TO ME OVER AND OVER AND OVER.
AND YOU DON'T DEAL WITH IT ONCE.
YOU DON'T SAY, "GOD, I'M SORRY I WAS MAD AND IT'S OVER,"
YOU KNOW?
YOU HAVE TO CONTINUALLY CONFESS IT.
YOU HAVE TO ASK HIM TO HELP YOU WALK THROUGH IT.
AND IT WAS A LONG ROAD OF HEALING.
JOYCE: GOD CAN DO ANYTHING.
GINGER: THAT'S RIGHT.
JOYCE: BUT HE HAS GIVEN PEOPLE FREE CHOICE, AND THE
THING ABOUT FREE WILL IS GOD IS SOVEREIGN, BUT--AND THIS IS
PROBABLY NOT THE BEST WAY TO SAY IT, BUT WHEN HE CHOSE TO GIVE US
FREE WILL, HE SO-TO-SPEAK LIMITED--PURPOSELY LIMITED HIS
SOVEREIGNTY IN OUR LIFE.
THE THING IS HE WANTS US TO DO THE RIGHT THING, BUT HE'S NOT
GONNA FORCE US TO DO THE RIGHT THING.
AND SO, I THINK IT'S IMPORTANT FOR PEOPLE WATCHING TO
UNDERSTAND THAT, BECAUSE YES, GOD CAN DO ANYTHING, BUT HE DOES
GIVE US FREE CHOICE, FREE WILL.
AND THERE'S JUST A LOT OF THINGS GOING ON IN THE WORLD THAT
AFFECT SO MANY DIFFERENT THINGS, AND REALLY, IF GOD JUST GOT IN
AND FIXED 'EM ALL, THEN HE WOULD JUST BE A BIG CONTROLLER,
RATHER THAN SOMEONE WHO LEADS AND GUIDES US, SO.
GINGER: YEAH, IT REALLY IS A BLESSING.
JOYCE: OKAY, DAVID, I'VE BEEN HEARING A LITTLE BIT ABOUT
YOUR STORY, SO TELL US ABOUT YOUR SITUATION.
DAVID: IT GOES BACK TO WHEN I WAS A CHILD.
I WAS VERY PERFECTIONISTIC, WANTED TO CONTROL THINGS,
AS WE TALKED ABOUT.
AND SO, AT AGE 12, MY PARENTS SEPARATED, AND THEN THEY GOT
DIVORCED WHEN I WAS 18.
SO, FOR 6 YEARS, OKAY, I WAS IN THIS STATE OF CONFUSION.
MY DAD WOULD COME BACK SOMETIMES.
MY MOM WAS PRAYING THEY'RE GONNA GET BACK TOGETHER, AND THIS IS
WHERE MY ANGER WOULD COME IN WITH GOD.
I WANT THEM TO GET BACK TOGETHER, WHERE ARE YOU?
WHY AREN'T YOU ACTING ON THIS?
AND SO, FOR ME, THINGS WOULD JUST START TO WELL UP QUICKLY.
AND WHILE I HAD THIS CONTROL ISSUE, I COULDN'T CONTROL WHAT
WAS HAPPENING BETWEEN MY PARENTS.
NOBODY SAT ME DOWN.
NOBODY TALKED TO ME ABOUT, "THIS IS WHAT WE'RE GOING THROUGH."
NOBODY ASKED ME HOW I WAS DOING, SO I WAS LEFT ON MY OWN TO
FIGURE IT OUT.
AND SO, MY GO-TO BECAME ANGER, BECAUSE EVERYTHING WAS OUT OF
MY CONTROL.
JOYCE: YOU KNOW, WHAT I'M HEARING HERE THAT'S REALLY VERY
INTERESTING IS THAT EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOU, THE ROOT OF
THE PROBLEM HAS BEEN THAT YOU COULDN'T CONTROL WHAT WAS
GOING ON.
DAVID: ABSOLUTELY.
JOYCE: WHICH IS REALLY PRETTY INTERESTING.
AND YOU KNOW, OF COURSE, I DEALT WITH ANGER ISSUES TOO IN MY
LIFE, AND I STILL DON'T--I MEAN, I JUST DON'T RESPOND REAL WELL
WHEN SOMEBODY TRIES TO CONTROL ME.
YOU KNOW, I'M SURE YOU'RE WATCHING THE PROGRAM TODAY VERY
INTERESTED IN IT BECAUSE MANY OF YOU PROBABLY HAVE ISSUES LIKE
THIS, AND MAYBE YOU'VE NEVER EVEN SPOKEN TO ANYBODY ABOUT IT.
