Hello that was the softest hello I have ever said and if you're coming back to my channel
You will know I have really silly humor
So if someone doesn't know me and they're coming here
I want them to know that so I can't think of a witty joke. Normally I can
In my free time I add to this list of cartoon characters
I want to dress up as currently I've dressed up to Sakura from Naruto Princess Bubblegum
And it's continually going that was just a cute fact. It wasn't my humor though. Darn it. Hi
I have Steven universe on in the back. It's very own brand for me
It's this adorable cartoon very cute a little bit of gay a little bit of color a little bit
Music what I'd like to you know aspire to have in my life basically my life
I'm filming this on my phone right now because I just want to get this out there as soon as possible
I need to get this off my chest and it's super relevant in my life. I
Know that talking about this will not only help myself a lot
But will help all of you and that's what's really cool about my channel. I like to take my experiences
I'm learning as a teenager, etc
I try to allow for there to be some type of mental health education so that everything just kind of ties together
And yeah as a psychology student mental health is something
That's very prevalent on my channel and I hope this resonates with someone and even if it'll allow for you to have perspective
And to see things differently and to have sympathy for those that do you go through this how to help a friend whatever it is
So soft. Yeah, I'm really excited to talk about this. I feel really ready
Yeah, and some more people see this video if you could like this, that'd be really cool
My past few videos have been very serious and I really apologize. It's just I really really really really
have had a lot of serious things going on in my life personal life wise and that's what's
Relevant in my life and it's gonna help people
so I just feel like I need to talk about this and I just I've come to a lot of
Realizations and things like that, but I'm still weird as heck and I am still crying over the end of Club Penguin
Basically, it's still Jesse painting. Yeah, and that was way too serious for me. So
What a dad there you go, that's Jesse page, that's the girl we all know
Also, that's the guitar. My dad got me in like the guitar in the back in these glasses, man
I look cool. I would date me I would take me to the prom I would
We said stuff it's thought appropriate what's it I was gonna make like a webkinz joke
I want to cartoons. Okay, it started. Hello
It is currently the beginning of December and Wow, I share everything on this channel
But I can't imagine from me
Making my channel any differently even though I do really sometimes miss my fandom DIY videos
I was cheated on
yeah, I don't really want to get too much into the details and blaming and I don't want anyone to attack this person and that's
Never what I would hope for I want to talk more about how it affected me. And how other
people how you can be prepared for the situation and
How to help a friend that's going through it. Yeah
Basically, I was in my first relationship and this person
you know, very very
expressive with how much I meant to them and I was still very new and
Cautious and was a little scared to be like that back
And then after this person went on a trip
I finally started to express that but right when I finally started to accept that this person
Started to stop talking to me as much yeah
And then started canceling. This person would have never cancelled and then this person broke up with me
This person said they were going through
Thing and they weren't able to be a good partner at the time and I fully it was like, you know what? That's okay
Like you do you thank you for being mature about it
And I even was like, you know, you helped me through a lot like I can help you
You know, we can just take a break like whatever it is. And this person was very adamant about
No, like I think we need to end this and I was really heartbroken
Yeah, it really hurt me
It was my first
Relationship and I think after that a lot of people struggle with well anyone ever like me like well anyone ever like me again?
Did this person even like me am I even like a bowl did I do something wrong? And this person said it was nothing
I did and it was everything they did and so on but
What is it
Me my life
representation hashtag relatable
So I wouldn't do like a whole year of being
Super insecure and not thinking there was something wrong with me and I was unlovable and all this stuff and then already in that relationship
this person unknowingly was
participating and quite a bit of bisexual erasure
Which I was planning on coming out fun fact
Winter of last year like I had a video
Planned and I was gonna make it with Steph who's like she's like my lesbian mom. I love her
We all need a lesbian mom. We love sirens. I know I'm hot but I'm not that hard
Kidding not funny. Anyways, hi
so I was all ready to come out but this person made some comments and I I just think this person was
Hopefully this person was just you know, when educated and just didn't know it just led me to go further into that damn closet
Just like a little bit of backstory just to tie something in but anyways
Even though this person said it was them and they were going through something. I was led to believe
It was my fault, even though I really hadn't done anything like sometimes when this person's done very long long long long letters
I didn't know how to reciprocate back but I never was me and I just be like, oh I care a lot about you
Too type of thing
But I was very cautious just because it was my first relationship but something I feel like I don't know
I had a very strong inclination this person stopped
Talking to me after they went on a trip and the way this person described the trip. It was very crazy
and there was you know
Like lots of breaking of rules and things like that and obviously when you hear explanations like that
and then this person just goes from you know, texting you like crazy everyday to
Canceling plans. You're you're very insecure. I was so insecure and when the person was breaking up with me
I asked the person if something happened on their trip and the person said to my face no, which I mean
People don't admit things to your face
but um
Then I had quite a few people come forward to me and ended this morning that this person did indeed
cheat on me during that trip
And it's really sad. It's the whole relationship this person
I was a lot younger and this person was like, you know
Like my parents are always saying like make sure you protect her like it's her first relationship
You better not break her heart, and I don't know
I just I I
Can't imagine she'd like be getting into a relationship with someone way younger and it's like their first
Relationship and you can't imagine doing that with anyone no matter what?
