Oh, hey new kid the Coon told me he wants you to question the witness so go ahead hi Betty
Go ahead new kid ask anything you want oh
That's smart using the silent treatment can really make a witness aunty
I look I know y'all need my help is shit, but I ain't talking to you go get my medication
your medication yeah
I can't think straight without my medication. You got to go pick up my prescription. Eye until you get my prescription
I ain't tellin you little heroes
Well alright fine looks like you got more work with your new kid, but before you go back out in the world
I want to show you something that might fuck your crime-fighting. Let's get into my face
All right new kid it's time to take your superpowers to the next level go ahead and stand in the DNA's simulated
All right, you kids just stand still and I'll talk you booted
Check out the new hero DNA slide, I opened up his stuff you insert here will make a big impact on your combat
your combat
effectiveness
Pick the one that best suits your power low down just keep in mind in a big damn
It fruits may mean less health or vice versa kind of like how steroids shrink your buffs or so Everett
Well alright now you know what real power feels like pretty dang good
That's a dude you get hope you have a grasp of it now get out there and kick some
booty
You made a real mistake when you attacked us
Totally spitting your food
My body lotion smells like strawberries and now you didn't tell duty
I'm gonna. What do you like my mama? Did my daddy, sweetie? That's part of my pageant choreo
I'm gonna show you how we put the dump
The phrase out
Hey, we've got a special on the Zuni chicken we eat two pounds and then he the third pound
It's time for you to meet someone
Break you in half stick you up my bus
So it's about to get stuff someplace dark and smelly
The wrong raisins sugar
Thousand people just dislike the picture of me and ballet class on Instagram right now
Hello new kid
Don't worry. I'm unfriending their instagrams exponentially they will be back for a while you gotta be careful playing superhero
You can make a lot of enemies
Some boys think girls don't make good superheroes. What do you think you think girls are just as good at gamers as you boys?
You'd like to remain mysterious huh fine look you've got problems new kid whatever you did last night
Got a lot of people's attention bad people
There's a crime boss who's been calling the shots here in South Park and now that person is planning to run for office
Whatever you did last night is scared
I'm tracking everyone's instagrams and Facebook's and we'll continue to cross-reference with tumblr while monitoring Twitter and LinkedIn if you need information
Just know you can rely on a call girl
Too bad new kid miners aren't allowed in a place like that
Of course you aren't just any miner
Can I get some more fun fries
You can get your food to go if you want QT, I'm busy
You need to buy a pass before I would dream of selfie with you, sweetie
Sorry I only follow point manager
I know you
I
Don't follow cyborgs superhero. It's my thing
What do you learn right busy?
If you buy one of our calendars okay your best forever
Superheroes
Feathers will be violated. Let's go kiddies. I got born to watch
Make it special for you crap it sprung gaywads
We'll be violated
Member that Wonder Twins, I'm a burn of a space monkey yeah, baby day, maybe I knew I mean had a bum
Are we having fun yet TV
With a coolest guy Dunraven
I have a really good feeling about this guy
That really hurt my friends you watching
The double Cobra, that's at the face
Another photo folks before the might of tuna friends go gots to kid
Your turn is now property of Coon and friend to nan the prowl
All day ladies I can do this all day
Wake up super Craig get your fucking head in the game
Don't know how to read a room next time wait before things get awkward
That sucks for you you kid
My GERD
I am out of luck ticket. That was a thorough fishing
You answer to it friend right guys dramatic to move incoming
Bravo great job, etc etc
South Park could use some more female heroes
The children in this town need to learn to control their bodily functions
Who's snatching all these cats, I mean what the fuck?
Come here boy. I'll show you how to pop wheelies
Hello young person I'm the mayor of South Park you must be very excited to be here
Well alright look you might be able to help me this new crime wave in town it isn't a
Coincidence some group or someone is trying to make me look bad
The more crime goes up the more people start calling for my head whoever is behind this wants to see me get replaced
I need people like you, please
Find out who was behind the crime wave in our town my political life depends on it
The common folks can relate to me. I've been known to have a glass of rose a before 7:00. Yes, ma'am
What kid doesn't love a photo with the highest ranking official of their municipal government
Very maybe if the mayor follows you
Don't get the mayor embroiled in your farting business Wow yes, I love engaging in social media activities. It's so important
Great maybe let's take a picture future voter
On behalf of the entire mayor's office, thank you for your support
Here kitty-kitty, oh here for the-- for the-- trap is sprung gaywad
Let's dance my bait got literally because I don't dance, but let's push you've got a funnel
Who'da torment I choose you
You got crudes take your medicine for thief
Take that for tea are you a hemophiliac?
