Hi guys
so in this video I'll be talking about what it means to be sensitive
and how so many people have it wrong about being sensitive and often think negatively of it
when sensitivity is very essential to our mental well-being and happiness.
So let's start right away.
Charlie Chaplin, a comedic icon who now of course has passed away
once said, "We think too much and feel too little."
And I agree.
In our society, we are taught either directly or indirectly from so many people and medium
that emotion, what we feel, is something that we should feel ashamed of and
try to hide and not show.
If you do show it, you will often be
discouraged to continue from people who tell you things like "You are being too sensitive. You're being dramatic.
It's no big deal. You should chill," and try to force you into a fake chill
and that unconsciously conditions us to believe that our feeling is of no importance and
it's better off being put aside or
going unacknowledged.
So as a result, we refuse to feel, but nonetheless the feeling is there already
whether you want to admit it or not, and therefore
inevitably what happens is,
you unconsciously form thoughts about your feelings. "This is stupid. I'm being sensitive. I'm overreacting.
it's weird to feel like this."
And that adds more feelings more thoughts and more feelings and more thoughts
continuously and
becomes a vicious cycle.
But we don't have to complicate our feelings.
We have to know that it's okay to feel in the first place. We're all humans, and it's completely normal.
You see, the healthiest way to deal with any sort of emotions especially the negative ones is to just feel it.
Letting the feeling be instead of resisting it or thinking about it, because that only amplifies it.
I think the best way to let your feeling be is to express and show it.
In other words, being honest about how you feel whether people understand you or not.
And one of the biggest reason why people are scared to
share their deepest and genuine feelings is fear of other people's judgment.
"What if they invalidate my feelings?
What if they don't like me anymore? What if they think I'm too emotional, weird or sensitive?
I want to look cool and chill."
We all know it's easy to judge other people circumstances, feelings or whatever it is that's not our own.
It's easy to just see what's going on on the surface level and think what he or she is doing is wrong,
the better way is this, she should do it this way not that way,
but the truth is, at the same time, those judges haven't even figured out about themselves either.
Nobody has.
Even the richest man in the world Bill Gates is still coping with the common task we're all given:
LIFE.
Even with all the wealth he has and
accomplishment he has achieved so far,
he is still trying to figure out how to do better charity, how to better distribute as well and
many more things that I have no idea about unless I'm Bill Gates.
I don't know how many of you know about the suicide of a very famous k-pop star
Jonghyun that happened about a month ago that shocked the world.
And I don't know how many of you read his will (note before death) that he wrote before he killed himself
But I definitely think that, although it's tragic and I wish it didn't happen,
his death and his well pose a lot of meaningful questions for us to
deeply ponder upon to understand better about life and ourselves.
Before we judge him for killing himself,which I noticed from so many comments online and from
Eavesdropping people's gossip about it, we can instead think about
with all that he had, a very handsome look, talent, a lot of money obviously,
fame and popularity,
all of which definitely fit into society standard of success, what made him suffer so much?
Was it the fame or wealth that directly affected his mental suffering?
Does that mean fame or wealth equals suffering?
Buddha said life is dukkha, and that knowing this is the beginning of enlightenment.
Dukkha translated into English is suffering. If you are human your fate is inevitably to suffer.
We suffer when our loved one dies, we suffer when something totally unexpected befalls us,
we suffer when other people betray or say horrible things to us, we suffer when we have physical disease.
There are so many causes of human suffering,
but the simplest and the most exact answer to "Why does one suffer?" would be
"It's because we're human."
I talk about Enlightenment and inner peace in my videos a lot
and I noticed that some people don't get my message correctly and misunderstand that
to obtain peace,
you need to fake peace and fake chill, but you will never enter peace trying to fake it.
As Buddha said,
you have to accept that you are suffering, accept that the circumstances or problems you're facing right now
are making you suffer and giving you some sort of inconvenience.
That's the primary step you need to take: acknowledging,
because only then you can move to the next appropriate step:
figuring out what you can do to solve the problem you're facing,
to get out from the current suffering however big or small.
It's spiritual practice, but it's also scientific.
It's like when you are going to see a doctor,
you first have to come to terms with the fact that you feel
physical pain, where it hurts, how it hurts for the doctor to diagnose properly and give you proper medication.
But when you disregard the pain and choose to put it aside,
that won't stop the pain; that will only make it grow more and more and worsen the symptoms eventually.
Same with your emotions and mental suffering of any sort.
We have to know that
mental suffering is not a disease or an abnormality.
