So, the hand stuttering technique or I would call it a method because it's a much bigger thing
than just a technique. That's the technique I use myself in my own therapy, that's the
technique I'm preaching about in every single video of mine, that we use inside the Improve
Program and I just love this technique because I see every single day that it is really working.
Every level of severity like from severe to mild, it does work. If you want to know what
this hand stuttering technique is all about and how it's working stay tuned.
The first thing I want to make very, very clear that in the stuttering iceberg that
stuttering represents actually; the top of it are the speech impediments and the huge
body that other people don't see sometimes we ourselves don't quite realize that body
of the iceberg which has the stuttering fear, fear of stuttering, fear of speaking, desire
to hide our stuttering, desire to avoid, avoidance behaviors so all these represent the body
of that iceberg and the speech impediments that we do see that are on top of that iceberg.
The hand stuttering technique affects, aims both of these and that actually makes it so
powerful. So let's start with the top of the iceberg, the speech impediments. Something
that is very obvious for us and we often see our stuttering as speech impediments and we
measure our speaking in terms of fluency or disfluency. We do want to target the speech
impediments of course and yeah what we usually do? We do the speech exercises and that is
absolutely awesome. Any speech exercises that develop the speaking mechanism, reading out
loud like easy onset. There are many speaking exercises, stuttering techniques. We can develop
the diaphragm muscles to make our voice more powerful. Everything is perfect, everything
is awesome. But when it comes to the real life settings, real life situations we pretty
much let's call it forget about everything because there is no way to remember it. Our
speaking works as an automated pattern and stuttering is an automated pattern. It is
a program that we're having. This process of speaking is highly automated and it's
backed by the emotional background which we're having.
When we face a speaking setting, this program starts, launches automatically so our stuttering
becomes a state that penetrates our mind and body and we'll start thinking about our life
in terms of how to avoid speaking, how to hide our stuttering, so it becomes much more
than just speech impediments. And again, it's working as an automated pattern. When we face
a speaking setting we already know that we will stutter. That line of code that I will
stutter at some point is the core of that automated pattern, of that program that we're
having. How do we change that line of code which
says that I will stutter at some point? To another line of code which says that I'm able
to say what I want to say without speech impediments in any circumstances so how do we replace
that? I want you to imagine our speaking as a fast river and we want to get to the other
side of the river so once we face a speaking situation, we want to swim to the other side
of the river. We get to the water but the river is so fast. It just flows us away and
we never get to the other end as we wanted. Exactly the same thing happens with our speaking
we're just flown away and we just feel helpless again, even if we had many speaking exercises.
In this setting it's really hard to get conscious in this present moment and really do all of
that we've learned in the classroom. What our speaking is missing is the inner
structure, inner frame. And what actually the hand technique brings first of all, it
brings the inner structure, the frame. We use our hand to serve as a support for our
speaking. So we learn how to relax ahhhh, how to say something in relaxing way booookkk.
Using our fingers our thumb long launches the phrase. Once we launch it confidently
we can say the phrase confidently, so we learn how to relax. Then we learn how to put some
power back boookkk. Then we learn how to be more like straight forward with that power,
book. We go through some learning process about
what we want to put on a foundation. What we want to support actually. We want to support
a relaxing and powerful speaking. We want to feel the stresses because all our speaking
is going from a stress to another emphasizing stress, so that's like a drawing like intonational
picture that we're having, the expressive way of our speaking. With our fingers, just
feel each of the syllables and feel where the stress is. And what we do basically we
restore the natural way of our speaking, the natural way of being expressive because you
choose where to put the stress. You choose how to put the stress. Again, the hand serves
as a foundation for that. Now, if you want to learn more about the exact
exercises; how we go from the first like sound to several fingers to saying phrases please
go down below this video see the link to the Improve Program, get inside it's totally
free. There are like step by step lessons with exercises, how do we actually learn that
technique. So that's the technical part; we find the support using our fingers that's
the eliminating the speech impediments part of this technique or this method.
Coming back to this analogy with the river, what we actually do with this hand stuttering
technique, we don't swim the river. We're building a bridge over the river. And like
building a bridge we need the building blocks, we need to put some work into constructing
it so it takes some time. It's not a one day exercise. As we build that bridge and we feel
that we can use our hand technique to say what we want to say, we feel very confident.