It's might sting
Try not to slip on your own guts I'd hate for you to fall and hurt yourself kids nothing right now
That sucks for you
4/4 you scum you guys are kind of scrappy
Like teeth whatever I have had it with this shit save some for the king
I'm going through a lot of stuff right now and needing to fuck you with one of them
Got room for like a whole hamburger now
This is just a taste I'm going to be doing this to you for years. This is for scrambled you bastard
Don objective
I can't say no to kicking some porky ass have your boyfriend massage that for you
Take that lying down bug boy
My turn now
I'm gonna start taking this seriously now super Craig. I doubt it okay here we go
They get this, but what six graders can't die we're a mortal
But merger had children cocoon is about to get into some adult situations
Okay, who's the next target of my unbridled rage? They don't look UK watch, um here I go
No diet a new kid
Beware the kid
Thanks for standing there like a little bitch deer-in-the-headlights sucking diabetes into the fray I
Feel good about the way that meeting with
Hey there little menace to society don't you look snappy today
Buddy
And now you got a problem with me
I'm not just gonna sit here, and do nothing while you insult this man's ethnicity
I wasn't insulting him excuse me. Did you or did you not say that this man seemed tired yes. He's my friend
I said Paulo you look tired
microaggressions
Persons of Hispanic bed parents have been stereotyped as being sleepy and saying they look tired of microaggression that will not Stern
But I am tired
You you're the new kid right I'm the principal of your school my name is PC principal
I was told you wanted to talk to me about some race issues. Okay, come at me
Come on you want to learn about race right give me your best shot, it's a nice day isn't it?
What's wrong with you you can't just attack for no reason try again
It's a nice day isn't it?
What's wrong with you you can't just attack for no reason try again
It's a nice day isn't it?
Yes very good that was indeed not a microaggression all right round two I
Ate a hamburger last week
All right that was also not a microaggression this time
I will use a microaggression, and you will see how it gives you a free shot
All right, everybody listen up
I'm about to use up microaggression
But it's only for the use of training this young person in the ways of the social justice warrior
Thank you, Michael Christian about to happen
My friend Brian looks like a chick microaggression it is oh
Not bad not bad at all
Not only is the word chick derogatory to females but also
Criticizing a male for looking feminine as a micro aggression towards person transgender now, let's see if you can spot on micro aggression
That's more subtle my pants are warm
My pants are warm
That coffee belongs to Tim Sherman
What's wrong with you you can't just attack for no reason try again
That coffee belongs to Tim Sherman I heard it's going to rain
Janet likes to roller skate
Mr.. Yamashiro is actually a very good driver
microaggression hit him
Nice kid very nice indeed
Using the term actually inferred that maybe other Asian Americans are not good drivers and the use of Mister is offensive to persons a third
Gender now before we talk about your race. I need you to get out there and do some PC work for me
I'll let you know what I think you're ready
Remember kid people use microaggressions everyday, I'm counting on you to make them pay for doing so
Make sure you fart on all races and creeds equally vigilante have you seen my cat
You sure are the weirdest superhero. I've seen all day. Okay. I'll follow you
Thanks kid but that was a real cool picture
Hopster I suppose no one believes you around little superhero at least not too much
Crime Fighting's not a game vigilante. You're gonna get somebody killed dress for the job you want, bro
Lord you a brave little whatever you are
When there was only one set of footprints Jesus was carrying my bad ass
New items on menu berry special
Thank you I
Can't believe I agreed to this
Kid I need to devote my full attention to keeping this food down whoo busy making shitty chicken now you come back another time
Hot tip get the city tofu extra City
We've got a new super sheriff in town huh anything for a deputy in training
I'm really learning how to connect with you youngsters. I like to get the city shrimp an animal style
Your brother Kyle can help you get to high places like this roof here, just give him a call
Come on out kitties here kitty kitty I
Suppose no one bullies. You around little superhero at least not too much. Thanks for your service vigilante
It's not Halloween yet little boy, I don't have any not now kid I'm trying to pick up chicks
If you're looking for new stuff this is your lucky day you
Run along home or wherever you came from I don't take kindly to folks who take selfies, but let's take one anyway
Great see you later kid hey you're that super stinker in the headlines
Darn it kiddo. Why can't you just sit home and read the funny books like a normal fella
That's an interesting look you've got going on boy, and or girl. I don't see gender
I need to get somewhere listen fast
Get your head out of the clouds righteous
See you kid
Gober crack
Here kitty kitty come on kitty oh, it's a little foggy afraid it's over here
In the backyard
I'm big
Will you deal with him please look cousin Kyle if that mean kid who beat me up before
Yeah, Oh, No somebody stop him. Don't worry cousin. Kyle
I have developed these super sensors, which will make it almost impossible for him to beat us up this time
I have to stay out of this, please, please take a bowl away prepare to meet your doom evil bully kid
This barrier represents the red sea which you will be unable to part without Moses on your side
Oh, I'm up now. Do you want me to go again? I can wait no oh
Geez I didn't think I'd actually hit you it's go time, but lord
My turn
Oh, this is my favorite part
I'm supposed to attack now right okay?
