♪ Caldwell and Nathan are two cartoonists ♪
♪ They love to draw, but they're not too smart ♪
♪ So they sold their souls to the TV Devil ♪
♪ For a cartoon show that features their art ♪
♪ They all shook hands and drank a toast ♪
♪ Neither could believe their newfound luck ♪
♪ But then on the way to the studio ♪
♪ They were both laid out by a hot dog truck ♪
♪ Now in a somewhat ironic twist ♪
♪ They're in Hell forever ♪
♪ And hey, get this ♪
♪ They've gotta make a show ♪
♪ That they think is gonna sell ♪
♪ If they ever wanna get out of Cartoon Hell ♪
- Morning, Nathan, how's it going?
- You know, still acclimating
to our new punishment environment.
- How was your breakfast?
Did you get anything?
- I just went with the maggot puffs.
- Oh, nice.
I just let a demon shit right in my mouth.
- Despair!
- Oh! - Horror!
Repentance!
I am Managar!
- Hey, Managar, good morning. - Hey, Managar.
- Hey, guys, how's it going?
- (chuckles) You know.
- So you know the deal, we gotta,
I'm gonna make you guys make a new cartoon
and we will judge it appropriately.
Every suggestion comes from a dark lord demon.
- Sure.
- This one comes from Jeter R.
As an average college boy, I love weed, I love anime,
please draw weed anime.
- Caldwell, I've got a good feeling about this one.
You probably know a bit more about anime,
I might know a tidbit more about the devil's grass.
- That's why you're down here.
- Yeah, if you smoke weed even once, you do go to hell.
- And I did smoke it even once.
- I do love anime quite a bit.
- Yeah, anime's great.
- It is absolutely not, but I gotta go take care
of some, a new order of pitchforks came in
and I gotta make sure they're pointy enough.
So I'll leave you to it.
Good luck, boys.
- Thanks, Managar. - Oh, thanks, Managar.
- So, Nathan, we gotta get down to it.
- If ever we're going to make a show,
that's gonna earn us our freedom,
- Yeah.
- [Nathan] it's gonna be the weed anime.
- [Caldwell] I mean, it's peanut butter and chocolate
and then also weed, it's just a perfect combo.
- (laughs) You got weed in my anime.
(laughing)
You got anime in my weed.
- [Caldwell] This is Toku.
- [Nathan] Oh, okay.
He looks like a pretty chill dude.
- [Caldwell] Toku is just traveling the Earth
in search of, I guess just the greatest nugs you can find.
- (laughs) He's got a pot leaf for hair.
- (laughs) You like that?
- [Nathan] I think the demons will get a kick
outta that, yeah.
- [Caldwell] Yeah, they do have a good sense of humor.
Alright, so yeah, Nathan,
I think that this is Toku, - Yeah.
- [Caldwell] Maybe he's on a search for the Dragon Bong?
- [Nathan] That is also a good title for the show.
- [Caldwell] Oh, shit, Dragon Bong.
Maybe, it's gotta have an unnecessary
kind of subtitle to it.
- Dragon Bong, - THC.
- [Nathan] Yeah, Dragon Bong THC.
(laughing)
I mean, it could also be Dragon Bong
and then, like, colon, and then a whole sentence.
- [Caldwell] Oh, that's true, yeah.
To Be a Blazing Star.
- (laughs) Dragon Bong: To Be a Blazing,
(laughs) To Be a Blazing Star.
- [Caldwell] Alright, so what sort of outfit
do you think that Toku should be wearing?
- [Nathan] A poncho?
- [Caldwell] Like one of those Baja hoodies?
- [Nathan] Yeah.
- Does he have some sort of magical spliff,
or does he ride on like a cloud, maybe?
- He has a spliff, I think it's for sure big,
if a regular person were to smoke it,
it would just get them like totally baked,
- [Caldwell] Right.
- [Nathan] but because Toku is training
to become a Dank Master, - Right.
- [Nathan] he's able to channel that smoke
and bend it to his will.
- Is there like a weed hand symbol you can do?
- [Nathan] I mean, we can invent one,
thumbs up with the pinky out?
- [Caldwell] What about thumbs up
with the middle finger out?
- Oh, dude, that's so wrong.
(laughing)
Oh, I love that.