BUT THE THING IS IS ASK YOURSELF NOW, ARE YOU JUST ANGRY BECAUSE
YOU'RE NOT GETTING WHAT YOU WANT?
SEE, THAT'S WHAT YOU SAID, "I WANTED GOD TO GET MY PARENTS
BACK TOGETHER AND I DIDN'T UNDERSTAND WHY GOD WASN'T GIVING
ME WHAT I WANTED."
AND SO, I THINK IN OUR WALK WITH GOD, WHICH WE'LL TALK A LITTLE
BIT MORE ABOUT IN THE SECOND HALF OF THE PROGRAM, ISN'T BEING
ABLE TO FINALLY WALK AWAY FROM SELF-WILL AND REALLY WANT THE
WILL OF GOD OUR MAIN--I MEAN, THAT'S REALLY THE ROOT--
TONY: THAT'S WHAT IT COMES DOWN TO, YEAH.
JOYCE: OF OUR WHOLE PROBLEM.
IT'S LEARNING TO BE DEPENDENT ON GOD INSTEAD OF INDEPENDENT
FROM GOD.
GINGER: AND IT'S VERY FASCINATING HOW THAT ANGER CAME
OUT VERY DIFFERENTLY IN EACH ONE OF US, HOW PEOPLE, OTHER PEOPLE,
WOULD SEE IT DIFFERENTLY.
WITH YOU, YOU WERE ANGRY AT YOURSELF, RIGHT?
DAVID: ABSOLUTELY, VERY MUCH ANGRY AT MYSELF, NOT THAT I
THOUGHT THAT MY PARENTS DIVORCED BECAUSE OF SOMETHING I DID.
I NEVER FELT THAT, BUT FOR ME IT WAS IN SOME WAY I CAN'T FIX IT.
AND THAT'S WHERE I GOT STUCK FOR YEARS.
SO, EVEN THROUGHOUT MY 20S, WHEN MY WIFE--WHEN WE WERE DATING,
SHE REMINDED ME LAST NIGHT, SHE'S LIKE,
"YOU HATED YOUR FATHER."
AND I DID, BECAUSE IN MY MIND IT WAS HIS FAULT, AND MY MOTHER HAD
TO SUFFER FOR YEARS OF HURT.
AND SO, IN A WAY, SHE NEGLECTED ME BECAUSE SHE WAS DEALING
WITH HER OWN PAIN.
JOYCE: RIGHT, EXACTLY.
TONY: AND YOU KNOW, THAT WAS MY CHALLENGE AS WELL, THE
CHALLENGE OF NOT BEING ABLE TO CONTROL WHAT WAS TAKING PLACE.
BECAUSE WITH MY MOTHER'S BEHAVIOR BEING SO ERRATIC, I'M
TRYING TO MAKE SURE EVERYONE'S OKAY, AND I FELT LIKE IF I COULD
BE PERFECT, SHE WOULD BE FINE.
AND IT JUST DIDN'T WORK NO MATTER WHAT I TRIED TO PULL OFF,
AND IT JUST MAKES YOU EVEN MORE FRUSTRATED, WHICH MAKES YOU FEEL
EVEN MORE HELPLESS, WHICH MAKES YOU EVEN MORE ANGRY.
AND THE PERSON THAT I WAS THE ANGRIEST WITH WAS HER,
YET EVERYBODY AROUND ME WERE THE ONES THAT FELT THE WRATH.
JOYCE: WELL, DON'T GO AWAY.
WE'LL CONTINUE OUR DISCUSSION RIGHT AFTER THIS BREAK.
[MUSIC]
FEMALE: HOW DO I TRUST GOD WHEN I'VE BEEN DISAPPOINTED
OVER AND OVER AND OVER?
FEMALE: HOW CAN I HAVE FAITH IN GOD WHEN I'M NOT SEEING
AN IMPROVEMENT?
MALE: I TRUST GOD, BUT SOMETIMES I HAVE SO MANY FEARS,
I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO.
[MUSIC]
JOYCE: WELCOME BACK TO THE PROGRAM TODAY.
WE'RE TALKING ABOUT ANGER AND HOW DESTRUCTIVE IT CAN BE IN OUR
LIVES AND RELATIONSHIPS IF WE DON'T KNOW HOW TO HANDLE IT.
BUT I DO THINK I WANNA START BY CLARIFYING THAT THE FEELING OF
ANGER ITSELF IS NOT A SIN, ESPECIALLY IF THERE'S BEEN
AN INJUSTICE OR SOMEONE HAS MISTREATED YOU.
EPHESIANS 4:26-27 I LOVE.
IT SAYS, "WHEN YOU'RE ANGRY, DO NOT SIN."