We feel again just totally different about our speaking. We feel that we can say whatever
we want to say in any setting. So we basically start to replace that line of code that we're
having that I will stutter at some point. With another one which I can come back to
my powerful, expressive speaking whenever I want. Even if I have an impediment I don't
have any worry. I don't have any anxiety. I don't have any negative feeling about it
like regular people. Everyone has speech impediments from time to time but "regular normal people"
they don't notice that; they don't bother because again they have a different line of
code in their speaking program that "I'm fine, I can come back to my regular speaking anytime."
We replace that stuttering line of code to a new line of code and it's all because we've
restored the inner structure, the inner frame that we are missing right now. Our speaking
is missing that inner structure, inner frame right now. And the cool thing about this hand
stuttering technique is that it's not an external device, not an external app or software or
trick that I'm kind of artificially using in my speaking to get through speech impediments.
Again, you are restoring your natural way of speaking; you put the stresses, the emphasis
you draw your intonational picture of your speaking. Yeah, we're using this is a natural
tool given us by nature because part of the brain which is responsible for speaking. It's
also responsible for motor activities and speaking itself if you think about it just
a bit is a kind of motor activity as well. Again, the cool thing about this hand stuttering
technique is that it's not an external thing it's our internal tool and once we build that
inner structure that we need actually, we don't need to use our hand anymore. We can
just replace it with regular gesture that again, "regular normal people" use to be expressive,
to be powerful. It's already there. The inner structure is already there. It takes some
time like with every pattern. With every automated pattern it takes some time to build it and
we need to use our training speech using our hands for some time in certain situation.
We need to build a certain amount of positive speaking experiences so that they go into
our muscle and emotional memory as well but once it's there it take some time and we don't
need to use our hand anymore, it's just there. Now, I'm going to tell you how this hand stuttering
technique the body of the stuttering ice berg. Remember the top of it speech impediments
and we've talked about right now. We just affect the speech impediments, we eliminate
them, we construct this inner structure or speaking, perfect! But we have the body of
the stuttering iceberg that holds are stuttering fear, fear of stuttering, fear of speaking,
desire to hide the speech impediment and avoidance behavior. All these, they're like huge roots
supporting our stuttering. How do I address that body of the stuttering iceberg? And you
might be thinking now, "Wow it's a cool technique, cool method. I want to do it. Yeah,
c'mon let's do it." And most people like to think like that until they realize that first
as with every skill, you know playing the piano, first you just play with two fingers,
two music notes. You're not playing the piano yet. It's a process; it takes some time to
learn. You would say something like this, so obviously we start at a slower pace then
our usual choppy speaking, that's what we kind of think about as normal as our like regular speaking
or that the one expected from us or we think people expect from us. Here we start to address
the body of the stuttering ice berg because again speech impediments just leaves in the
branches, it's no pint in cutting the leaves when the trunk and the roots of this thing
still staying in place. I want to address all of it, altogether. When you say something
this way in front of other people, starting in a video call you realize like my real life
and this way of speaking, how can I connect these two? Probably there is no way I can
say something this way anywhere in my real life. So we have this uneasy moment where
we realize, yeah that's a cool thing. Inner structure, what you've said before, the bridge
, yeah like all those stuff but I'm not ready to use it just anywhere beside the class room
and even in the class room I feel uneasy using it.
Some people say, "You know it's not natural. I want to get free from stuttering. I want
to stop stuttering being natural, being spontaneous I want to use my normal speaking. I can speak
fluently with myself or in certain settings. Why do I need to go through this uncomfortable,
uneasy procedure or something? I don't know. Why can't I just be natural with my natural
speaking I have?" I totally get this because we all go through this same process of thinking,
through this I want to stay where I am but the point is once we start thinking that I
want to stay where I am it means that I'm pretty much don't want to do anything new.
I want to do everything that I do right now. I want to use the same speaking that I'm using
right now. And here are just two ideas. First of all, remember Albert Einstein, it's a sign
of insanity when we do the same thing over and over again and expect different results.
It doesn't happen this way. If you have the result that means that you've done something
differently. So please, please, please once your mind starts telling you, "Oh no, no,
no I want to be natural. This is not natural." Please take a look at yourself and just recognize
that there is something behind that and that something is I want to do what I've been doing
until now, the same thing and I want to get different result with this. Once you realize
this you will see that there is no other way other than just break the wall of this box
that you're sitting in because you're going back to the same box and that "It's not natural"
is another limiting belief that doesn't let you get out of there. So that was the first
idea. The second idea is when we start to play in this I want to be normal, I want to
use my natural, spontaneous speaking. I want to speak like this. I want to speak like I
do when I'm fluent, when I alone, with somebody else, with my friend. We
start playing this fluency game. When we impose a lot of pressure on ourselves like, "I want
to be fluent, I want to be fluent." I'll be fluent, I want to be confident, I'll try".
