Well, kid? Well?
Did you see a naked man?
Don't be afraid, kiddo, everything'll be okay…
Ugh…I just love the smell of old-lady socks…
Yeah? How's it going?
Button…Li'l Button…You're the one that ate the thread?
I bet you've got some stuff goin' on in your tummy…
Looks like I've just found an agent.
Here, look at these different pics.
Hello, Mumbai
Hello
And where's Bollywood?
Hello. So we're gonna go through this little village, a humble little village near Bollywood – Film City – we'll go around it so we don't have to pay 3000 rupee
Eff…3000! Shit! 3000… What the hell?
An actor's work in Moscow is no different from the work of an actor in Bollywood.
Pretty frickin' awesome. I just gave my pics to a producer from Emmay Entertainment.
Yeah and I think we've got a great future ahead of us in this company. Success awaits us!
Success awaits us, and now we're on our way to the next film studio.
Let's continue handing out pictures. Let's. We still have a lot of them.
We thought that we were going to a film studio, but it turns out that it's the Indian version of New York Film Academy.
Indian NY Film. Indian NY Film.
So we've got this fucking Indian New York Film Academy, and they didn't even let us in, just like NY Film doesn't let anybody in…same motherfuckers sitting at the reception!
So what exactly is Bollywood? It's one big road that connects different film studios and these pavilions
all on this giant cul de sac, and so we're traveling along this road in hopes of finding,
like, this person that we need…that'll help us realize our potential!
So we just found our guy, well actually he found us, and he says that he knows where this big gathering of all the casting directors is, where we can find them all!
Casting? Casting? What are the lines? C'mon, let's learn 'em! Hey, so'd it go well?
Hello! Who's speaking? Mama?
Each word, even a joke, vomited from his scorching mouth
leaps like a naked prostitute from a burning brothel.
Leap out! They crashed. You can't leap out of the heart!
Thank you.
You saw how I stuck it to them! We will conquer…
Slum
He ran away! He ran away…
Welcome, he's congratulating us! It's a real artistic moment you could say, Indian and Russian people
Where – where's Roma?
You guys have a lesson?
This is what a sleep bus looks like, the ones that go from Mumbai to Goa.
And I'm taking 50 cartons of Marlboro with me to sell there
get rich, and come back to Mumbai!
Well, Olezhenka?
So finally we've gotten to the most interesting part
of our film – the sea.
So…let's go? Let's go!
Hahaha, now we'll start a business.
Watch, so you get it.
Smoking damages your health.
Ahh fuck man beautiful god I love them!
You know what? Not bad! Yeah yeah…
I mean slow and steady, you've got a place to put your feet. That's how you keep your foot in place.
On the money we made, we rented a bike and went
around the country in search of film shoots, agents didn't run at us right away with offers
and our money ran out quickly.
Because of this we tried out different professions for ourselves.
Our first stop was a fishing village, and I was a little late,
but they weren't too upset.
I warmed up, got into place and went at it!
Don't slack off over there!
We're docking the ship!
So you got anything left in you? I feel ya…ladies!
It's fun together to march through the wilderness, the wildernes, the wilderness!
It's fun together to march through the wilderness, it's fun to march through the wilderness!
And it's better to sing a little song together, better together, better together.
And…it's not scary or worrisome for me or my friends, give us any righteous path.
La la la la la la la
That's it. We worked hard, so let's go eat.
Phew. Look, Oleg. Huh?
Hang on a sec.
Fuckin' amazing!
Dude, you know what we need to do? What? We need to grab our camera and take a selife! Yeah, let's do it!
We still haven't had any film shoots, but we didn't get upset about this
we just up and got on a bike and drove all over, setting records with our speed
Romchik almost fell off, but it all worked out. When we ran out of gas for the bike
we just walked until we could find ourselves a new job. Of course it was all illegal
Sheepy, Sheepy, back to the herd. Back to the herd! Go home, Sheepy, go home! Where'd you go? Let's go home, Sheepy! Go home, Sheepy, go home! Go home, Sheepy, go home.
Let's go home. Let's go home. Do you need an invitation to go home? C'mon, go home! Go home! Go home! Go home! Go home!
