you must create an empowering
alternative you must create an
empowering alternative in other words an
alternative pattern you can't just stop
smoking you got to start doing something
else and what most people do is they
stop smoking you start eating so that's
why you got to find an empowering
alternative
so create Nathanial trophy I can't just
say stop yelling at people because his
yelling at people gives him a sense of
certainty that they'll listen to him and
that they'll change how many thought
that so if we just say don't do that
that we've not meant the need that it
used to get we want to meet the need
more elegantly if you're smoking is
probably cause you're stressed when you
smoke you take deep diaphragmatic breath
so you get out of stress but most people
are stressed they stop breathing or they
breathe very shallowly when you have
very low oxygen that adds a smidge to
your stress so cigarettes now while
there's a physical addiction what made
it happen initially was it relaxed you
so you don't want to just stop smoking
and be stressed you know something else
in relax you so what a lot of people do
is they eat tons of food the stomach
fills up and all the blood rushes in
there and they start breathing their
diaphragm again but there are better
alternatives that make sense so you got
to come up with an empowering
alternative and once you do it and
reinforce it reinforce it how do you
reinforce something you notice it you
give it pleasure you acknowledge it you
reward it so you might want to use the
word reward it and reinforce it or
reward it until it becomes habit until
it becomes habit so you got to create an
empowering alternative and you got to
reinforce it until it becomes habit once
it's a habit you're set but how do you
do this well the secret to reinforcing
something is give it pleasure give it
rewards so you'll start changing to
avoid pain but after a while you just go
back to it even though it's painful all
adjust to it but see what what will last
will creates lasting changes when you do
so
and you're rewarded for it when you give
yourself rewards you feel happy you feel
proud of yourself you feel sense of
excitement or freedom or more love you
get that reinforcement on regular basis
pretty soon it just becomes who you are
that's what we want to do and so that's
what I did with him so a year later
sorry I haven't come for these
alternatives out of communicating
throughout the night when he started
communicate with somebody did something
right I caught him doing it right and
I'd say no Jean I want to say something
you do you see Bob's face over here the
way you just interact with him so you
can try and force him to do something or
make him fear you and he'll do a little
bit but people we do so much out of fear
they do the minimum out of fear but when
they love you and they care about even
they feel respected by you they'll do
anything for you this guy really were
doing it look at this face right now
doesn't that feel better
and I stopped make him stop and notice
so he wasn't unconscious they'd see and
honestly it really does he said mama I
really do care about you and these great
anchors happened that night where I kept
reinforcing and reinforcing and
reinforcing it so he had plenty of
alternatives and he saw it gave him more
of what he wanted than the old behavior
so now I come back a year and a half
maybe later and I do the seminar things
go great and the same guy afterward says
mr. Robbins would you like to come to
dinner and I look at him and he doesn't
he like I can't tell if he's you know
got something or not so I said sure
same restaurant same room same
everything sit down you table I'm gonna
sit next to John Johnston great to have
you back everything's warm it was
wonderful he seems really happy it was
great I'm thinking wow this is cool it
all worked right and then maybe 15
minutes into sitting there all of a
sudden John comes across and starts
screaming at this person against the
table and I can just feel every part of
my body going obviously didn't break the
pattern strong enough I'm gonna do it
this time and I just feel my face my
tight enough and also he turns over he
goes gotcha
and everybody hopefully star laughing it
was a setup and they all went around the
table and they acknowledge me and they
call John and talk about he's never been
the same since his life is never the
same he's such an incredibly warm and
loving man now for that process yeah
just from that piece now whether you're
trying to change someone from being mean
to nice or what are you trying to get
rid of addiction it's the same stuff so
for example when I first built my career
I get on radio and television in Canada
and I launched my career saying I don't
care what your problem is all Hamlet's I
got all kinds of things but one of my
first therapies ever was a smoking
therapy now bear in mind I'm staying at
the Westin Hotel in place called
Vancouver British Columbia Canada
anybody been there it's magnificent I've
been there as pretty as any city in the
world I think and so I'm there and I'm
staying in this hotel and it's beautiful
