This is Couple's Court With The Cutlers.
[KEITH] This is the case of Bearden vs Bearden.
You all have been married for seven years
and your anniversary is coming up, is that right?
[YOLADA] That's right. [JEROME] Correct.
Now, in your court papers, it was indicated
that there was some infidelity in the beginning of your marriage
but you all worked past that.
But Ms. Bearden you brought this case
because you think that there is something going on now.
[YOLANDA] Yes, Your Honor. [KEITH] Okay.
Tell us what happened in the past.
I received a phone call from my family member.
And she told me "Did you know that
Jerome was in Las Vegas?"
And I said no.
And then she said, "Well, he's been out there for three days".
So, immediately, I'm calling his phone.
He's not picking up, I keep calling.
Text message and text message.
Three days go by,
then he finally calls.
He tells me that basically he went to Las Vegas
with my family member's boyfriend,
they just had fun, whatever.
Okay, so I brushed it off.
We moved in to our place,
and two weeks after,
I notice strange things happening.
Phone calls in the middle of the night,
text messages,
going into the bathroom to use the phone.
[YOLANDA] Right. [DANA] And this is early in your marriage?
This is three months.
[AUDIENCE EXCLAIMING]
[DANA] Three months in your marriage, [YOLDANA] Three months.
[DANA] and you're finding all this? [YOLANDA] Yes.
Ain't no finding, he's doing.
He's doing.
So, of course, I'm an investigator.
I need to know.
So, he go get drunk a little bit,
perfect time to look at the phone.
And I'm seeing text messages, "Hey, baby, how are you?"
So I addressed them, I said, "What's going on?"
He said, "Oh, it's nobody, it's nobody."
"What do you mean 'nobody'?"
You don't be talking to nobody, talking like "Hey, baby."
So, couple months go by,
I get a ring at the doorbell.
I go to the door.
He comes following behind, coming down the stairs.
Right?
"What you doing coming down the stairs? I got this."
So I go to the door.
There's a sonogram on the door.
[AUDIENCE EXCLAIMING]
Somebody taped a sonogram on your door?
[YOLANDA] She taped it on the door, right.
[DANA] And this is again early in your marriage?
Yes, ma'am.
All right, so, Mr. Bearden,
[JEROME] Yes, ma'am. [DANA] Is this story that's being told
the story that happened?
It happened like that but it wasn't "like that," though.
So, you know, I mean...
it was like a friend with benefits kind of like thing.
And I actually didn't expect it to go kinda farther than what it did.
And I don't even think that sonogram was for me anyways.
[YOLANDA] Who was it for? [JEROME] That was like...
[YOLANDA] Who was it for? [JEROME] That could've been anybody's baby
or something like that. I mean, come on now, at the end of the day,
you couldn't tell off a sonogram
that that's actually my child.
Like, she could've probably already been pregnant at the end of the day, so...
You was with her, right?
I don't believe that was my baby, anyway.
[DANA] Okay, but let's cut to the chase.
Whether it's your baby or not, we're not here to decide that.
[JEROME] Right. [DANA] What I do wanna confirm is
you had a friend with benefits within three months of your marriage.
It was something that I was getting out of her
that obviously I wasn't getting from her.
[YOLANDA] Oh, what was it? [JEROME] So, that's the reason why...
[YOLANDA] What was it? [JEROME] I mean...
Well, I'm almost scared to ask,
what was she doing that your wife wasn't doing?
Right, 'cause I can bounce that thing too.
[JEROME] Uh...
[KEITH] Okay, yeah.
It's true.
If you don't ask, you don't get.
[YOLANDA] Right. [JEROME] That's true.
So, obviously, what happened in Vegas didn't stay in Vegas.
[JEROME] It didn't stay in Vegas. [YOLANDA] Sure didn't.
[YOLANDA] Sure didn't. [JEROME] And it was so bad the way it happened
because, I mean, I got basically told on, so...
I mean, it would've stayed in Vegas, but...
Are you mad because of what you did
[KEITH] or you got mad... [JEROME] 'Cause I got caught.
[KEITH] ...'cause you got caught? [YOLANDA] 'Cause he got caught.
[AUDIENCE EXCLAIMING]
[JEROME] Mad 'cause I got caught.