That wasn't too hard right, I don't want to cause any print minigame each fuck, huh
Oh
Good some would call progressed to the face
Welcome to toontown
Okay, I'm gonna try something a little crazy
You got fruit punch someone for the Coon fart Lord
Okay, okay that does it
You guys asked for it?
And now human kite shall use his Hebrew faith to call upon the power of the wind
Let the strength of the wind make my kite, oh Jesus it came off
Outrageous, Mike. I just blew up into the tree cousin. Kyle, then give up. Don't worry super buddy cousin perhaps
I no longer have my kite, but I still have my super webbing
And these kids are picking on me
What's picking on you, who are you kids I'll call your mum's right now oh
I just know I'm gonna miss this man here we go
Who needs to get punched but fits on your face
Ready give a fuck will you make
Danny
Isn't it nice that when everyone gets to play together my Foley can carry Jesus
Okay like I need to move to kick your ass anyway
Nice I think the tools really dead, it's Craig time 98 super Craig time
You brought this on yourself que ya know
You know how to
Your turn is now property of tuning friends
Maybe the quick yet, yeah, I feel like we should see where this goes
We're going
That hurt my shoulder because my shoulder is density because I pulled a muscle catching a balloon
Oh, it's my turn already okay?
Cop it yummy kick does anyone have a lozenge
You know Kaito really quite fragile
By up
I think you sprained my notes
You got screwed
Oh
Goodness this is the last affliction I need therefore grant reporting for duty
Then cut the rope today
Okay
Guys Kyle get inside and call the police we have to get these kids arrested no no mom no police
This is all my fault what look
It's just I couldn't take my cousin copying everything I do
The human kite is about saving people not about Judaism and now look at all the damage you've caused
I should press charges against your friends and look my kites up in a tree
I'm sorry, please I'll do anything you weren't going to let your cousin play with you from now on is that clear
Oh boy, Kyle and Gina says I get to play with you
Yes, sometimes you can play with us you B now get your cousins kind out of that tree
You're not playing anymore until you do come on sugar. Let's get you some bactine
Oh, I hate that King because it gets on my fingers and I get eczema from the lidocaine
Well crap how we gonna get that kite down
Okay, that's a great idea
Oh
Nobody let's try it again
When you mean to retile out-of-the-way spot
Give me a call and we'll fire cor up there then I hope I never need to do that public though kind of embarrassing
Now this may sting a little bubby, oh is it supposed to burn aunt Sheila because it's stinging and it's burning oh
ouch
Look puppy they got your kite out of the tree
Yeah, I can fly again time to be the biggest superhero cousin Kyle and forgive our new neighbor
Why don't you two take a nice photograph together?
Okay, I forgive you new kid say human kite from an alternate universe oh
Wow okay, I'll take a picture if we can do it quick
Want some of this 4d
Need to get somewhere that you
See you nuke it
Yeah, kitty kitty come on kitty
Here kitty-kitty oh here for thief or thieves
New kid
That's going to leave some scars trying to take out the 40 trash microaggression
Have a really good feeling about this guess
You do something I was too busy not giving a fuck god damn. It super Craig show some respect to your colleagues. Why start now
You got screwed who determines I choose you
That sucks for you new kid, I can't say no to kicking some 40s you excuse me I have a balloon to piss in
Here I always thought guys were lame how can you change your bike's Craig lose as I change my mind?