Now, Caldwell, is Toku just a regular, human boy?
- [Caldwell] No, he's an alien from a foreign planet,
which explains his ability to smoke
so much of that good ganj. - Okay.
- [Caldwell] I'm trying to think
what the name of his planet would be though,
or like what his race is?
- [Nathan] A Can Nabus.
(laughing)
- [Caldwell] Sativa?
He's from the planet Sativa?
Is that a weed?
- Yeah. - Oh, nice, I knew one weed.
- [Nathan] Caldwell leveled up.
Okay, so he's from the planet Sativa.
- [Caldwell] Yeah, he's a lost prince of the planet Sativa,
a race known as the Canniboids.
- [Nathan] The Canniboids are his race.
What were the race that they smoked all of?
- The Nugglets? - The Nugglets!
Yes, okay.
- [Caldwell] We're gonna need Toku to power up
and kind of like say things, so I wanna come up
with some other cool weed phrases he can say,
when he's powering up. - Yeah.
Danks for stopping by. - Oh, that's good.
Maybe like smoke up, yeah?
- What about (coughing)?
(laughing)
Hold on, (coughing).
- [Caldwell] Yeah, yeah, yeah,
I think those are all pretty good,
I think I'm about done with this guy,
is there anything else you think I should add to Toku?
- I like Toku, the more I look at
his hand making that symbol, the more I enjoy it,
it's positive and offensive at the same time,
(laughing)
which is sort of a perfect allegory for weed.
- If you were to translate this hand gesture into words,
it would be fuck you, relax. - Yeah. (laughing)
- But this is like if you wanna know if someone's chill,
if you wanna know if someone's like.
- If you wanna know if someone's chill,
you flick them off with a thumbs up
and see if they reciprocate or if they just get mad.
- [Caldwell] Yeah, the weedman's greeting.
- Hey, I'm poking my head in here,
'cause I wanted to make sure you guys
are, you know, keeping up with, oh God!
Fuck you, I will not relax!
What is that kid doing?
(laughing)
Oh my God, do you guys even watch anime?
What is this?
- This is anime. - Nathan, listen,
you're gonna have to save this train wreck,
people don't want friendly dudes in anime,
people watch anime for a handful of reasons
and it's big robots, violent destruction,
naked, 14-year old girls. - Yeah.
- Listen, if I can't buy this in the adult section
of Suncoast Video, I ain't watching it,
that was a joke for literally a specific narrow band
of people in their early 30s.
- [Caldwell] So Nathan, is this the Dragon Bong?
- [Nathan] Yeah, this is the Dragon Bong I'm drawing.
I'm trying to, you know, not make this a direct ripoff
of Dragon Ball. - Hm-mm, what's that?
- [Nathan] (laughs) Nevermind.
- Managar, how's this looking to you?
- I feel like I could wear that on the back of a rayon shirt
and feel like a real cool guy.
- [Nathan] Are there gonna be
any merchandising opportunities, if we do a good cartoon?
- [Managar] If the cartoon is good,
we will air it to all the children in Hell,
which is a lot. - Yeah.
- [Managar] I mean, if you die and are under the age of 18
and were on Santa's Naughty List, you're in here.
- [Caldwell] You use Santa's Naughty List
as like a kind of primer guide for who's going to Hell?
- [Managar] Oh yeah, yeah, yeah,
Santa has very tough standards and he has damned millions.
- [Caldwell] Oh wow, I did not realize
Santa was so Calvinist.
- [Managar] And if the cartoon is bad,
it will go where all bad cartoons go,
the Wednesdays at 10:30 after South Park slot
on Comedy Central.
- [Caldwell] That seems really cruel.
- [Managar] I'm rooting for ya,
we don't need another Brickleberry on our hands.
(laughing)
- Well, could we at least try and get
like a celebrity name attached to it?
Doug Benson, doesn't he, he likes weed, right?
- Unfortunately Doug Benson is immortal.
- [Caldwell] There's an amount of weed you can smoke,
that will make you immortal.
- [Managar] He's the only one that did it.
- [Caldwell] It either kills you or makes you immortal.
That's true of anything though.
- [Managar] See, my font of wisdom, Caldwell.
(laughing)
- [Caldwell] How does Toku discover this Dragon Bong?