it's wonderful I'm waiting in my room
for my first real major therapy and it's
a smoking therapy and I look at my watch
the guy doesn't show up and I look as a
show up look gonna show up so then I
think well you know no one knew my face
in those days or even knew my name
so maybe he forgot my name and he's at
the hotel something I'll go downstairs
to see if he's in the lobby so as I
glanced to exit my door of my room
right outside the doors disguise to do
puffing like crazy so I said are you Bob
he said yeah I said Bob what he doing
out here just having my last cigarette
now what does that tell me
that tells me healings pain to stopping
smoking not pain to smoking as long as
he thinks stopping smoking is gonna be
painful it's not gonna work we have to
change that what we call neuro
Association it's a big word it means
what he associates in his nervous system
in his gut right not when he has in his
head in his head he knows better but in
his gut his neuro associations are
rigged that stopping smoking is painful
that's why he's never done it before so
he wants me to do this painful thing to
him that won't work
so I think at a moment's notice I come
up with idea and I said come with me and
we don't go my room we start walking to
the hose where we going instead
downstairs he I wanted to some private
eye so we will follow me we got on the
elevator downstairs and I've been there
about two or three years but even two or
three years ago in this day and age were
very few
people seem to smoke in public at the
Western Hotel they still have a tobacco
shop there and so we go down in this
tobacco shop and as you go in the smells
are everywhere so when people smell
smell the smells they go into state
rights this guy's his state right he's
got a cigarettes back
he's one happy camper so I said what
Brandis mother she tells me I said great
give me 12 cartons the guy likes me goes
12 cartons the city had 12 cards ok Go's
looks at me 12 gardens see ya pay the
man pay the man she pays him so now I
said pick him up so he's got six cartons
here six cartons here but walking down
the hall I'll never forget his face we
get on the elevator the door closes he's
holding all these cartons cigarettes he
looks at me and says you're not gonna
make me smoke these are you
I said now we're making progress now
he's linking pain to smoking already how
many follow this they I so we go sit in
the room and a lot of times when you're
trying to change helping someone make a
change the problem is you're changing a
part of them just need to change like a
part of that that's really great you
need to get them in there smoking state
and change that part of them so I said
go and open all the cartons pull it all
the cigarettes and under half every one
and put one cigarette so it's accessible
so you could just grab it release late
and while you're doing that tell me why
you started smoking so he goes okay so
it's under the carton says he does he
kind of gets in space smells the
cigarettes starts I'm doing and he goes
to the state right he starts telling me
well when I start out I really didn't
want to smoke but all my friends did and
it was like the cool thing to do he's
going in a state right and so I said
okay well light went up he looked
appealing what do mean like what if I
came here to stop I said no but you
really want one so
I went up he went well no I I don't want
what I want to stop I said light without
room right now I starting crazy no you
understand me now he's struggling he's
freaked out now imagine these and the
feelings tuna casserole mixing with
smoking you get the idea
what don't you like what don't you like
I don't want to smoke she said that I
like transform act insane he's freaking
equities walked in a room doesn't say
anything right so she says I don't want
to do this I'd say you don't want to
smoke I'd act really calm again ego no I
[Music]
said well then do whatever you want to
do because one will put it out he goes
what I said light up two more freaking
out of his mind
let me scream as that calls up vehicle
[Music]
finally eventually go a girl like who's
oh you're like what I want to smoke
what's that oh oh well then do whatever
you want to do
[Music]
it's like what I want to put them out I
said go ahead really sure puts them out
you just see he's afraid right but some
I said light up six more it's like no I
line up six more now and I go ten times
Creasy come on fucking every one of them
suck on him
how does that feel finally at the pond I
said light up five more I had a whole
ashtray filled with half smoked service
for theirs knows he's breathing smokers
face hate their right that won't that be
is right I said word up another he said
no I think you might know him right now
no you can't make me smoke
[Applause]
now we broke the pattern so there when
he getting alternative so he went
outside he dumped his cigarettes on the
side down into the ocean I wouldn't do
that now but he did it and he blew his
nose all his black suit came out right
just all over the place in his
handkerchief right components nose