SO, IT DOESN'T SAY DON'T EVER GET ANGRY BECAUSE IT'S A SIN, IT
SAYS, "WHEN YOU'RE ANGRY, DO NOT SIN; DON'T EVER LET YOUR WRATH
(OR YOUR EXASPERATION, OR YOUR FURY OR INDIGNATION) LAST
UNTIL THE SUN GOES DOWN."
TAKING THE PRINCIPLES FROM THIS SCRIPTURE IS THAT NONE OF WHAT
ANY OF YOU FELT OR WHAT I FELT IN ITSELF WAS A SIN, BUT NOT TO
DEAL WITH IT IS A SIN.
AND I THINK THAT'S WHAT OUR PLEA IS TO THE PEOPLE WATCHING TODAY.
IT'S LIKE, YOU MAY HAVE A VERY GOOD REASON FOR STAYING ANGRY,
AND I REMEMBER WELL WHAT THE LORD SAID TO ME.
HE SAID, "YOU'VE GOT A GOOD REASON, BUT YOU DON'T HAVE
ANY RIGHT TO BECAUSE I DIED TO SET YOU FREE."
DAVID: YEP, THAT'S IT.
JOYCE: AND SO, TONY, HOW DID YOU FINALLY START GETTING SOME
RESOLUTION TO THE ANGER IN YOUR LIFE?
TONY: FOR ME, I REALIZED I COULDN'T DO IT BY MYSELF.
AND SO, AFTER 9 YEARS OF BEING A CHRISTIAN AND BEING FRUSTRATED
WITH THE WHOLE DEAL, I ACTUALLY WENT TO SEE
A CHRISTIAN COUNSELOR.
SAT DOWN WITH THE COUNSELOR FOR 6 WEEKS, AND SHE HAD ME DO THIS
STRANGE EXERCISE THAT, AT THE TIME SHE TOLD ME, I WAS
LIKE, "THIS DOESN'T MAKE SENSE."
BUT SHE HAD--MY MOTHER HAD PASSED 10 YEARS BEFORE, AND SO
SHE HAD ME WRITE A LETTER TO MY, AT THAT TIME, DEAD MOTHER,
EXPRESSING EVERYTHING THAT I FELT AND JUST REALLY LAYING IT
ALL OUT.
THEN SHE HAD ME MEET WITH MY FATHER FACE-TO-FACE, WHICH
WAS--THE LETTER WAS MORE TERRIFYING THAN THE MEETING,
HA HA.
BUT STRANGELY ENOUGH, WHEN IT WAS ALL DONE, I FELT FREE.
IT WAS LIKE FOR THE FIRST TIME IN MY LIFE, I WAS ABLE TO LET GO
OF THE ANGER AND LOOK FORWARD TO MY FUTURE.
I DIDN'T REALIZE THERE WAS A HUGE CEILING OVER MY LIFE
EVERY TIME I WOKE UP AND THAT ANGER WAS A PART OF ME.
AND EVEN THOUGH MY MOTHER WAS NO LONGER AROUND, WHICH I THOUGHT
THE ANGER WOULD LEAVE ONCE SHE PASSED.
IT ACTUALLY GREW STRONGER BECAUSE NOW I DIDN'T HAVE
AN OBJECT FOR IT.
JOYCE: I'M HEARING REALLY WHAT SCRIPTURE SAYS, THAT WHEN
YOU PRAY, IF YOU HAVE ANYTHING AGAINST ANYONE, YOU MUST
FORGIVE THEM.
SO, REALLY, WE CAN'T BE HAPPY, WE CAN'T HAVE
RELATIONSHIP WITH GOD.
AS A CHRISTIAN, YOU'RE GONNA BE ETERNALLY FRUSTRATED UNTIL THIS
ISSUE IS WORKED OUT.
SO, IN WRITING THE LETTER, NUMBER ONE, YOU WERE NOW DEALING
WITH THE PROBLEM.
YOU BROUGHT IT OUT.
YOU TALKED TO SOMEBODY ABOUT IT.
AND NOW, YOU'RE CONFRONTING IT WITH YOUR MOTHER, WHO WAS
DECEASED, BUT STILL, YOU NEEDED THE CONFRONTATION.
AND YOU'RE AT A POINT NOW WHERE YOU'RE READY TO FORGIVE AND LET
GOD HELP YOU.
TONY: AND THAT WAS IT, BECAUSE ALL OF THESE YEARS,
I HADN'T DEALT WITH IT.
AS A MATTER OF FACT, IT HAD BECOME SO MUCH A PART OF ME,
I THOUGHT IT WAS JUST MY PERSONALITY.