- I was thinking about it, - Yeah.
- [Nathan] and I think he finds his Magic Spliff,
the direction of the smoke, - Oh.
- [Nathan] that he puffs, he follows that
and it leads him to the Dragon Bong.
- [Caldwell] Nathan, is Piccolo in this show?
- [Nathan] Just like, he is Piccolo from.
- [Caldwell] Yeah, you don't have to draw him,
I just want confirmation, that Piccolo's up in there.
- [Nathan] Yeah, he shows up.
- [Caldwell] He's not involved in the adventure at all,
he's just like Toku gets high with Piccolo
every once in a while.
Now I like to think that when his Magic Spliff
leads him to the discovery of the the Dragon Bong,
it's not actually the the Dragon Bong that he finds,
it's just a computer with an Ebay page open,
- [Nathan] Okay.
- [Caldwell] and he puts in the winning bid
for the the Dragon Bong, which is made
by some ceramics guy in Colorado.
- [Nathan] On planet Colorado, yeah.
- [Caldwell] (laughs) He travels to planet Colorado
to forge the the Dragon Bong.
It cost him like 300 bucks, but it's worth it,
'cause it's such a conversation piece. (laughs)
We've really gotta draw a villain at some point,
but in the final battle, he has to call upon
all the people of Earth to lend him their power,
so that he can do the biggest weed possible.
- [Nathan] Yeah, well, he calls upon the people of Earth
to lend him their weed, because he has run out
and his dude, Franky Dubs is on Spring Break.
- [Caldwell] Oh, he can't hook him up, yeah?
- He can't hook him up, he posts on Facebook,
he's like, yo, can anyone help me out?
- And then Piccolo rides by on a hoverboard
and is like, "Nice!"
- [Nathan] Yeah, so in the the Dragon Ball anime,
Piccolo is actually created when a green, alien, monster man
named Commy splits himself into a good and evil version
and we actually learn later
that Commy also split himself into a chill version.
(laughing)
- [Managar] Wait, does that mean
there's like a freaky version of Piccolo
that's just like having an existential crisis
on his best friend's couch?
- [Nathan] One of the arcs in the Dragon Bong THC
is that Toku and Chill Piccolo
have to help Freak Out Piccolo calm the fuck down.
(laughing)
- [Managar] I know you spent a lot of time
drawing and world building here,
but I would just watch the anime of Piccolo freaking out,
(laughs) 'cause he got a little too high
on some of that heady.
- [Nathan] Some of that Namekian Kush, (laughs)
and I guess on this quest as well would be Weedjita,
he's another Cannaboid, but he has different ideas
about how you should smoke,
I guess he's probably more into like vaping.
- [Nathan] Oh yeah, Vapejita.
(laughing)
Toku's nemesis, Vapejita.
- I feel like you could spend all of eternity,
which is what we have, - Yeah.
- on this drawing,
but I feel like we've gotta keep moving, right?
- Yeah, yeah, just let me finish it.
- [Caldwell] Okay. (laughing)
- [Nathan] You're gonna draw a villain, right?
- [Caldwell] Should I draw Vapejita?
- [Nathan] I think you've gotta draw Vapejita.
- [Caldwell] Okay, cool,
maybe like a startup kind of weed smoker?
- Hm. - he's a businessman,
but he still likes to get a little high,
- Yeah. - and that's why
he and Toku can never chill,
'cause Toku has fully embraced the marijuana rhythm,
he's on that Jane Train.
- Wow, you really have not smoked a lot of weed
in your life. (laughing)
- [Caldwell] Hey Managar, if Nathan just drew
this weed robot for the rest of time, would that be okay?
- [Managar] No, 'cause for Nathan, it would be Heaven.
- Oh. - Yeah.
Okay, this is fine, it's a little top heavy.
- [Caldwell] I think that you smoke through it once
and it instantly falls over.
- You have to make sure that it's lightheaded enough
(laughing)
to not fall over.
- Alright, so I'm gonna draw a villain real quick,
this is Vapejita, he's very fashionable,
he doesn't even need these glasses.
(laughs) These are special weed glasses.
- There's weed scouters. - Oh yeah.
- [Nathan] He can tell your highness level.
- Yes, ah, ah, ah! - There it is,
there it is! - Yeah!
I did it!