And we'll start measuring again our success in terms of fluency or disfluency. Again,
we put ourselves in the center of the stuttering iceberg which represents the stuttering fear,
the desire to hide, to pretend being normal and to avoid anything that we see we can't
handle. So we get just in the center of the stuttering
iceberg. It's so difficult there so the way to break that pattern, to get out of that
stuttering iceberg completely is to start measuring our speaking from just a different
perspective just to have a different dimension to measure success. It's not about fluency
or disfluency like "I want to be fluent, I want to be fluent." It's not about hiding
your stuttering. It's not about hiding your improvement efforts. It's about how you interact
with the speaking environment, speaking setting. It's not about fluency. It's about how you
feel. Do you respond, do you feel that stuttering fear and desire to hide and avoided? Or do
you feel confident to be yourself, to be yourself as a person who tries to improve, as a person
who stutters but is doing something to improve to build that inner structure who is open
about it? Once you do that you just instantly get out of that stuttering iceberg. You're
not there. And basically you break it totally. You replace that fluency dimension to totally
new one. That's what the hand stuttering technique does. Once you use it, you realize that it's
not about fluency, it's about again how you interact with the speaking environment whether
you lead in that speaking environment with your way of speaking, with your style of speaking
or you just respond pretending to be normal with that huge desire to hide it. Hide yourself
with your stuttering. So we want to replace it again with being open and leading, setting
the terms for that speaking contact, speaking environment, speaking setting. We start to
create that speaking settings, speaking environment. We start to lead and that turns it upside
down. Your stuttering just get out of it; it's nowhere, it's broken. The core of it
starts to break. The roots are not working, the roots that support your speech impediments;
they're completely out of the game. By using the hand technique, we address, we affect
not only the speech impediments but maybe the more important thing is that we affect
the very core of the stuttering ice berg. So we affect both the physical thing and the
psychological piece; how I feel as a person about the speaking context, speaking environment,
speaking setting. Again, it's not about fluency. Fluency can come and go. Right now, "I've
done it, I've done. I was fluent." The next day, boom I got speech impediments and I got
thrown back to the very beginning and you feel like there's nothing to be done. You
feel helpless again. So we want to replace that fluency game with another one where you
create, where you lead, where you truly feel free of the whole stuttering iceberg, not
only the speech impediment but the fear of stuttering, the desire to hide it and avoidance
behaviors. You get free from the whole thing. So, again once your mind starts telling you,
"It's not natural, it's not natural. I want to get to my natural speaking" and it will
happen. It happens to everyone who goes through this process. My mind was telling me the same
thing and I didn't use that hand technique in my real life as I kind of have to. So it
goes with every single person but that is basically getting free from stuttering like
talking to those negative thoughts and really trying to address those. You see that their
concept of what is natural is something vague. It's natural to lay in bed to do nothing but
we wake up each day because we have some inner desire to strive, to achieve, to do, to create,
to bring food to the table, to create life, to have sex, to create families, again to
create something, to feel something new. All these combined is life, fulfilling, it brings
some sense of satisfaction, sense of being a game like something unexpected, something
where we're going to, so that is life. What is natural? Laying in bed like feeling that
I don't want to do anything new or feeling that sense of a challenge where you go to
somewhere you've never been before to see again and to feel something new about yourself.
So when your mind is telling you that this is natural or this is natural, both things
are natural. It's just a matter of your choice. And lying on the bed doing the same thing
as you did before, as I say our speaking lacks this inner structure, we need to do it. So
getting up and doing the work and feeling just a bit of a challenge is also absolutely
natural for us, both things are natural. It's a matter of choice. We need some motivation
we need someone to gently push, give us a nudge so that we move towards that direction.
That's what this video is all about. You can find the link to the Improve Program where
I'm showing exactly the exercises, how we can build the new structure of our speaking,
how we can use our hand to restore our natural speaking. You can find the link down below
this video, the Improve Program. It's totally free, yeah I'll see you there. If you like
the video give your thumbs up. For more videos subscribe to this YouTube channel, join Free
From Stutter Facebook group where we share the insights, discussions, lots of cool stuff
there as well. So yeah, see you in the next video.
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