It's what we all go through.
But choosing to disregard and not pay attention to your suffering or emotions, now that becomes a disease.
Jonghyun was at least honest about the fact that he was suffering;
although the solution that he chose, which was going to see that particular psychiatrist,
turned out to have worsened his suffering, because the psychiatrist didn't have any empathy or compassion
for Jonghyun's depression, and only blamed his personality,
that him having depression is because there's something wrong with him.
That psychiatrist has been criticized by the masses, and I think he deserves it,
but aren't we a little too quick to judge him ?
Because, I don't think many of us either would have understood
Jonghyun's sypmtom if he came to talk to us for help.
Then do I understand him? You may ask, And I would say,
fame and money could have triggered suffering in Jonghyun
just like poverty or indifference can trigger suffering as well.
But what exactly was his problem is of less significance
compared to the fact that whatever the problem was that made him suffer, tt was REAL for him.
One of the problems about fame or money or exceptional beauty is that
because they are part of minority, because let's face it the majority of us are not
famous, are not super wealthy are not super beautiful,
so there are less people
who can understand that their unique problems.
But nonetheless,
they are problems, although very underappreciated by the majority of people,
they are very real at least to the sufferer.
They say "A person to think means what to that person then the feminine China which kills the million."
It's not necessarily because we are selfish, but because we all have our own cross to bear,
and whatever that cross takes form on the outside, if it gives suffering to us, then it is a real problem.
It is as real as
having the potential to make someone commit suicide.
I'm not saying we should always expect other people to care about our problems
as much as we should our own.
It's our own problem, that after all WE need to proactively deal with,
and other people have their own things deal with.
I think after we come to terms with our own pain,
we also have to come to terms with the reality that
nobody can understand me as well as I do myself.
Not even your parents, not even your spouse, not even your best friends.
No matter how much they love you. It's very natural.
However, what we can do is to realize and understand
that we all have the same faith as human
and we all suffer, we all go through hard time at some point in our life,
that very basic understanding about life,
so that we could first feel secure about ourselves
and then extend our compassion and understanding and empathy to others.
Our society lacks compassion and empathy, because we care so much about
how we appear on the outside, and care so little about what's going on inside.
So the first step of developing empathy or compassion,
or to put it more accurately,
of going back to our most innate human nature is to be sensitive to our own feelings first.
If you're insensitive to your own emotions and pain, how can you understand that of others?
With compassion, we may not be able to give practical solutions to our loved ones or people who seek for help.
But at least we can listen and understand without judgment.
You can understand,
he or she might feel terrible in such circumstances.
If I were in his shoes, I would have felt the same too.
And that's not small.
That's actually, big because one of what encourage and soothe people the most is
the feeling that I am being understood, even if enough just a little bit.
So to put everything in a nutshell:
Only by being sensitive to your own feelings and having no shame about it
can you truly understand that your circumstances, and what you need to do,
and also feel true compassion for the suffering and pain of others.
Once you can do that, you will realize how so many people are
ashamed and try to deny their own pain when it's obvious that they are in pain.
And that's the consequence of our "fake chill culture" that I hope we all come out from.
There's a quote about writing by Marcel Proust
and this is exactly what I want to do through my contents.
I want to be sensitive not only for my own well-being
but also to help others find themselves and cope with their issues independently and effectively,
not based on false hope and expectation and disregard the most important matters in life.
But Vicky you're not a writer, I hear you say.
And I know what you mean. I haven't written any books.
I'm not well known for my writing, but I would love to call myself a writer
and I think anybody else can be a writer in that regard because
we all have feelings, we all have thoughts that come from the most sacred place in our heart.
But it takes courage, a lot of courage and strength to embrace it, give form to it, and put it out there,
you know, to do the actual work of writing.
I think writing is a talent, and although everybody has it,
if you're not brave enough to fully use it, you will only squander it.
So I invite all of you to be a writer
or an artist that
expresses honesty, your true thoughts and feelings.
If you think you don't have anything to offer to the world or to people,
you can give them your honesty.
Whether people judge you or not is actually not so significant
because that will ultimately bring you peace.
Honesty is the simplest thing to do
and it's what most people find so difficult to do.
So let's be simple, let's be honest and let's be sensitive, for our own good.
So guys I made it to China, and it's been two weeks.
And in my next video
I will share my impression on China so far.
I've been posting some pictures and videos I took in China on my Instagram so
Please follow me on Instagram and I will see you on my next video (very soon).
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