AND I WAS JUST LIKE, "WELL, THIS IS JUST THE WAY THAT I AM."
BUT SITTING IN FRONT OF THAT COUNSELOR AND FINALLY GETTING
A CHANCE TO AIR IT OUT, ACTUALLY HEARING MY OWN SELF SAY
THE WORDS, I WAS LIKE, "WOW, THIS ISN'T HEALTHY."
AND AS SHE WALKED ME THROUGH IT, THAT EXERCISE ALONE WAS ONE OF
THE THINGS THAT HELP SET ME FREE.
AND FROM THAT, I SAY, "OKAY, NOW THAT I'VE GOTTEN DELIVERANCE
FROM THIS, I WANNA KEEP MY DELIVERANCE AND GROW."
I DUG INTO THE WORD OF GOD AND BEGAN TO READ ALL OF
THE SCRIPTURES CONCERNING THAT, AND IT CHANGED MY LIFE.
AND WHAT I DIDN'T REALIZE WAS IT GAVE ME MY DESTINY BACK.
IT WAS KILLING MY DESTINY TO BE IN ANGER.
JOYCE: THE THING IS IS, YOU KNOW, YOUR SECRETS MAKE
YOU SICK, AND YOU CAN'T JUST KEEP--I'M ENCOURAGING PEOPLE
TODAY, DON'T JUST KEEP SWEEPING THINGS UNDER THE RUG.
FIND A HEALTHY WAY TO DEAL WITH IT.
GINGER, WHAT--HOW DID GOD LEAD YOU?
GINGER: IT WAS REALLY THROUGH THE WORD OF GOD.
I DIDN'T QUESTION GOD'S LOVE FOR ME.
IT WASN'T AS MUCH THAT, BUT IT WAS STILL HIM WALKING THROUGH
THOSE SCRIPTURES OF HOW MUCH HE LOVES US, HOW MUCH HE SEES EVERY
HURT, HOW MUCH HE UNDERSTANDS PAIN, BECAUSE HE ALSO WALKED IN
A HUMAN BODY.
IT WAS ALL OF THOSE SCRIPTURES THAT HELPED ME RELATE TO HIM ON
A DIFFERENT LEVEL.
JOYCE: EXACTLY.
GINGER: AND AFTER--IT WAS REALLY JUST TAKING MY
RELATIONSHIP WITH GOD TO A NEW PLACE THAT IT NEEDED TO GO, AND
FOR HIM, LIKE YOU SAID, TO TAKE ME SOMEWHERE BECAUSE HE HAD MORE
THINGS FOR ME TO DO THAT THAT ANGER WOULD'VE KEPT ME FROM.
THE FACT THAT YOU CAN BE SO REAL WITH GOD, THAT THERE IS NOTHING
YOU HAVE TO KEEP FROM HIM IN YOUR RELATIONSHIP.
JOYCE: YOU CAN TALK TO GOD ABOUT ANYTHING.
GINGER: ABSOLUTELY EVERYTHING.
THERE'S NOTHING YOU HAVE TO BE SO ASHAMED OF THAT YOU CAN'T
SHOW HIM, BECAUSE HE KNOWS IT ANYWAY AND HE LOVES YOU THROUGH
IT, AND THAT'S WHAT REALLY SET ME FREE.
JOYCE: THAT'S RIGHT.
YOU KNOW SOMETHING THAT I WAS THINKING ABOUT WHILE WE WERE
TALKING AND I KINDA WANTED TO BRING THIS OUT, YOU KNOW, I HAD
AN ANGER ISSUE, BUT I KEPT WANTING EVERYBODY ELSE TO STOP
MAKING ME ANGRY.
GINGER: OH YEAH.
JOYCE: AND SEE, THAT'S STILL AVOIDING AND NOT TAKING
RESPONSIBILITY THAT I WAS THE ONE WITH THE PROBLEM.
YOU KNOW, I THOUGHT, "WELL, IF YOU DIDN'T--IF YOU DID MORE
FOR ME, I WOULDN'T BE ANGRY.
IF YOU DIDN'T ACT LIKE THAT, I WOULDN'T BE ANGRY."
AND SO, I KNOW THIS MIGHT BE A ROUGH DAY FOR SOME OF YOU, BUT
YOU GOTTA OWN--YOU GOTTA TAKE OWNERSHIP OF YOUR ISSUES,
BECAUSE AS LONG AS YOU KEEP TRYING TO BLAME THEM ON
SOMEBODY ELSE.
AND BOY, THE FLESH LOVES TO DO THAT.
IT'S NOT MY FAULT. IT'S NOT MY FAULT.
