Renee: What if I told you that meeting your
  dream woman is actually easier than you
  think?
  and that you've had the power all along?
  I'm Renee Slansky for The Attractive Man
  team and today in this video I'm going
  to reveal to you the five fears that are
  blocking you from meeting your dream
  girl I'm also going to give you the
  simple strategies to get overcome those
  fears increase your confidence and make
  your love life limitless I'm a
  professional dating and relationship
  coach and I help men from around the
  world increase their confidence and
  build the relationship that they really
  crave now typically speaking most of the
  time the reason why we come against
  roadblocks or we find that we're not
  getting the progress that we want in our
  relationships or we're not attracting
  the woman that we want into our world is
  simply because of fear or lack now
  whether it is fear of failure fear of
  repeating the past fear of not being
  aligned enough or lack of confidence
  lack of self-worth or lack of knowledge
  on how to actually approach women most
  of the problems that we have that hinder
  us from love boiled down to those two
  things but in this video I really want
  to focus on the word fear because here's
  the thing about fear fear is a big fat
  liar now what fear does is it takes a
  thought or an idea and it builds it up
  to be something that isn't even a
  reality yet and this hinders us from
  opportunities it limits our potential as
  a person and in this case it also
  actually stops you from being able to
  attract the right we went into your
  world with such ease and confidence now
  in order to become fearless the first
  thing you need to understand is why you
  had those fears when we can identify the
  problems that we're up against we're
  then able to really look at why we have
  these problems where are they stemming
  from what are the beliefs associated
  with those problems and then once we
  have the whys we can then work on the
  house and that's what I want to do for
  you in this video I'm a really practical
  dating and relationship coach and I'm
  not going to sugarcoat the truth from
  you okay I've heard all the truth I want
  to make sure that you're first able to
  identify
  sort of fears you might have that are
  actually blocking you from meeting this
  scalp and then I'm going to give you a
  simple sort of strategy in order to be
  able to overcome that fear so that you
  can hear it on the head move forward and
  get on with having an awesome love life
  the first fear is fear of inadequacy now
  whether this is you feel inadequate as a
  man because you don't believe that your
  finances or your life is up to date or
  whether it is that you feel inadequate
  physically or maybe you feel inadequate
  in a status position either way when we
  don't feel like we're enough we project
  that and not only does that lower our
  confidence but most of the time it
  actually lowers our standards as well
  and then we wonder why we're putting
  this effort into dating and we're not
  really getting the results that we
  desire and that's because if you have a
  deep sense of belief that who you are
  isn't enough or what you have isn't
  enough to offer the right woman then
  you're not really going to attract the
  right woman because you'll be living
  thinking and speaking and making actions
  out of that deep centered belief now we
  all know that life is a journey there's
  always going to be seasons where we have
  abundance and sometimes where we don't
  have as much if you can understand that
  you are enough and that your validation
  as a man has nothing to do a width of
  whether or not you're being affirmed or
  rejected by a woman then it's going to
  help you realize that where you are in
  this point in your life you're still
  able to make the most of it the thing is
  a lot of the times when I'm coaching men
  I find that one of the repetitive sort
  of patterns they have is feeling that
  you have to be at a certain level before
  you can start dating and it's like
  you're living in the future of who you
  want to be instead of celebrating who
  you are now here is what I want you to
  do to help overcome that fear I want you
  to do the opposite of a vision board I
  want you to do an accomplishment board
  this is a great little exercise it'll
  probably take you about 10 15 minutes
  and it is something that is highly
  effective all you need to do is get a
  piece of paper maybe a cork board or
  whatever it is in your reach and simply
  list all your accomplishments what have
  you achieved up until this point in your
  life have you achieved certain degree
  have you achieved certain statuses have
  you achieved certain relationships with
  your family that are worth noting you
  see I want you to realize that your past
  doesn't have to be a place of residence
  but a place of reference meaning you
  have done great things
  who you are is enough and it's really
  about taking that time to actually
