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so many of us either blame or give
credit to others for how we feel you
make me so mad you make me so sad and
even you make me so happy the reality of
it is is that nobody can make us feel a
certain way and in this video I'm gonna
prove it to you what is up everybody
this is Chris from the rewired soul
where we talk about the problem but
focus on the solution and if you're new
to my channel my channel is all about
helping you improve your mental and
emotional well-being so if you're into
that kind of stuff make sure you
subscribe and ring that notification
bell because I make a ton of videos just
to help you out anyways the topic today
is how we blame others about making us
feel a certain way and then we do things
based on the way they made us feel so
this is a very important mental health
topic so I'm gonna warn you at the
beginning of this video when I give you
some examples it's gonna come off a
little tough love II but I guarantee by
the end of this video you're going to
feel empowered okay so let's get started
alright so let's imagine this scenario
okay
let's imagine you have a friend you may
not even have to imagine this let's
let's think about your friend who is
always late they're always late maybe
fifteen minutes late maybe you're that
friend okay and let's say you're
supposed to meet him for coffee at 10
o'clock in the morning okay so you go
and you're going to meet him for coffee
you sit down you get there maybe five
minutes early then all of a sudden in is
10 o'clock now you're angry you're angry
and they show up 15 minutes late now
let's do the exact same scenario but
let's say you're there in I don't know
maybe you have a book with you or maybe
you found something interesting on
social media maybe maybe one of my
videos right and you're sitting there
and you're watching it or you're
listening to it or you're reading it and
all of a sudden 10 o'clock strolling
around and all of a sudden you think
because you're so sucked into this book
or so or whatever you're doing you're
saying man I hope they show up 15
minutes late because I'm really into
this right now and then they show up 15
minutes late and it's not a big deal so
the same person was late by 15 minutes
but
one of those scenarios you were upset
and in the other scenario you didn't
mind so based on that how could that
person make you feel a certain way even
though they didn't change at all what's
that telling you here's another example
okay let's say in one scenario you know
you're you're trying to get ready you
know in the morning to go to work and
you know just things start going wrong
around the house and maybe maybe you
were trying to make some food and maybe
your kids were making you run late
or whatever it is then you drive off to
work in you're stuck in traffic and
you're just so upset oh these drivers
make me so mad they make me so angry
they're gonna make me late right they
show up late and you're upset about it
okay now let's take that exact same
scenario but everything goes really
smooth in the morning you make your
breakfast you get your kid ready and you
take him to school you're great you're
so good even that you're early
you left 15 or 20 minutes early there's
the exact same amount of traffic but
you're cool you're chilling you're just
listening to your music maybe you got
some and you show up to work on time and
you're totally cool the traffic didn't
change and either one of those scenarios
but in one you are really upset and then
the other you didn't mind are you
starting to follow me here are you
starting to see how other people and
situations cannot make us feel a certain
way this is extremely important and once
I realize this my life started to get
better my mental health started to
improve because I was constantly playing
the victim
if you will it's people places and
situations with just act right do the
things that I thought they should do
everything would be fine quit making me
feel a certain way but when I started to
look at this in a different light from a
different perspective I'm like oh wow
nobody can make me feel a certain way
see what's really fascinating to me is
about our thoughts and our emotions and
things like that
it's kind of like the weather all right
so it's not always raining but if
certain circumstances come into play
like temperature air pressure cloud
formations if these things come together
then it rains it's kind of like our
emotions we're not always mad we're not
always sad we're not always happy but if
some things align it can trigger one of
these emotions so this is really
important this is actually a concept
that I learned from meditation but the
reality is we need to quit playing the
victim and making believe that people
are making us feel a certain way and for
me it's actually quite silly when you
think about it right like if somebody
had the power or the ability to make us
feel something so easily
then wouldn't we be just as able to make
ourselves feel a certain way wouldn't
that be great if every time we were sad
right boom I'm gonna feel happy I'm
gonna make myself feel happy right
oh I'm angry boom I'm gonna make myself
feel not angry oh I'm anxious boom I'm
gonna make myself feel calm no it's not
that simple so why are we make believing
that other people have so much power
that they can make us feel a certain way
and this is what I'm talking about this
concept this idea is really empowering
once I figured this out I'm no longer
the victim I'm no longer the victim of
everybody and everything going on around
me okay
like they're not in control of my
emotions hell I'm in control of my
emotions you know what I mean but what's
the solution to this my personal
solution is meditation
meditation is my solution to dealing
with my thoughts my feelings my emotions
because what meditation teaches me to do
is to not run away from them okay not to
distract myself not to go out and do
toxic behaviors meditation for me helps
me sit and embrace these emotions and
what it's doing is it's actually
rewiring your brain to not want to run
away from those feelings so much you
remember that these things are going to
pass and for the most part these are
just sensations in your body the issue
that we have with most of these emotions
of feelings is that we latch on to
certain thoughts and we play them over
and over and over and over and over
again and it's usually not helpful it's
definitely getting more into the power
rather than the solution and when we
have sex on the sauce it makes us feel
even worse you see what I mean so
meditation for me helps me embrace these
things and just sit and be with my
feelings be with my emotions and I'm
able to get some clarity on the
situation I'm so to realize oh I'm not
mad at the traffic I'm upset because all
these other things happen this morning
right the girlfriend I'm not mad I'm so
no I'm not mad at my coworker I'm mad
because these other circumstances happen
and then we start to get this pause
because one of the issues a lot of us
have is that we lash out on the wrong
people in the wrong moment because
somebody just said the thing that set us
off but really we were upset about a
million other things that happen so when
we start to practice meditation my
preferred practice of meditation is
mindfulness which is a lot of moments
throughout the day of being very present
and noticing what's happening in my mind
as well as in my body and what I can do
that I can work on myself I can improve
my mental health anyways this is this is
a topic I wanted to touch on based on
some stuff that I've been seeing you
know online of people tweeting about and
stuff like that I'm like nobody can make
you feel a certain way so I hope this
video helped you out if you think it
might help somebody else make sure you
go share it share it on Facebook or
Instagram or Twitter or whatever you got
to do baby just go out and share it
alright but that's all I got for you if
you like this video please give it a
thumbs up and if you're new here again
I'm always making videos to help you out
with your mental and emotional
well-being so make sure you click that
subscribe button and bring that
notification bell and a huge thank you
to everybody supporting the channel over
on patreon I love all of you so so much
and if you want to remind people to
focus on the solution BAM
check out the rewired soul merch shop on
the back of every shirt it says focus on
the solution it's a great little
reminder all right thanks so much for
watching I'll see you next time
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