I mean, this is what probably, you know, got my marriage the way it is right now.
[YOLANDA] Mm-hmm. [JEROME] So...
[DANA] That was early in your marriage. [YOLANDA] Mm-hmm.
We're seven years down the road, so you stayed.
[YOLANDA] Oh, yeah. [DANA] I need to know
what made you stay
'cause there have been a lot of folks who'd be like, "Deuces."
[YOLANDA] No. [JEROME] Right.
Because he was... He's my superhero.
[DANA] All right. All right.
He is the one that took me out of the relationship that I was in before.
He took me and my kids and he didn't even know me.
He's that guy that women dream about all the time.
I want that guy.
Mr. Bearden, what was it about her that you liked?
You know, when I first met her, I knew she was like a shooting star to me, um...
Wow.
I mean, it's just... it's crazy. I mean, we're compatible, I mean,
when I first seen her walking towards me, it was like poetry in motion.
I already knew right then and there.
And you can just see it in our pictures, there's love there
for like, a long, everlasting...
That's my heart. A Perfect woman.
[DANA] So, you all got through it 'cause
she's perfect for you
[DANA] and he's your superhero? [YOLANDA] Yes, ma'am.
Did he vow to you he wasn't gonna ever do this again?
Yes, ma'am. He said that from this point on...
it's gonna be no more.
No more cheating, no more talking to women, no more.
[DANA] And you mean that today? [JEROME] Yes, ma'am.
[KEITH] And you took him back because of that? [YOLANDA] Yes, sir.
What are you here to do in light of that vow
and in light of this past?
I'm trying to, like, she said, rebuild my marriage,
that's why I'm going through construction right now, so...
I can't be without her. So, I'm willing to do whatever it takes.
And, Ms. Bearden, but you're here today
because you think he's broke that second vow to you.
Yes, ma'am.
Why do you specifically believe he's cheating?
Okay, so, I noticed changes in our marriage again.
So, as I notice the changes, I noticed that he wasn't...
He'll keep his phone on him.
He wouldn't set it down.
So, of course, it was a party that we were doing,
he got drunk again, and when I investigated,
um, I seen text messages.
And it wasn't just normal text messages.
[KEITH] What did they say? [YOLANDA] They were saying...
He was saying he wants to have sex with her.
But she wanted a relationship.
[KEITH] Mr. Bearden. Okay.
Did you text another woman to say, "I want to have sex with you"?
[JEROME] No. [KEITH] She found these texts in your phone.
I don't remember that.
That's the same... that's the same thing I got.
[KEITH] If you don't remember, it doesn't mean it didn't happen.
[JEROME] I don't remember that. [YOLANDA] He remember.
[YOLANDA] He remember 'cause I remember.
I don't remember or recall that happening, at all.
What was it?
[KEITH] Mr. Bearden, you made a vow to your wife
after you got caught, said that it would never happen again
and now she's saying she found texts in your phone
indicating that it happened again.
Yeah, it happened.
[KEITH] It did happen again? [JEROME] It happened.
[DANA] So you did send a text to a woman saying, "I wanna have sex with you."
Yes, ma'am.
It wasn't gonna be nobody that... nothing meant of it, though, but,
um, it was just a conversation.
Okay, why would you just have a "conversation"
about wanting to have sex with another woman?
I'm human. Being stupid.
Did you tell her at the time, "Yeah, that's me, I did it, I was wrong,"
or are you just now telling her that today?
Just now.
How are you feeling? I see the tears in your eyes. Talk to me.
It's an ongoing thing.
If I'm the person that you dreamed of,
why are we going through this?
I don't cheat on you.
I don't talk... If I do talk to a dude, it's a friend that I know,
from years ago, before you.
So why are we going through this?
[JEROME] I mean, when you don't have like conversation in your household, it's hard,
you know, to kinda move on with what you're trying to do.
And, like, that's what really happened.
The fact that I wasn't getting no conversation, no nothing,
it was because of the last time.
So we've been going this whole time, just like,
buddy buddies and stuff like that instead of, like, really...
[YOLANDA] No, it's not. [JEROME] ...being together, as in a marriage, so...
[JEROME] So what am I supposed to do? [DANA] Okay.