  acknowledge who you are at this point in
  your life an accomplishment board is
  basically a reminder of who you are
  right now and who you've been in the
  past it's there to celebrate your
  identity it's said to celebrate your
  achievements and to remind you visually
  that you are actually progressing in
  life that you are somebody that you
  don't have to reach a certain level in
  order to feel that you are able to love
  and be loved by a woman the second fear
  is fear of failure now fear of failure I
  think is something that the majority of
  people struggle with but moreso you guys
  because there is so much pressure placed
  on you by society to be the man to be
  the provider to be the protector and you
  almost have to live up to these
  unrealistic expectation now the good
  point from point number one with the
  accomplishment board is that it's going
  to help recognize that you aren't
  failing that you have achieved something
  and that you are progressing as well now
  if you feel again that you're going to
  fail in a relationship what you need to
  do is you need to just scale it back a
  little bit and take the overwhelm out of
  the end result fear of failure is
  basically seen and end result and
  assuming that you're not going to make
  it or that you don't have what it takes
  in order to be able to succeed in a
  relationship relationships are always
  changing and growing and don't forget
  you're not the only person in the
  relationship it's also up to her as well
  to make sure that she's playing her part
  in order to make the relationship
  succeed as well take the pressure off
  yourself not every relationship is going
  to last because that is just how life is
  and we can't control other people's
  actions and reactions in the
  relationship all we can do is control
  our reaction and our actions in the
  relationship if you have a fear of
  failure then this is what you need to do
  the thing is whatever we water is what
  so it's important to make sure that
  we're watering thoughts and words and
  actions on what it is that we actually
  want to blossom you might not always be
  everything to her and that's okay
  because it's not your responsibility to
  be her whole entire world or you might
  not have everything that you think that
  she wants guys let me give you a little
  bit of advice right now women want a
  husband not a hero I know that
  instinctually you guys want to step into
  this night saving role that you want to
  be our protector and provider and
  everything like that but at the end of
  the day we don't want all the fancy
  stuff we don't even necessarily want all
  the money in the the glitz and the glam
  and everything like that we want you for
  you we want your time we want to know
  that you value us we want to know at the
  end of the day you're going to be there
  beside us that is what we're focusing on
  we're not focusing on what you're not
  doing we're focusing on what you are
  doing
  so therefore in our mind it's not even
  about failure it's just more about the
  effort that you're actually putting in
  so I suggest if you do have this fear of
  failure then remember what is a woman
  actually wanting what is she actually
  thinking focus on that focus on what you
  are able to give not what you aren't or
  have a fear about and that is how you'll
  start to overcome that fear the third
  fear is fear of the future now this
  basically centers around the belief that
  you'd feel that you can't control what
  is going to happen maybe you're someone
  that feels that you like to have almost
  all your ducks lined up in a row or you
  like to have things in order where you
  can see that because it means that you
  can then control your reaction to them
  now that is typically usually because
  you've had a past experience probably
  from your parents where things have hurt
  you that you didn't see coming and so
  what you want to do is almost like you
  want to safeguard yourself now
  safeguarding yourself means that you
  limit yourself from mystery from
  surprises and also from the full
  capacity of what a relationship can be
  guys this is what you need to do in
  order to be able to overcome fear of the
  future living in the future means that
  you're going to miss out on the present
  because you're basing your future ideas
  of what has happened in the past the
  okay with getting over your fear of the
  future is understanding that you cannot
  control life all you can do is control
  your reaction to life and that is where
  the power lies in having peace in your
  decisions and knowing that regardless of
  what happens you're going to be okay
  the fourth fear is fear of commitment or
  fear of missing out now fear of
  commitment usually stems from either
  feeling that you were abandoned when
  you're a child or maybe you had parents
  that were divorced it could also mean
  that you feel that you want the next
  best thing
  and unfortunately with our access to
  online dating and dating ups we have so