blowing his nose you know and I did too
guys I was in the room taking it all in
also it's a terrible way to doing stuff
I was wrong reasons I stopped doing
eventually came up with a different
technique
cuz I was gonna have cancer doing all
these therapies on these people right
and so he goes up there nice meeting
fresh air and the fresh air feels so
good then he comes up with the alternate
and conditioning it works now you got to
vary your technique for various things
because once I found something work you
know you tend to do a lot Oh because it
works but how to create momentum is
really a science it's not difficult but
it is a science it's a step-by-step
process and when you understand how to
do it you can create momentum anytime
you want momentum in your business
momentum and your emotions momentum in
your career momentum in your
relationships doesn't matter what area
of your life what's the source of power
within you or your organization they can
turn around virtually anything in a
matter of moments and the answer that of
course is momentum now when you think
about what does it take to succeed
there's so many things you can talk
about what it takes to succeed in any
situation but one thing that is
universal to succeeding in any situation
as you must take the first step and
that's the one that most people don't do
they study it they think about it they
fret about it they complain about it but
rarely do they take the first step and I
want to do that I want to make sure that
if you never heard another word I said
for the rest of your life and you want
to improve anything you'd know what to
do first because we do the first thing
you'll likely come up with a second
third and fourth thing it's just a
natural part of momentum we'll have to
create that happening so what is that
first step well for me if I'm going to
work on an athlete or a business person
or a financial trader or a politician
just a matter what the context is their
game is not where they want it to be
whether they're games going well and
they want to make it better there's one
place I go first always and that is I
put them in a pink what the reason is
because until you put somebody in Peaks
pay everything you're gonna get is gonna
be less than who they are and what
they're capable of
so I want to get them that peak state so
for example I met Andre Agassi for the
first time years ago he was like 50th in
the world or something like that
now what happened was Andre has a
certain mindset and he came in and he
had kind of an attitude with me and I
said look Andre I said the bottom line
is you give me 15 minutes of your total
attention if no 17 minutes you do an
Astra do you don't feel an immediate
radical change then blow me off let's
move on let's not waste any time so what
I do basically was I gave him examples
from videos that I'd seen of him and I'd
say okay here's really won Wimbledon
that was when he's at his best here's a
guy that been as good as anybody in the
game and you watch him right and I show
him and this guy's walking out in the
court it's before he cut his hair and he
walks out like this right he looks of
course cross the court like this the guy
in the other side of the court I said
what were you thinking at that moment he
said I don't know what I was thinking I
said what were you thinking he said I
was thinking of this guy why did you
even show up right now it's not a
certain spate now that's thick you don't
think about okay it's my backhand gonna
be okay right because what happens is
when you're in your best you don't think
about how to do it you just do it don't
you it just flows that's a big thing so
I said okay here's the French Open he
walks out like Don Knotts looks over at
the other guys just look in his face
were you thinking then he said I
remember the last time he beat me so
what I do is I change is stay anchored
it showed him a couple ways to trigger
it was very fundamental and in less than
six months he was number one in the
world now Andres gone back down and up
again and forgot injured recently and I
was talking to Brooke about it she goes
his pride says he's got to do it himself
this time again which I'm sure he has
the ability to do but sometimes people
just don't manage that state they don't
go there first they work on their game
they're working on their state say I
don't know anything about the game but I
know everything about human psychology
would affects every game that's the
power that's the linkage so what we want
to do from this day forward is if you
want to get better to anything if you
want to suddenly be better in your
performance of business if you suddenly
want to be more passionate in your
relationship if you want to make an
improvement in your study habits if you
want to help your kids more the first
step to any of those things is always
the same put yourself in a white and a
peach day it's gonna be step number one
no matter what we do now here's the good
news there's basically two things you'll
change to change your state in a moment
you'll change either your
and what kind of changed in the
physiology