Let's go home. Grandpa is waiting for us already. Home. Home. Home. Home. Рome. I said go home! Let's go home. Fuck you still here for?
Hello
What do we have here?
Who want's to eat? Who want's to eat?
Settle down, no fighting!
Settle down, no fighting!
One at a time. One at a time. One at a time. One at a time.
Kids...
Share with your brother! Share with your brother! Share with your brother! Share with your brother!
Why?
Sorry, I don't have any more. No more!
What's with you, you upset a little boy!
Well, share, share. Hey what's with you
share with the little one. Give the little one something to eat, give your brother some
Sit down, I'll drive around, sit down. Sit down, I'll drive around, sit down.
He's trying to understand what the part is.
Roma, tell us, do you believe these people?
Crap, I'm scared, actually. They just looked on Google how to put in brakes
and we've been sitting here since 4 o'clock. There. I'm dreaming of getting to the calm and relax of Goa already.
Well Google should know how to replace brakes on a Royal Enfield. Maybe we ask a Google-guy?
Google-guy, do you know how to repair brakes?
The motorcycle repairs took longer than expected. And staying for a long time
wasn't in our rulebook, so we decided to go the rest of the way by foot.
At the beginning we were powered by enthusiasm, but then we understood that the decision wasn't in our best interests
Our water and money both ran out, and we didn't even know where we were, or where we were going
We were nervous and tense. Basically, at some point, things stopped working out for us
Bitch, bitch, bitch, bitch, bitch.
And so when we thought there was no way out of our situation, we had a chance. An agent called us.
Well, guys, we arrived to this hotel for our meeting with an agent, let's go
He's waiting for us somewhere in the hall.
The fuck they taking so long with these belts?
This is how our work as performers started out.
He says that you don't need run your mouth. Yeah? Fuck that. Let's film it.
We've arrived at the location to pick up the whiskey and go around and give it to different stores.
Anush wrote something. What? Hang on a sec.
Film shoot in Rojestan, 5 thousand, I got it. No way. Dude, they cast me in a film.
They cast me in a film! They cast me, oh, fuck, they cast me, they cast me in a movie. In India, dude!
But my visa expired and I ended up having to come back to Russia.
Bitch (11x)
So we've got one idea.
So here's my driver's license. You need to tell everyone on the film set
that you lost your passport, and pretend to be me, got it?
As if you're Oleg Blinov. You, Roma Katyshkin, are no longer Roma Katyshkin. Now you're Oleg Blinov.
Do you understand? All of it? Roma, most importantly, don't give up
stay strong, show everybody your tough side. Good job, good job.
So what, I need to go, Blinov? Yeah, here you go.
I just got to Bikaner, and now I'm going to pretend to be Blinov.
Yeah, it's great being Oleg Blinov.
I even had my first fans come up.
The main difference between Indian cinematography as well as the rest of India
is that what can be done by 1 person is done by 5 people, and they do it so they actually need 6
These guys are putting together a frost frame. We're supposed to start at 7. We're waiting for a long time like in Russia. People are going around, talking, laughing.
They've just put me in the role of a musician, now I'm gonna go to get my costume and makeup done.
Гример из Болливуда: Этот фильм рассказывает о событиях 1920-1947 года
Oh, yeah. I still can't believe it, but the shoot is over. Fuck, bitch, shit, motherfucker
Even the Afghans are cursing. I mean 12 hours of hell, it was amazing, thank you to everyone that was with me during this.
You'll find it interesting how it could have happened that nobody even noticed the difference
between Oleg and me on set, just by looking at us. I mean we're not all that similar
although a little similar I guess, but in the end everybody noticed the difference and there was a huge scandal, and then
one of the directors said that they could film me from behind
The lines that Oleg was supposed to read were given to some other guy…well in short that's how it all happened
Recently I got back from my extensive traveling in India, and you know, while I was there I realized something
If you have a dream, always keep moving towards it. Never stop
You could compare this to riding on a motorcycle – if you don't turn your head in time, you're fucked
It's the same thing with your dreams. Unfortunately, filming in Bollywood didn't exactly work out for me, given the circumstances
but that's not gonna stop me, because I'm planning on going to Hollywood


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