DAVID: WELL, AND WHAT YOU SAID ABOUT THE RESPONSIBILITY, I
HAD TO OWN THAT RESPONSIBILITY.
SO, IN MY 20S, IT WAS A VERY BAD TIME FOR ME.
IT WAS BAD IN MY MARRIAGE, I ALMOST LOST MY WIFE BECAUSE OF
THINGS THAT I HAD DONE.
SO--AND I WAS FAR FROM THE LORD.
I HAD THIS JUST VERY ROCKY RELATIONSHIP, BUT THROUGH THAT,
GOD LOVING ME THROUGH THAT AND SHOWING ME HIS GRACE AND MERCY,
THERE WAS A MOMENT WHEN IT'S LIKE, "YOU CAN GIVE THIS AWAY.
YOU CAN GIVE THE GRACE AND MERCY THAT I'VE GIVEN TO YOU AWAY TO
SOMEBODY ELSE.
YOU CAN FORGIVE YOUR FATHER."
SO, WHEN I WAS GOING THROUGH ALL OF THAT, I WAS AT THE SAME
PROBABLY AGE THAT MY PARENTS WERE WHEN THEY WENT THROUGH
THEIR SEPARATION.
SO, I STARTED TO UNDERSTAND AND GET A GLIMPSE OF THEY
WERE HURTING.
YOU ALWAYS SAY HURTING PEOPLE HURT PEOPLE.
THAT'S EXACTLY WHAT THEY WERE DOING.
THEY WEREN'T INTENTIONALLY TRYING TO HURT ME, BUT THOSE
20S, FOR ME, I WAS USING IT AS AN EXCUSE TO CONTINUE
MY BEHAVIOR.
AND THEN WHEN GOD WORKED IN MY LIFE AND CHANGED MY HEART,
HE OPENED MY EYES THAT, "YOU CAN FORGIVE YOUR FATHER."
AND IT WAS THROUGH FORGIVENESS THAT LITERALLY MY ANGER FOR MY
FATHER AND THAT WHOLE DIVORCE, IT'S GONE.
I DON'T HAVE ANY ANGER TO HIM.
MY HEART NOW TURNS TO--THIS IS WHERE--I WAS TALKING TO TONY
ABOUT THIS EARLIER, BUT MY HEART TURNS TO ANGER OF, "OKAY, GOD,
NOW ARE YOU GONNA SAVE MY FATHER?"
DO YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN?
SO, I START TO REVERT BACK-- GINGER: I'M GLAD YOU'RE NOT
ALL THE WAY BETTER.
IT MAKES ME FEEL BETTER.
DAVID: RIGHT, YEAH, I'M NOT ALL THE WAY BETTER.
JOYCE: I'M GLAD TO KNOW YOU STILL NEED A LITTLE HELP.
DAVID: I DO, BUT I CARE SO MUCH ABOUT HIS SALVATION.
AND WE TALKED ABOUT THIS EARLIER WHERE IT'S LIKE,
"OKAY GOD, WHEN?
WHEN ARE YOU GONNA--" JOYCE: BUT IT'S STILL NOT
ALL UP TO GOD.
SEE, THAT'S THE THING.
WE HAVE TO KEEP COMING BACK TO THIS.
IT'S LIKE, PRAY FOR HIS HEART TO BE SOFTENED.
PRAY FOR HIM TO GET INTO--I THINK A LOT OF TIMES WE SAY,
"GOD, FIX THIS," BUT EVEN OUR PRAYERS ARE WRONG.
YOU KNOW, WE NEED TO PRAY FOR GOD TO SOFTEN THEIR HEART,
SHOW THEM WHAT THEY'RE MISSING IN LIFE, HELP US REALLY BE
AN EXAMPLE TO THEM THAT'S GONNA MAKE THEM HUNGRY FOR WHAT
WE HAVE.
DAVID: AND I HAVE A GREAT RELATIONSHIP WITH HIM NOW.
BOTH OF MY PARENTS, THEY'RE BOTH REMARRIED.
WE WERE JUST OVER THERE ON SUNDAY NIGHT AT MY DAD'S AND HIS
NEW WIFE, AND THEY'VE BEEN MARRIED FOR 20 YEARS NOW,
HIM AND HIS NEW WIFE.
BUT I HAVE A GOOD RELATIONSHIP WITH HIM.
WE DIFFER ON PRETTY MUCH EVERYTHING, AND IT IS WHAT IT
IS, BUT I KNOW THAT HE LOVES ME AND HE KNOWS THAT I LOVE HIM.
BUT I COULD NOT HAVE GOTTEN TO THAT PLACE WITHOUT FORGIVING HIM
AND THEN GIVING WHAT GOD HAD GIVEN TO ME AWAY.
