Guest: - The challenge I've had with using Law of Attraction in therapy
It's been really fun with individuals
But with couples
When I say: "it's not your partner's fault."
"It's not your partner's deal why you feel so upset."
And try to go that rout
People don't like to hear that!
And I've been reaching for better words
And ways to make interventions with couples
But...
Abraham: - Well, we started there here today, didn't we?
Guest: - Right.
Abraham: - We are offering what we know to be
And we understand that when someone is outside the vortex
Looking right at the factual evidence of what has happened in their life
They often don't want to hear what sounds like mumbo-jumbo to them
Guest: - Right!
Abraham: - They want you to explain that
So, somehow you have to convince them that you are explaining that
And here's the way we approach that
We say to people
In the beginning, when we talk about the Law of Attraction
And about harness your own vibration
So that you are cooperating with Law of Attraction
When you decide to be deliberate
A deliberate creator of your experience
Many people at first really liked the idea that
"Oh I will have control of my experience."
But what they often have misunderstood, they think:
"Oh, I will have control of the way other people are behaving in my experience."
Guest: - Right!
Abraham: - Because it's the other people that have been giving me so much grief
It's really what most people feel
They've been reacting to life
And they fervently desire to find some way of controlling that behavior
So that when they observe it they can feel better
So you have to make them understand that in this law of attraction based universe
There's no such thing as no
You cannot look at what is not wanted and shout no at it
Without holding your in vibrational alignment with the thing that you do not want
So just state the law as you know it to be
When you say yes to something you get more of it
When you say no to something you get more of it
So, start saying yes to more of the things that your partner offers that you want
And then shut up about the things that your partner is offering that you don't want
Until you train yourself not to have those unwanted things in your vibration
Now, people don't want to hear that
They don't want to hear you say
"You're getting it because you're asking for it!"
Because they don't think they're asking for it
They're getting it and they don't even want it
Why would they ask for something that they don't even want?
so you have to help them to understand that the law of attraction is
not discriminating against them it is always giving them what's active in
their vibration and then even though they're sitting there shaking their head
up you say do me a favor and play a game this week before I see you again and
here's the game get a notebook and sit down not together and write a list of
positive aspects about your mate and don't make it up don't stretch don't say
she's the perfect body weight when you think she's overweight don't say that
don't say she's a great cook when you can't eat anything she makes don't don't
say that don't make it up don't challenge yourself with it just write
the things and something that really works well is to remember how you felt
when you met right about those first days that first encounter how that first
loving felt right about that and then say to them just write about it just
just write about it don't make it up and don't lie to yourself about it but just
try to emphasize the aspects of your partner that you really appreciate and
don't talk to each other about it just do it privately and we'll talk next time
we are together and it is I promise to you that if they are willing to do it if
they're not willing to do it then they're wrong for you anyway right
because that's a really small request that you're making so that means they
don't trust you it means that they don't have a strong enough desire they're not
the right people for you to be working with but if they will do the work when
they come back their relationship we'll have changed in one week's time
they will have had fewer negative encounters and many more positive
encounters because they will have awakened in themselves each of them the
thing about the other that they most appreciate but more important than the
evoking from each other better behavior which will happen to they will be using
each other as their excuse to be in the vortex and when you use someone as your
excuse we're just going to give these words to you and you can sort it out
through the counseling that you're doing later when you use someone as your
excuse to be in the vortex you love them you love them because you can't be in
the vortex unless you are focused in that way so when you use someone
deliberately use someone to be your excuse to be in the vortex source fills
you and then that's what being in love is anyway that's why people want to drag
them home and keep them those people that make them feel that way in other
words if people really knew about the vortex looking for a partner wouldn't be
the big quest it is for so many people there would be more programs about
getting into the vortex and far fewer about finding a mate seriously because
there isn't anything that anyone wants for any other reason than they believe
they will feel better in the having of it you say so there is a magic in that
there is a magic in that list of positive aspects that will give them the
opportunity to shift their vibration and then change their point of Attraction
yes but change the way they feel more important so next time you see them
they're gonna feel better about wife they're gonna feel better about all
things and then you can say to them now your assignment for next week you did
really good this week because you did the hardest thing you took the subject
that was your subject of contention a little bit and you overcame it with your
power of focus that's deliberate creation tell them now this week's
assignment will be much easier make your list of positive aspects about anything
but just keep writing about the things that are working the positive aspects
that you see in this world and what you'll notice is that right before your
eyes with that one process these people will
align themselves to who they really are and to people aligned to who they really
are having a relation is one whoppin relationship so when she says he
promised to pick up the kids the last three weeks in a row but he got drunk
and forgot and I had to leave work and go pick up the kids and I say make a
list of things that you really like well you see they don't have a chance
finding improvement from you because you don't believe in them you need to make a
list
because the exact same thing they've trained each other into xpecting rotten
results because they're just watching the evidence of the rotten results and
you're just doing the same thing right that's what it feels like so when you
make your list and you believe that they can change and you're and then you'll
get all on fire with who you are and you'll explain to her that the reason he
gets drunk is because he's trying to get in the vortex and it's the only way he
knows how to get in but that's too much information for them right now but you
have to know it you have to know that he drinks because it's the only way that he
can ease the pain of not being in the vortex so now your quest when you see
someone like that as a teacher and a healer and uplifter the other side of
that bounce is you want more than life itself to call this guy into the vortex
so you don't care what her terrible attitude about him is you your desires
to get him into the vortex and your desires to see her seeing him in the
vortex and until you do that you are of no value to them and that's all in the
privacy of my own process right in my own well mine certainly but it would not
be such a terrible thing if you were to say to them you know I really like you
too and I've been really thinking a lot about you and I have a lot of techniques
that are really effective that really work with people but when I thought
about teaching them to you I also thought you're probably not gonna have
any of it in fact I said to myself I'm gonna say this and she's gonna say this
and then I realized I couldn't teach you because I let you convince me that you
were broken and as long as I let you because you think you're broken and
you're displaying it so perfectly that you convinced me that you were broken
and so then I started getting all balled up because I didn't know what to do with
you and then I remembered hey they're not broken they have powerful desires
that this perfect relationship has helped them carve out they deserve to
feel good and they deserve to be in love and they were in love at one time and
they want to be again and the reason that they're here is because they still
want to be in love and they want to feel good and I know that I have knowledge
that will help you I decided I was not gonna let you train
me into your negative expectation I'm gonna train you into my positive
expectation and I thought about you I didn't let myself see you as you are
I remembered instead who you really are and as I remembered who you really are I
know that you two are in love and I know that you two are good together I know
that the basis of this relationship is a strong and stable one and I have so
brought those images to my mind that I am determined that I will stand here as
the complete conveyor of my absolute knowledge that you are great together
and what I need you to do so that you'll know it like I know it and then say oh
it's easier for me because I don't live with you two annoying people so it's
easy for me but it's not as hard as you think it is and here's what you got to
do step one make a list of positive aspects about each other and don't give
me any grief about it I know you can do it she's hot
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