Renee: What if I told you that meeting your
dream woman is actually easier than you
think?
and that you've had the power all along?
I'm Renee Slansky for The Attractive Man
team and today in this video I'm going
to reveal to you the five fears that are
blocking you from meeting your dream
girl I'm also going to give you the
simple strategies to get overcome those
fears increase your confidence and make
your love life limitless I'm a
professional dating and relationship
coach and I help men from around the
world increase their confidence and
build the relationship that they really
crave now typically speaking most of the
time the reason why we come against
roadblocks or we find that we're not
getting the progress that we want in our
relationships or we're not attracting
the woman that we want into our world is
simply because of fear or lack now
whether it is fear of failure fear of
repeating the past fear of not being
aligned enough or lack of confidence
lack of self-worth or lack of knowledge
on how to actually approach women most
of the problems that we have that hinder
us from love boiled down to those two
things but in this video I really want
to focus on the word fear because here's
the thing about fear fear is a big fat
liar now what fear does is it takes a
thought or an idea and it builds it up
to be something that isn't even a
reality yet and this hinders us from
opportunities it limits our potential as
a person and in this case it also
actually stops you from being able to
attract the right we went into your
world with such ease and confidence now
in order to become fearless the first
thing you need to understand is why you
had those fears when we can identify the
problems that we're up against we're
then able to really look at why we have
these problems where are they stemming
from what are the beliefs associated
with those problems and then once we
have the whys we can then work on the
house and that's what I want to do for
you in this video I'm a really practical
dating and relationship coach and I'm
not going to sugarcoat the truth from
you okay I've heard all the truth I want
to make sure that you're first able to
identify
sort of fears you might have that are
actually blocking you from meeting this
scalp and then I'm going to give you a
simple sort of strategy in order to be
able to overcome that fear so that you
can hear it on the head move forward and
get on with having an awesome love life
the first fear is fear of inadequacy now
whether this is you feel inadequate as a
man because you don't believe that your
finances or your life is up to date or
whether it is that you feel inadequate
physically or maybe you feel inadequate
in a status position either way when we
don't feel like we're enough we project
that and not only does that lower our
confidence but most of the time it
actually lowers our standards as well
and then we wonder why we're putting
this effort into dating and we're not
really getting the results that we
desire and that's because if you have a
deep sense of belief that who you are
isn't enough or what you have isn't
enough to offer the right woman then
you're not really going to attract the
right woman because you'll be living
thinking and speaking and making actions
out of that deep centered belief now we
all know that life is a journey there's
always going to be seasons where we have
abundance and sometimes where we don't
have as much if you can understand that
you are enough and that your validation
as a man has nothing to do a width of
whether or not you're being affirmed or
rejected by a woman then it's going to
help you realize that where you are in
this point in your life you're still
able to make the most of it the thing is
a lot of the times when I'm coaching men
I find that one of the repetitive sort
of patterns they have is feeling that
you have to be at a certain level before
you can start dating and it's like
you're living in the future of who you
want to be instead of celebrating who
you are now here is what I want you to
do to help overcome that fear I want you
to do the opposite of a vision board I
want you to do an accomplishment board
this is a great little exercise it'll
probably take you about 10 15 minutes
and it is something that is highly
effective all you need to do is get a
piece of paper maybe a cork board or
whatever it is in your reach and simply
list all your accomplishments what have
you achieved up until this point in your
life have you achieved certain degree
have you achieved certain statuses have
you achieved certain relationships with
your family that are worth noting you
see I want you to realize that your past
doesn't have to be a place of residence
but a place of reference meaning you
have done great things
who you are is enough and it's really
about taking that time to actually
acknowledge who you are at this point in
your life an accomplishment board is
basically a reminder of who you are
right now and who you've been in the
past it's there to celebrate your
identity it's said to celebrate your
achievements and to remind you visually
that you are actually progressing in
life that you are somebody that you
don't have to reach a certain level in
order to feel that you are able to love
and be loved by a woman the second fear
is fear of failure now fear of failure I
think is something that the majority of
people struggle with but moreso you guys
because there is so much pressure placed
on you by society to be the man to be
the provider to be the protector and you
almost have to live up to these
unrealistic expectation now the good
point from point number one with the
accomplishment board is that it's going
to help recognize that you aren't
failing that you have achieved something
and that you are progressing as well now
if you feel again that you're going to
fail in a relationship what you need to
do is you need to just scale it back a
little bit and take the overwhelm out of
the end result fear of failure is
basically seen and end result and
assuming that you're not going to make
it or that you don't have what it takes
in order to be able to succeed in a
relationship relationships are always
changing and growing and don't forget
you're not the only person in the
relationship it's also up to her as well
to make sure that she's playing her part
in order to make the relationship
succeed as well take the pressure off
yourself not every relationship is going
to last because that is just how life is
and we can't control other people's
actions and reactions in the
relationship all we can do is control
our reaction and our actions in the
relationship if you have a fear of
failure then this is what you need to do
the thing is whatever we water is what
so it's important to make sure that
we're watering thoughts and words and
actions on what it is that we actually
want to blossom you might not always be
everything to her and that's okay
because it's not your responsibility to
be her whole entire world or you might
not have everything that you think that
she wants guys let me give you a little
bit of advice right now women want a
husband not a hero I know that
instinctually you guys want to step into
this night saving role that you want to
be our protector and provider and
