Greetings and welcome to Awakening With Brahma Kumaris.
Welcome, Sister.
Om Shanti.
Om Shanti and welcome to Soul Reflections.
Thank you.
We were discussing about success last time. I would like to read something related to it.
One of the deadliest poisons a person can consume
In the lifetime
Is the poison of jealousy.
Jealousy opens floodgates of self-destruction.
Looking at somebody else's success
If I felt disturbed
If I felt bad
If I felt angry or sad
Then it is opening the gate of self-destruction.
Because if I have a Sanskar of jealousy
Which means I don't feel nice when somebody goes ahead of me.
But all the time there will be someone or the other who is ahead of me.
In my profession, in my career, in my relationships
In our day to day transactions, or even in a function that we organise - there will always be someone who does better than us.
Jealousy happens in so many aspects and not just in profession.
Even if somebody cooks better than me
If somebody's recipe is better than mine.
Jealousy can be at every level.
It can happen everywhere once it becomes a habit.
Even about appearance - height, weight complexion
Status, vehicles we own
Basically there is no limit.
Jealousy can happen within the family also - even between husband and wife.
So it's not only about profession.
It is about somebody having something more than what I have.
And if I don't like that they have more than me
Even if it means somebody is getting more appreciation then I get
Jealousy comes there also.
If somebody has something more than what I have
Then I don't feel good about it.
You won't believe, there are jealous people who even say - so many VIP's attended his father's funeral.
Even during the death.
That Sanskar will not go away even after death.
The Sanskar is not experiencing a death.
If I have a Sanskar of jealousy
How did it start? Someone scored more than me at school.
Why did jealousy get created? Because of my belief system.
The society on my family told me that whoever is ahead of me
Which meant who ever scored more marks than me
He is more successful than me.
If he is more successful than me he is better than me.
When somebody is better than me it creates inferiority in me.
This inferiority will not make me feel good.
And when I don't feel good whom will I hold responsible for it?
I am disturbed, I am not happy
Because of him. Just like how we hold somebody responsible for our anger or stress.
The same way when somebody is ahead of us and we feel uncomfortable
Then we hold that person responsible for our disturbance.
We say it is because of the particular thing which they have more than us.
Because of that I am disturbed. This is Jealousy.
When I have a problem that somebody has more than me
My soul power starts depleting.
When my soul power starts depleting
I will feel more disturb if they go ahead or achieve more once again
When the soul is powerful we will be able to accept other people's progress.
When the soul is weak we will not be able to accept other people's progress.
The moment I create jealousy
Soul power depletes and my jealousy increases.
It is like when I create anger, Soul power depletes. So now my Sanskar of creating anger increases.
When I create jealousy in one situation
Maybe in school, maybe at work, maybe with a colleague
The moment I created jealousy and Soul power depleted
My Sanskar of jealousy increased further.
Gradually it became a groove.
Suppose I was creating jealousy at office.
Or in my business.
That I didn't like others doing better in business.
Jealousy can start even with siblings - that my mother loves my sibling more than me.
So I am jealous of my sister.
At that time the kid may not know the word jealousy.
But why does the child not like that other person is getting more?
Because that soul has carried that Sanskar from his previous costume.
It is deeply ingrained. It doesn't happen to all kids.
It doesn't happen with all souls.
You are right.
It happens with some children and the extent of jealousy also differs.
Someone will feel a little upset somebody will feel very bad.
Some other kid may experience deep pain.
Another child will not feel anything at all.
Why is it different in different kids? Because those children brought that Sanskar with them.
When the child is 2 years 3 years or 4 years old
As he grows and starts going to school
He gets marks and will have to perform
He participates in sports, cultural activities and drama.
What does he notice when he participates in everything?
That whoever gets more than him
Whether it is in marks or any other extra curricular activities
He sees that whoever gets more than him, gets more appreciation than him.
And that other child is being called more successful than him.
There are class representatives who feel the principal has given them bigger and better responsibilities.
That child sees that whoever is getting more is being called more successful.
And whoever is not successful is automatically a failure.
I the soul will not like to be a failure and I want success.
But since nursery class
I could see the definitions of success around me.
Somebody won the first prize in a race, somebody got selected into the cricket team
It was called success and glorified.
People's success is glorified.
Teachers at school did not tell us
This student is very honest, this is success.
They didn't say this child is very caring, sharing and helpful, this is success.
The teacher appreciated that the child is very caring and cooperative.
But did not attach the word success to it.
Even at home parents appreciate qualities in the child.
They recognise the qualities in the child.
Not always. They blame the child that he just gives away whatever other kids ask him for.
They ask - how can he be successful in life?
They say he should fight, he should not give away his cycle to anyone who asks
He should learn to take care of his belongings.
Will happen to him later? - they speak that way.
The child is learning a belief system.
No matter what belief system the soul carries from his previous birth
What is the environment he gets in the present?