JOYCE: I TAUGHT THIS PAST WEEKEND IN A CHURCH WHERE I WAS
TEACHING ABOUT MERCY, AND I SAID THIS AND I JUST FEEL THAT I
WANNA SAY IT TO OUR VIEWING AUDIENCE TODAY.
GOD WILL NEVER ASK YOU TO FORGIVE SOMEBODY ELSE FOR MORE
THAN WHAT HE'S FORGIVEN YOU FOR.
I'M GONNA SAY IT AGAIN.
GOD WILL NEVER ASK YOU TO FORGIVE SOMEBODY ELSE FOR MORE
THAN WHAT HE'S FORGIVEN YOU FOR.
AND PART OF OUR PROBLEM IS IS WE DON'T REALLY SEE THE DEPTH,
THE UGLINESS OF OUR OWN SIN.
NO WONDER GOD'S MERCY IS NEW EVERY DAY.
I MEAN, I ALWAYS SAY HE HAS TO MAKE A NEW BATCH OVER NIGHT,
BECAUSE I'VE USED UP ALL OF YESTERDAY'S, AND I NEED A FRESH,
BRAND NEW ONE EVERY DAY.
AND GOD'S MERCY IS SO BEAUTIFUL.
AND I THINK YOU ALLUDED TO THIS, DAVID, EVERYTHING THAT GOD GIVES
TO US HE EXPECTS TO THEN FLOW THROUGH US.
DAVID: YES.
JOYCE: IT'S NOT JUST GOD--EVERYTHING GOD GIVES US
THEN BECOMES A RESPONSIBILITY FOR US TO THEN LET THAT FLOW
THROUGH US.
DAVID: WE'RE NOT CALLED TO BE CHRISTIANS TO HOLD IT AND PUT
OTHER PEOPLE IN BONDAGE BECAUSE WE'RE NOT GIVING IT TO THEM.
JOYCE: YEAH, THEN WE'RE NOT SHOWING THEM CHRIST.
THEN WE'RE JUST--WE KNOW A BUNCH OF PRINCIPLES, WE'VE GOT A BUNCH
OF STUFF UNDERLINED IN OUR BIBLES, BUT IT'S NOT WORKING IN
OUR LIFE.
AND IT REALLY JUST MAKES PEOPLE THINK YOU'RE A HYPOCRITE.
TONY: RIGHT, YEAH.
JOYCE: ALL RIGHT, I'M GONNA GIVE EACH ONE OF YOU ONE LAST
CHANCE IF YOU WANNA SAY ANYTHING ABOUT ANGER, OR ESPECIALLY LIKE
THE HEALING PART OF ANGER, AND THEN WE'RE GONNA NEED TO
CLOSE FOR TODAY.
TONY?
TONY: YOU KNOW, ONE OF THE THINGS THAT HELPS ME EVEN TODAY,
BECAUSE I STILL GET ANGRY, I STILL GET THERE AND THE
TEMPTATIONS COME IN TO STILL BE THE WAY THAT I USED TO BE, BUT
GOD HAS TAUGHT ME PRINCIPLES THROUGH HIS WORD.
SO, I'M ON THE 24-HOUR PRINCIPLE, WHICH IS I PRAISE YOU
IMMEDIATELY, BUT IF I CONFRONT SOMETHING, I TAKE 24 HOURS.
AND IN THAT 24 HOURS, I SEEK GOD AND ASK HIM THE REAL QUESTION,
"WHY AM I ANGRY?" JOYCE: THAT'S THE THING.
TONY: I LEARNED THAT ANGER IS REALLY A SECONDARY EMOTION.
THERE IS AN EMOTION DRIVING MY ANGER.
AM I EMBARRASSED?
AM I HURT?
JOYCE: AM I JEALOUS?
TONY: AM I JEALOUS?
ALL OF THESE THINGS.
AND SO, WHEN I LEARNED TO GET TO THE ROOT OF WHY I'M ANGRY, I CAN
NOW TAKE THAT TO GOD AND SAY, "GOD, YOU KNOW WHAT?
IN THIS MOMENT, I'M FEELING HEALTHY--I MEAN, HELPLESS.
WHAT DO YOU SAY ABOUT THAT?" AND HE SAYS, "LOOK AT
HEBREWS 13:5, 'I'LL NEVER LEAVE YOU HELPLESS.
I'LL NEVER ABANDON YOU.'" AND I ALLOW THE WORD OF GOD TO
WASH OVER THAT AREA AT THE ROOT OF IT,
AND THAT'S THE THING THAT HELPS ME IN MY EVERYDAY LIFE
DEAL WITH THE ANGER THAT COMES UP.
