We the Internet TV is nonpartisan.
We're not Democrats. We're not Republicans.
What we are are concerned citizens.
And with the midterm elections coming up, we are concerned s**tless.
Currently, the Republicans control all three branches of the federal government.
That's not a good thing because one-party rule
throws off the necessary checks and balances we need to keep government in line.
That means Democrats, you need to step up and start bringing voters over to your side.
That's why I'm here, to give you donkeys some Do's and Don'ts to make that happen.
Actually, all I have are Don'ts.
Yeah, you guys got to stop with some of this bulls**t.
[WATERS] If you see anybody from that cabinet in a restaurant, in a department store, at a gasoline station,
you get out and you create a crowd!
[LOU] Maxine Waters, Eric Holder, even Hillary Clinton have called for it,
but Dems incivility is not a good strategy.
As Hillary tweeted, person-to-person conversations are the most effective way to turn people out to vote.
So knock on doors and recruit some friends to join you and make an afternoon of it.
Sure that, sounds great!
Unless you're recruiting those friends to go yell at Ted Cruz or Tucker Carlson in a restaurant.
[CROWD] (chanting) We believe survivors!
Sure you may ruin Ted's or Tucker's meal, but look around you.
You're ruining everyone's meal.
Customers, wait staff, owners -- all potential voters --
who you inadvertently treated like the Ted Cruz's and Tucker Carlson's of the world.
When those regular folks are in the voting booth,
the last thing you want them remembering is that swarm of bitter a-holes who swooped in
just when I was about to enjoy my flan.
Who's their guy? I'm voting against that guy.
And don't think just because you skipped the restaurant,
you can confront Republicans where they sleep.
Don't be a creep. Haunt Republican nightmares, not bedrooms.
You got to stop alienating the exhausted majority.
Who are they? They're the two-thirds of Americans who don't belong to either
the 25% who are traditional or devoted conservatives
or the 8% of Americans who are progressive activists.
The exhausted majority are really tired with our polarized national conversation.
They have a willingness to be flexible in their political viewpoints,
and a lack of voice in the national conversation.
They're not fans of political correctness either.
And no, they're not carrying tiki torches, okay?
They're normal people.
And a video like this one probably isn't gonna bring them over to your side.
[PSA] Dear young people. Don't vote.
Don't vote! Everything's fine the way it is.
Trump. That was us. He's our guy.
[LOU] I know the whole reverse psychology thing is meant to get people to vote against Trump and his party,
but all I got from this video was,
wow, apparently the only people who get old in this country are white.
And everything is their fault. We need to change that.
Ironically, if you want to change that, you got to stop playing identity politics.
And stop talking s**t about my mom.
Yeah, stop talking s**t about my old white mom.
All right, that sounded weird...
It's not like I have a young white mom, too. Or any other mom...
I only have one mom. She's white. She's old and white, okay?
Whatever. You guys are being major dicks to her.
I mean look at these articles!
As Bridget Phetasy, a white woman, writes in Tablet Magazine,
"Modern feminism demands I live in a constant state of feeling like a victim,
but if I'm white, I need to simultaneously accept that I'm never going to be victim enough,
and in fact, I'm actually an oppressor.
It's mind-bending and bananas and I won't do it."
Phetasy is not alone.
As Kyle Smith puts it, "The left will have only itself to blame
if white women increasingly feel put off by its nasty 'ad feminam' attacks."
I don't know how my mom feels about all this.
I don't know how she's voting. We don't talk politics.
Is it because she didn't breastfeed me? Of course not!
Okay, maybe it is, it doesn't matter.
Because in the end, all that matters is that she's my old white mama and I love her.
So if you're coming down on my old white mama,
then you might as well be heckling me out of a restaurant along with Ted Cruz and Tucker Carlson.
So there you have it, Dems.
Follow this advice and who knows!?
Instead of just restoring checks and balances,
we may see a shift of power so great
that we'll have to do one of these videos for Republicans.
So what else can Democrats do to win over voters?
Let us know in the comments.
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