everything like that but at the end of
the day we don't want all the fancy
stuff we don't even necessarily want all
the money in the the glitz and the glam
and everything like that we want you for
you we want your time we want to know
that you value us we want to know at the
end of the day you're going to be there
beside us that is what we're focusing on
we're not focusing on what you're not
doing we're focusing on what you are
doing
so therefore in our mind it's not even
about failure it's just more about the
effort that you're actually putting in
so I suggest if you do have this fear of
failure then remember what is a woman
actually wanting what is she actually
thinking focus on that focus on what you
are able to give not what you aren't or
have a fear about and that is how you'll
start to overcome that fear the third
fear is fear of the future now this
basically centers around the belief that
you'd feel that you can't control what
is going to happen maybe you're someone
that feels that you like to have almost
all your ducks lined up in a row or you
like to have things in order where you
can see that because it means that you
can then control your reaction to them
now that is typically usually because
you've had a past experience probably
from your parents where things have hurt
you that you didn't see coming and so
what you want to do is almost like you
want to safeguard yourself now
safeguarding yourself means that you
limit yourself from mystery from
surprises and also from the full
capacity of what a relationship can be
guys this is what you need to do in
order to be able to overcome fear of the
future living in the future means that
you're going to miss out on the present
because you're basing your future ideas
of what has happened in the past the
okay with getting over your fear of the
future is understanding that you cannot
control life all you can do is control
your reaction to life and that is where
the power lies in having peace in your
decisions and knowing that regardless of
what happens you're going to be okay
the fourth fear is fear of commitment or
fear of missing out now fear of
commitment usually stems from either
feeling that you were abandoned when
you're a child or maybe you had parents
that were divorced it could also mean
that you feel that you want the next
best thing
and unfortunately with our access to
online dating and dating ups we have so
many choices in front of us that it's
hard not to always consistently be
looking for the next best thing when you
actually start to allow this fear to
control you live it's almost like you
had this sense of restlessness because
you're constantly seeking and searching
for the next best thing or you don't
ever want to say yes to one thing a
hundred percent because you think that
you might miss out on something that is
ultimately better this isn't about
dating every single gal until you
finally find the right one because
that's exhausting and you're going to
get choice fatigue and you're probably
going to be 10 20 years down the track
and still single this is about really
pinpointing what it is that you want
really focusing in on that and making
sure that you limit your options only to
that the more options and things that
you add into the equation the more
anxiety that you're going to have around
the decision and the more you're going
to start focusing on well maybe I can
have better maybe I could have this
maybe I can have that is one thing to
have standard and to know if you need to
raise your standards or not it's another
thing to make dating and choices of who
you date out of a fear that you could
have better or you're going to miss out
on something better so I suggest simply
limiting your options again focusing on
ideally what it is that you really
desire and then being committed to that
person I'm not necessarily talking about
being in a full relationship with her
straightaway but rather being present in
that sort of relationship all those
dates that you go on instead of being on
your app and looking at someone else or
wondering about someone else you know
focus on what that person brings to the
table focus on their potential and the
potential of what you could actually
have together as a couple before you
bring someone else into the equation
we're never really going to know the
full potential of what we can have with
someone if we're constantly focusing on
other people and lastly the fifth fear
is fear of vulnerability guys love is a
risk and unfortunately you can try and
be as calculated and controlled about it
as you like but at the end of the day it
does involve another person and you
can't control the other person so
there's always going to be some level of
risk involved in finding love
vulnerability isn't a weakness in a
relationship it's actually something
that can strengthen your relationship it
makes things transparent it helps build
trust and it's actually a really
attractive quality in a man for us women
we want to know that the men we're
dating are men who aren't afraid to let
their walls down is not that we're
asking you to lay your heart on the line
because trust me I coach my women out
there not to lay their heart on the line
straight away it's important that you
get to know the person behind the
commitment at the same time you can't be
constantly guarded because of what's
happened in the past or what you're
afraid will happen in the future again
if you have this fear of being who you
are then you're never really going to
know if the person that you're dating
really loves you for who you are fear of
vulnerability basically stands back to
having been hurt in the past or having a
lack of awareness of how to actually
reduce the risk when it comes to love
and in order to be able to conquer this
fear I really recommend doing the boot
camp that we have with the attractive
man this is something that is going to
help increase your knowledge which in
turn increases your confidence it's
going to give you real sort of insight
and awareness and what it is you need to
look for what it is that you need to do
so that you don't just have the whys but
you also have the house it's one thing
to be able to identify these fears it's
another thing to know what it is that
you need to do in order to be able to
overcome them and become fearless so
which one of these fears can you relate
to I want you to actually tell me in the
comments below now if you really want to
increase your confidence and overcome
these fears then Matt has created a
confidence cheat sheet which has 18
proven ways to help you overcome these
fears and increase your confidence and
deal with stressful situations such as
approaching beautiful women this is all
based
on science and psychology and these are
methods that actually work to get your
free guide all you need to do is click
on the image at the bottom right hand of
this screen and it'll go straight to
your inbox and don't forget if you
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notifications already then do so now
because you don't want to miss out on my
next few videos pass this video on to a
maybe another mate that really needs
help in this area as well and until next
time I'll see you then bye for now
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