JOYCE: I THINK I'M GONNA HAVE TO DO A LOT OF TEACHING IN
THE SOON FUTURE ABOUT THIS, LET'S GET TO THE BOTTOM OF STUFF
AND QUIT JUST GLOSSING OVER EVERYTHING AND GOING ON.
GINGER, WHAT DO YOU SAY?
HOW DID--WHAT DO YOU DO NOW IF YOU GET ANGRY?
GINGER: WHAT I'VE LEARNED TO DO NOW IS TO RECOGNIZE THAT
ANGER WHEN IT STARTS.
BECAUSE I LEARNED THE HARD WAY BY FAILING THAT WHEN I ALLOWED
IT TO GET TOO BIG, IT WREAKED HAVOC IN MY LIFE.
SO, SEE IT, RECOGNIZE IT, AND TAKE IT TO GOD RIGHT AWAY.
THAT'S WHY GOD SAYS, "DON'T LET THE SUN GO DOWN ON YOUR ANGER,"
ALSO IS BECAUSE IF I DEAL WITH IT TODAY, BETWEEN GOD'S HELP
AND WHAT I NEED TO DO, WE CAN CONQUER IT.
BUT IF I LET IT SIMMER AND I LET THE ROOTS GROW DEEPER, IT'S
HARDER, AND HARDER, AND HARDER TO DEAL WITH.
JOYCE: THE LONGER YOU LET SOMETHING GO, THE HARDER IT IS
TO DEAL WITH.
GINGER: SO, I CAN'T LET IT SLIDE.
I CAN'T LET IT SLIDE.
JOYCE: OKAY, DAVID?
DAVID: SO, LIKE, I'M NOT ANGRY AT WORK.
WHEN I GET HOME, IT'S THE KIDS.
SO, I MEAN, THIS IS STILL-- GINGER: AND YOU HAVE
GREAT KIDS.
DAVID: I HAVE WONDERFUL KIDS, THANK YOU.
I HAVE WONDERFUL KIDS AND I HAVE A WONDERFUL WIFE, AND MY WIFE IS
VERY GOOD AT REMINDING ME.
SHE AND I HAVE TALKED.
SHE KNOWS MY TENDENCY TO BLOW UP.
SO, SHE CAN QUICKLY SAY, YOU KNOW, "KNOCK IT OFF," OR SHE'S
SAYING, "WHAT YOU'RE SAYING IS RIGHT BUT YOUR TONE IS WRONG."
WHICH, FOR THE KIDS, IT'S SO HUGE.
BUT WHAT I'VE DONE WITH THE KIDS, AND YOU GUYS HAVE TALKED
ABOUT THIS, IT'S FORGIVENESS.
LIKE, I ALWAYS SAY TO MY KID, YOU KNOW, "YOU KNOW YOUR DADDY
NEEDS A SAVIOR BECAUSE HE'S ALWAYS SAYING HE'S SORRY."
BUT I AM CONSTANTLY, "I AM SORRY.
TALK TO ME."
THE BIGGEST THING FOR ME AS A CHILD,
I JUST WANTED SOMEBODY TO COMMUNICATE WITH ME OVER
EVERYTHING THAT WAS GOING ON.
SO, WHEN I BLOW UP AND I LOSE IT BECAUSE THEY MAY NOT BE GETTING
IT, BECAUSE THEY'RE STILL CHILDREN LEARNING,
THEY'RE NOT ADULTS, YOU KNOW, I HAVE TO STEP BACK.
AND THEN I HAVE TO HUMBLE MYSELF, AND I HAVE TO GO INTO MY
15-YEAR-OLD DAUGHTER'S BEDROOM, AND I HAVE TO SAY, "I'M SORRY."
THAT IS A DAILY FOR ME.
JOYCE: EPHESIANS 4:30 SAYS THAT WE ARE NOT TO GRIEVE
THE HOLY SPIRIT.
AND THEN IF YOU READ, LIKE, VERSE 29 AND 31, WHICH IS ON TOP
OF AND UNDERNEATH VERSE 30, ONE OF THE MAJOR ISSUES IN THERE
IS ANGER AND RAGE.
AND SO, IT JUST PLAIN GRIEVES THE HOLY SPIRIT WHEN WE BEHAVE
THAT WAY.
AND YOU KNOW, MY RELATIONSHIP WITH GOD HAS BEEN LONG ENOUGH
NOW AND IS DEEP ENOUGH THAT I REALLY DON'T WANNA DO ANYTHING
THAT OFFENDS GOD, BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT IT MEANS TO GRIEVE.
DO NOT OFFEND, VEX, OR SADDEN HIM.