I am out of unfinished feel so heavy
Keep it up kid we might be friends someday scrambles you bastard oh
Go tell everyone you cut yourself bad skating for 4th you scum you guys are kind of scrappy
I made that special for you
It's my turn now
Yeah
Took that like a champ for thee
Take your medicine for these
Okay, who's the next target of my unbridled rage?
Okay
Another folks before the might of tuna fish good news everybody inside dirt
Let me know you're totally gay congratulations
You're a pastor
Oh, he'll kid I like the way you punch this it's gonna sting
Thank suppose, maybe the trouble of flipping got hit head-on
Yeah, my offense is going so far up your ass. I'll be able to help you blossom
Prepare for fishes weddings
Gooper Craig for the rescue
This is coming together exactly how I planned this is the part where the bad guys were grabbed they're like choices
Ready
This is really high
It's just like I taught you well you climbed up here at least I can do with a selfie
Hey new kid grant you
Did you head out of the clouds awesome
See you new kid
Somebody call for a Fastpass
Get your head out of the clouds good going new kid
Dad you needed
Go on don't be shy
Ah you kid I see you've also come to assist in assuring classes cooperation
Please after you hello, we're picking up some medicine for a friend Oh
Is your friend looking for an energizing mental feeling or a more of a full body hi I
Don't know well. I'll send over our expert budtender who can help you out, okay?
You want to get hat oh hey Eric Oh Tali, it's not you into rehab
Yeah, dude
But now back in South Park
Clean and sober almost a year clean and sober no drugs at all can I tell you what I don't listen
And you work here in a pot store
Cannabis Eric, and yeah, it's great. Now. I get high helping people cure their insomnia back pain
Migraines and stress naturally, did you know that ancient Chinese gave cannabis to their infants for TV?
I have an addictive personality
So I'm cool without it and now I got a kid with my ladies so better to stay on the straight and narrow
You know you have a kid right that turns out. I had one the whole time. I was too hard to realize now
I'm holding down a job and paying the rent, but I'm also doing good helping people find the herbal remedies
they need to combat all the modern stressors of a job and taxi is a traffic and a wife breathing down my neck about the
Department Sally we got a leak. Why can't you fix it? I'm a bitch
fucking plumber
Okay, we're here to pick up our friends medicine her name is classy. Oh
Classy classy with a wire with the Clint hanging off red coming around and looking the shit out of the sea no no no
It's a classy with a dick hanging off the eye, that's fucking the L out of the SS
Oh that classy sure I got her order
She see she likes the banana
It's cool relax, no it is not nothing cool. I'm trying to run a legitimate business here and my back hurts
I can't sleep. I got your appetite the shitty town is so fucked up
We gotta buy all our product from fucking sixth graders, and who knows what this shit. They're putting in it nigga top it off
I got a couple little dick liquors coming in last door
fuck
It's time to give you here's the fucking consultation
Shit now you like my stock on fire sure smells nice though God air freshener spurt another path
Shakes
I'm more of a lover than a fighter
This is workplace harassment, you kids take your bad attitude somewhere else
I like my job because I'm constantly learning
It might sting
Our powers are useless against the tallow
Keep it up kid we might be friends someday gotta stuff isn't in the employee manual
That's why I can't take my five minute lunch breaks and peace like I do everything around here
Yeah, I'm sorry too, but it's cool to get this stuff out in the open
Hey take it out on the towel
I need to take five
You guys are such Adam Lord
Oh
Hey, hi dinner I hear cool, Batman I'm psyched to see
Yeah, this is for classy yeah, I throw in a couple hash nuggets and some granddaddy purple shatter on the house come by any time
Well done new kid now get that over to classy
I'm the fastest kid in town
Are we doing this what
Catch you later
You want some of this 40 yeah, that's what I thought keep walking pussy
See here's the new kid now you got classes prescription damn well better hand my prescription well, it's about motherfucking time
Praise Jesus. I need this shit, babe. If I don't get my medication. I lose my motherfucking mind. You know what I'm saying
Much fucking better
All right listen the place y'all niggas need to go is you story. That's where they taking the cast you know what I'm saying
That's it Coon. This is fit fit the new kid got the entail from classy not bad. New kid. What'd you find out?