  many choices in front of us that it's
  hard not to always consistently be
  looking for the next best thing when you
  actually start to allow this fear to
  control you live it's almost like you
  had this sense of restlessness because
  you're constantly seeking and searching
  for the next best thing or you don't
  ever want to say yes to one thing a
  hundred percent because you think that
  you might miss out on something that is
  ultimately better this isn't about
  dating every single gal until you
  finally find the right one because
  that's exhausting and you're going to
  get choice fatigue and you're probably
  going to be 10 20 years down the track
  and still single this is about really
  pinpointing what it is that you want
  really focusing in on that and making
  sure that you limit your options only to
  that the more options and things that
  you add into the equation the more
  anxiety that you're going to have around
  the decision and the more you're going
  to start focusing on well maybe I can
  have better maybe I could have this
  maybe I can have that is one thing to
  have standard and to know if you need to
  raise your standards or not it's another
  thing to make dating and choices of who
  you date out of a fear that you could
  have better or you're going to miss out
  on something better so I suggest simply
  limiting your options again focusing on
  ideally what it is that you really
  desire and then being committed to that
  person I'm not necessarily talking about
  being in a full relationship with her
  straightaway but rather being present in
  that sort of relationship all those
  dates that you go on instead of being on
  your app and looking at someone else or
  wondering about someone else you know
  focus on what that person brings to the
  table focus on their potential and the
  potential of what you could actually
  have together as a couple before you
  bring someone else into the equation
  we're never really going to know the
  full potential of what we can have with
  someone if we're constantly focusing on
  other people and lastly the fifth fear
  is fear of vulnerability guys love is a
  risk and unfortunately you can try and
  be as calculated and controlled about it
  as you like but at the end of the day it
  does involve another person and you
  can't control the other person so
  there's always going to be some level of
  risk involved in finding love
  vulnerability isn't a weakness in a
  relationship it's actually something
  that can strengthen your relationship it
  makes things transparent it helps build
  trust and it's actually a really
  attractive quality in a man for us women
  we want to know that the men we're
  dating are men who aren't afraid to let
  their walls down is not that we're
  asking you to lay your heart on the line
  because trust me I coach my women out
  there not to lay their heart on the line
  straight away it's important that you
  get to know the person behind the
  commitment at the same time you can't be
  constantly guarded because of what's
  happened in the past or what you're
  afraid will happen in the future again
  if you have this fear of being who you
  are then you're never really going to
  know if the person that you're dating
  really loves you for who you are fear of
  vulnerability basically stands back to
  having been hurt in the past or having a
  lack of awareness of how to actually
  reduce the risk when it comes to love
  and in order to be able to conquer this
  fear I really recommend doing the boot
  camp that we have with the attractive
  man this is something that is going to
  help increase your knowledge which in
  turn increases your confidence it's
  going to give you real sort of insight
  and awareness and what it is you need to
  look for what it is that you need to do
  so that you don't just have the whys but
  you also have the house it's one thing
  to be able to identify these fears it's
  another thing to know what it is that
  you need to do in order to be able to
  overcome them and become fearless so
  which one of these fears can you relate
  to I want you to actually tell me in the
  comments below now if you really want to
  increase your confidence and overcome
  these fears then Matt has created a
  confidence cheat sheet which has 18
  proven ways to help you overcome these
  fears and increase your confidence and
  deal with stressful situations such as
  approaching beautiful women this is all
  based
  on science and psychology and these are
  methods that actually work to get your
  free guide all you need to do is click
  on the image at the bottom right hand of
  this screen and it'll go straight to
  your inbox and don't forget if you
  haven't subscribed and turned on the
  notifications already then do so now
  because you don't want to miss out on my
  next few videos pass this video on to a
  maybe another mate that really needs
  help in this area as well and until next
  time I'll see you then bye for now
     
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