what kind radical change or you will
change your or both right and you know
how to do it so let's really quickly
first see that I'll walk you to the
whole thing first so once you get
yourself in a peak State that's kind of
like priming the pump every got yourself
in the peaks like a lamp and you're
there for a while then gradually you
come back to the Kryptonite Clark Kent
that you were before right how many of
experienced this being a peak state and
then gradually dropping down say I the
reason you drop down is you didn't keep
momentum going by going to the second
element and that is you must find your
passion what does that mean it means you
gotta discover what do you love what do
you really love what excites you what
juices you what do you hate because I
got news for you people are driven not
only about what they want but also what
they don't want very often people come
to me and I'll say well I don't know
what I want to do for my career I'll say
well do not describe me the ideal job I
don't know what it is I'll say okay
great
describe to me the job you would hate
subscribe to me right now our job
describe the environment you would hate
to be in the people you'd hate to be
around the kind of work you would hate
to do right kind of money you'd hate to
me you look through the whole thing and
when they're all done they have no
problem scrubbing what they hate and
they get passionate about what they are
I dislike that all this energy is coming
out of it then I say okay great look at
that you hate that yeah now right the
opposite and you know the job for heaven
you have your ideal so you can get to a
person's drive through what they love do
what they hate and what excites them to
it drives them and very often I'll ask
people or what do you want they don't I
don't know if I knew that I could get it
all worked out I really don't know and
the reason they don't know is because
you're asking and this thing see it's
like trying to walk in this day not
gonna happen
so the reason you're not getting the
answer is you are not putting yourself
in the state of total certainty so by
putting yourself in a peaks think people
are saying what I want to say stand tall
breathe strong
now if you do what you want what you say
it was them they tell you immediately
because all you've done is put in the
state where the answers really are there
it's all you got to do third part once
you're in state that's like priming the
pump right remember in the old days you
want to get the out of the well in the
water yeah
get something first so put yourself in
state fees it but to get to the well you
find your passion and the well of
passion is never-ending ain't you a lot
of things excites Nick Jane but once you
find that passion that'll go for a long
time but you ventually to keep momentum
going you have to take that passion and
do something with it so step three is
you must decide commit and resolve what
you're gonna do with it and that's what
keeps the momentum going otherwise
you're just passionate for a long time
and then gradually that'll dissipate and
by the way those are three different
experiences decision committing and
resolving they are different emotions
and they're all three critical if you're
gonna actually follow through in your
decision
step four for momentum is you must get
yourself to take mass of what that's
right because the only way a decision is
real is if you act upon it if you don't
have to pawn it you make a decision
you'll lose momentum and then finally
when you start taking action you'll
start getting results and now you want
to be smart and smart is an acronym for
you want to make sure your strategy is
really working member you want have
sensory acuity isn't working or not you
want to measure it you want assess is it
giving you what you want if it is you
want to reinforce it and take new action
and that keeps the momentum going and
then you'll see in the middle of the
circle there are some forces that will
either accelerate or break your progress
and that is emotion certain emotions
will speed it up more passion right more
intensity certain emotions like fear
will slow it down to a break your
progress of momentum same thing is true
with focusing your power when you
concentrate all your focus on something
it accelerates that if it's something
good if you focus on your greatest fear
it's gonna slow everything down same
thing is modeling if I want to speed up
my momentum well then I can learn by
someone else's experience when I had no
money I mean none I couldn't pay my own
bills I could make my rent I would take
my money and go to a seminar or take
somebody's lunch who was brilliant
pick their brain because I realized I'm
always not gonna have money for rent
until I make a radical change in my
understanding skill in psychology and I
don't want to wait forever I'm gonna get
it now so I would stretch to get the
resources of someone else when I
couldn't possibly do it cuz I understood
that a big part of my life came about
from saying I want to compress decades
in the days you only do that as get
those resources and that sped up my