I saved the show.
- [Nathan] It's over 4:20!
- [Caldwell] We made the joke, we did it.
Nathan, do you have any good weed tales?
- [Nathan] Oh yeah, this one time,
I smoked the illegal substance
- Yeah. - that is pot
and then I ordered some food and I ate it
and I watched the cartoons and I committed no crimes,
because I had no interest in going outside.
- [Caldwell] That sounds like paradise.
- [Nathan] Yeah, it's only illegal
as an excuse to arrest minorities.
(laughing)
- Wait a minute, Nathan, I have to interrupt
your poignant, yet forced political messages,
Caldwell! - What's wrong?
- You fool, you've doomed us all!
What is the one thing every anime needs?
- Is it heart? - No!
- Is it emotional resonance? - No!
- What is it?
- Waifus!
(laughing)
Y'all forgot the Waifus.
- Oh, dang it, we got the mechs, we got the determined boys,
we got a villain, what about a Waifu?
- [Caldwell] Oh shit, you're right.
- [Managar] Could you imagine watching a show
that didn't have a very simplified female character
on which you can project all of your intimacy issues?
- [Nathan] In a weed anime, instead of a Mary Sue,
is it a Mary Jane?
(laughing)
- Hey guys, what if I made Vapejita into a lady?
- [Nathan] I think it works, yeah.
- [Caldwell] I think it'll definitely work,
I should make this like a little more of a cool rig, right?
- Yeah, it can be one of them like robot guys.
- Excuse me?
- Yeah, one of them robo-vapes
and this is just her Skirmisher Vape,
she has a full Volcano, that she busts out,
when she powers up.
- [Caldwell] Maybe it's like attached to her somehow?
- [Nathan] Oh yeah, so she's just got
like a giant, plastic bag on her back for--
- I think it's like. - a vaper.
- [Caldwell] We might need to go a little steampunk with it,
I think. - Okay.
- [Caldwell] It's like some sort of bagpipe almost.
(laughing)
- [Managar] As stoners do on the Scottish Highlands.
- [Nathan] It's a common misconception
that the Scottish Highlands are misty,
that's just all that dank vape smoke.
- [Caldwell] I mean, it is why they call it
the Highlands, my God.
My thought though is that like Vapejita
is not the final villain.
- [Nathan] No, they're gonna become friends,
Toku is so free willed and optimistic
and Vapejita is so pragmatic and serious,
but at the end of the day, the power of their friendship
and their love of Oreos just wins out.
Their true villains are those dang Narks,
those people that are trying to take
all the dankness away from the universe.
- [Managar] Oh, so like instead of blowing up planets,
they just push for mandatory sentencing laws?
- [Nathan] Yeah.
- [Managar] I would love to watch an anime
in which cool weed warriors
just Kung Fu fight the United States Congress.
(laughing)
- [Nathan] Can I suggest the name of maybe a villain?
- Oh, absolutely. - Narkuto.
(laughing)
- [Caldwell] You're crossing the streams a little bit,
but I like it.
- [Nathan] We're playing Calvinball, we're in Hell,
no IPs are safe. - Kid killers
are already dead, bitches.
- [Nathan] I just love the idea of a straight edge Ninja.
(laughing)
- [Caldwell] His headband's got the two Xs on it.
- [Nathan] Yeah.
- Nathan, could you offer me some help on maybe like
spicing up this rig here?
- Put a skull on it. - Oh, for sure.
Why don't I just make it one big skull?
- I like that. - Yeah,
oh wow, that is pretty good. - Yeah.
- [Managar] I've gotta say, that's a gnarly skull
and I have seen trillions.
- [Caldwell] Oh thank you, yeah,
coming from you, that means a lot.
Alright, I feel like these eyes glow.
- [Nathan] Yeah, they glow red and then they turn green,
when it's ready to smoke. - Gotcha, cool, cool, cool.
Alright, I'm just gonna make these
like straight up smokestacks then.
- Here's the thing is the longer they battle,
the higher they get. - Yeah.
- Then they forget why they were fighting.
- (laughs) I'm just gonna give these,
some nice, thick thighs in here, why not.
- Yeah, can we-- - There we go,
- Yeah. - and then boots,
you've gotta have boots. - Gotta have boots
for when you're trudging around the quad
looking for a replacement for Franky.