[DANA] And we get the importance of conversation. [KEITH] Right.
[DANA] Communication is essential. [JEROME] It's the key.
That's the only way we survived all these years
because the communication may not always be pleasant
but it's communication,
and as long as you're communicating, that helps. I mean, that's...
that's one of the secrets of our relationships.
So, Ms. Bearden, you had to have been hurt when you saw those text messages.
[YOLANDA] Yes, ma'am. [DANA] Did you try to find the woman?
I did. I talked to her.
[DANA] What did she say? [YOLANDA] I spoke to her.
I said, "Do you know that he is married and he has five kids?"
No, four at the time.
She said, "No, I did not know that."
Did you ask her had they had sex?
[YOLANDA] I asked her, she said no.
I don't believe that. I mean, a woman can say anything, just what she wants.
She can tell... I'm the wife.
She's the other woman, she can tell me whatever.
All right. And so, Mr. Bearden,
when she confronts you with this conversation
that she's had with this other woman,
who you've texted to say, "I wanna have sex with you,"
what do you tell your wife in response to that?
It was an accident, basically.
[DANA] You say it was an accident? [JEROME] It was an accident.
You accidentally texted another woman
that you want to have sex with her.
I mean, it sounds bad and it make me look
definitely bad or even worse by saying it
but, yes, I was about to go out elsewhere
and find what I didn't get... wasn't getting at home.
[KEITH] But you're saying you didn't do it. [JEROME] No.
Yes, ma'am.
All right, Ms. Bearden, we've talked about the text messages,
have you found any or do you have any physical evidence...
[YOLANDA] Yes. [DANA] ...that Mr. Bearden is cheating?
[YOLANDA] Yes, Your Honor. [DANA] Okay, tell me about that.
So, with the same woman, I'm assuming,
for Mother's Day, he had bought me some fruit arrangements.
[DANA] Okay. [YOLANDA] Okay.
And so, that was delivered to the house.
So, like a month after that I got my bank statement. I see fruit arrangements twice
with two different prices.
[DANA] Okay. [YOLANDA] Okay, so,
me being an investigator,
I called Fruit Arrangements,
and I talked to a nice young lady
and she described what my wonderful husband sent me.
She said he was nice, he was sweet, he was funny.
I said, "Well, I wanna know if you can tell me what was bought."
She said, "Sure."
So I gave her the information and she told me
the first item was a fruit arrangement for $80.
And it was delivered.
So I said, "Okay, that's mine, it's okay."
And so she said, "The second one was picked up.
And it was with chocolate covered strawberries,
12.
So somebody deserved 12 chocolate covered strawberries?
[YOLANDA] I sure didn't get it. [DANA] I presume you did not get those 12...
I didn't get no strawberries, his mama didn't get no strawberries either.
Mr. Bearden, where did the strawberries land?
It accidentally got swiped twice,
that's the only thing that happened, I mean,
it didn't go to nobody else.
Okay, Mr. Bearden, all right, wait, hold on, all right.
[JEROME] Swiped twice. [KEITH] Did you send a fruit arrangement to your wife?
[JEROME] Yes. [KEITH] Did you send a second fruit arrangement to your wife?
[JEROME] Yes. [KEITH] You sent her two?
[JEROME] Twice. [KEITH] No, did you send her two fruit arrangements?
[JEROME] No, I didn't. [KEITH] So you only sent one to your wife?
Yes, sir.
[KEITH] All right, did you order chocolate covered strawberries?
Yes.
[KEITH] Okay, did you send those to your wife?
[YOLANDA] No. [JEROME] No.
[KEITH] Who did you send those to? [JEROME] The other girl.
The other girl?
[DANA] And this is the first time you're hearing this? [YOLANDA] Yes, this is.
[KEITH] Okay, so it wasn't a swiped twice situation? [JEROME] No.
I'm not liking what I'm hearing.
But I am appreciating that you're being truthful.
This is the place to come clean.
So, I can live with that.
But she can't live
with you and another woman.
And she can't live with this uncertainty.
And she shouldn't have to.
[JEROME] You're right.
[DANA] So the court has called a friend of the court.
Ms. Tami Roman
who appears on the TV show Basketball Wives LA
and is the author of the book Mistress 101.