AND SO, I REALIZED TOO, FOR ME, THAT BECAUSE THE HOLY SPIRIT
LIVES IN US AS CHILDREN OF GOD, IF HE'S GRIEVED, THEN I'M GONNA
FEEL THAT.
THAT'S WHY A LOT OF TIMES, IF WE'RE ANGRY, WE FEEL DEPRESSED,
OR WE FEEL HEAVY, OR WE FEEL DISCOURAGED BECAUSE WE'RE
ACTUALLY FEELING WHAT THE LORD IS FEELING REGARDING
OUR BEHAVIOR.
BUT THE GOOD NEWS IS, AND WE ALWAYS WANNA END WITH GOOD NEWS,
IS GOD IS NEVER GONNA LEAVE YOU NOR FORSAKE YOU.
AND THIS PROGRAM TODAY IS GEARED TOWARD HELPING PEOPLE REALIZE
THAT NO MATTER WHAT KIND OF A PROBLEM YOU HAVE HAD OR DO HAVE,
YOU CAN DEAL WITH IT.
AND GOD IS ALWAYS GONNA BE THERE TO HELP YOU DEAL WITH IT.
AND HE'S THE BEST COUNSELOR IN THE WHOLE WORLD.
YOU MAY GO TO A PROFESSIONAL COUNSELOR, BUT EVEN IN THAT,
GOD MANY TIMES HAS TO HELP US UNDERSTAND EVEN WHAT THEY'RE
TRYING TO GET ACROSS TO US.
AND SO, I JUST WANNA ENCOURAGE YOU TO OWN YOUR PROBLEMS.
DON'T BLAME THEM ON ANYBODY ELSE.
AND DON'T SPEND YOUR LIFE BEING ANGRY, BECAUSE IT IS THE BIGGEST
WASTE OF TIME IN THE WHOLE WORLD.
NOW, AS ALWAYS, WE WANNA OFFER YOU SOME MORE WORD ALONG
THE LINES OF WHAT WE'VE BEEN TALKING ABOUT TODAY.
AND SO, I HAVE A TWO-CD TEACHING SERIES CALLED,
"ANGER MANAGEMENT."
AND I DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU MIGHT PAY IF YOU'D GO TO SOME KIND OF
COUNSELING FOR ANGER MANAGEMENT OR SOME KIND OF A CLASS FOR
ANGER MANAGEMENT, BUT IT WOULD BE A WHOLE LOT MORE THAN WHAT
WE'RE ASKING YOU FOR HERE TODAY.
AND I WANT YOU TO REMEMBER, THERE IS PEACE AVAILABLE TO YOU
AND GOD WANTS TO HELP YOU FIND REST IN HIS EVERLASTING,
NEVER-ENDING LOVE AND MERCY.
GOD BLESS YOU.
ANNOUNCER: ANGER CAN FEEL MESSY.
DON'T LET IT STRING YOU ALONG AND CREATE CHAOS IN YOUR LIFE.
IT'S IMPORTANT TO RECOGNIZE WHERE IT'S COMING FROM AND PUT
A STOP TO IT BEFORE IT CONTROLS YOU.
TODAY'S OFFER INCLUDES THIS COMPLETE TEACHING OF
"ANGER MANAGEMENT" ON TWO CDS.
MALE: I WOULD GET ANGRY WHEN THE LIGHT WOULD TURN RED,
YOU KNOW?
WHEN IT WOULD GO FROM GREEN TO RED, I WOULD LIKE, "GOD, I SEEM
TO HIT ALL THE RED LIGHTS ALL OF THE TIME."
AND NOW, WHEN I HIT THE RED LIGHTS, I JUST LAUGH.
ANNOUNCER: WITH THIS TEACHING, JOYCE SHARES PRACTICAL
ADVICE ON HOW YOU CAN EXPERIENCE A BREAKTHROUGH IN THIS AREA
OF YOUR LIFE.
ALONG WITH THE TWO-CD PACK, WE'RE OFFERING JOYCE'S BOOK,
"LIVING BEYOND YOUR FEELINGS."
IF YOU ARE READY TO MASTER YOUR EMOTIONS, THIS BOOK MIGHT BE
FOR YOU.
FOR A LIMITED TIME, THIS OFFER IS AVAILABLE FOR
A DONATION OF...
CALL TODAY...
OR VISIT US AT JOYCEMEYER.ORG.
CC BY ABERDEEN CAPTIONING 1-800-688-6621 WWW.ABERCAP.COM
ANNOUNCER: THE PRECEDING WAS PAID FOR BY
THE FRIENDS AND PARTNERS OF JOYCE MEYER MINISTRIES.
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