We see many articles with three, five or 15 keys to a happy or successful marriage.
I'm going to share with you one bottom line key that I heard from a long time married
husband many years ago.
I heard a nugget of truth years ago during an interview
with a couple who've been married over 50 years.
The interviewer asked the husband, really?
He asked him, he said, what's the secret to having a happy marriage?
His answer was so simple and so profound that it embedded firmly in my memory bank and I'm
going to share that with you.
Amazon and the Internet are chock full of articles, podcasts, and videos that provide
answers to that question.
Authors and videographers from every stripe and background have an opinion, secular Christian,
new age and everything in between.
If you do a Google search on quote keys, successful marriage.
When I did it, it revealed these titles on the first page of results.
Eight, essential for a successful marriage.
15 keys to a successful marriage, three keys to a successful marriage.
Seven, love keys to a successful marriage.
Five secrets of a successful marriage.
So how many keys are there and I have no doubt that if I click to page two, who knows what
other numbers might have popped up, now look at, I'm deliberately not going to share the
hyperlinks because I have no clue if any of these articles are really good or helpful.
Now, I suspect because they ranked so high that many of them contain factual and useful
elements regardless of the spiritual leanings of the authors.
I believe though that all truth originates with the god of Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob,
and each writer can specifically embrace or accidentally wander into ultimately what the
Bible or the word of God declares.
In our counseling center, we see many clients both in the office and online.
We're struggling with marriage issues.
That's why they come in looking for help.
Personally.
My approach to helping people is to try to help them simplify complex issues.
Let's get behind the presenting problems and discern the real root of what's going on.
Now look at for every person's life, there can be many concerns that facets and in their
background, but I'm going to share with you my view that most marriage issues stem from
one fundamental sources and that's selfishness.
If you I'm in a marriage, are dealing with too selfish partners.
The situations use the chaotic and the Lord really needs work miracles to bring restoration
there.
If you have one selfish partner and one giver, the Union often limps along in survival mode.
As I say with one person giving any other person which beard better at taking or being
selfish.
Often they seek counseling when the giver has reached the bottom of a barrel of what
they have to offer and give no.
Obviously the ideal situation for any marriage is when both partners choose to live unselfish
lifestyles with each other and focusing on meeting their partner's needs in addition
to their own.
That's one of many simple prescriptions in scripture.
Bottom line, husbands are to love their wives as Christ loved the church.
After all, he gave himself up for the year and for the church and served it well.
Why?
It's artists submit or if you like, serve their husbands and you can see this in Ephesians
five, 22 and 23, Ephesians five, 28, Ephesians five, 33 and others.
Now Look, if you've listened this far, you're probably curious enough to find out what the
husband's answer that I that I mentioned in the first paragraph.
Okay, here it is.
This man gave this response to the question about keys to a successful marriage, to his
successful marriage.
He said this, marry someone who's a better person than you are, and do whatever it takes
to keep them happy.
How's that?
Was that worth the.
Wait, that phrase is the essence of unselfishness.
Don't you think?
Like I say, years ago when I first heard this man's response, I didn't make a conscious
effort to memorize it.
The answer I think just resonated with my spirit and stayed with me over the years.
Um, as a Christian husband with me personally with more than 40 years, log with my, with
my fantastic Wifi.
I knew that he had distilled many truths down to that one single nugget of wisdom.
Okay?
I have no idea, man.
I have no memory of whether that was a man was a believer or not.
There was this much I do know there was no biblical reference or preaching involved because
I believe God's principles work in every situation and I know of many unsaved couples who have
healthy and thriving marriages because they live this truth out day by day.
You may not be married to someone that maybe you're stuck in a tough situation, but let
me ask you, are you willing to do whatever it takes to make your spouse happy and we're
not talking about weird, illicit or illegal stuff, right?
You can begin to make that change in your relationship regardless of where you're supposed
to spiritually.
Gaining encouragement from first Peter Three, one.
Well, it mentions why specifically, I personally have seen husbands and wives receiving Jesus
because of the behaviors, not the words of their partner.
If you're stuck in a difficult marriage, I'm not presenting a quick fix, remedy nor encouraging,
staying in an abusive situation.
Look, if you need help, get it.
If your partner doesn't submit to counseling as a couple, do it for yourself.
God wants marriage, his whole healthy and restored.
He can show you
how to cooperate with him and walk in peace and victory as you made that fabulous.
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