Ron, would you escort Ms. Roman in?
Yes, Your Honor.
[DANA] Hey, how are you?
[TAMI] How are you? [KEITH] It's good to see you.
[DANA] So good to see you. [TAMI] Same here. Happy to be here.
[DANA] You have dealt with,
written about...
[TAMI] Yes. [DANA] ...infidelity.
Hmm, tell me abut it.
Would you share with Ms. Bearden
what you know about that and how to deal with it?
First thing I want to say to you is I am heated.
'Cause let me tell you what I see,
A beautiful, intelligent, dynamic woman
who does not recognize her worth and her value.
That's what I've been listening to.
Okay.
I've been you.
I've been that woman who sat home, who tried to be a goop wife,
who tried to be positive, who tried to uplift my man,
And what was he doing? He was out with every chick
in every city that he visited.
I've been on the phone,
I've talked to the young lady, "Please leave my husband alone."
"I will...
two kids later."
Okay.
And I'm gonna challenge you,
okay, she said
that you fell in love with her children first.
[JEROME] Mm-hmm.
[TAMI] Don't you know those kids are looking up to you? [JEROME] Yes.
Don't you know those kids need you to be a representative
and be the king that you're supposed to be?
And how you're treating their mother is unacceptable.
[APPLAUSE]
[JEROME] You're right. You're right. You're right.
Now, that's real talk. That's real talk for you.
And you keep saying, "Well, I made a mistake."
Mistake is one time.
Now you're giving her behavior, consistent behavior, in this relationship.
The longer you keep using, "Well, there is lack of communication,"
the longer you keep making excuses
for why you're having this behavior,
then that means you really don't want to be in that situation.
All right, Mr. Bearden, you're almost tearing up, I can see it.
'Cause it's crazy, I'm really like,
feeling like the bad person in this, and it's like,
you know, I always heard her saying, "Once a cheater, always a cheater"
and stuff like that, but...
Excuse me one second, you missed what I said at the top.
Which was I need you to be a king,
and show her a different type of behavior.
[JEROME] Right. [TAMI] Because repeating the same thing
means you're not changing.
I didn't say, "A cheater was always gonna be a cheater"
but I'm saying prove that.
Don't talk about it, be about it.
[JEROME] Right. [KEITH] There you go.
Mr. Bearden,
we've talked about the importance of honesty
and I'm not getting the sense
that you're being completely honest with us.
This woman that you were texting,
the woman you sent a fruit arrangement to,
have you been intimate with that woman?
This woman that you were texting,
the woman you sent a fruit arrangement to,
have you been intimate with that woman?
Yes.
You have?
It was like...
[SIGHS] Crazy.
Like a couple of times.
It shouldn't have happened.
But...
I mean, that's why I'm here trying to tell her the truth,
so I can try to get this all over with.
I mean, it was...
Oh, my God, I can't believe...
you know, it happened but it happened.
When was the last time you were with this woman?
Intimately.
[SIGHS HEAVILY]
Like a week ago, couple of weeks ago.
Ms. Bearden, you're crying, I can see the tears coming down your face.
I feel hurt.
I feel... I feel used.
I mean, I love my husband
I'm in love with my husband.
He's my number one hero.
So I'm not gonna divorce him, I don't believe in divorce.
Mr. Bearden, I commend you for being here,
I also commend you for telling the hard truth,
'cause it's gotta be embarrassing to you.
But here's the deal, you keep putting yourself in situations
where it's gonna lead to infidelity.
You can't flirt and have conversations
and text messages with these women,
and wink wink at 'em and think it's not going to lead to something bad.
[YOLANDA] Right. [DANA] I love this man.
[JEROME] Mm-hmm.
Love is strong but it's not enough.
You got to do something with that love,
I mean, you got to do something with it.
Talk is cheap.
You got to put yourself in it, all the way in.
And what I would say to you is if you spend all of your time
working on loving her
you ain't gonna have the energy or the time to fool with these other women.
[APPLAUSE]
This court has counseling and resources available for both of you
as you move forward, as you make this work.
We want you to take advantage of those resources.
As we say in this court,
do not cheat yourself out of a chance
for a good relationship.
This court is adjourned.
Không có nhận xét nào:
Đăng nhận xét