- [Caldwell] Is Franky Dubs a real person, that you knew?
- [Nathan] I had a Franky Dubs in my life.
- [Managar] Here's a fun at home exercise,
if you're one of the several demons watching this right now,
go on to Demonic Facebook and see what happened to your guy.
- (laughs) Oh no. - Does he have a family?
Is he an investment banker?
Did he die in a ditch?
Who knows?
Fun discoveries.
- Hey guys, I'm having trouble figuring out
like how this giant woman should fit in to any of this,
I feel like I might need to lose the legs
and just kind of have it loom a little more?
- I mean, I like those legs,
she could just be on the other side of the mech
and the mech is big and she's regular size?
- [Caldwell] Okay, so I fixed the design a little bit,
I think this is feeling a little more cohesive.
- [Nathan] And the great thing about a weed anime
is if you can't figure out what to do with the background,
just fill it up with smoke. - Yeah, just cover it
with that good Greenhouse Gas.
- [Nathan] Hm-mm.
- [Managar] Weed animes and N64 games, just add some fog.
- [Caldwell] You know what?
I'm gonna do one last detail,
I'm just gonna draw the moon, - Yeah.
- [Caldwell] but it's that green moon, baby.
- As a palm frond? - Yeah.
- No, it's one of those-- - A maple leaf?
- [Caldwell] Yeah, it's one of those weed maples,
you know, it's like the Muad'dib on the moon, you know,
it's like the cool leaf on this planet.
- [Managar] Why did you draw facehugger
from Ridley Scott's Alien franchise?
- [Caldwell] I was trying to draw a weed leaf,
come on, guys!
You know that I wanna smoke down
one of them good, good hand turkeys.
- [Managar] You sound more like a cop,
the more you talk like that.
- [Caldwell] I'm not a Hell cop, as cool as that sounds.
- [Nathan] Can you also just throw in
some like star twinkles around that moon?
- [Caldwell] Oh, absolutely.
I think that's just a good design cheat,
when in doubt, add some sprinkles.
- [Nathan] Add some sprinkles, add some twinkles.
- It works for ice cream, it works for drawing.
Alright, I'm feeling good about this.
- So I'll draw the Straight Edge Ninja,
Narkato, the Ninja who hates fun.
- [Caldwell] (laughs) The ultimate villain,
Narkato the Straight Edge Ninja.
- [Managar] Oh, you know what?
Here's a friendly reminder,
if you're one of those people that pronounces it Narudo,
- Yeah. - you definitely are in Hell.
- [Caldwell] Also worth mentioning
that it's okay to be straight edge,
but the problem with Narkato
is that he's pushing his lifestyle on others.
- [Nathan] The problem is he joined the RAs
or Regional Avengers, - Right,
a government authority group
dedicated to harshing everyone's vibe.
- Yeah, - the thing is,
I feel like as a Ninja,
he's upset, because with this amount of smoke around,
it's kind of distracting from his smoke
that he uses to escape and get to other places.
- [Nathan] Yeah, it's not respecting the smoke
as a tool for deception.
So Narkato shows up season two,
- Hm-mm. - and then I think,
just thinking ahead, I think Narkato is sort of,
remains a villainous force throughout the series.
- [Caldwell] Sure.
- [Nathan] Like they defeat him once,
but eventually Narkato comes back stronger then ever.
- Oh, shit. - and again,
they need to reconcile their differences.
- [Caldwell] Hm-mm.
- [Nathan] I like to think that Toku defeats Narkato
by just grabbing him and saying like weed is good, dude,
fucking give it a shot, my man,
don't be such a nerd!
That's the thing about Narkato's design as is
is that he does look kind of like
a dorky college Republican in a windbreaker.
(laughing)
Yeah, I think he is wearing a suit.
- [Caldwell] (laughs) Narkato in a suit.
I'm just picturing normal businessmen,
but they are wearing Narkato headbands.
So yeah, does Narkato eventually smoke up
and learn to be chill?
- [Nathan] Yeah, I think eventually.
- [Managar] Like the Dragon Bong lets loose a rip
so dank, that he is overwhelmed by it.
(laughing)
- [Caldwell] I love that you did the triple X design
from the movie, XXX.