Relationship no matter how well they are no matter who they are
What gender what their sexuality is no matter what how I it's crazy weird world. We live in
Honesty is so important
if you're not ready to be in a committed relationship people need to be honest with you and you
deserve that honesty naturally
We all get scared of being direct about things we want sometimes I'm really submissive person and I get like that
But it's better if it'll prevent more hurting in the long run
Yeah
Especially you're doing it because you care
Sorry, it's getting dark. Yeah. So anyways, I could have found my room and cried could have felt worse about myself
But I took him in it and I reflected and I thought of exactly how I wanted to take in this information
And how I wanted for it to affect me and make me stronger as a person. So these are some things that helped me
I'm going to talk through it so that hopefully it helps all of you
Yeah, so number one is to not blame yourself. It is so incredibly easy to
blame yourself to feel like there's something wrong with you to fall into a pool of
Self-hatred but it isn't gonna do you any good and I promise you you're not being realistic
I was like no like I am thinking realistically, you know, but not the case
I promise you not everyone hates you you're people out there that love you
There are people that are meant to be your friends or people that maybe don't click with and that's okay
there are people that are going to be really horrible to you and they're gonna step on you and
Certain people that cheat on you are gonna make you feel like you're an object
certain people if you do end up getting cheated if it happens and I wouldn't wish this on any human being but I would say
The most important thing is someone else harmed you it's something that wasn't right to you
And the last thing you want to do is also mentally or physically hurt yourself
So please don't do that to is always always always take your friendship
Seriously moments like this are gonna make you just appreciate your friends
You ten times more always appreciate your friends always shit your pals growing up. I only had friends on Club Penguin
Why am I bringing the club penguin think back?
It's not relevant at all
Yeah
There are always going to be people that
Are there find a support system get a support system talk to people don't bottle it all in if you're not
Ok, that's ok
Allow yourself to not be ok
Accept that and tell someone that you're not feeling ok 3 is you don't need to move on right away
Take your time live your life. Take care of yourself. It's ok. It's ok. I promise you but take your time
There's no rush at all. I promise if you can really monitor
What information is going to trigger some of these?
Feelings that aren't great for lack of better words units different stories unfollow
It's ok
if it's gonna make you feel better because
You shouldn't have to suffer such horrible internal conflict. Every time you scroll through social media because we all do it
we all do it's a pretty common part of our lives now and we want to make these things as easy as
possible
5 is sometimes helping other people
Reminds me that the world is so much bigger than my one problem and it doesn't mean that it's not okay for me to be
Hurt and it's not okay for me to not feel
Okay, or to acknowledge this as a problem or to even feel bad for myself. That's okay
I'm a lot of feel bad for myself, but helping another friend that's going through something or whatever it is
it reminds you that we're all working on ourselves for all recovering and even one way to think about it in this situation is
to acknowledge
This person is also probably going through something if they felt the need to do this to another human and even see that perspective
but yeah, even something that's totally irrelevant to even
Relationships help a friend move whatever it is helping a friend with something else
It just reminds you that life continually moves and changes and sometimes it's hard to believe in your own life
But when you see it happen in someone else's life, then you realize it's possible
Yeah, I hope you guys enjoyed and this happened me this morning. I'm very proud of myself for filming this
It's definitely really hard to talk about online and in general and for me
I know my people you guys are all so mature. You guys won't do this, but you know, just don't assume anything
Don't sin hate to any human for me. We never know what someone else is going through and it's not gonna help anything
But if you could just like read love in the comments, I'm such a little corny girl and that would be cool logo
Don't my shirt is I wish you could have seen it. We're in the video now. We're there. All right, I would date me
Man, miss it out
another thing that helps comedic relief when I found out I actually started laughing just because the way I found out it was just very
Motivating I said, I feel like I'm in an episode of Gossip Girl
because I was like
this seems like the type of thing that would happen in Gossip Girl like you find out someone cheated on you in another country like
It reminds you something from a TV show. I was like, wow, my life really is a reality show. Yeah
comedic relief I
Love it. I love you all so much. I miss you
Well, actually I've been uploading pretty often
but I'm gonna really work on just continually uploading making sure as connected as possible and
Look forward to new videos. They really want to make some mental health-related short films. It's just a matter of planning
Yeah
And so on and the past three years have been so focused on YouTube that have kind of select my personal life under the rug
Yeah
that's
attractive so I'm just kind of taking it back out from under the rug and also taking that sexuality out of the closet and
Living my life sick
Hope you guys enjoyed I'm gonna be to your pages on the screen as well as your posts and I'll see you guys
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