So we need to work on this belief systems.
If we start with small things
If we understand what is success for the soul
To increase soul qualities
The soul has those qualities but the society did not call those qualities as success.
They recognise that somebody is very honest and appreciate him.
But they don't say that person is successful.
The label of success is put only on people who acquire a lot outside.
So we did not know that values mean success of the soul.
If we start doing that from childhood
It would be a healing for the soul.
That somebody came first in the class and I came third
But I am still successful.
I am not a failure.
Because when we put the label of being successful on one soul
The other soul will automatically put the label or failure on himself.
If for me standing first in class is success.
It's my belief system which I got from my parents and teachers.
So if I don't get a first rank, and if I get 5th or 10th rank
For me that does not mean success.
And not successful means failure. This is an inner conversation of the soul.
I was not successful, that person was successful.
We need to attach success with values.
People would tell me - you are so successful, you have done so many movies, you have a unique voice.
And ask - why did you go to this part of spirituality?
The word success and its meaning are very very deeply ingrained.
That success means the number of movies you have acted in.
How much money you have earned.
Even though earlier you would react at very small things and get very disturbed.
Even if there was an ego which disturbed you at the slightest stimulus.
But I am successful.
And today when the solar power has increased so much
That no matter what happens around me I am stable
With the value of purity, value of divinity.
Value of peace - all these have increased in you.
You are not even working in any movies now.
And for that they say - god is giving him success on a platter and he is rejecting movies now.
Giving up such opportunities he has gone into spirituality.
It is very simple - because of the definition of success they set.
This is a chair and since childhood I was taught that the chair is meant to sit on.
Somebody taught us that a chair is meant for people to sit.
What is somebody had taught us that a chair is meant to be written on
Then we will start on the floor and return of the chair.
For how many years would we have done that?
Until we understood - for years.
Not just a few years because all my life I learnt this.
Deep belief system.
The chair was made for us to sit comfortably. But I made it difficult for myself
We sat on the floor and struggled to write on it.
It was uncomfortable, I develop pain in my neck because I had no idea that the chair is meant for me to sit.
Today I don't know what is success.
That is why my life has become very uncomfortable.
Because even today nobody around us calls soul power as success.
The other day somebody asked what is success.
I was sharing what it is.
She asked if it meant Holistic success.
She said - because that is success, you can call this Holistic success.
We find it difficult to call this success.
A successful sole means one which is full.
When it is not taught to a child
That when you think nice for another person here
When you corporate with somebody
When you speak the truth, when you are sincere
That is your success
A child was not taught all this.
So when the child felt somebody else is more successful than him
He felt bad. It starts with only feeling bad.
Feeling hurt.
And who did we hold responsible for the hurt? The other person.
First sign of jealousy.
I did not like other people going ahead of me.
But the more it was troubling me inside
The more my soul power was depleting.
When my soul power decreased, what happened to my capacity to perform?
It decreases.
So it is important to remember that jealousy does not only reduce soul power.
Jealousy reduces my performance and efficiency.
The people whom we want to get ahead of
By creating jealousy we put ourselves behind them.
If you and I are walking here
This is our path - it could be our profession or anything else.
We are going at a particular speed based on our capacity.
Your capacity is more than mine.
You are walking ahead of me.
I am behind you.
If I have the understanding that you are walking as per your capacity and I am walking as per mine.
I am very happy with my capacity.
And I want to increase my capacity.
If that was my belief system I would continue to walk.
I would have felt good about you that you have a better capacity and hence you are ahead of me.
By this what would I have done to my capacity?
I would have increased because of the positive feelings I am creating.
I don't need to go ahead of you.
I only need to increase my capacity.
If my definition of success is set correctly
Let us take a simple example that both of us are just walking.
We are just walking on the road.
You are walking slightly faster than me.
I am walking slower than you.
Looking at you I am just feeling good that you work at a good speed.
I also want to walk faster and I will learn from you also.
I will find out how you do it and how you train yourself everyday.
I will take tips from you.
I will increase my efficiency.
I will increase my capacity.
And then I will start working faster.
But what is my intention?
That I should also increase my capacity and walk faster.
It is not my intention to walk faster than you.
Both are completely different lines.
My capacity so I need to play against my own self. This is the line.
I have to play against my own capacity.
If I am playing against my own capacity what will I do to my capacity?
I will increase my capacity.
This is very important. But if you are walking ahead of me
And if I have to increase my capacity, then how should my state of mind be?
Even if it is just about walking
How should my state of mind be?
It should be fine and what should I do for that?
Seeing that you are working faster than me
I should feel happy and I should take inspiration
And along the way if you get stuck somewhere
If you twist your ankle or come across a huge stone
I should stop to help you.
When I earn blessings and when I am happy, what happens to my capacity?
It will increase.
When capacity is higher my speed also increases.
But when I see you walking faster, if I said to myself
He is more successful than me.