- [Nathan] Yeah, I did do that.
- [Caldwell] I'm pretty sure that Vin Diesel
is straight edge in that movie too.
- [Managar] You know, Vin Diesel is actually
not going to go to Hell when he dies,
unlike most celebrities.
- Oh, yeah? - He's too strong!
- [Caldwell] Hey, Managar,
what other celebrities are not going to Hell?
- [Managar] Well, Captain Lou Albano
personally wrestled his way into Heaven.
- [Caldwell] Nice.
- [Managar] Most cast members from Mean Girls,
you know which ones. - Yeah, yeah, yeah.
- Brent Spiner is technically
a Greek God sent down in mortal form
and every other Jenner in birth order
and Miranda Cosgrove will actually ascend
the throne of Hell, - Oh, cool.
- [Managar] when she dies.
- [Caldwell] Man, thank God that we got
a suggestion involving weed,
otherwise we wouldn't have been able to cover
all of the things we didn't wanna draw with smoke.
- Oh-oh, the Crimson Flame has lit on my desk here
and the time for judgment has arrived.
- Oh-oh, - Oh, shit,
Nathan, you've gotta finish up, the alarm's going off.
- Does something smell like sulfur to you?
- Yeah, always.
- Okay, good, just double checking.
- [Caldwell] Yeah, Nathan's just gotta fix
all the problems that I left for him,
but once he does that, I think we'll be good to go,
I'm pretty sure we did what Jeter R asked.
- [Managar] It is weed anime, that is what it is.
- I truly hope so.
I think it's about time to feed this into Cartoon-O-Tron
and make this into a little cartoon.
- Yeah, let's do it.
(speaking in foreign language)
- Arise, Cartoon-O-Tron and judge that which has been drawn.
- My ears are ringing.
Hello, everybody, I am Cartoon-O-Tron,
how are you today?
- Oh, pretty, you know, all things considered,
regular day in Hell.
- Okay, if you want to feed that cartoon
right into my mouth, I will poop out
a cool cartoon for you fun fellas.
- Here it goes.
(mechanical whirring)
- Hm, it tastes sticky, icky, icky.
Okay, here we go.
(dynamic upbeat music)
- Give it up, Toku,
your primitive Dragon Bong can only get you stony,
while my ultra-vape technology allows me
to get stony baloney!
- Huh, we'll see about that,
smoke up!
(coughing)
(ringing phone)
Oh, hold up, I gotta take this.
Toku here, danks for calling.
- Toku, it's Freak Out Piccolo,
he's freaking out.
- What do we even need money for?
- And even worse,
Narkato is making the rounds.
- Hey, everything okay in there?
(thudding)
- No, I'm not okay, I'm way too high.
- Dude, shut up!
(dynamic upbeat music)
- Alright, wow, hey, that was the show.
- Dragon Bong THC.
- I got the results from our Panel of Unknowable Horrors.
- What did they think?
- They hated it, let me get the notes,
trash, trash, - Hm-mm.
- hot trash.
- Yeah.
- This one just says dead buffalo tits.
- Is it a reference?
I don't get it.
- I don't get it either.
Some of the problems here,
you guys, is smoking weed
just supposed to be funny in of itself?
- Yeah. - Yeah.
- That didn't play well with demons?
- Also, this is an anime, you guys are funny cartoonists,
why didn't you make a joke about women's underwear?
- You know, we tried to make it a little more progressive,
that I hope that didn't lose us any points.
- Unfortunately it did.
- Ah. - Ah.
- I mean, I was really rooting for you guys,
but I just got word from the lower ups,
unfortunately their very demanding low standards
were not met this time around.
But hear me out, we will rerun it on Tunami
at midnight for at least a month.
- That's a win. - There you go,
it's already in reruns.
- This is the irony, only stoners will be awake to watch it.
- Well, Caldwell, we didn't earn our freedom.
- No. - I really thought
it was within our grasp.
- I guess we'll just have to try again next week.
- Yeah.
- Thanks for watching Cartoon Hell
and we're here forever.
- I wanna get high now.
- Maybe if we hold our breaths long enough
and then huff in some of these sulfur fumes,
we could-- (coughing)
Way ahead of you. (coughing) - Alright.
- I see spots. - See you next week.
(dynamic upbeat music)
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