It's the you store in the Northeast attempt classy says the cats are being taken day. Do you store it?
We should have known all right keep classy safe. I'll get back to you guys soon Roger that Fast Pass
best pass
Let's head out
My little hero
I gotta get a selfie with my little hero
Thanks baby mm-hmm class II feel like a new woman sure thing buddy
That's gonna kill on social media
I just have to get a picture with my son's famous friend
Thanks, honey see you on Koontz - Graham. Let's do it. Thanks for helping Jimmy out
Good job your parents must be so proud
Hey kid you're that farting vigilante from the news right
Not a talker huh well sergeant wants to have a few words with you over at the station
Oh
Hey, new kid. Yeah, so it turns out gender is actually a little more
Complicated than what we talked about yesterday. Okay? Could you come back to my office so we could sort this out, maybe, huh?
You want some of this for thee see you later for the-- I'll be waiting for you
Somebody called for a fast past
Good going new kid
Catch you later
Somebody call for a
Chair why not
You better not be screwing around
Looks like your foot can do some crazy shit, maybe you can use your first two paws
I got boob pics for trespassers will be violated
Oh
Great thanks for coming have a seat
Now I got some some feedback from the principal that our discussion about sex
I mean about gender wasn't a precise enough, and um well you can you gave me some guidelines how to do a more
Thorough pass helping you identify your gender
Is the gender that you were assigned with at Birth the gender that you currently identify with?
Okay great, so as you know that means that your
Cisgendered okay great now the next thing I want to talk to you about with your gender is your sexuality
Now a lot of people think that gender and sexual are the same but know that but that's wrong. It's by
Now how would you describe the sex of the kinds of people you find yourself sexually attracted to?
Okay, so that makes you straight or heterosexual?
Okay
Just be careful. Okay, cuz there's there's a lot of people out there who don't accept you for what you are
And then you're gonna have to deal with them, okay, so but come see me anytime
Oh
My god I have so much homework tonight
And they're heterosexual too, we don't take kindly to your types around here, let's welcome this thing to our town
We don't take kindly to your types around here
I have a really good feeling about these guys
I wonder if they can make your action figure do that but some kind of spring-loaded thing maybe Oh?
Whoopee like your daddy never done
Oh no my glazy. Oh boy super heroines are so fun
You fuck with the Coon you answer to its friends right guys yeah, yeah, we'll get around just heal the pipe cleared for takeoff
I lasers. I like it. I'm not sorry for what I'm about to do
Kind of patient-powered useless
America love it or get your ass kicked socialist that settles it beating you kids up was definitely the right decision
Try not to slip on your own guts I'd hate for you to fall and hurt yourself
That's going to leave some scars
Get excited I get Vince punch the roof walk it off, but Lord
We're gonna need a new new kid okay, well this has been cool you guys, but we should probably wrap this up soon
Thanks, I'll save you the trouble of flipping that shit hat off. Yeah, go ahead. I'm too pissed off to take a turn
All right my turn
I am out of fuckin ticket
for the matter of Coon and friends
Now you've done it a wounded Coon is the most dangerous of kids?
You do something I was too busy not giving a fuck god damn. It super Craig show some respect to your colleagues
Why start now oh?
You're still fucking dead
It's my fucking car yeah I
Get this one
Not bad super quick, but try not to slouch next and only if you try not to be a dick weed next time
It's a deal
Yeah, I saw that coming
Be a shame if you rip your sweet costume super Craig nerd
Can you get wretched
Righteous
Catch you later
Do not despair child God is simply testing you alright another selfie. I guess Jesus would do it
Remember when Morgan Freeman with God oh yeah, I said that never when Christians cared about the sick and the poor
Who are you supposed to be tidy Liberace sorry go on through
Sorry I don't selfie with just anyone
Sir so then the whop says to the Polack if I wanted tints I'd have beat up the nip and the black guy's hat oh
Oh, what do we have here? You're the one who made the news last night, huh?
Well the police can always use the help of concerned citizens
I guess we can give our little junior detective a special kitty case to work own
All right listen up for somebody new to town shaking up the crime families. This is a real bad
Dude a kingpin of crime it wants to control all the drugs in the city. We tracked him to this location here
I need you to go in and neutralize him you lead point my boys will be there after
If you take out the drug kingpin we'll give you this junior Detective badge really neat huh now get out there
This week's been hell on my TV Fisher Mike
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