12 Surprising Secrets of the INFJ Personality Type
INFJ from the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator instrument is believed to be the rarest personality
type, and to make up less than 2% of the population.
INFJs can be difficult to spot due to the fact that they are not prevalent in society
and tend to be reserved individuals.
However, INFJs make fiercely loyal friends, empathetic and organized workers, and exceptional
leaders for causes they deem worthy and for the greater good of humanity.
In this video, I'm going to share with you 12 surprising secrets of the INFJ personality
type.
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So, let's take a look at some of the "secrets" of what it means to be an INFJ personality
type.
1.
INFJs are true introverts.
Yet people not very close to them believe them to be extroverts.
This happens because INFJs can be social chameleons and have an innate ability to blend in in
any social setting.
The INFJ can be the life of the party for a night or two, showcasing their inviting
nature and vivaciousness.
However, this is never prolonged because, in introverted-fashion, they lose energy from
others.
Those close to an INFJ know that this type prefers bars over clubs and barbecues over
balls, and can give a speech to thousands of people
but cringes at the idea of mingling with the crowd afterward.
Eventually, this type will need to retreat home for some quiet time to "recharge their
batteries," or they will become very on-edge and exhausted.
2.
INFJs are sensitive to conflict.
Fe makes INFJs seek harmony in their relationships.
They strive to create good feelings whenever they interact with someone.
So when conflict arises, especially in close relationships, INFJs can become extremely
distressed.
They may have trouble sleeping or lose focus at school or work.
They may even feel the stress of the conflict physically in their bodies, getting headaches,
muscle aches, upset stomaches, etc.
This does not mean INFJs should avoid conflict by becoming passive pushovers or constant
people-pleasers.
INFJs should set boundaries and stick up for their own needs.
They can do this in a way that's diplomatic, using the warmth and understanding that flow
naturally from their Fe.
3.
One of their greatest strengths is their ability to create intimacy.
In the presence of casual acquaintances, INFJs might come across as quiet and reserved.
Remember, they usually don't open up to people right away.
But INFJs are actually extremely relational.
Because they can feel other people's pain and joy, they are able to truly walk in another
person's shoes like no other personality type can.
This ability to empathize creates strong bonds of intimacy.
4.
INFJs absorb other people's emotions.
No other Myers-Briggs personality type has this unique ability.
Some INFJs even report absorbing the emotions of strangers.
An INFJ may suddenly feel grumpy, only to look around the room and discover a grumpy-looking
person has just walked in.
The closer the person is emotionally to the INFJ, like a spouse or best friend, the more
likely it is that the INFJ will absorb that person's mental state.
To feel not only your own strong emotions, but those of other people too, can be overwhelming.
But the INFJ's ability can also be used to bring emotional healing and comfort to
others.
"The ability to unconsciously absorb other people's emotions with very little information
to go on.
"INFJs have the ability to get inside the suffering of others and tell them it's going
to be okay."
5.
INFJs feel profoundly misunderstood.
Many INFJs feel deeply misunderstood.
The reason many people are not on the same wavelength as the INFJ is because the INFJ's
dominant function is Introverted Intuition (Ni).
(A personality type's "dominant function" is the primary way that person takes in and
processes information.
It's the main way a person interacts with the world.)
Ni subconsciously notices patterns.
Specifically, INFJs notice patterns related to human nature,
because their secondary function, Extroverted Feeling (Fe), orients them toward people.
Ni works mysteriously and subconsciously.
It allows the INFJ to know information without knowing why or how they know it.
Often, INFJs give up trying to explain their ability.
Or they don't try at all, because they know how unusual it sounds.
This leaves them feeling isolated and misunderstood.
6.
INFJs have amazing long-range forecasting abilities.
Sometimes INFJs may feel like prophets or fortune-tellers.
That's because Ni helps them see the big picture, notice patterns, and make predictions
for the future based on the patterns they've observed.
For example, let's say an INFJ meets a new love interest.
Right away, possibly within minutes, they start predicting where the relationship could
go.
Could they see themselves marrying this person or would it just be a fling?
If they don't think the relationship will bring the desired outcome, "they may immediately
cut themselves off from that relationship.
However, INFJs are not actually psychic.
They see what could be, not necessarily what will happen with absolute certainty.
But mature INFJs have honed their forecasting abilities well.
7.
Though they are Feelers, INFJs can easily access their Thinking ability.
INFJs often mistype as INTJs, the "Thinking" twin of the INFJ.
Although INFJs are indeed people-oriented, due to their third function, Introverted Thinking
(Ti), they are also analytical and scientific.
They may enjoy careers in technology, the sciences, and research.
Because Fe is second in their functional stack and Ti is third, these two functions are fairly
balanced in the INFJ.
Indeed, INFJs don't outwardly appear as emotional as an ENFJ or ESFJ, whose Feeling
function is their dominant function.
An INFJ might lament that they are "too emotional for the Thinkers but too logical
for the Feelers."
But this common sense comes in handy, making INFJs generally balanced and well-rounded.
8.
INFJs know a lot about people.
Ni and Fe work together to gather information about people.
But INFJs don't just remember when someone's birthday is or how they take their coffee;
INFJs use Ni to penetrate below the surface.
They get into other people's heads and figure out what makes them tick.
For example, they understand that the emotional pain their friend is experiencing stems not
just from their ex's recent unkind words, but also from a deep fear of not feeling valued.
They often know when someone is lying even to themselves.
INFJs are not consciously aware of how they know so much about other people, and they
rarely reveal the depth of their knowledge.
9.
Many relationships are one-sided for INFJs.
INFJs tend to be great listeners because they truly care about other people.
Likewise, they enjoy helping others understand their emotions and grow.
They're nicknamed "the Counselor" for a reason.
Unfortunately, this may result in the INFJ's relationships becoming one-sided.
Other people come to the INFJ when they need to vent.
Or they may take advantage of the INFJ's desire to help.
One day, the INFJ wakes up and wonders why their relationships are so draining.
The people in the INFJ's life are getting so much out of the relationship but the INFJ
is getting little in return.
What INFJs need is relationships that are a two-way exchange of fulfillment, support,
and understanding.
10.
INFJs are looking for their soul mates.
INFJs desire to connect deeply with others.
Shallow, one-sided relationships won't do.
Likewise, because they are introverts, they have limited social energy.
So INFJs look for friends or a partner who are their "soul mates."
These are people who truly click with the INFJ and can feed their very real need for
authentic connection, intimacy, and meaningful conversation.
However, INFJs often struggle to create the kind of relationships they desire.
When they do find people with whom they truly connect, it feels like a miracle.
11.
INFJs are "fixers," and they gravitate towards people who need help.
This type loves a good fixer-upper and with their ability to see the "good bones" of another
person, their true motives and intentions, and to readily provide comfort and compassion,
they fall victim to the Broken Wing Theory, or the idea that they can rescue others who
have a "broken wing," or who have been dealt a poor hand.
This can be rewarding for the hopeful INFJ but also frustrating and depleting when boundaries
are overstepped.
12.
INFJs are visionaries who always see the big picture.
This type tends to always operate about ten steps ahead.
They are skilled planners and focus their sights on the end goal and what is needed
to propel them there.
However, while INFJs are off in dreamland about their futures, they can sometimes forget
to be present in the world that is happening now.
As a result, they do well with other more grounded types who can remind them to live
in the moment.
All in all, that's the 12 surprising secrets of the INFJ personality type.
Really cool information isn't it.
Please share your thoughts and experiences in the comments below!
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