I am a failure in front of him.
I should go ahead of him. How come he is ahead right now?
If I create these thoughts
My inner state gets depleted
I will not like you
What vibrations will I send you?
Of anger and hatred.
What vibrations will I get from you?
Negative.
In that state of mind even if you get stuck on the way, I will walk past you.
I will not stop to help you If my intention is that I should go ahead of you.
Doing all this my state will get depleted.
When my soul power is depleted I will not be able to increase my capacity to walk faster.
But suppose I walked ahead of you by doing all this
In a few minutes I will see somebody else walking ahead of me
And Sanskar of jealousy which I had created while walking with you
It is recorded here, and once it is recorded here
Now when somebody else is walking in front of me, I feel jealous about him also.
That is why it says jealousy is self-destruction.
It opens the floodgates.
It means you continue to think wrong.
Suppose I am creating jealousy in business
But despite creating jealousy and despite adopting unethical means, if I reach number one position.
I am at number one but the Sanskar of jealousy is still within me.
I go home and I feel jealous about a family member.
Suppose I enter the field of social service - because now I have a lot of money which I earned in my business.
People gave me a status in the society.
But when I enter the field of social service, even there I start creating jealousy.
Why is his name written first and mine second?
He is made the president of this group and not me.
He is asked to sit in the front on a sofa and I am sitting behind on an ordinary chair.
I started feeling jealous even in the field where I went to offer service.
Jealousy was supposed to be only at work place isn't it?
Why did it happen at home?
And then I feel jealous even if my neighbour organises a function better than me.
Jealousy can reach such a level that
When somebody in their home passed away, so many VIPs came to pay homage.
See the extent to which it can go.
It no longer remains only at workplace.
It comes even in spiritual matters.
People say - you're invited that person for the Pooja at home? I will spend more money and invite even better people.
I will invite VIPs.
You served food in these plates, I will serve food for all the guests in silver plates.
That is why it says self-destruction.
There is no end to it so you will never be happy with it.
Exactly now I wanted to ask
We have been talking of success
A successful person has good bank balance, home, cars, staff
She can travel the world whenever he wants. But what will I do with success of the soul?
I was thinking about that.
And you clarified that when you are happier
You are happy.
And when you are happy
You will perform many times more and better than your earlier capacity.
When a person's state of mind is good
He will work much better outside.
He will perform better than his capacity.
Not in reference to other people.
When we are happy and even just taking a walk
Let's be happy and then walk.
We will not feel tired and we will walk an extra kilometre.
This is what - performing better than your capacity means.
When we can walk a kilometre extra just because we are happy
When we are happy and do any task
We do more than our capacity.
The problem started because we were not thinking of increasing our capacity.
We were thinking of doing better than other people.
And by thinking that way we were depleting our own capacity.
Apart from reducing our own capacity
The real success of the soul
The fulfillment was also getting depleted.
Competition, comparison and jealousy
Deplete soul power very quickly.
In the final swimming tournament at school
Buy competitor could have won the race
He could have won it in a split of a second, it was a very close race.
For one moment he turned back to see where I am.
And because he turned back he lost one second.
Why did it happen despite being first? The fear
That others should not go ahead of me
That fear reduced his own capacity.
That was at least a race. But this is life.
Even in a race which happens for a little while we create so many emotions.
But in life, if we are in a race throughout the day
How can we ever be happy then?
We will always be looking here and there to see who is the head of who is behind us.
How can we be happy then?
So today let's pause and prepare meditation for our self.
Just like the mantra that we have been preparing daily.
First is the understanding of what is success.
Increase in soul power is success.
Rest are achievements.
Those are achievements and this is success.
Those are marks and this is success.
So first we need to increase our understanding.
Second - who should I go ahead of?
I need to go ahead of my previous capacity.
Third - if I have a Sanskar of jealousy
Everyday I need to give myself this thought
I feel very good to see others doing well and progressing.
I have to say this to myself everyday.
I am very happy to see other people perform well.
I have to create this thought. Gradually the mind will start speaking a new language.
Because for many years now the mind has been saying that it does not feel good to see others do well.
Teach it another language.
It is all about teaching the mind another way of thinking.
It's all about teaching the mind.
I am very happy that they are doing well.
I am also very happy that I am doing very well.
Vibration will change, the energy will change.
We give everyone blessings and earn blessings
We will be happy and live a successful life.
The moment the soul leaves the body
For whatever reason we were fighting with people and being jealous of them
Hating them and trying to put them down
Within a moment everything will be left behind
And the depleted soul will carry a Sanskar of jealousy on its journey further.
Thank you so much, Sister.
We will practice that we feel very good to see others performing well.
It's not that we will feel good, fwe are already feeling good.
We need to create the thought of the reality we want to see.
I am happy to see others doing well.
I have to create that again and again.
Sure. I feel good to see others doing well.
Om Shanti.
Om Shanti.
Thank you.
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