momentum gave me the power of modeling
another one there is synergy how through
synergy you can speed things up and
lastly the power of environment but
drives you what you really want what are
you committed to now once you've got
those emotions brewing it's a lot easier
to do what all change comes from which
is to make a real one decision because
if you look at your life you want to see
why your life is the way it is the parts
of your life you love and maybe the
parts of your life you're not as
thrilled with you can really define why
your life is there if you really look at
your life by your decisions he said no
no that's the way God made it well that
may be true but God has made lots of
people have the same experience but what
you took out of that experience was your
conscious choice or unconscious choice
you decided and so if you look at your
life I bet you could look at the last 10
years of your life for example maybe
last 15 I'd be willing to bet there are
places along the way that if you would
have made a different decision your life
would be radically different than it is
right now better or worse I don't know
but you probably do but it certainly be
different
how many would agree with that say I am
a lot of times those decisions we don't
think much about sometimes decisions
like what we're gonna do for a living or
where we're gonna live or moving to
spend time with or we're gonna marry or
they're gonna have children all right
what we're gonna believe those choices
have shaped who you are and so if you
want to transform the quality of your
life there is only one power in its
decision but most people have not made a
decision so long like a real decision I
mean a tough one where it's hard you
make yourself do it they kind of like
Express preferences and kind of see if
it works out they put it in a shit mode
and decision made from a should is not a
real decision because you don't act on
it you do it for a little while you
never really not only decide but they
commit and really resolve but no matter
what you're gonna make it happen that's
different than just deciding in the
moment right that's not a real decision
that's the preference you're expressing
so if you think about that then there
are decisions along the way that shaped
your life radically and then you want to
save your life you want to take control
that power that your creator has given
you and you got to do it consciously
because otherwise what happens is you
just go with the flow and then going the
flow sounds really nice but the problem
is you get to the fork in the river and
you haven't decided clearly you go with
the flow will the flow of
the strongest flow goes to where the
Falls are and one day you wake up you
know three feet from Niagara Falls and a
boat with no oars you go oh shoot at
that points a little late so we want to
do is get really conscious about
decision making but again you want to do
it from a big state I had a friend that
for years drove this old horrible car he
hated he kept doing it because this
belief was that God wanted to be poor
and his kids hated it they make him drop
him off a block from school he made a
decision to believe that God wanted to
be abundant and his first act that he
did is committed actors you took out a
shotgun and blew up as many holes in
that car as he could saying I will never
drive this car again and neither will
anyone else commit an act momentum comes
when you not only decide but you take
immediate action what immediate action
are you gonna take to demonstrate you
meaning who you gonna tell what are you
gonna do what's the first thing it is
simple then what's a big thing you could
do that commits you here it shows this
means business action is momentum what
action would you take immediately to
create more momentum now to back up your
decision with power think it's a little
decision a little action rather on your
decision what's a big one you do that
would just be like this is it baby
and feel good feel good to take
committing acts wouldn't it it takes you
beyond decision it takes you to total
momentum action power results now if you
remember this momentum model we said
that the steps were the first put
yourself in a be quite step two is once
you're in that beat state to keep it
going you got to find your what do you
love what he hate would excite you it
drives you once you there you must take
immediate make I should say you must
make an immediate decision right because
you gotta use that emotion to do
something worthwhile and then you want
to take decision to committing and
resolving how many can feel the
difference when let's resolve say I then
you must take immediate massive
intelligent what that's right then all
you do is be smart which is notice your
strategy if it's working or not it's
working green
force it it'll keep your momentum it's
not change your approach what if that
doesn't work what do you do if that
doesn't work what do you do whole time
using your sensory community keep
changing till you get what you want
period
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